Chapter 23

"I can't believe you fucked my sister," Tyler said again. "I didn't ask you to stay here to take advantage of her."

Declan barely suppressed the chuckle. "Do you honestly think anyone could take advantage of Renee?"

"She's just getting her life back. She doesn't need another dude to screw it up."

"I would never screw anything up for her. Besides, she ended it. It was a weekend. She made it clear she doesn't want more."

Tyler's stare burned into him. "What the fuck?" he ground out.

Declan looked up. "What?"

"Did you fucking fall in love with my sister?"

Declan couldn't tell if it was disgust or horror tinging his friend's words. He lifted a shoulder. "I care about her. And without going into detail, we're good together."

"She's not ready for anything, and if she was, she'd be looking for something serious. Someone who'd stick."

Declan took a swig of beer, swallowing down his anger. "So I'm not good enough for her?" He nodded.

"I love you, man. But she's my sister and she's been through enough shit with Graham."

"Do not compare me to him."

Tyler huffed. "I know you're not like him. But you've never done any relationship. She needs someone stable who will put in the work. You run at the hint of commitment."

"People change."

Tyler opened his mouth again, but Renee came back with containers of food and handed them to Ronan. Declan grabbed the last of the power tools and carried them to Ronan's truck. They said their goodbyes and he took off.

When he came back to Tyler and Renee, they were talking quietly, so he took a wide curve around them. But he caught her muttering, "I don't need you to police me."

Declan smirked. He almost felt sorry for Ty. With his beer in hand, he walked over the grass to make sure they didn't miss anything.

"What are you doing?" Renee asked.

He looked up to see Tyler was gone. "Ty leave?"

"Yeah."

"Is he really pissed?"

"No. He's worried. As if I can't take care of myself. I used to take care of him."

"He thinks I'm going to mess you up."

Her gaze held his for a minute before breaking away. But in that moment, he saw that she cared, too. They had more than great sex.

Pointing at the ground, she asked, "So what are you doing?"

"Making sure we didn't drop screws or pieces of wood that Sadie can get hurt on." He resumed his slow walk across the yard, scanning for small bits of danger.

She stepped next to him, head down.

"What happened between you and Graham?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Tyler compared me to him in a not-so-subtle way."

She shook her head. "Don't listen to him."

He paused and touched her arm. When she looked up, she heaved a sigh.

"When Graham and I met, we were young. He was a lot of fun. Even when we first got married and started building a life, it was light and fun. But when I mentioned buying a house, he kept saying we had time. There was no rush to dive into having a mortgage."

Declan resumed his study of the ground as she talked.

"Looking back now, I can clearly see how Graham was only invested in us in the way it made him feel. When I got pregnant with Sadie, at first, he was shocked. We hadn't been trying. I was thrilled. I figured my happiness would spill over. To a certain extent, it did."

"I'm not gonna like where this goes, am I?"

"He's not a monster if that's what you're thinking. He loves Sadie. But he never changed. Having a kid is supposed to change you, right? I mean, there's this whole other human who's completely dependent on you. You can't come first anymore. It was never like that for Graham. For a long time, I thought it was because he was the dad. She didn't grow inside him, didn't bond with her the way I did.

"But he was still living his life. He missed having fun. I was dragging him down because I was so serious. Because I wanted him to step up and be a father."

"Doesn't seem like too much to ask for."

"It obviously was. So, now he gets to be exactly what he always wanted: to be the fun weekend dad. No real responsibilities. He can take her out for fun, feed her crap, and never have to worry about the hard stuff."

Declan took in everything she'd said. "And since I have no responsibilities, you and Ty think I'm the same."

The words burned in his mouth. Yes, he'd chosen to live his life without responsibilities, but he would never abandon his kid. Ty's comment about sticking hit him.

This time, she touched his arm to make him stop. When he looked at her, she said, "I don't think you're like Graham. When you're with Sadie..." She shook her head and looked at the playset. "I know you love her. I know you wouldn't hurt her. Neither would Graham. But being a parent is more than just loving a kid."

