11. Georgia

11

Georgia

Now

S ometime in the night, I must have turned because I wake in a cocoon of warmth as I'm pressed against Ian's chest with his arms wrapped tightly around me.

Looking up at him, I can't stop the memories of all the nights we spent just like this. Only, instead of a small couch, we huddled together on the twin mattress in my childhood bedroom. Him, holding me to his chest, protecting me from my night terrors. Me, pressing my ear against his chest gently so I could listen to his heartbeat without waking him.

Whatever fight we had last night, it doesn't change anything. We fight, I scream and curse at him, he walks away. We still end up here, gripping onto each other to keep the horrors at bay. Every damn time.

I fell in love with him with my entire soul when I was thirteen, and I haven't been able to escape that fate since. Here we are, nearly thirty years old now, and still intertwined together. Woven together forever because of Auden. It's hard not to blurt out that she's his daughter when he reminds me so much of that boy I loved so many years ago. Especially after a night like last night, falling asleep to the sound of his voice as he read my mother's words to me. After hearing about all her losses...maybe I should just rip this Band-Aid off and tell him that Auden is his daughter.

I know how my best friend would react, but I don't know how this new Ian would.

And that's what makes me hesitate any time the words creep over my lips, begging to be released into the world.

"I can feel your eyes on me," Ian says with a low rumble, his voice still fogged with sleep. I roll my eyes at him, even though his eyes are still closed. "Quit your sass, or I'll move and kick you off the couch, G."

A stupid giggle passes my lips at the thought. He wouldn't dare.

"Yes, I would," he responds to my unspoken thoughts. "In case you forgot, I knew you quite well before we decided to turn our innocent friendship sleepovers into something more."

I reach out and pinch his bare chest, making him yelp as his eyes fly open.

"Fucking, rude, Georgie," he says with a sleepy laugh.

"Did I hear you say you had a sleepover and you didn't invite us?"

Ian and I both jump apart like teenagers caught breaking curfew when we hear Auden's voice. I end up on the floor, all caught up in the comforter, as Ian tries to yank it away from me to cover himself.

"Auden! Hi!" I yelp from the floor, trying desperately to untangle myself. My head is inches away from the bed, and when I look up, I see streaks of blood on the white sheets. The image of my mother's dead corpse comes to mind as I reach forward with a shaky hand to touch it. It's still slightly damp from hours before.

It wasn't a dream.

Auden drops Horton onto the bed, then stands over me with her hand on her hips, looking extra annoyed with me. "Mom, you have some explaining to do. Don't you?"

Ian's laughter is loud and completely unabashed when I look up at him, begging him for help with my eyes. "Don't look at me. She's your daughter!"

If only you knew.

I look back over at Auden, and she crosses her arm over her chest, just like I do when I'm disappointed in her about something. My own fit of laughter bubbles out of my chest at the sight of her. My little five-year-old going on fifteen.

"So you had a sleepover without me?" Auden asks again.

I get to my feet, pulling her down onto the couch with me, squeezing her right between Ian and myself. "We didn't mean to have a sleepover without you. I promise we won't do it again, okay?" I glance over at Ian, and he's still trying to hold his laughter in.

"It's not fair that you forgot about me," Auden says, her lower lip starting to tremble.

I pull her into my lap, stroking her hair and her back, soothing her until she hugs me back. "Shh, that's okay. It's okay," I whisper into her hair. "How about you and me have a sleepover tonight? Maybe if we're together, we won't have bad dreams anymore."

She nods her head enthusiastically against my chest. "Can Ian come, too?"

My eyes meet his, and he looks pained as he watches us. He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it again and shakes his head at me.

"Actually, Ian has big doctor things he has to do tonight. But Horton can sleep with us instead. How about that?" My heart breaks as the lie passes over my lips.

Ian finally stands, stretching all those new muscles of his before he starts walking toward the door.

"Ian?" Auden turns, watching him walk out.

"Yes, Auden?" He pauses at the doorframe, leaning against it, waiting for her to continue.

"Will you come to the sleepover with us if I start screaming again? Last night nobody came."

My mouth drops open as my eyes flicker back and forth between Ian's surprised face and Auden.

"Why don't we all get dressed, and then we can get breakfast and eat down by the lake?" Ian finally says.

Auden jumps out of my lap and runs toward him, wrapping her arms around him. "That sounds like the best plan ever! I'll wear my prettiest dress!" She releases him and runs to her door across the hall, slamming it loudly behind her.

"I'll start on breakfast. You get dressed and meet me in the kitchen when you're ready," Ian says quickly before disappearing into the hall. He pops his head back in a second later. "We need to talk later...about all this." I nod my head at him, and he leaves again. This time, I hear the office door shut behind him.

My eyes linger on the empty doorway before turning toward the blood splatters on the bed.

What if none of it was a dream?

I get to my feet, shaking off the uneasiness I feel when my eyes catch on the blue diary sitting on the back of the couch. My mother's words echoing through me, leaving me feeling so incredibly loved, while also feeling so heartbroken for her and my father. I had no idea they were suffering so much. It also leaves me with more questions.

Why would she try to kill me if she loved me so much?

I grab her diary, taking it into the small bathroom with me as I get ready for the day. Maybe Ian can read another entry while we have breakfast and it'll provide more answers.

A uden comes into my room shortly after I get out of the shower asking if I'll braid her hair before we meet Ian for breakfast. She looks absolutely adorable in her lilac purple dress. Every time she moves, the sequins sewn in catch the light, making her look like a fairy princess.

I wonder if this is how my mother looked at me when I was her age, with nothing but love in her eyes.

As I brush through her dark locks, I see her eyeing the diary that's still sitting on the vanity.

"You said you were screaming last night?" I ask her, slowly brushing through her long dark hair.

She bites her lip. "I thought I was, but I think maybe it was just a bad dream like the other night," she replies, watching the brush weave in and out her hair as I go.

"What did you dream about the night before?" I start braiding one side of her hair, pulling a purple hair tie out of the drawer before I finish.

"I don't remember. I was scared, so I looked out of the door, and I saw the other open door. I went in and saw you asleep. Ian was awake on the couch and playing on his phone. He told me to keep quiet as we snuck out and let you sleep," she tells me. "Then Ian made blueberry pancakes for Horton and asked me a bunch of questions." She's tugging on the hem of her purple dress, twisting it around her fingers over and over again.

I chew on my lip, contemplating what to ask next. "What kind of questions did he ask you?"

She shrugs, looking up at me through the mirror's reflection as I braid the other side. "Just silly questions. Like how old I was. If I knew my dad." She shrugs, looking down at her hands again. "And he asked if you had a boyfriend." She giggles at the last one.

I laugh with her as I wrap the hair tie around the second braid. "And what did you tell him?" I cock an eyebrow at her with a smile. She doesn't need to know that my heart is racing over the enormity of his innocent questions.

"I told him my birthday was October 2, 2019, and that my dad was a soldier who died protecting his friends. And then I told him you've never had a boyfriend before," she tells me, looking at her braids in the mirror with a smile. "My hair is perfect. Thank you, Mommy. Now I'm really hungry, so we should go see what Ian made for breakfast!" She jumps off the stool, slamming the bedroom door behind her.

I need to talk to Ian. I'm not sure he's ever going to forgive me for not telling him about Auden, but it's clear that he suspects the truth about her.

I shouldn't have come back here.

Mrs. Foster made it sound like my father was on his deathbed, which is why I dropped our whole life to come here. From what I've seen, he's recovering slowly, but he's recovering.

So why did she insist I come back?