31

31

STACEY

The screen above us flashes up Check In for our flighthome.

The number Aria gave me for Tobias’s secret phone burns in my pocket – where my phone starts to buzz.

I slide my bag down my arm and pull it out to see Kade’s name on the screen. I glance up at his sister, who’s none the wiser, whistling to herself while a crowd in front of us argue about their baggage weight.

I don’t answer, but I do send him a text asking if he meant to call.

Then his name is on my screen again.

On the third call, I eventually tell Tylar I need to answer and wheel my suitcase out of the line. There’s no point trying to talk to a drunken Kade while checking in. I’ll just join the queue once I’m done talking to him.

As soon as I answer, I frown at his silence, covering my other ear. “Kade?”

“I don’t… I don’t want to work,” he says, and I can tell he’s really drunk. “Talk to me, Freckles.”

“I’m here,” I reply, moving hair behind my ear. “I thought you were out with Dez and Base? Did you leave the club?”

“I don’t want to work,” he says again, but I can hear his voice going strange, as if he’s trying to stay awake. “I don’t.”

“Where are you?”

He coughs, then I hear the sound of his lighter flicking, him inhaling and exhaling a lungful of smoke. “Did I wake you?”

I sigh. “No. Where are you?”

“An alleyway.” He slaps his hands together. “I can’t get rid of the blood. My palms are red as fuck.”

My eyes widen. “You’re bleeding?”

He laughs once – low and deadly. “Not mine. It’s dark here – I kinda like it.”

“Where’s Dez and Base?” I look over at Tylar and Lu, still waiting impatiently. The airport is so loud, I decide to quickly go outside to hear him better. “Kade?”

“Club. I had to go do a stupid job.”

I lean my back against the wall next to the entrance, the cold nipping my skin. “Why did you call me?”

“I wanted to,” he replies, inhaling more smoke. “Do you remember when we made a deal to quit smoking?”

“Yeah?” I haven’t touched a cigarette since.

“I used to sneak one behind your back.”

I laugh, my cheeks heating. “I knew. You were never good at hiding your cigarettes.”

We talk about those times, and I try not to think about him trying to kill himself after we split up. Fifteen minutes go by, maybe longer, and I’m hoping one of his friends finds him soon, or he gets an Uber to his hotel. He tells me that Barry is coming, but then says Barry might be dead, and I gasp.

“I’m kidding.”

“That’s not funny, Kade. My gate closes soon, so I’ll need to come off the phone.”

“I guess I wanted your voice to be the last I heard…”

I straighten. “What? What do you mean?”

“I took something I shouldn’t have, and I needed to hear you before…” he slurs. “Wait, I’m not hallucinating, am I? Are you actually talking to me?”

“What did you take? What kind of drug?”

I pull up the handle of my suitcase and rush back into the airport. But I freeze in place when I see the board closed and the desk empty. Where are my friends?

I have a text from Tylar saying they’re going to lose their signal and to hurry up.

“Freckles, please talk to me.”

“Where are Dez and Base?” I ask for the tenth time. “You need to get to them. Go back to the club.”

He doesn’t reply.

“Where are you?” I ask. “Tell me where you are.”

“I already…” He breathes deeply. “I already said I’m at… the alleyway.”

“Send me your location – I’m coming to get you.”

Kade groans, but a notification pops up, and I rush to the first Uber I see. An elderly man greets me and places my things into the trunk, and I show him my screen, the call still active. He inputs it into his database and the route shows up.

“I’m tired.”

“Stay awake.”

I beg the driver to speed, and Kade repeats the same thing over and over – that he wants to hear my voice. He doesn’t believe it’s actually me and thinks someone is playing a trick on him. The longer the drive takes, the more confused he gets. I place him on hold quickly, but Lu and Ty both go straight to voicemail, as do Base and Dez.

“Are you still there? You sound like my ex. Her name is Stacey.”

I press my forehead to my knees. “I am Stacey.”

“Hmm. You wish.”

I close my eyes. “Are you okay? How do you feel?”

“I can’t get the blood off my hands, and someone is doing cartwheels in front of me.” He huffs. “Kind of creepy. Hey! Fuck off, will you?”

“Calm down. I’m nearly there.”

There’s another voice. Barry. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Kade yawns. “Chilling.”

