24. Ian

24

Ian

Six Years Ago

I t's been four years since Georgia walked out of my life, leaving nothing but a note on her bedside table for me. A note telling me that saying goodbye would be too hard and that it was better for her to leave this way.

Leaving me in tatters as she ran away from Crane Manor with my heart in her hands.

Sure, in the note she told me to follow her when I was ready. She even made sure to write that she wouldn't change her cell phone number in case I wanted to get ahold of her one day.

What I wanted was for my parents to relinquish the death grip they've had on me ever since my sister Irene died when we were just five years old.

What I wanted was for me not to be such a fucking coward and tell them that I don't care if they didn't approve of Georgia. I know in my bones that she is the only girl for me, and it's time I win her back.

Which is why, four years later, I am staring up at the five-story apartment building she now lives in.

How do I know where she lives when I haven't talked to her in four years because I've been too much of a sour jackass to reach out?

Well, I know this because she sent her father a birthday card a couple of months ago, and Mr. Harris gave me the return address when I asked him yesterday if he knew where she was staying. He handed me the empty envelope with nothing but a sly smile and a wink. A much better reaction than my parents gave me.

My mother cried, begging me to stay, because she couldn't lose another child. My father laughed, a hideous grin on his lips as he told me that Georgia would just use and abuse me and that I'd be scurrying home with my tail between my legs in no time.

I scoff under my breath. I can't let my father's words get into my head and ruin this for me. I've been dreaming of this moment for four years, and I won't let him taint this reunion with Georgia.

With shaking hands, I press the buzzer next to G. Harris .

Her voice greets me almost immediately. "Come on up!" she says through the small speaker, causing my heart to beat faster in my chest when I hear her voice. A loud buzz from the main door rings loudly overhead.

Is she expecting anyone? A boyfriend, maybe? Hopefully not, or this trip will be awkward as hell. Not that I would blame her for meeting someone else. She did leave me high and dry with nothing but a note as her goodbye gesture. After everything we've survived together, I thought I knew her better than that. I didn't think she was capable of being so cruel and heartless.

I make my way inside, and the building is nicer than I expected, but I guess most things in Los Angeles look shabbier on the outside. I opt to use the stairs instead of the elevator because I don't think I can sit still long enough for the elevator to go four floors. I'm nervous as hell to see her. Nervous, and excited.

Probably the most excited I've ever been if the butterflies in my stomach are any indication.

I'm nearly panting by the time I make it to the fourth floor. Taking deep, calming breaths, I shove the duffle bag higher up on my shoulder and scan the numbers until I find Georgia's apartment: 4G.

The door is painted a bright mustard yellow, which might seem out of sorts if all the other doors on the floor weren't painted in varying hues of yellow and teal to match the hideous geometric carpeting that lines the hall floors. Large framed photos of Andy Warhol's pop art collection hang between each apartment door. Georgia's door has that funky banana on one side and some sort of soup can on the other.

I sincerely hope the inside of the apartments are spared from whoever decorated this monstrosity.

Not that I hate the banana; I might enjoy it in my own house one day. I chuckle to myself when I imagine Georgia coming home every day and being greeted by a giant banana.

It's absolutely ridiculous.

Okay, okay. Time to rip this Band-Aid of my own doing off. I take another deep, steadying breath as I reach up with a shaking fist and knock on the mustard-yellow door.

My breath gets caught in my throat when she finally opens the door and I see her for the first time in four years.

Four long, long years.

"Ian?" Georgia's voice greets me, an obvious tremble in her voice as we take each other in. "Is that really you?"

The smile that spreads across her face stuns me into speechlessness.

Her chestnut hair is much shorter than it was the last time I saw her but still complements her heart-shaped face and dark eyes perfectly. She's wearing a simple white tank top that's tucked into the tight blue jeans that seem to hug every curve of her. She obviously spends a lot of time outside here in California because her freckles are dulled by her sun-kissed skin.

She's beautiful.

How could I have stayed away for so long when she smiles at me like I hung the damn moon for her?

"Hi," I choke out right before she throws herself at me and wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly.

"Oh my God, Ian! I can't believe you're here! I never thought you'd come find me," she says, hugging me tighter to her. "But you finally found me."

I hug her back, hoping I can transfer every thought and feeling through osmosis. God, I missed her so much. The lavender and vanilla scent that has always seemed to cling to her skin, the way her body fits perfectly with mine, the feeling of her pressed up against me like this...

