32

32

KADE

FLASHBACK 7

Stacey has always been the girl out of reach for me. The girl I wanted but could never have. My sister’s best friend who hated me with every fibre of her being.

I was the deranged kid. The mentally fucked-up kid. A boy who struggled with basic emotions.

But whenever I’m around her, I want to learn everything there is to feel. I want to be good enough for her. I want to be able to feel this way and not worry about it turning into something dark and sinister, the way it did with my parents.

Hurting Stacey would kill me.

I doodle while I wait for her to get out of the shower. We’re in a hotel in London, just after seeing The Greatest Showman live in theatre. Stacey cried the entire fucking show, and it triggered something protective inside me I never knew existed.

Without realising, I’ve drawn a rough design of both our initials interlacing with each other – unrecognisable, unless you know what to look for. I want to add vines and some roses to make it pretty for her, maybe a scripture of something meaningful, but I have no idea what it should say.

I leave it blank and work more on the details.

When the door unlocks, I quickly shove the paper into my pocket and get to my feet.

Holding a towel to her wet body, she stops in the middle of the room. “Hi.”

I smirk. “Hi.”

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she says. “When I woke and you were gone, I thought…” She pulls her lip between her teeth.

I approach her, eating up the distance slowly. I’m still hard from devouring her pussy. She fell asleep right after.

“You thought what?”

She shivers as I drag my knuckles down her arm. “I…” She trails off, her head tilting to the side as I come closer and press chaste kisses against her fluttering pulse. My fingers tease across her towel, testing her reaction, and I pause when she hesitates. “I’m very inexperienced, Kade.”

“I nearly passed out when you sucked my dick in the studio before we came down here.”

The room was spinning, and I’m not ashamed to admit I slid to the floor and had to take a second. She did it again while I drove us down here, and I have no idea how I didn’t crash.

She blushes. “I’m still inexperienced in other stuff.”

I cup her cheek gently, lowering my voice. “So am I.”

“Doesn’t it bother you that I don’t know what I’m doing?”

I let out a disbelieving laugh. “Stacey, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing either.” I caress her cheek with my thumb. “We’re the same. When we’re ready, we’ll learn from each other. No rushing. Okay?”

She stares at me, and I swear I see a shield behind her eyes lowering.

“Do you want to wait?” she asks softly, her eyes dropping to my mouth. Her towel stays on her as she wraps her arms around my neck, rising to her tiptoes. “For more?”

“Only if you need me to.”

“I think I need you now,” she says as her nose nudges mine. “I want to experience it all.” Her voice drops to a whisper against my mouth. “With you. Now.”

The kiss comes first, then her body is crushed to mine as I lift her into my arms, the towel dropping to the ground. With a hum of satisfaction, her back hits the mattress, and I’m on her.

She’s unbuttoning my shirt as my hands explore her body. I dig my fingers into her hips and press my hardening cock between her legs.

Then I pull away and unbuckle my belt, yanking the leather out and tossing it across the room. She reaches inside my boxers and palms my cock, gliding her nails up the underside.

I kick the rest of my clothes off the bed and settle between her legs again, kissing up the column of her throat.

Her nipples are hard, and they rub against my chest as I slide the head of my cock against her inner thigh, swallowing her whimpers when my fingers push inside her.

She feels so wet, warm and ready.

She feels like mine.

Stacey Rhodes is mine.

While I fuck her with my fingers, I suck a nipple into my mouth, and her body starts shaking. With my free hand, I palm the other breast, rolling her nipple between my finger and thumb.

I groan as my name falls from her lips, kissing along her collarbone, her throat, then coming back to her mouth.

“Is this okay?” I ask her as my fingers speed up, curling to find that sweet spot that has her eyes rolling. “Answer me, Stacey.”

“Yes!” She gasps into my mouth, and I taste each moan with my tongue. “Can I” – she reaches between us and takes my dick in a fist – “do this?”

“Yes,” I hiss, pushing my hips forward as I slide another finger inside her.

The room grows hot as we kiss and fuck with our hands, whimpering and moaning into each other’s mouth. She bites my lip and sucks, and I kiss a trail up her throat while all the blood in my body goes to my cock.

It throbs in her hand; the kisses grow hungrier – and messier.

“I want you,” she says against my lips, releasing my cock and hooking her ankles at my calves to pull me to her. “All of you.”

I stare at her, feel her beneath me, feel my heart pounding in my chest as I take in her beauty. Dark hair surrounds her on the pillow, and with her freckles and the flush in her cheeks, her long lashes and pouty lips, I honestly couldn’t think of a more perfect person to be experiencing all of this with.

She’s the definition of beautiful, and she wants me.

She belongs to me.

I’m whipped, and she isn’t even my girlfriend.

But I might hurt her. I will hurt her. I’ll do it wrong and make this a nightmare for her.

“What if I hurt you?”

Stacey takes my face in her hands. “I heard it can be uncomfortable the first time. But I’m ready, Kade.”

My brows narrow. “But I don’t want to hurt you.”

“We’ll go slow. It doesn’t hurt when you use your… If I’m uncomfortable, I’ll tell you, okay?”

I nod then feel like stabbing myself in the dick. “I didn’t bring condoms.”

She smiles. “Front zip of my suitcase.”

“I should be ashamed that I forgot, but it’s kind of hot that you brought them.”

Stacey grins as I go to her suitcase and pull out an unopened packet of condoms.

