25. Georgia

25

Georgia

Now

" T hat's why you left me?" I gasp out, crawling out of his lap and planting myself on the other side of the small sofa. I glare at him as my heart cracks in my chest.

That's why he left me? Because of a fucking nightmare? He left me alone in the world, with a child to raise on my own, because of that?

Not that I knew he was leaving me with a broken heart and a baby.

But still, this entire time, I thought he left me because he had finally realized I was unlovable.

My mother clearly didn't love me enough since she tried to murder me.

My father couldn't love me after my mother succumbed to her own demise by drinking the poisoned lemonade from the cup that was clearly meant for me.

I thought Ian had finally realized I wasn't worth his heart, and I believed that wholly for the last six years. It wasn't until I came back and he still treated me like nothing had changed between us that I thought maybe I was finally worthy enough for him.

But to know I lost him due to something as ridiculous as a nightmare?

"I can't believe you left me because of that, Ian." I glare at him, tears welling behind my eyes as I let the betrayal sink into my bones. "Because of a stupid nightmare. A nightmare I don't even remember having!" I scoff, wiping at my eyes angrily. "Our lives weren't supposed to look like this. We were supposed to be together," I cry, my voice cracking in sync with my heart.

Ian reaches out and grabs my hands. I nearly yank them out of his grip, but his eyes look just as broken as I feel. "I didn't want to leave you, Georgia. You have to believe me. I was terrified that I was the reason your mother's ghost kept coming back to haunt you. Even now, you're back in my life, and guess what? She's fucking back to tormenting you again!" he yells, his voice completely defeated.

"And not only is she messing you with again, but she's also haunting Auden. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I want to be with you more than I've ever wanted anything, but how can I live with myself when I know that my selfish desires are the reason you live on edge twenty-four seven? The reason you tip-toe through your own home while checking every dark corner of every room?"

The pain in his voice breaks something in me, and I hurl myself back into his arms. "I would face my mother's ghost every minute of every single day if it meant that we got to be together. I don't care about her, or the stupid nightmares. I only care about us. You, me, and—" I almost say "our daughter," but something stops the words before they can escape.

I take a deep breath, forcing the last secret I have back down. I can't tell him tonight, not when what we have hangs so precariously in the balance. He forgave me for my part in his sister's death—how, I have no idea. But he won't be so forgiving when he finds out I've kept an even bigger secret from him.

"All I care about is you, me, and Auden. You two are my family, my whole heart. The rest of this? The rest of this is just extra baggage," I tell him, pulling myself back so I can force him to look at me. To show him how serious I am about this. "We've carried heavier baggage than this, Ian. We can carry this, and keep Auden safe, together. We can't let this break us apart again. I won't let my mother take you from me," I say vehemently. "And you promised me—the day I came back here—that you wouldn't let Crane take away another person I loved."

I grab his face, forcing him to look down at me. I see the tears in his bright eyes reflected back at me and feel the dampness from his tears on his cheeks and wipe them away softly. "And you, Ian. You are someone I love. Fiercely. Madly. Completely. I love you, and I know you love me, too. No matter how twisted it all is. Don't break your promise by walking away from me now."

I press my trembling lips to his, the salty taste of his tears igniting a fire in me as he kisses me back with as much love and passion as I feel for him. The last strand of unsureness snaps between us. A startled gasp leaves my lips when he grabs the back of my thighs and lifts me off of the couch, laying me ever so gently on the bed across from us.

I want him. Badly. I tug on the hem of his shirt, and he laughs into our unbroken kiss, causing my lips to curve into a smile. "Nothing like a couple of life-changing secrets to get you in the mood, eh?" he teases me before he pulls away and gazes down at me with so much emotion. "I searched for you in all my dreams. You haunt my every thought. Tempt my every desire. My heart only beats for you," he says as he kisses my lips, then makes his way across my jaw, my neck, and finally nips at the sensitive spot behind my ear. "And I love you, more than my own life. But you already knew that, didn't you?"

He continues to tease me as his hands make their way to the buckles on my purple overalls. His movements are confident as he unbuckles them and lets the straps fall away. He lifts my shirt over my head, leaving me in my pink lacy bralette.

"Fuck, Georgia. You're going to ruin me." He tugs my bralette down, exposing both of my breasts before he traces them softly with his fingers, causing my nipples to harden underneath them. "You are perfect."

"And I'm yours," I gasp as he replaces his fingers with his mouth. The warmth of his lips against my sensitive nipple nearly undoes me as I arch off the bed with a loud moan.

The first time we had sex, we were both so nervous, our movements unsure and awkward as we learned each other's bodies for the first time. This time, I know exactly what I want, and I'll be damned if I don't take it.

I reach for the hem of his shirt again and yank on it hard enough so he ceases the soul-stopping torment on my breasts.

"Impatient little minx," he says with a heady laugh before pulling his shirt off completely. He looks back down at me, making my insides melt when I see that smile gazing back down at me.

The smile that's reserved for me.

I grab the waistband of his jeans and tug him back toward me. "I'm allowed to be a little impatient after a long six years," I say with a smug smile.

Ian puts both hands on the side of my head, caging me between them, refusing to lower his body back onto mine. "You got laid at least one more time after I left." His voice is strained, almost like he feels the pull between us, begging to continue what we had started. "I've only had the pleasure of enjoying my own company since our almost perfect night together all those years ago."

