Chapter 4

FOUR

DEV

I stared after them in shock for several moments until I realized everyone around me was talking at once. I focused on Silas. He knew me well enough to know how hard the news would hit me.

The only problem was he hadn’t known I was a father.

To be fair, I hadn’t been certain, either… and I hadn’t wanted to be. Only my friend Katie and possibly my assistant, Kenji, who I’d asked to coordinate certain legal aspects of the matter, would have known for sure whether my “contribution” had resulted in a child.

My child.

“Dev, take a breath,” Silas said. I could tell by the tone of his voice it wasn’t the first time he’d said it.

“I’m breathing. Jesus,” I said, sucking in a giant gulp of air.

“Who was that man? Do we know him?”

I loved that Silas assumed anyone I knew would be someone he would know also. I shook my head. “He’s from Texas. Friends with Katie.”

The brotherhood knew about Katie. They knew she and I had been close in high school, that she’d helped me find a way to afford Yale, and that I’d stayed with her for a few nights when my parents wouldn’t let me in their house after Matt died.

“That… that little girl looked like you, Dev,” Silas said hesitantly.

“Yeah,” I croaked.

She really did. She had my eyes. She had my hair. And seeing her—my “contribution” to help Katie achieve her dream of motherhood, my payback for all the ways Katie had helped me—had suddenly morphed into an actual, tangible human being.

My daughter .

Good god.

I felt everyone’s eyes on me. The loud music seemed to batter my skull, and the few sips of margarita I drank earlier sat like a boulder on my stomach.

“We can’t just let them go,” Silas added. “If that’s your daughter…”

I heard Foster curse before he took off after them in the crowd. Foster was protective of people he perceived as family, and I was definitely one of those people. He would scare the hell out of that poor child if she saw him chasing them across Poke Street, not to mention Tully?—

“ Dammit ,” I said, turning and racing after them. When I caught up with Foster, I barked at him to let me handle it.

“Like hell I will,” he said, barely slowing down.

I grabbed his arm and glared at him. “Back off, Sheriff. This is my private business.”

His eyes narrowed. I could tell he wanted to argue with me, to protect me and support me, but he also knew me well enough to know privacy was important to me.

His jaw clenched. “You text me to tell me you’re okay. You hear?”

I reluctantly nodded before I picked up speed again in the direction of the little girl’s shrieking.

When I finally found them, I only saw Tully’s shapely ass in a pair of stylish suit pants as he was bent over trying to strap the little girl into a car seat. Her screams didn’t let up.

“T-Tully, wait,” I said, reaching out to touch him but pulling my hand back before I could. Saying his name out loud for the first time since that night felt strange.

He straightened up and banged his head on the doorframe. When he turned around to face me, his eyes were red-rimmed and wet, his hair disheveled.

I stepped closer and reached out to cup his head where he’d hit it. “Take a breath,” I said without thinking. It was something Katie’s grandmother had always said in situations like this one—a reminder not to say something you’d regret in the moment of pain.

Tully’s chin trembled, but his eyes glared at me, the same bright, vibrant eyes that had attracted me from across the room two years ago. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” I said softly. “You’re hurt.”

He jerked out of my grasp and nearly banged his head again. The little girl continued screaming. He turned back to her. “I know, baby. Here. Take another sip of water. That’s it.” She took a sip but then pulled her head away and cried even louder. Scrambling to figure out what else he could offer her, Tully yanked a well-loved stuffed horse out of a backpack. “Here. Here’s Trigger. You love Trigger.”

The horse seemed to calm her down immediately until all that was left were a few hiccups.

But I had the opposite reaction as I stared at the stuffed animal. Katie had named her baby’s toy after my horse. The gesture clutched at my heart.

“Where’s Katie?” I asked, knowing deep down he wouldn’t be here without Katie herself unless something terrible had happened.

A tear ran down his cheek, followed by another. It took all of my self-control not to wipe them off his face. “I’m sorry.”

I felt my back teeth grind together as my nose began to sting. “How?” I managed to ask.

He grimaced and shook his head as if he didn’t want to tell me.

“How?” I asked again, dreading the truth.

“Car accident,” he whispered.

I tilted my head back and squeezed my eyes closed. My mother’s words came back to me from the aftermath of my brother’s accident.

This is your fault, Devon. If you hadn’t bought Matt that car. If you hadn’t let him go out. This is all your fault.

