Chapter 28

Renee didn't know where Declan had taken off to, but she'd given up on him coming home to read or watch TV with her. She sighed and reminded herself this wasn't his home. Not really. She looked at the books Chloe dropped off. She'd pulled them out and gave them a once-over. Without having some idea of what Chloe thought was wrong, she'd have to give them real attention.

Tonight wasn't the night for that.

She poured herself a glass of wine and bought the next book for book club. She'd spent so much time reading with Declan that she was behind for book club. She had a little more than a week to get it read. It was enough time as long as Declan didn't distract her.

She decided to go sit in the yard since it was a gorgeous warm evening. There wouldn't be too many more days like this.

Sitting on the back porch, she considered grabbing one of the kitchen chairs. Furnishing her yard hadn't been a priority. She made a mental note to look around for some used patio furniture because she could get used to this. Taking a deep breath full of fall air, she closed her eyes and leaned against the house.

She sipped from her glass and opened the book. She barely got a page in when the back door slid open, and Declan walked out.

"Hey," she said.

"What are you doing out here? I figured you'd be in bed."

"Not yet. It's beautiful out and I wanted to enjoy the warm weather."

He looked pointedly at her ereader. "Are you reading without me?"

"Not the book we're reading. Book club is next week, so I'm starting that."

"Without me? Just gonna not include me in book club?"

"I didn't think you were really interested in book club."

He plopped down beside her. "I don't want to intrude since it's your night with your friends, but I like it because you're there."

She ducked her head and smiled.

"So what's this one about?"

"I have no idea. I'm on page one."

He scooted closer, his arm around her, and kissed her cheek. "Cool. Get started."

His breath on her neck was distracting, so she forced her eyes back to the screen. She started reading and Declan put a hand on the ereader.

"Wait a minute. Where's the duke or earl or whatever?"

"No dukes this time. This one is contemporary not historical."

"So like now. With people like you and me."

"Yep."

"So they're gonna be banging early on."

She slid him a look. "Maybe. Maybe not." In her head, she scrambled to remember what the book was about. Sometimes what they chose bordered on erotica. "I guess we'll see."

"I missed you tonight," he murmured.

"Where'd you go?"

"I went to see Ronan and then my mom."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Pretty good actually."

He laid a hand on her thigh, and she half-expected him to make a move. But he leaned against the house and closed his eyes as she began to read.

Declan's fingers traced random patterns on her leg. The rhythm of the movements along with the cool breeze and the wine she'd consumed made for one very relaxed Renee. She was very glad they were at the beginning of the book because chapter one reminded her why Zenia had chosen this book. It was gonna get steamy.

At the end of the chapter, she set the book aside.

"That's it?"

She turned to face him. "It's late."

"When's book club?" His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Next week." They were practically nose to nose and their quiet voices created a bubble of intimacy.

"Not a lot of time to read."

"It's not a long book."

"I don't want you to go inside yet."

"Why not?"

"Because then you'll go to your room and I'll be in my bed all alone."

"We can't spend the night out here."

"But we can make out for a little bit."

She raised a brow.

He grinned. "We're outside. Sadie's not here."

"What are you, king of the loophole?"

"When it works to my advantage. Come here."

He reached behind her, across her hip, and pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him.

She had to admit that was impressive.

"You like that, huh?"

"Maybe."

"I got some other tricks I can show you, too." He tugged her hips closer so she was fully notched against him, the movement causing a zing of pleasure to shoot through her body.

Her breath caught. His right hand caressed her jaw and his fingers threaded through her hair before pulling her in for a kiss. As their lips met, gently, Declan's left hand cruised across her body: squeezing her hip, palming her ass, sliding up her shirt to pinch her nipple.

What started as a sweet kiss quickly morphed into a hot exploration. He had the power to take her from zero to needy in seconds. He pulled his mouth away to kiss her jaw, her ear. Then his hot mouth was her pulse point on her neck.

Her thighs tightened and she thrust her hips forward, seeking relief. His groan rumbled against her neck and a jolt of need rippled through her. She rocked a couple more times and then forced herself back.

Leaning her forehead against his, she whispered, "This is a bad idea. You keep luring me to break the rules."