“You even knew to get large.” I chuckle and pull the plastic off. “Good girl.”

She crawls to the edge of the bed, and she distracts me. “Stand here.” She points in front of her.

I don’t hesitate. When I’m in place, she tells me to open the box, but I nearly drop it on her head as she sucks my cock into her mouth.

She pops it out from between her lips. “Open the box and unwrap one.”

As her tongue glides up my twitching cock, I gulp, quickly ripping the box to shreds.

“Do you know how to put one on? Or do you want me to try to do it?”

I don’t want to admit that I’ve tried on every condom imaginable while bored in my room, so instead, I shake my head and tell her to do it.

She doesn’t take her eyes off me as she rolls it down my cock and finds her place in the middle of the bed, head on the pillow.

As I climb on top of her and line the tip of my dick up to her entrance, I try to focus on her and not the panic rising in my chest. If I do this wrong, I might hurt her. If I’m a failure and unable to perform, then I’m never having sex again.

I’ll cut my dick off if I hurt her.

What if I’m no good?

I’ve heard Dez and Base discuss fucking people plenty of times, even had a full description from the latter of how warm and tight and fucking heavenly it feels to be inside someone.

But that’s not what I’m thinking about.

All that’s going through my mind is that I’m a fuck-up in most things. This will inevitably suck for her.

She had to talk me through going down on her, for fuck’s sake.

“Hey.” Her soft voice breaks my inner thoughts, her hands on my face. “Be here with me.”

“I am.” My voice shakes. “Sorry.”

Her hand slips down my chest. “Don’t apologise.”

I bite my tongue to stop myself. She notices, smiles that beautiful smile that warms my dysfunctional heart, then rises to press her lips to mine.

We don’t rush anything as we kiss. The tip of my cock is easing inside her, and my arms are shaking so fucking badly. I feel like she’s trying to push me out, like there’s a fist around my dick trying to force me away.

I stop pressing my hips forward. Take a breath. Kiss her forehead and ask if she’s okay, and when she nods and presses her heels to my ass, I slowly push into her.

Inch by inch, eyes locked, lips parted, we become each other’s firsts. And if I can help it, lasts.

“Fuck. You’re gripping me so tight.” I try to move a little deeper, but she winces, so I stay still. “We don’t need to do this if it’s hurting you.”

I ease back, her inner walls pushing me out with the pressure. With my head still inside, I wait for her to speak.

“No.” She hooks her ankles behind my thighs tighter. “It doesn’t hurt – it’s more of a pressure. Just…” She gently rolls her hips, and I hiss from the sensation. “Keep going.”

I lower my body to hers, my elbows resting on each side of her head as I kiss her. Stacey sucks on my tongue as I slowly move out a few inches then slide back home, which earns me a whimper.

Stomach muscles tightening with each carefully controlled thrust, I keep my eyes on Stacey. Looking for any sign of discomfort, showing her that she has my full attention, that this might be sex, but it’s her and her soul and fucking heart that have got my emotions running wild.

Her fingers dig into my biceps as I go deeper, a mixture of a moan and a gasp filling the space between us. I keep my forehead to hers. “How does it feel?”

Stacey rocks her hips into mine, nearly taking all of me and moaning, “I want more.”

“More?”

She nods. “Yeah. Give me more, Kade.”

I give her one hard thrust to test how it feels and grit my teeth. Fuck. Her pupils are fully dilated; she’s drunk with pleasure, and when I drive inside her, her body trembles beneath me. I hit that spot that has her seeing stars and then do it again, hooking my arm behind her knee to open her wider.

I fuck into her, not in the slightest fast, but deep. Each glide of my dick, the way I’m strangled by her walls, has me groaning and kissing her. Each stroke of my tongue is a push of my hips, her rolling into me and us letting sounds fall from our lips.

I was fifteen when I met her, and that’s when my obsession began. Now, as I feel her body shattering around me and beneath me, orgasm slamming into her with my name on her lips, I know it’s an obsession I’ll never get over.

Because as the pleasure blooms through me and rockets through each muscle in my body, my balls tighten, and I empty into the condom.

I collapse on her, careful not to crush her as I catch my breath, then pull back to ease out of her. Once I toss the condom in the bin beside the bed, I caress her cheek. “Talk to me, Freckles. How do you feel?”

She grins. “Amazing.”

“You’re not sore?”

“A little,” she admits, and we glance down between us, noticing the spots of blood on the sheets.

I stop her hands from covering her face. “You don’t need to be embarrassed about this stuff. Not with me, okay?”

“It doesn’t disgust you?”

I shake my head. “As long as you’re okay, I don’t care about anything else.”

“I’m okay.”

I kiss the tip of her nose. “Then so am I.”

In her post-orgasmic state, Stacey leans up and kisses me. It’s a chaste kiss, but it means more than all the others we’ve had the past hour.

And it’s now, as I carry her to the bathroom and clean us both, that I realise I might be feeling an emotion I’ve only ever heard about. One I had no idea existed for me – never knew I was capable of feeling.

An emotion that makes me want to blind everyone in the world so they can never see how beautiful she is. I’ll stick a screwdriver deep in their ear canals, so they’ll never hear her laugh. The idea of anyone thinking they can have her after me makes my blood boil.

Dangerous. This is so fucking dangerous.

I think I’m falling in love with Stacey Rhodes.