Chapter 5

FIVE

TULLY

I knew I’d fucked up the minute Dev’s face had gone blank. In my haste to get answers, I’d pushed too much too soon, and I silently cursed myself.

I’d been enjoying our talk—or, more accurately, I’d been enjoying the subconscious twitch of his lips whenever something amused him, the scent of sandalwood as the wind ruffled his dark curls, and the competent way his big hands gripped the steering wheel as he maneuvered us down the road.

When I’d realized I was relaxing a little too much in his presence, I’d panicked and scrambled to get my brain back on track. I hadn’t been as subtle as I should have been, and now Dev was entirely closed off.

Which wasn’t a thing I should feel upset about, I told myself firmly. Lellie was my priority here; that wasn’t in doubt. I needed to determine whether Dev was a fit parent or the kind of person who might take advantage of Lellie’s wealth. I didn’t want to think ill of him, for Katie and Lellie’s sake, but I also knew this world was harsh, and sometimes desperate situations made people… desperate.

I cleared my throat. “I’m… ah… sorry to just show up here with no warning. It’s just that I couldn’t find a phone number for you. I tracked you down to the ranch, but I didn’t want to contact the owners and potentially get your employer involved in a private… situation.”

His jaw ticked as he pulled off the highway and onto a gravel road and under a wooden archway that read Fletcher Ranch. “Appreciate it.”

The awkwardness deepened again as he made his way slowly past an old sprawling ranch house and acres of horse pasture.

“It really is beautiful here.” I winced at the repetition. It had been years since I’d felt this wrong-footed. “I should have asked before we left town, but is there a place I can get a room for me and Lellie, after you and I talk? A bed-and-breakfast or something? I expected to find a hotel or motel on my way from the airstrip, but I didn’t see anything.”

“There’s an inn off Poke Street that probably has room, but you’re not taking Lellie.”

He pulled up to a large barn and pulled my rental next to a dust-covered but very expensive-looking SUV and several late-model horse trailers. Fletcher Ranch must have been doing very well to be able to afford high-end equipment.

It took me a minute to realize what he’d said, and Dev was out of the car before I could respond. I jumped out and scrambled around to face him, but he’d already pulled open Lellie’s door.

“Okay, hold up. I’m not leaving her with you,” I said, feeling the culmination of stress, exhaustion, and annoyance ball together in a dangerous simmer. “You saw how she reacted when you tried to hold her.”

“Then you can sleep on my floor,” Dev said gruffly. “Because if I’m reading you right, and I think I am, I just inherited my own… my own daughter.” He turned to pin me with a familiar hazel stare that swirled now with an explosive mixture of hurt, confusion, sorrow, and yearning. “I don’t know exactly how that will work going forward… but if you mean to take her away one minute after I learned she existed, you can think again.”

“Learned she existed?” I shot back unwisely. “You just go around donating sperm for the hell of it? She’s been alive for over a year, Devon. You never bothered to learn she existed until now.”

The anger radiating off him told me I’d made a mistake even before he leaned closer to me and bit out, “Because she had a mother until now. And I wasn’t aware I owed you an explanation for my choices, Tully.” Something in the firm set of his jaw, the determined intensity of his gaze, and the soft but commanding tone of his voice made my heart hammer.

I was torn between respecting the hell out of him for taking up Lellie’s cause and panicking at the thought of him fighting to keep her without knowing any of the details or having the capacity to give her the life she deserved.

“I’m not leaving her,” I said again. “If that means I have to stay on your floor, fine. You don’t even know what a toddler needs, do you?”

“And you do?” he snapped.

“This particular toddler? Yeah. I do. A hell of a lot better than a perfect stranger, anyway. Which is what you are,” I added unnecessarily. “No matter what DNA you share.” I felt my back teeth grind together. “I was there the day she was born. I held her when she couldn’t sleep for teething. And I’ve changed her diaper more times than you can count. She knows me.”

I didn’t mention that I also had carefully detailed care instructions from the nanny, a brand-new paperback copy of What to Expect the Second Year , and my own mother on speed dial, just in case.

He grunted and nudged me out of the way, pulling open the car door and leaning in to unbuckle the car seat.

Lellie was still fast asleep, her head dangling to one side and her hair blown every which way from the open windows. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until Dev successfully extricated her without waking her.

He straightened and pulled her to his shoulder, murmuring words too soft for me to hear. As soon as she settled against his chest with her messy dark curls next to his, I saw him close his eyes and take a deep, slow breath.

I was the opposite of religious. Had hated every minute of being dragged to church growing up and hated people like the Scotts even more. But witnessing that moment of Dev settling his daughter in his arms for the first time washed over me like a prayer being given divine light.

All the fear and tension bled out of me, and for a split second, I felt like I was standing on hallowed ground… until Dev opened his eyes and exhaled.