My eyes widen as I realize that Georgia can probably feel everything right now, and I pull away slowly. She looks up at me with those gorgeous stormy gray eyes of hers filled with tears. I reach up and wipe them away softly before I lean in and place a gentle kiss against her lips.

Kissing her is like muscle memory; I can't seem to stop myself from doing it.

"I've missed you so much, Georgie."

She scoffs loudly and rolls her eyes, almost as if nothing has changed between us in the last four years. "I've missed you more."

Before I can lean in for another kiss, someone behind me clears their throat loudly.

I turn and see a man around our age staring back at us with an apologetic expression on his face. He's holding a bag of take-out food in his hand.

"Matty!" Georgia says, clearly expecting this man. "I'm so sorry! I was heading down to the lobby to grab the food, but my friend surprised me at the door." She releases me and steps around me to grab the bag from Matty, then reaches into her back pocket and pulls out cash and hands it to him. "Thank you again for bringing it up. Next time, I promise to meet you in the lobby. Please, keep the change, Matty."

Matty smiles at her fondly before looking over at me and eyeing me up and down. "A friend, you say?"

Georgia laughs loudly, the sound echoing down the empty hallway. "Yes, Matty. This is Ian, and he's my dearest, closest friend in the world. No need to fight him off...yet." She turns back and winks at me.

Matty's glacial eyes nearly bore holes into my body before he turns his gaze back to Georgia. The death glare must be reserved for me only because he looks at Georgia like he might be in love with her, too. "All right, Georgia. I'll see you in class. You two have fun," he says before finally taking his leave.

"Come on; let's go eat the best damn eggrolls you've ever had in your life." Georgia grabs my hand and pulls me into her apartment, closing the mustard-yellow door behind us.

I 've spent countless days, endless hours, with Georgia throughout my life, and never once has it felt more natural than it does tonight. We've spent the last few hours eating, laughing, and catching up on everything we've missed over the last four years.

We are still us , and I didn't realize how nervous it made me to think we wouldn't be the same after being apart for so long.

It's like the last four years apart never happened, and we've just picked right back up where we left off.

We've never put a label on us; we've never needed to.

She is mine, and I will always be her's.

We are lying together in her bed, and she's wrapped in my arms with her head against my chest. We've spent our whole lives cuddled up in similar positions, albeit in a much smaller bed, but tonight, there's a sort of electric buzz in the air between us.

Something feels intimately different this time.

"I'm so glad you're here," Georgia says quietly. "I know I've said it, like, a hundred times today, but I really can't believe you finally left Crane."

I stroke her back in lazy waves. "I never thought I'd leave," I admit. "But I felt like I was missing a piece of me every time I walked into the manor and you weren't there to greet me. I missed seeing you swinging your legs on the barstools while you ate something you especially liked." I kiss the top of her head softly, and when she looks up at me, I feel like everything I've been missing in my life is right here in my arms again.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss... home ," she says warily. "But I don't miss having to look over my shoulder every time I walked the dark halls alone in that house."

"Do you still see her?" I ask nonchalantly. I won't force her to talk about her mother's ghost if she doesn't want to.

I've never seen Caroline's ghost myself, but I have always believed Georgia when she told me she was being haunted by her mother. Sometimes I find myself envious. I wish I could see Irene once in a while. But then I remember the way Georgia described her mother's spirit—the rotting flesh and blood. I'd rather not see my little sister like that.

Georgia smiles at me, a real smile. Not forced at all. A smile I've never seen when it comes to her mother.

"I haven't seen her since I walked through the gates leaving Crane Manor. No more night terrors either, or sleeping spells," she tells me, relief clear in her voice. "I told you that place was haunted." She pinches my ribs and makes me jump in surprise. "But I don't want to talk about Crane, or ghosts. Tonight, I just want to be with you."

The electricity in the air buzzes louder around us as she stares up at me. I sit up quickly, forcing her to sit up with me.

"Are you saying what I think you might be saying?" I ask. "And before you answer that, you swear nothing is going on between you and your delivery boy?"

She giggles and shakes her head at me. "Matty and I are just friends. I'm not really his type."

I raise an eyebrow at her. "I find that hard to believe. You should be everyone's type."

"Matty would prefer someone who looks like you," she says, raising an eyebrow right back at me. "Now, enough about Matty. Right now, there's only you and me."

Her tongue darts out, licking her lower lip as she stares directly into my soul. Her cheeks are flushed, making her look more beautiful than I've ever seen her.

"I think we've waited long enough. Don't you think so?" Her voice is low, almost husky sounding.

I reach out and pull her closer to me, kissing her hard as she climbs into my lap.