I had tried not to believe her, of course. My friends, if not my rational brain, had explained that he’d made his own choices that night—choices that had included drinking and driving—but now, hearing that someone else I’d loved had died the same way… it was hard not to think fate was trying to tell me something.

“When?” I asked.

Tully’s hand absently brushed damp curls from the girl’s face. “Four nights ago. She was driving home from the airport, from a business trip, and another vehicle swerved into her, knocking her car into a barricade. At least, that’s what witnesses said. She… she died instantly.”

The raw grief in his voice drove the truth home, and I felt my tears come. I wanted to run. I wanted to race back to the barn and lock myself away so I could mourn the loss of my friend. Of another part of my past.

But I stayed where I was, tethered in place by the small being in the back seat.

“What’s her name?” I breathed, nodding in the little girl’s direction.

Tully’s face softened. He turned to unbuckle her and pulled her out of the seat to rest on his hip. With his fingertip, he gently lifted her chin. “Eleanor Kathryn Scott, meet Devon McKay,” he said in a gentle tone. His eyes met mine. “We call her Lellie.”

She had Katie’s button nose and the same little divot of concentration between her tiny eyebrows.

“Hi, Lellie,” I said softly. “I’m…” I swallowed around a lump. “I’m Dev. Can I…” Emotion swamped me. I took a breath and tried again. “Can I hold you, sweetheart?”

I reached out my hands to her. Tully and I both held our breath as she considered it for a beat. But then she turned and buried her face in Tully’s neck.

I closed my eyes and ducked my head. Her reaction wasn’t surprising—weren’t babies, like horses, supposed to sense which people were the right ones to care for them?—but it was disappointing.

Suddenly, a warm hand grasped mine and pulled it up to rest on Lellie’s back. I opened my eyes to see Tully’s apologetic expression.

“Don’t take it personally. It’s a phase,” he said. “And she’s exhausted from a very long day.”

“And she probably misses…” Her mom , I mouthed.

He bit his lip and nodded. “She’s had a rough week.”

I got the sense that was an understatement, for both of them.

I rubbed Lellie’s little back through the soft cotton of her yellow T-shirt. She sucked in a shaking breath and let it out. I couldn’t imagine what the past few days had been like for her. My heart broke all over again as the reality of her loss hit me.

“Oh god.” I met Tully’s eyes. “Who’s going to…?”

But I was pretty sure I had an idea, and he confirmed it a moment later.

“That’s why I’m here,” he said carefully. I could tell by his expression it was a complicated issue, but he wouldn’t have traveled all this way with her if I wasn’t at least partially responsible for the girl— Lellie— moving forward.

Anxiety spiked through me, making my heart beat faster, but I kept my voice calm. “We have a lot to talk about, I imagine,” I said.

Tully nodded. The motion revealed Lellie was falling asleep on his chest.

“You’d better come to the ranch.” I nodded toward the car seat and waited for him to buckle her in before asking. “Do you want me to drive or navigate?”

He turned to me in surprise. “Didn’t you drive here yourself?”

I shook my head. “I rode with friends.”

He hesitated before handing me the keys. “If you don’t mind.”

I got into the driver’s seat and buckled up without letting on how relieved I was at Tully’s decision to allow me to drive. I didn’t usually do well with other people driving me, but it was something I was actively working on.

As we pulled out of town, I glanced at him. His hands were fisted on his lap and his gaze fixed out the window. With his hair mussed, his shoulders slumped, and his expensive button-down wrinkled to hell and covered in any number of unidentifiable stains, it was clear he was out of his element… and that he’d been through the wringer today.

“How did you get picked to bring Lellie?” I finally asked.

He exhaled as if he’d been waiting for the question. “I’m Katie’s attorney,” he said tightly. “I wrote her will.”

I knew Katie was… had been … an attorney and that she and Tully had been coworkers, but it was clear from his earlier tears and the way he knew Lellie that they’d been friends, too. “I’m sorry for your loss. I know she thought highly of you.”

He nodded but remained silent, discouraging any further discussion on the topic.

Because I understood that feeling all too well, I didn’t press.

The sun was setting behind the peaks of Three Daughters, sending golden light across the summer pastures. This was my favorite time of day. I rolled down the windows, and the scent of wildflowers and green grasses, pine and sage billowed in on the breeze.