Barry takes the phone. “Who is this?”

I hang up as soon as the car reaches the alleyway. The driver sets my bags on the kerb, and I rush down to see Barry standing over Kade, his phone light shining down on him.

I gasp when I notice him slouched on the ground between two large bins, back to the wall, another joint between his fingers. He screws his eyes up against the blinding light, raising a red hand to shield himself from it.

“You two here to kill me?”

Barry sighs.

I kneel between his legs and shine my own phone light on my face so he can see me. “It’s me. Come on.” I offer my hand and blanch at the red stains all over his clothes. “Put your arm around me.”

“That’s very forward of you, but okay.”

He takes my hand, and I try not to stare at the crimson on his skin – or his eyes, which are going in every direction possible. Barry and I help Kade up, and he staggers, throwing one arm across my shoulders, the other over Barry’s.

“The car is over there,” Barry says, and we hurry.

Kade studies my face. “You look like my ex.”

“I know,” I say, looking at Barry. “Do you have a hotel to take him to?”

“No,” Kade blurts out as Barry tells me yes, pulling away from me as I sit down beside him. “I don’t want to work.”

I stop him from trying to open the car door. He’s that fucked he can’t fight me off.

“I’m not fucking working!”

“You aren’t,” I reply. “Please calm down, Kade.”

When we reach Barry’s hotel, I’m still rubbing his back; he’s slouched forward on the seat with his head between his legs.

We manage to get him inside. The receptionist doesn’t ask why there’s a man standing with his head against the lobby wall, talking about flavours of chocolate. She does offer me water and lets me know there’s a cleaning service if I need it.

Trying to get Kade into the elevator is difficult. He thinks I’m putting him into a prison. He tells me he isn’t an animal that can be caged. So me and Barry carry him up the stairs, which he falls down four times. The last time he manages to grab my arm as he topples.

He laughs as I fall on top of him, telling me that not only do I look like his ex, but I’m also as clumsy as her too.

Kade has already unbuttoned his trousers and is asking me how much I paid as Barry grabs water from his fridge.

“I need to go clean up this mess. I’ll be gone for a few days. Stay here. Make sure he drinks plenty of water and rests.”

“Where are you going?”

He looks at Kade. “If I don’t sort this out, Kade will most likely end up in prison for the rest of his life. He shot a political leader in front of a lot of witnesses.”

I look at Kade as Barry leaves – he’s swaying around the room, humming “From Now On” from The Greatest Showman.

“Drink this.” I hand him the water. “And try to make yourself sick.”

He grimaces. “Sick? No thanks.”

He downs the water and tosses the bottle, then proceeds to talk to me about recycling.

Kade then lies on the bed, staring at the roof. “Can you pretend we had sex?”

I frown. “What?”

“Just… tell her we did. I don’t want to work,” he says, slurring some more.

Slowly – and messily – he starts to strip off his clothes. His top first, then he attempts to pull his trousers down, which I eventually help him with. Everything is muddy and covered in blood. Even his socks and hair.

“I probably won’t get hard.”

“Did you kill someone tonight?”

“A few someones, yeah.” He pulls a joint from behind his ear and attempts to light it with a lighter that isn’t there. “Fuck.” Both hands drop, and he groans. “I hate this.”

I go into the bathroom and soak a cloth, coming back in to find him sitting up on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, only in boxers. I rinse the cloth off after wiping his face and come back for his arms, his chest and the back of his neck.

I’m standing between his legs, scrubbing at his hair, when he captures me in his arms. My body reacts to his possessive touch – I stop wiping when his strong arms tighten and rest my hands on his shoulders.

“Are you okay?” I ask quietly as Kade presses his forehead to my midsection.

“Can I hold you and pretend you’re her?”

I tilt my head, narrowing my brows as I look down at him. “Who?”

“My ex-girlfriend.”

I toss the cloth aside and brush my fingers through his hair. “Okay,” I say softly. “Lie down.”

“Will you tell her we had sex? I won’t take money from you. I promise.”

“Tell Stacey? Pay you for… sex?”

“Fuck no. She’d hate me even more.” He furrows his brows in confusion. “Obviously for sex. Why else would you be here?”

“Oh,” I respond, feeling ill. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Did you pay her yet?”

