31.

Alex

M y brother got adopted.

He has a new name now, and I don't know if I'm going to be able to find him after all. I don't plan on telling anyone about this discovery just yet, but Beatrice is more self-aware than she gives herself credit for, and she notices me freaking out silently at home.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Try again."

"It's Aaron."

"Your brother?"

"Yes."

"You found him."

"Sort of," I say. "He got adopted."

"Is that a good thing?" She's gentle with her tone. Not every foster kid wants to get adopted. Most do, sure, but there's a certain social assumption that goes with adoption. It's like, you're giving up on your birth parents in every sense of the word. When you get adopted, you're giving up on the life you used to have. You're doing something else, something different.

Is that really what I wanted for Aaron?

I waited for him. I looked for him. Did he do the same thing? I hate knowing that he's still out there, lost to the world. I'm also wondering if this means that he had a good life. Maybe he grew up in a place that was better than this. Maybe he grew up knowing that there are people who love him.

Or maybe...

Maybe his life was worse.

"I don't know," I admit. Then I decide I need to be all-in with Beatrice. "There's something else. Something I'm not telling you. It's about Ryan."

"Of course it is." Beatrice rolls her eyes. "What did the asshole do now? Let me guess: he's being weird about your brother because he wants you all to himself. Tell Ryan to fuck off. It's important for you to spend time with your brother."

"I haven't actually reconnected with Aaron," I admit. "I haven't completely found him."

"Then what's going on?"

"Shadowvale Industries has an adoption agency."

"Yeah, right." Beatrice laughs. "I think I would have known about that."

"They do," I say. "And they're the reason Aaron was adopted. My private investigator found the information. She found out more, though. She learned that Shadowvale Industries has been doing adoptions for a while now."

"How have I never heard of this?"

"Maybe your uncle kept that private."

"My mom should have known. She was his sister."

"I guess everyone has their secrets," I say gently. I totally agree with Beatrice. Her mom should have known if Mr. Shadowvale was doing something sketchy, but her mom and Ryan's dad might not have been that close. Everyone has secrets, apparently. Even rich people. Especially rich people.

"She should have known about this," Beatrice sighs. She looks up. "Edgar Shadowvale was a piece of shit. My mom is wealthy, but nothing compared to him. He's always had money. It wasn't like he came from nothing. The rest of the Shadowvales, they had to forge their own way."

"But they're all rich."

"They are," she agrees. "And each of them has a story for that. For example, my dad was rich. When my mom married him, she came into the relationship with absolutely nothing. Edgar made sure of it. When his parents died, they left everything to Edgar and nothing to my mom."

"That's terrible," I say. "Not leaving anything at all to their daughter?"

"I agree," she nods. "They're cruel."

"Sounds like the apple didn't fall far from the tree," I say. I think about Ryan, about Phoenix, and about Oscar. Could the three of them know about this adoption scheme? Could they know anything about what happened to my brother? And what role would they have played?

"I know that face," Beatrice says. "What are you thinking about?"

"Do you think Ryan knows about Aaron?"

"No." Beatrice's voice is firm.

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I know my cousin," she says. "He might be a bit of a dick, but he's not the kind of person who's going to destroy his own family."

"How can you be sure?"

"He wouldn't do anything that would hurt anyone. Ryan likes money. He likes business. He doesn't like the buying or selling of children. I don't really feel like that's a surprising thing for me to say, either. The truth is that he'll do whatever it takes to look over other people."

"He might have inherited this. He might not have realized what it was at first."

"Then you need to talk to him, Alex. Really talk to him."

"I don't think this is the kind of thing you just talk about," I say. "How would I even begin that conversation?"

"It doesn't matter. You like him. I can tell."

"Yeah, because he's hot!"

And because he makes me smile.

And because he makes me feel things.

He's the kind of person who will do whatever it takes to go above and beyond. His dad left him the company for a reason. It's super easy to see why. Ryan is going to be a complete shark when it comes to building the empire even more.

Does that vision have room for someone like me?

"I think there's more to it than that," Beatrice says, but I shake my head. I refuse to allow myself to daydream about Ryan and a future for the two of us.

"It's not like that," I say. "Damien will be back soon. Then I'll need to find another job. I'm going to get one in my field. I have a good feeling." I don't have a good feeling. This is total lie. "I know that there are teaching jobs out there, and now that I've been able to make a little bit of money, I think I have enough flexibility with my finances that I can find something else."

"Meaning?"

"I'll still be able to afford my rent even if I get a teaching job."

Her eyes soften.

"We can move," she says. Because Beatrice is a good person. She's the kind of person who is willing to move if their roommate doesn't have the funds to be normal. She's kind even when the rest of the world is so damn cold.

"We don't need to move."

"We can," she says. "I'm not attached to this place."

"The's nice of you."

"It's not a matter of being nice," she says. "I don't want to have to go roommate shopping again, you know." Because Beatrice has lived with people who were terrible. She knows what it's like to be around people who don't support her or understand her. The world can be tricky when you feel isolated from everyone around you.

"You're the best roommate I've had."

"Then can I give you a little bit of roommate advice?"

"Sure."

"Talk to Ryan. Really talk to him," she says. "When he's with you...well, this seems to be the happiest he's ever been."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah," she smiles. "I can't really believe it, honestly. He's always been such a dick, but when you're around...well, it seems like Ryan has found that life is worth living after all."

Maybe she's right.

Beatrice heads to bed, but I stay up sitting on the couch for a long time. Eventually, I pull out my phone and text him that I'm thinking about him. He doesn't respond right away, and eventually, I realize that he's probably busy with CEO stuff. Either way, I don't really want to think about it, so I haul myself to my bedroom, close my eyes, and go to sleep.