"What does that mean for us?"

"There can't be an us. I don't know how to even begin navigating a relationship as a single mom. I don't want Sadie thinking she can count on someone who might disappear from her life."

"I won't."

"Being Uncle Tyler's friend and being Mommy's boyfriend are two different things."

"Yeah. Boyfriends come and go. I'm already more than that." He took her hand. "I don't know anything about being a father. Hell, I barely had one. But for the first time in my life, the idea of responsibility doesn't scare me. Having you rely on me actually feels good. Knowing I can do something for you to make your life easier, gives me a sense of purpose I've never had."

"I'm glad I can count on you. But it'll get old. You've been here for like a month. Having a family is a long-haul adventure."

"Maybe I'm ready for an adventure."

"I don't think I can risk it."

"What can I do to prove to you that I'm worth the risk?"

"It's not you?—"

He dropped her hand. "Fuck no. Do not finish that sentence. We're both better than that."

He stepped back and returned to his search on the ground. "Do you plan on being alone until Sadie is grown?"

"I don't know."

"You deserve better."

"I don't have a plan. I just got to the point that I can even think about dating."

"Yeah. I got that. Online profiles, right? They get a chance, but I don't."

"No, they don't. Deciding to go on a date is for me. Just me. Renee. The woman. Not the mom. Sadie doesn't meet them. They don't get a piece of her."

Suddenly it clicked. She wasn't afraid of Sadie learning to depend on him. She feared for the loss Sadie would feel. He knew better than most what that loss felt like. He also knew there was nothing he could say to convince her he would never do that to Sadie. Or her.

Even if he could prove it to her, should he? Did he really want to? In his own head, he needed to figure out what he wanted. He wasn't sure if he was pushing this to make a point or if he really wanted to be with her.

Instead of continuing to argue, he simply said, "I get it."

But at the same time, his words from last night thundered in his head. I'm not going anywhere. He didn't think he could stay here and watch her start a new life with someone else.

They finished their search of the grass in silence. They found nothing. He should've known that Ronan wouldn't be sloppy. Not in a kid's yard. But he had to be sure for Sadie.

He gathered the last few tools that were sitting out and brought them in the house.

As he washed his hands in the kitchen sink, Renee asked, "You want to order in something for dinner?"

"I'm good. I'm going to hang with my sister. Nessa's been nagging me to go out. You can enjoy some quiet."

"Are we okay?" she asked.

"Yeah."

Her eyes said she didn't believe him.

He inhaled deeply. "I would love to see where this leads. But I understand why you can't. I've never given you reason to think I'm the kind of guy who would step up. Sadie's more important than my desire to be with you. But understand I would never let anything happen to your little girl."

She gave him a tight smile and a nod. "Have fun with your sister."

"Enjoy your night. Do something for you."

He texted Nessa and took a quick shower. She responded with a thumbs up and a link to a bar to meet at. Getting away from the house and being alone with Renee was probably the best decision he'd made all weekend.

Renee opened a bottle of wine and texted her book club friends to see if anyone wanted to come over to hang out. While she waited to see if anyone was free, she sat at the dining room table and scrolled through a few job boards, desperately trying to tune out Declan getting ready to go out. The tension between them was killing her. He was acting like everything was okay, but she didn't believe him.

She knew sleeping together was a mistake.

But she didn't regret it. Wasn't that some stupid shit?

She took another swig of wine. He came from his bedroom wearing jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. A gray Henley. It was like torture. If he pushed the sleeves up, she might start drooling.

This was why sleeping with him was a mistake.

Yet, the fond (oh, so fond!) memories of their weekend were why she couldn't regret it. He cleared his throat and she realized she was staring at his forearms.

"Problem?"

"Nope." She smiled over the rim of her glass. "Just be warned that romance readers you might run into will have thoughts about that shirt."

He ran a slow hand down his torso. "Based on the look on your face, I'm guessing those would be good thoughts?"

"Oh, yeah. The only thing that might get a stronger reaction might be those gray sweatpants you have."