“No. Just…” I swallow. “Lie down.”

He flattens himself on the bed and looks at me. “You’re really pretty though.”

I chew the inside of my cheek. “Thanks.”

His eyes are closed, and his skin is hot, so I tell him to stay above the covers. I chew my lip, debating if I should stand here and see if he falls asleep without me beside him.

He’ll wake up tomorrow and tell me to fuck off.

I think.

I’m not entirely sure anymore. He’s made it clear I disgust him yet still approaches me. I’ve never been so confused in my life.

I’ll stay with him and fly home tomorrow. My friends will be worried sick.

I pull off my hoodie, but keep everything else on, and lie down beside him. His powerful arms drag me into him, and I fight a smile. This is wrong. This is so, so wrong. He has no idea that it’s me.

I take a deep breath. “Who was I to pay to have sex with you?”

“The she-devil.” Kade yawns. “She’s horrible, if you haven’t met her yet.”

“What’s her name?”

He shakes his head. “Not allowed to say.”

“Are you a male prostitute?”

“You could say that, yeah. An escort with perks…” His voice trails off.

There is silence, and I tackle the uneasiness.

“Tell me about your ex?”

I’m an idiot. A chancing, idiotic idiot.

I can sense the grin as he replies, “She has freckles everywhere. I used to trace them when she was asleep. You even wear the same perfume.”

He tightens his hold, and I link our fingers and trap our hands against my chest.

“You feel like her as well. Are you okay with me hugging you? When I get all fucked up, I think about her, and this is helping.”

I nod and wipe a tear. “Yeah.”

“Thank you.”

My heart is racing, but he doesn’t make it obvious if he can tell.

“She was my first kiss. First… everything. She’s my sister’s best friend. Does that make me a bad person?”

I shake my head. “No.”

He chuckles low. “She’s funny. If she was here and in a good mood, she’d say something along the lines of… Let’s dance. Horizontal. In bed. Preferably naked.”

His attempt at my voice is terrible, but it makes me laugh.

“She sounds funny,” I say. “What else?”

“I want to fuck her on my motorbike.”

My eyes ping open.

“I reckon she’d love it.”

My insides turn to liquid heat – having him nearly naked against me and saying things like that is making my heart pick up its pace even more. “I might take her out on it when we get home, if she gives me the time of day.”

I turn on my back, and Kade lowers his head onto my chest, snaking one arm under the small of my back, the other draped over my waist – cuddling into me.

“I’m going to take her to my apartment in Stirling.” Nodding against me, he slowly adds, “Maybe she’ll stay the night.”

“You have your own place?” I always thought he stayed in student accommodation at university.

Kade laughs, and the sound makes me warm. “I’m a grown man. Of course I have my own place, silly.”

I smile – the tone of his voice has turned cute as he grows sleepier. He curls into me more, and I play with the dark strands of his hair that are sticking up.

“How do you feel now?”

He sighs, stuttering a little as he replies, “F-Fine. I wanted to hear her voice. She didn’t answer though.”

I frown.

“I have a lot of money, but it’s dirty,” he admits randomly, eyes closed. “She’ll never let me spend it on her, will she?”

“Do you want to? If she’s your ex…”

Ignoring me, he relaxes completely. “I miss her,” he mumbles. “But we have no chance of getting back what we had.”

I fight the burn in my eyes. “I know.”

“She was pregnant. A girl. We lost her.”

My heart shatters. “I’m sorry.”

“It sucks.”

Kade’s temperature has lowered, and a light sweat has broken out on his skin. The room is hot, so I pull off my bottoms.

I miss her, he’d said.

I miss him too.

But Kade is right – we would never work now. Too much has happened. Chris would intervene again and ruin it, and Kade isn’t stable enough to hold down a relationship with all the skeletons locked away in his closet. He needs help, and he needs it fast.

The pillow shifts, and I gasp as Kade pulls me to him tighter; I fit against him like the perfect puzzle piece. I feel at home in his arms and almost burst into tears from the intensity of the moment.

Turning in his hold, I bury my head into his chest, inhaling his scent as he breathes steadily. My eyes finally fall shut when the sunrise splits through the window, and for the first time in a long time, I’m in Kade’s arms, feeling safer than ever.