“Right. Let’s get inside, then. You got a bag or something for her, or do I need to call someone to pick something up?”

It took me a minute to snap into gear. “No, I’ve got stuff. I’ll just… I’ll just grab it.”

I moved to the back of the rental and began unloading the bags, first pulling out the folded umbrella stroller and then yanking out my small business carry-on, followed by the two very large rolling suitcases the nanny had sent with Lellie.

I felt Dev’s eyes on me while I struggled with the bags, but he made no move to help. He stood holding his daughter and rocking slightly from one dusty cowboy boot to the other.

He looked completely at home in front of a barn. His form-fitted jeans showed off lean muscles and long legs, and a cowboy-style snap-front shirt was tucked neatly behind a worn leather belt with a simple buckle. His skin was sun-warmed and golden. Crinkles next to his eyes indicated he worked in the sun and/or laughed a lot. I got the feeling it was the first.

Devon McKay was still the most beautiful man I’d ever met. Tousled curls lifted lightly in the evening breeze, late-day stubble was just beginning to cast a shadow on his face, and his lips were cherry red like he’d been eating or drinking something with tart berries in it. If anything, he was more tempting than ever.

I’d had plenty of hookups in the time since that night, but none of them had compared. Which was ridiculous. Our night together hadn’t been long or full of heartfelt confessions. We’d barely learned each other’s names, and we hadn’t even exchanged contact information to get together again.

Though I’d wanted to. Desperately.

So why had it stayed with me? And why now could I think of nothing I wanted more than to get the man naked again?

“You coming?” he grumbled.

I blinked at him and then down at the luggage. “You’re seriously not going to help me with these?”

He wrapped his muscular arms around Lellie’s little body. “I’ve already got my hands full.”

I rolled my eyes and stumbled after him, yanking Lellie’s two suitcases and leaving the rest for another trip. When Dev walked through the large open doorway to the barn, I finally realized what was going on. There was no house visible out the other end of the large structure, only a horse ring and paddocks.

“Wait. You live in a barn?”

“Mm-hm.”

He moved down the aisle, across a wooden-slatted floor scattered with fresh straw. The old, familiar scents of horse and hay filled my nostrils. Curious noses poked out from above stall doors and peered in our direction.

“Nothing to see here, ladies,” Dev called softly before we turned left through a doorway and began climbing a narrow wooden staircase.

I yanked the giant bags up behind me as best I could, straining my shoulders and arms while trying not to make enough noise to wake Lellie.

When we got to the top of the stairs, Dev opened a door that led into a residential space. I immediately noticed the cleaner air, thanks to a cool mountain breeze blowing through several open windows. The apartment was small but quaint and comfortable. The living space, kitchen area, and a dining table—currently in use as a desk—were all in one big open room with large windows on two sides and french doors opening to a balcony on one end. Through the french doors was a jaw-dropping view of the mountains set off with fading pinkish-purple streaks. I wondered what the sunset would have looked like if we’d gotten here even twenty minutes earlier.

On the opposite end from the balcony was an open doorway that seemed to lead to a bedroom.

Thankfully, the sofa in the living area was extra long and deep. It wasn’t the ideal place to sleep after the hellish day I’d had, but it would be way better than a hard, wooden floor.

“Where do you want me to put Lellie’s bags?” I asked, trying to keep things friendly. While I felt incredibly territorial about Katie’s daughter, I definitely didn’t want to run the risk of angering him and possibly even getting kicked out of his place.

Legally, Lellie was Dev’s. Once he fully understood that, he would realize he didn’t need to allow me access to her, much less a place to stay.

He tilted his head toward the bedroom. “In there, if you can find room.”

I pulled the bags into the bedroom and flicked on the light. The space smelled like a mix of clean laundry, sandalwood cologne, and the faintest remnant of horse and hay from downstairs. A faded quilt lay neatly spread on a queen-sized bed. Strangely, the rest of the fittings and furnishings looked incredibly high-end, like the ranch owner had brought in a professional decorator to fix it up, not as a place for a drifter cowboy with shallow pockets to hang his hat but for a gentleman rancher who enjoyed equestrian sport and could afford to pursue it in luxury.

Dev had lucked into a good situation here, and it made me even more curious about what his income was like. I couldn’t help but wonder about the Fletcher family, too, if they could afford this type of stuff but still chose to pay Dev under the table for his work on the ranch.

I wheeled the cases to an empty corner and laid them down before returning to fetch the rest of our things. As I passed back through the main room, I realized it was decorated in the same high-end way. Stainless steel appliances in the small kitchen area and high-quality furnishings throughout.

“It’s a nice place,” I said, finding him ensconced in an oversized leather chair next to the sofa with Lellie still sacked out on his chest. “Thanks for letting us… me … stay.”