Tully closed his eyes and inhaled. “It’s beautiful here.”

“Prettiest place I’ve ever been,” I agreed.

“That what brought you?” he asked suddenly. “Looking for a pretty place to stay awhile?”

“No.” I frowned. “A friend needed help. So I came.”

He was quiet for a minute. Then, “The sheriff, you mean.”

I glanced over at him. “No, the other guy.” My lips twitched. “The one who looked like a feral hellcat ready to strike.”

Tully didn’t say anything, but for some reason, I suddenly couldn’t shut up.

“His name is Silas. We went to college together. He accidentally married a cowboy and called me in to help last summer on the cowboy’s family ranch.”

His head turned at this. “Accidentally?”

“Long story.”

“And you stayed?” His eyes fixed on me. “You settled down?”

I shrugged. “Didn’t really have a place to go back to. Besides, I like it here. It’s nice and quiet. Plenty of room to be by myself.”

I sensed the tension in his body. “So you prefer to be by yourself?”

Since I hadn’t been born yesterday, I knew this wasn’t a casual question, and I merely grunted in response.

The truth was, I did like being by myself… mostly. And the alternative—the crushing disappointment of letting down someone who relied on me, of not being enough for someone I loved—was terrifying.

I had my brotherhood and other friends, like Foster and Jo Blake, who understood my boundaries. They loved me but allowed me privacy and a small amount of necessary distance. I had no plans to change that.

A small movement in the rearview mirror caught my attention, and when I looked up, I saw Lellie, still fast asleep with her head tilted uncomfortably to one side. Her wispy ringlets danced in the blowing wind.

But sometimes things don’t go according to plan , a voice that sounded like Katie’s reminded me.

“What do you, ah… what do you do for work?” Tully asked.

The awkward attempt at small talk was at least better than talking about Katie’s passing or the orphaned daughter she’d left behind, and I seized on it gratefully.

“I oversee a breeding program at a horse ranch. Silas’s husband Way’s ranch.”

“Is… that what you studied in college? Animal husbandry?”

I glanced over at him and registered a discomfort I hadn’t noticed before. “No. I studied business in college,” I said, being deliberately vague. I’d learned a long time ago that mentioning Yale to someone I didn’t know well was like dropping a bomb into a conversation. It had a tendency to change things, especially if the person didn’t know me very well.

“I guess a horse breeding program is a business,” he ventured, as if trying to connect the dots.

“I grew up around horses,” I said finally. I didn’t owe him an explanation, but for some reason, I didn’t want him to think I was completely inexperienced at what I did. “More accurately, I grew up working on a ranch. They bred quarter horses used in ranch work. I guess I got the animal husbandry vibe there.”

Tully nodded and turned back to the window, but there was still a coiled tension in his body that was hard to read.

“What about you?” I asked after an awkward moment of silence. “What kind of law do you practice?”

“Trusts and estates, mostly. I do some real estate work as well if my clients need it. Contract review, too, from time to time.”

“Sounds… lucrative,” I said for lack of anything better. It sounded boring as hell, to be honest, but I didn’t want to offend him.

“It is. Stable, too.” Tully straightened slightly and smoothed a hand down the remains of his crumpled dress shirt. His voice was a little starchier as he added, “I’m very grateful for my position at Dunlevy, Pace, and Trumble.”

“Glad to hear it.” It took all kinds, I supposed.

He hesitated. “What about horse breeding? Does it, um… pay well?”

Ah . This wasn’t “small talk” but an interrogation into what kind of life I had, what kind of financial stability I might be able to provide for Lellie. For my… daughter.

Disappointment flared hot in my gut. I’d hoped… well, I guess I’d hoped Tully was actually trying to get to know me. That the one night we’d spent together had been decent enough to make him give a shit about me as a person.

The encounter had stayed with me for a long time and kept me company through hundreds of lonely nights. I’d had fantasies about Tully Bowman—imagined what it would have been like if I could have pursued something real with him if he hadn’t been so closely tied to the life I’d had to leave behind. But it looked like that was well in the past for him and nowhere near his radar now.

The man was here for one reason and one reason only: to judge me on behalf of a little girl I’d never met and hadn’t even known existed. And it seemed like Tully Bowman was eager to find me wanting.

Which, let’s be honest, wouldn’t be that difficult.