Then he had the nerve to lean on the door frame. Someone had been doing research.

"Huh. So if I want to get laid, I know what to wear."

She nodded. "Yup."

He stepped behind her, lowered himself, and said in a low voice, "Then I guess you know what I'll be wearing when I come home."

She swallowed hard. "I was talking about other women you might meet while you're out."

"Are you saying you're immune? Cuz you're the only one I'm looking to sleep with."

She sucked in a sharp breath. "Declan?—"

He straightened and she knew if she looked over her shoulder, she'd be staring at his crotch.

"Yeah, I know. But if you don't want the truth from me, you shouldn't start."

He was right, but she'd been hoping to get back to normal with him. She twisted in her seat. "I wasn't trying to flirt. I don't like the tension and unease between us."

"No unease, here, babe. But you know what will break the tension. Just tell me when."

"You're relentless."

"Persistent. I like to get my own way. Comes from being the youngest boy in the family. We're a little spoiled."

"Have fun tonight."

"You should, too." He reached over her and closed the laptop. "Do something other than work."

"I texted my book club to see if anyone wanted to come over. I was passing time."

"You can come with me and Nessa if you want. But be warned that she picked the bar we're meeting at."

"I don't need to crash your night out. I'm fine on my own."

"I know you're fine. You have a night off. You should be able to have something more than fine."

Her phone buzzed in quick succession. One after another, her friends let her know they were busy. Nothing like not being able to make last-minute plans to convince Declan she didn't need help.

"Come with me."

She rose, putting space between them. "I don't need a chaperone or a babysitter. I can enjoy myself here."

"But Nessa and I are more fun."

She had never met his sister, but if she was anything like Declan, she would be fun. "I'm not even dressed to go out."

"You look good to me."

She glanced down at her ratty jeans and worn-thin T-shirt.

"But I can wait if you want to change."

Something about the small smile that played on his face made her want to agree. "Are you sure Nessa won't mind?"

"We come from a family with seven kids. We're used to extra people popping up. Why would she care?" He pulled his phone out. "But I'll text her to make sure."

He thumbed a message quickly. "Go change. She'll say it's fine."

Before Renee even had a chance to put her wine glass away, his phone beeped.

"See? It's fine. Her exact words are hell yeah, bring her."

"All right. Give me five minutes." As she rounded the table to walk past him, she said, "Are you sure it's okay?"

He reached over and tugged her closer by the waistband of her jeans. "I like spending time with you. Especially when you let yourself be Renee, the woman. I have a particular fondness for her."

Damn this man. He kept making it hard for her to remember why they couldn't continue to sleep together. She pulled away and tried to give herself all the reasons why she shouldn't go out with Declan and his sister. But having Nessa there wouldn't be like going dancing last night. It would be like hanging out with a group of friends.

And if she were being totally honest with herself, with the exception of the hangover this morning, last night was a ton of fun.

She needed to be herself more. She deserved that.

In her room, she grabbed fresh jeans and her old college sweatshirt. Nothing sexy. She let her hair down, realized it was too wild, and scooped it back up into a neat ponytail. A quick swipe of mascara and lip gloss and she was good. Set for a night out with friends.

Except her plan was foiled when she walked into the living room and Declan looked up from his phone. His gaze traveled all the way up her body like he had x-ray vision. He stopped at her face and the heat in his eyes was undeniable.

"You know advertising you're a smart chick is sexy as fuck, right?"

"I wasn't trying to advertise anything. I chose something comfy and unsexy. I'm trying not to lead you on or give you any ideas."

"Babe. I don't need help with ideas. They're always there." He picked up her car keys. "Let's go."

She wanted to argue about his need to drive considering he didn't have a car. But she liked not having to be in charge of anything for a change. "I can drive."

"I know where we're going."

"I mean, if you want to drink, I can drive home."

"I'll make sure we get back safely."

Something about his assurance whittled its way deep into her chest. She didn't want him to see how it affected her, so she gave him a quick nod and walked out the front door.