Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

Gabriel stared at his desk, watching as Marcel crawled in circles over his ledger book. The girls had forgotten the small bee and its box in his office again. Then he glanced up at the clock on the mantel and checked it against his timepiece.

He couldn’t tell which was correct.

“Damn it,” he muttered.

How long did a one-winged bumblebee live without its hive?

He pushed his hair back from his face, wincing as he brushed against the cut against his brow, then reached for the pile of ledgers. Numbers were what he needed to sort out his mind. Numbers were logical.

What was not logical was how yesterday he was about to ask for Kate’s hand in marriage, and now the man who ruined her reputation was speaking with her in his castle.

But this always had to be the ending, didn’t it?

Kate arrived from London seeking employment to weather out a scandal. He had supplied her with a position and paid her accordingly. It was as simple as that. She was the family’s governess.

But she was a horrible governess, and he had recognized that. She had a mind for business and had made excellent progress sorting out the disaster Tavish left behind. And the attraction he felt for her was nothing, fleeting.

It could never have amounted to anything when she wished only for a position. She needed him and succeeded in finding what she needed, and now she would leave.

As it should be.

What else did he have to offer her?

“We have guests, Brother. Are ye goin’ to hide away in here?”

He shook his head, avoiding his sister’s glare. It was no use. He felt it rake over his body, searing as coals, nevertheless. It was equally as damning as if he lifted his head and looked her in the eyes. “I dinna intend to. Business here first.”

“That the same business that ended with the Campbell brothers laid out last evening?”

He rolled his shoulders, his body stiff, then found the nerve to meet his sister’s disgusted stare. “What do ye want?”

Elsie crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway. “It’s been some time since we’ve been together, but I still ken ye and that dead, empty stare ye get in yer eyes when ye’re feelin’ a wee bit sorry for yerself. Ye’re about to make a mistake ye willna be able to fix, ye stubborn arse.”

He hadn’t made one mistake. There had been several large mistakes since he arrived in Scotland. And it all rested on him because he was normally much more careful.

“I dinna ken what ye mean.”

“Considering yer face, I dinna agree. Be kind to her. It’s no’ as if Kate wished them to come.”

But they had.

Her family had arrived, requesting she return to England, and given the marquess’s presence, he had one guess as to why.

He had been foolish to think Kate would remain in Scotland when accepting the governess position had only been an escape from her old life. And now that they wished for her back, what was Gabriel supposed to do ?

He gave a curt nod before digging through his desk for another cigar, not paying attention to Elsie cursing his name and spinning out of view or Oscar trotting in a few minutes later.

Gabriel could feel her before she even stood before him, like a skipping stone sending ripples out against a mirror-smooth loch.

When he didn’t greet her, Kate softly shut the door behind her. She remained with her back against the wall for a moment, studying him. It was worse than the few punches that landed last evening. Those gray eyes of hers filled with contempt and desperation, and his chest ached far too much to make this conversation last any longer than it must.

“Did you win?”

“Naught to win.” He grabbed his unlit cigar and toyed with the end, contemplating whether he should light it or pace the room. Or better yet, cradle her face in his hands and kiss her until she remembered what they had discovered together.

“There is plenty.” She swallowed, then pointed toward the cut on his brow. “That likely needs stitches.”

“I’m fine.”

“You are a beast,” she snapped back. “You could have hurt yourself last evening. You went up against the Campbell brothers alone?”

His mouth soured, that familiar panic returning. He could have been hurt, and he had been in a state where he could have done something dangerous. Everything suddenly was slipping out of his control, and he didn’t want to lose her.

But that would be for the best.

“I’m a lot of things, Kate, but primarily yer employer. Yer parents have asked for ye to return with them to London, and the carriage is leaving in an hour.”

She stormed up to his desk and nearly growled.

Something in his chest ripped apart at the sound. At her hurt.

“I have done nothing wrong.”

“Ye shouldna stay here. Yer family wishes ye to be back with them.”

“What if I don’t wish to return with them?”

“Then where will ye go? ”

“Go?” Her voice trailed off before she rested her palms against his desk. “I didn’t realize I needed to go anywhere.”

“If ye return to London,” he said clearing his throat, “and marry him, ye’ll have what ye wanted. He’s a good match.”

Kate drew back and scoffed. “You think I should marry him?”

Gabriel didn’t budge. He didn’t reach for her, didn’t try to erase the space between them. He barely blinked even as he saw the tears well in her hurt-filled eyes.

“That’s what you wish, Gabe? For me to leave?”

Not for all the world, but it would be easier if she left. Not at first. At first, he bet he could barely breathe, like now, staring her down coolly on the opposite side of his desk.

But in time, if she remained, Kate would only grow to resent him.

And then he would leave her far too early, and she would sure as hell curse the day he was born for leaving her all alone in the Highlands, hundred of miles away from her friends and family in a drafty old castle.

“If ye dinna ken by now what ye want, I canna stop ye. Go ahead to London, marry the marquess, and be a coward.”

“A coward?”

“A coward because ye refuse to stand up and do as ye wish.”

She crossed her arms. Tears sat on her cheeks even as her temper won out. “How do you know what I wish? How do you know I have not left behind what I didn’t wish for?”

“It isna here, and it isna with me. I canna give ye fine London Seasons or…”

“You gave me a new cooking range!” She pinched her brow, exasperated. “And so much more. Do you not know…” Kate paused, drawing back a step. “I arrived alone here. I have made this castle a home, and I have filled it with love. For you. Because of you, Gabe. That took far more courage than you could ever imagine.”

He had been fooling himself all along to believe he could marry her—because she was right—she had given herself over to the MacInnes and the Dunsmuir estate without ever asking anything in return .

“You’re afraid, darling. I understand. I do.” She wiped at her cheeks and sighed. “I am trying to tell you if you only listen that I don’t want to leave. I want to stay here with you?—”

But that wouldn’t be fair.

“Scotland was never going to be yer home. This was never meant to be yer life. Ye ran here and now ye can run back to London and make yer family happy by marrying the marquess.”

“Will you stop saying that? I don’t want to marry the marquess or return with my parents. I have found a place here at Dunsmuir with you, and the girls, and Elsie. I have worked tirelessly to reopen the inn and sort out matters for the distillery. And you think I wish to leave all that behind?”

“Ye achieved what ye sought. And now ye can leave.”

“I can’t believe this. You truly believe I am remaining here out of obligation? Obligation to whom?”

When he didn’t answer, she rubbed her arms as he remained cold and distant.

She was clever and far too kind and spirited to leave her to the same fate as his mother. He had hated watching the life slowly fade from her eyes over the years as she grew more and more isolated, shutting herself away to wallow in her grief.

“That is all? I am to leave then because my parents wish me to?”

“Ye must. Ye canna remain here. I am letting ye go, and I thank ye for yer services.”

Kate backed away toward the door, wiping once more at her eyes. “Very well.” She rested her hand against her chest. “But don’t you dare call me a coward. I thought you at least cared for me, recognized I was brave enough to live every day, which is more than I can say for you. You wish to prove you can accomplish so much and keep everything so well locked away. But you will end up with nothing. The only person you are trying to prove is worthy is yourself, and I can’t make you believe that. You have to believe that for yourself.”

She slipped out the door leaving Gabriel at his desk. After a minute, or maybe several, he leaned forward and rested his head on his outstretched arm, swallowing back a scream and the urge not to clear his desk with the sweep of his hand.

Let her leave.

Her heart would be much better off far away from Scotland, even if his was now shattered.