He glanced at me as if to assess whether I was speaking the truth or not, and then he reluctantly nodded an acknowledgment. I rolled my eyes once I was safely in the stairwell on my way to get the rest of our things.

It was going to be a long night.

Three hours later, Dev was still sitting in the leather chair, but now his eyes were closed, his head was resting on Lellie’s, and a steady, light snore was coming from his direction. I’d stashed the rest of the luggage away in a corner, kicked off my shoes, helped myself to a glass of water, and taken a spot on the sofa to catch up on work emails on my laptop. Thankfully, Dev’s Wi-Fi password had been scribbled on a piece of scratch paper on the side of the fridge.

If I glanced at Dev from time to time, it was only to check on Lellie. Not to drink in the sight of the man, assess his face for clues as to what he’d been doing the past two years, or admire the way his work-callused hands remained gentle as they periodically smoothed down his daughter’s back or brushed sweat-damp curls from her neck or forehead.

It was after midnight, and I knew if Lellie woke up, we’d all be up for hours, trying to get her resettled. I’d considered encouraging Dev to wake her when we’d arrived—she needed to eat and get changed into pajamas at the very least—but I hadn’t had the heart. The break from her screaming, coupled with the heart-clenching image of a father holding his child for the first time, had combined to make the decision fairly easy.

But now, all I could do was wait for the inevitable moment when all hell broke loose.

It happened at almost one in the morning. I caught her opening one eye and glancing around without moving her head. A telltale crinkle formed on her forehead a split second before she let out a whimper. I leaned forward to try and get her attention before she screamed and woke up Dev, but it didn’t work.

He jumped at the sound of her cry. The panic on his face before he realized what was happening was startling.

“Baby, baby,” he said quickly in a sleep-roughened voice. “It’s okay, sweetheart. D-Dev’s here.”

I wondered at his avoidance of the other D-word. Was he going to claim her, to be her father? His shocked terror at first seeing her suggested no , but his insistence on her staying at his place and the way he’d held her tenderly since we’d arrived said yes. I wished I could peer into his brain and know what he was thinking.

Frankly, I wasn’t sure which outcome I was hoping for. I definitely didn’t want her to be raised in her grandfather’s church against all of Katie’s hopes and wishes unless it was absolutely necessary. I wanted Dev to be the kind of man who’d do right by Lellie. But I wasn’t convinced he was.

Lellie struggled to get out from his hold and finally slithered down off his lap, leaving only one tiny hand on his knee. “Mama,” she said clearly.

Dev’s face fell. “Mama’s not here, baby.” He glanced up at me. “But Tully’s here. You know Tully, right?”

I set the laptop aside and held out my arms. “I’m here, Lellie. Are you hungry? Do you want some apples?” Offering her a favorite might have been a dirty trick if her favorite didn’t happen to currently be a healthy choice.

Her face screwed up as she sniffed. “Ap-puh?” Then she nodded and toddled into my arms.

Dev shot me a worried look. “I don’t think I have any fresh apples. Just throwaway ones for the horses downstairs.”

“They’re in the fridge. I unpacked our cooler earlier. There’s also some leftover chicken and pasta in a plastic container. Can you microwave it a bit while I change her diaper?”

He looked a little spooked, like I was speaking another language, but he nodded and moved to the kitchen. I found the blue backpack that held her changing supplies and laid her out on a blanket on the sofa to change her. Once she was in soft pajamas and a clean diaper, I set her down and pointed to where Dev was spooning out food onto a paper plate.

“You hungry? Dev has dinner for you.”

She hesitated before toddling over toward him. “Ap-puh?”

He squatted down and handed her an apple slice. “Here’s an apple to start with.”

She kept her eyes on him while she shoved the slice into her mouth and chewed. I moved to the kitchen before rinsing out and refilling her water bottle and setting it on the kitchen table at the place I’d made for her earlier.

Lellie made her way over and let me set her in the chair.

“Clever,” Dev said, nodding to the stack of towels I’d stolen from the bathroom earlier to form a makeshift booster seat. “I guess I need to get a few things.”

He set the plate in front of her, along with a fork. I quickly grabbed the fork and replaced it with a spoon. “We don’t need her scratching your boss’s nice table,” I muttered under my breath.

I felt Dev’s eyes on me, but I ignored them. “I didn’t bring the travel crib thing. I figured we’d be staying at a hotel and they’d have one. We’ll have to make her some kind of bed tonight, and then tomorrow?—”

“She can sleep with me for tonight,” he said. “I have extra pillows. I’ll make a little barricade or something to keep her from falling out.”

“You can definitely try that,” I said dubiously. “I’m afraid it’s going to be hard to get her back down after this.”

He gazed at her, as if studying her features for more clues to her heritage. I wondered if he noticed she had Katie’s dimple or her turned-up nose. I wondered if he cared.

“She’ll do fine,” he said firmly.

Famous last words.