I feel myself flush. I don't know if it's because I feel guilty for lying to him, or if I'm ashamed that our one night together was only almost perfect to him.

Because that night was everything for me.

"And before you force yourself into a spiral of worry," Ian says, lowering himself slowly toward me. "I said ‘almost perfect' because I ruined it by leaving. What we had, that night. It was more than perfect. Any moment with you is my favorite moment ever. I would have waited forever to have you back in my arms before ever looking elsewhere." He leans down and grazes his lips against mine. "It's always been you," he whispers against my lips, his breath hot against mine.

I pull him down on me, kissing him with everything I have as his hands make quick work against the bottom half of my overalls, pulling them off and tossing them onto the couch across from us. I watch with heated eyes as he removes his jeans next, leaving him in nothing but his briefs.

I sit up and reach for him, silently begging him to come closer again before I implode with need for him.

"Do you have condoms?" he asks, his voice low and husky as his eyes light a fire in my veins.

I get to my knees, pulling him toward me by his hips. Our lips barely touch as we play this game of silent torture between us. Close enough to kiss, but refusing to let our lips touch.

"I'm on the pill," I answer him, letting my lips graze his jaw as he moans softly. "I don't trust condoms after—" I stop myself short. My eyes widen in horror as I look up at him.

"I would never judge you for moving on after I left you, Georgia," Ian promises me. "The past has no room in our futures. Besides, now we have Auden, and she wouldn't have happened if you hadn't moved on. I could never judge you for that choice when she's brought so much love into your life," he says, nipping at my jaw. "Our life."

I didn't realize how badly I needed to hear that from him. Even though I know that there's been no one else, he believes it because that's what I've let him believe. Knowing that he doesn't hold that fake one-night stand against me...I don't think I could love this man anymore than I already do. The guilt I feel for lying to him, when he's being this fucking understanding, makes me dizzy with both self-loathing and unquenchable lust for this man.

Placing my hands around his neck, I pull his lips to mine. He groans before fully unleashing himself. His tongue meets mine in fiery strokes as our lips move desperately against each other frantically.

Last time, we were so gentle with each other. This time, we are like a volcano racing toward an eruption.

Ian pulls my bralette over my head, tugging it off of me in quick motions before he pushes me down onto the bed. He pulls at my jeans until I'm left in nothing but a lacy pink thong. He stands, and his eyes turn molten as he looks me up and down before he pushes his briefs to the floor and steps out of them.

My mouth dries as I gaze at him, my eyes stopping on the hard proof of how much he wants me, too. I spread my legs for him slowly, a full blush spreading over my body at my own forwardness. He throws a smirk at me before he pounces, fisting one hand into my hair as he kisses me again.

He makes me feel brazen and confident in a way I never have before. I grind into him, moaning loudly when he takes his other hand and finally touches me where my need for him pulses the most. Easing one finger slowly in and out of me.

I need more of him.

Reaching down, I take him into my hands, pumping him up and down slowly, matching his own torturously slow tempo.

Ian starts working me harder, faster. I'm so close. But I don't want to finish this way.

I want all of him.

Releasing my grip on him, I grab his hand, forcing him to stop, and I push him back while lifting my hips, flipping us so I'm straddling him. His breathing is as ragged as my own as we stare at each other. A small smirk tugs on my lips as I grab hold of him, lifting myself and guiding him into me as I move slowly, gasping at how full it feels this way.

"Fuck, Georgia," Ian hisses as I really start to move. He grabs hold of my hips and thrusts himself farther and farther into me as we both chase our release.

"I'm so close," I moan, grinding myself into him.

He bounces us up and down with the force of his hips. He reaches up and places his thumb right at my core, caressing it in soft circles until I can't hold on anymore.

I arch my back and scream his name as my release crashes through me again and again. Ian's own release follows as soon as I shout his name.

My body doesn't belong to me anymore; it's his. Fully, completely—his.

Ian pulls me down to him, kissing me soundly as we both struggle to catch our breath. Our sweat-slick bodies collapse into each other's as I untangle myself from him.

"I love you," Ian says through labored breath.

I reach up and pull his face to mine, stroking his damp hair out of his face. "And I love you."

Ian laughs loudly, startling me.

"What?" I ask him, laying my head against his chest so I can listen to his heartbeat.

He wraps his arm around me, his hand moving up and down in lazy strokes against my back. "I'm just really glad that your father isn't home tonight. I can't imagine the walls are thick enough to drown out our escapades," he says.

I can hear the sly smile in his voice, which makes me giggle into his chest.

"What?" he asks me this time.

"I'm just glad Auden is a heavy-ass sleeper," I tell him, looking up and laughing again.

Ian throws his free arm over his face in embarrassment. "I completely forgot she's in the room across the hall."

I lean up and kiss his cheek, pulling his arm away from him. "Don't worry. I'm not winning any Mom of the Year awards either because for a good half hour...I forgot, too."

"Great parents we are," Ian jokes.

My heart stops at his words.

Great parents.

I should tell him. I have to tell him she's his daughter. He needs to know.

I open my mouth to finally spill out the last, ugly secret that may be the true ruin of us all, but he catches my lips with his own, moving so quickly I don't have time to protest.

We spend the next hour tangled up together, making up for lost time, as this secret burns a hole in my chest.

I'll tell him tomorrow, I promise myself.

Tomorrow.