"We've only waited our whole lives for this," I agree between kisses, making her gasp and melt into my arms completely. "I love you, Georgia. It's always been you."

She pulls away, just far enough so we can look each other in the eyes. "It'll always be you," she says before placing another kiss on my lips. "I love you, with my whole heart."

I spend the rest of the night showing her just how much I've always loved her. How much I'll always need her, much like the way I need oxygen to survive. Our movements were clumsy at first, but once we got past the awkward part, it was everything I'd always hoped it would be. It was perfect, because it was with her.

M y eyes fly open when I hear a strange noise. I reach over, feeling for Georgia, when my hand hits empty space next to me. I look at the alarm clock that's across the room, and it says it's just past 3:00 am. Reaching for the other side of the bed, I pull the metal chain that turns on the small lamp on the bedside table.

Once my eyes finally adjust, I see Georgia standing at the large window in her room. She's wearing a purple nightgown, and she's muttering something under her breath.

I pull my boxers on and cross the room. "Georgia?" I ask softly. "Are you okay?" I place my hand on her shoulder and squeeze gently. I'm not sure if she's stuck in a nightmare or if she's awake. Every time she's had a sleep spell, she's looked completely awake. But I've watched my mother soothe Georgia back to bed several times over the years, and I know I'm not supposed to jar her awake if she is stuck in a nightmare.

"She's back, she's back, she's back," Georgia whispers, her eyes locked on something in the distance as she stares out the window. The city is lit up around us, but when I try to follow her gaze, I see nothing that stands out.

"Georgie, are you in a spell again?" I ask gently, rubbing her shoulders up and down softly from behind her. I can see her reflection through the window. She looks so far away, so I know she's asleep. "Okay, Georgie, let's get you back to bed." I try to steer her toward the bed, the same way I've watched my mother do.

But instead of Georgia moving toward the bed, she turns completely around, forcing me to release my gentle grip on her shoulders.

She opens her mouth and brings her arm up, pointing directly at me as her eyes stay unfocused on something past me. "Your fault. Your fault. Your fault," she says, her voice hollow, almost lifeless.

My heart is pounding in my chest as I look behind me nervously. I fully expect to see Caroline's ghost standing behind me, but I'm surprised to find nothing but Georgia's belongings and my duffle bag sitting by the bedroom door.

I turn back toward Georgia and gasp loudly when I see that her gray eyes are focused completely on mine now, and she's stuck in a silent scream, while pointing at me. Something about this seems familiar...

No.

It can't be.

"Georgia," I plead, unable to take my eyes off of her. "Georgie, please wake up. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Because now I know why this sight of her looks so familiar...

It's the same way she described her mother's ghost looking any time she came to haunt Georgia. After I told Georgia to go into her mother's office for solace. After I screamed into the lake and begged the heaven's to bring Irene and Caroline back to us.

Georgia told me she hadn't had a night terror or seen her mother's spirit since she left Crane Manor. But what if it's not because of Crane Manor that all these horrible things have happened to her?

What if Georgia is being haunted and tortured with these nightmares because of me ?

I thought leaving Crane meant that we could finally escape the binds that held us there, but I think the only thing Georgia needs to escape...is me.

Her arm drops back to her side, and she shakes her head in confusion, looking around her room in panic before her eyes land back on mine. "Ian?"

I force a smile on my face. "You were sleepwalking. Let's get you back to bed," I tell her as I step forward and wrap my arm around her, steering her back toward the bed.

She climbs in and pats the spot next to her. "I'm sorry I woke you. I haven't had a sleep spell in years. Let's go back to bed."

I climb in next to her, unable to force any words out. She wraps herself in my arms and, within minutes, is fast asleep again. I hug her tightly to me, inhaling the scent of her, trying to memorize every single thing about her.

Because I know that the only way to keep her safe, to keep her ghosts at bay...is for me to stay far away from her.

I have to leave and give her no reason to come chasing me.

I have to break her heart completely and make her hate me enough so that she never comes back to Crane Manor.

Sneaking out of her arms, I tip-toe into the small kitchen and grab a piece of paper from the small notepad on the fridge and the tiny pen that's hanging next to it.

My hands shake uncontrollably as my heart cracks in my chest.

Dear Georgia,

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here. We don't belong together anymore.

Don't follow me.

Ian

I sneak back into her bedroom and leave the note folded up on the bedside table. I kiss her cheek one last time. "I'm so sorry, Georgie. This is what's best for you. I love you, always," I whisper.

Then I grab my duffle bag from the floor and leave her life for good, without looking back.