"Rules are meant to be broken."

"Not when my kid's involved." She shifted to get off him, but he held tight.

His grin slipped and his face grew serious. "I'm gonna say this again, and I need you to hear me. I will. Not. Hurt. Sadie."

God, she wanted to believe him. "I know you won't intend to. I can't take that chance."

"Yet."

When she tried to pull away again, he tugged her closer. "Just stay a little bit longer. Let me hold you."

At her look, he added, "It'll stay totally PG."

She slid off his lap and curled next to him, resting her head on his shoulder. His arm came around her shoulder and held her close.

They sat like that, cuddled together for a few minutes. Then she said, "You never talk about your dad. Why not?"

"Not much to say. He disappeared—died—when I was little."

"Do you remember him?"

"Yeah. As much as a little kid would."

"Tell me what you remember."

"Why?"

She looked up into his eyes. "You've been living here for more than a month. I've been leaning on you this whole time. You're dealing with this stuff with your dad. Even if you pretend it's not affecting you. Maybe if you think about some of the good times, you won't be so angry."

"I'm not angry."

"Yes, you are." She sighed, giving up, and lay her head back on his shoulder, because even if he wasn't going to open up, sitting like this with him felt really good.

Another few minutes passed. Renee closed her eyes and let the warmth of Declan's arms lull her.

"He was a do-er."

Renee opened her eyes but didn't move.

"Anytime something needed to be done, he was there." He got quiet again. "One time, I wanted a race track for my cars and he spent a whole Sunday morning building me one out of scrap material he had laying around."

She imagined little Declan racing Hot Wheels with a man she would never get to meet.

"Mostly I remember he loved my mom. He was always touching her. Walk through the kitchen and kiss her cheek. Slide a hand around her waist while she was standing at the washer. They were always kissing. As a kid, I thought it was gross. Parents, you know?"

Renee chuckled.

"But even though it was gross, I still knew he loved her. Like he would do anything for her. She would look at something that needed to be done and before she could say anything or even think about doing it herself, he was there."

"Because he was a do-er."

"You're right about me being mad. I'm not now, but I was for a long time. I thought he left because of us. He loved my mom. I never thought he'd leave her. So when he was gone, I was just mad. If we knew he died, it would've been different."

Her heart broke for that little boy.

"I never wanted to be like him." His voice was thick as he spoke the last part.

She didn't stir, didn't look at him. She didn't want to break the spell.

"But now." He blew out a heavy breath. "The night he disappeared, he said he was doing a job for Alan Cahill. He'd been working lots of extra jobs because my mom was pregnant again."

"With Nessa?" She didn't think they were that far apart in age.

"No. There was going to be an eighth Doyle. My mom miscarried after my dad disappeared. None of us knew. Mom just told us when all this came to light. Everything he did was for his family."

"He sounds like a good man."

"I'm finding that to be true. I have a whole life of ideas that are changing."

"Change can be good."

Renee sat up and stretched. "I need to get to bed."

"Party pooper."

"You're the one who stayed out late."

He stood and reached down for her hand. He tugged her up quickly, causing her to crash into him. It gave him another reason to wrap his arms around her.

"This was fun," she said.

"Fun for who? I have an unresolved hard-on and spilled my emotional guts like a pre-teen girl."

She laughed. "The hard-on is your fault for trying to bend the rules. But the second part? I like that you talked to me about your dad."

She kissed his cheek. "Good night."

When she turned and bent to grab her wine glass and ereader, he smacked her very fine ass. When she glared at him, he said, "Couldn't help myself."

"Hmm-mm. See you tomorrow."

After she went inside, he stayed on the porch for a bit. His brain was swirling with too many things. Coming back home and reading with Renee was supposed to give him a break. And for a little bit, it did.

Then she had to ask about his dad. As if Ronan and Mom hadn't given him enough to think about. But surprisingly, he did feel better.

He couldn't remember a time he thought about good times or happy memories when it came to his dad. Renee had been right. He had been angry. Now he didn't know how to feel.

Turning back to the house, he looked at it and considered everything he'd told his mom. He wanted this. Change was good. Now he just had to prove to Renee that change was good for her too.