Chapter 15

Chapter

Fifteen

Jagger wasas confused and frustrated as ever. He didn't blame Belinda—he blamed her dad plenty. Anger at the duplicitous pastor pushed him to swim until well after dark.

Nobody was in the main area when he came through. He showered and restrained himself from knocking on Belinda's door, instead forcing himself to eat some of the dinner left in the fridge. He should've kissed her on the patio earlier, but he didn't know if his heart could take any more battering.

He slept fitfully, but at least he slept. He worked out with Hays and Paul the next morning, taking part in all the banter with the two of them. That helped. He showered and ate breakfast with Belinda, Hays, and Paul. Belinda laughed and teased with the rest of them. She looked beautiful and apprehensive. Was she worried about her slim chances of winning a million dollars or about saying goodbye to Jagger again? Would it be another fourteen years, or would he ever see her again?

He'd promised her dad he wouldn't come for her, and he'd kept his promise. On the flip side, the lying pastor hadn't even told her that Jagger had dropped by. Now that he thought about it, he should've suspected as much. Why would Pastor Ralphs go to such lengths to get Jagger to promise not to come for her, knock him to the concrete to win the fight, and leave him miles away with the note of ‘You Promised' if he wasn't planning on hiding it all from Belinda? To Jagger's young and jealous heart, it had looked like Belinda was head over heels for Mike, but her dad had known she wasn't. The pastor had thought it was God's will that Jagger had come at the moment Mike and Belinda were together and had kissed. Sheldon Ralphs could probably justify in his mind that he was protecting his daughter from the military man who would only leave her alone and who made her cry.

His anger at the pastor was a huge part of his frustration with heaven above. Jagger could admit he'd prayed on the Na Pali trail as he ran for Belinda. It was a miracle that Paul had dived at a man pointing a gun at him and not only succeeded in killing the guy, but nobody except the convicts even got hurt. He could see God's hand in that, but he still had no desire to bridge the gap between himself and the heavens.

He understood why Belinda wanted to go home and talk things out with her parents. But wouldn't they just keep on lying to her? Why would they admit to secrets they'd hidden for this long? Most likely, things would go back to how they were before this week, only with fresher pain and another long healing period.

Belinda and Paul got ready to take off. Jagger and Hays walked them to the garage.

"You can't watch what direction we go," Belinda said, all cute and sassy.

"We'll try to help you out," Jagger teased. "We won't watch you leave at least."

"Ah, so generous." She winked at him. "I'm assuming that means you want honey instead of stings?"

"Always." He couldn't hide his grin or his longing for her.

She grinned back. If only everything else in the world would disappear and he could just hold her. They hadn't even had a chance to talk about … anything, really. Every time they'd gotten close, she'd gotten ticked at him again. Ah, his Bee. She'd said he was the only one who ‘got her.' Was she not able to be her unpredictable, fiery, irresistible, fun self even around her parents? That stung deep and gave him another reason to despise her dad.

"Let's do this," Paul said.

"Catch ya soon," Hays countered.

"We'll see." Paul saluted them and held the door for Belinda.

Belinda gave him one more sweet smile before the door closed behind her.

Jagger felt like his heart and soul had just walked away. How was he truly going to let her go when this was all over? He realized that he hadn't heard from Shawn and Mercedes all week and he'd been too invested in Belinda to think to call. Was no news good news or was Shawn in a deep funk and Jagger was selfishly being the worst friend ever so caught up in his own drama?

"You okay?" Hays asked.

"Not really. You?"

Hays smiled.

"Have you heard from Shawn and Mercedes?"

"I let them know everybody was safe yesterday morning."

"Were they okay?"

"She sounded awful, but she's still around."

Jagger nodded and pulled out his phone. He pushed Shawn's number, put it on speaker, and waited. After two rings, he got a gruff, "Hey. Everything okay?"

"Sure. Just giving Paul and Belinda their head start. How's Mercedes?"

"She's hanging on. The doctors aren't giving her much longer."

"Sorry, man," Hays said.

"You and me both." His voice lowered, and it sounded like he was moving. "Franz is a mess. I don't know what he'll do when she passes."

Jagger could commiserate, but he had no words of advice. It was awful to have no family left on earth, and he could only imagine losing a child would rip a person apart.

"We'll all try to be there for him," Hays said.

Jagger nodded, but they'd already had three weeks off from their unit. They'd have an assignment soon.

"Thanks." Shawn blew out a breath and then said, "How's everything with Belinda?"

"A huge mess," Jagger admitted.

"You want to talk about it?"

Jagger met Hays's surprised gaze. Shawn wasn't the one to offer to talk about emotional junk. "It'd take hours to explain. Maybe on the plane ride home."

"Okay." Shawn sounded relieved. "Should I plan on coming tonight to do that final filming or in the morning?"

"Up to you." Jagger secretly hoped for more time with Belinda. Not that it would change anything, but he had no idea if he'd see her again after they said goodbye this time. And knowing Belinda, she could get mad at him over something and he wouldn't even get a sweet kiss goodbye.

"I'll see what Mercedes says." He paused and said, "Okay. Thank you, Franz." Then he was walking again. "She wants to talk to you two."

He paused, and they heard a soft, frail, "Hey, guys."

"Hi, Mercedes," Jagger said.

"How are you?" Hays asked.

"Been better." Her voice was so weak it hurt to hear it. "Jag … do you … hate me?"

"I could never hate you." Jagger swallowed the emotion in his throat. "You're my favorite sis, remember?"

She laughed and then had to pause to catch her breath. "Your only sis," she managed. Her voice was a weak rattle. Jagger had heard that voice before. The death rattle.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't lose one more person he loved.

Hays met his gaze and Jagger had to look away. The pain in Hays's dark eyes was as raw as his burning throat.

"I'd never want any other sister but you," Jagger said. It was cheesy and he couldn't care less. This world would be a darker place without Mercedes in it.

"Belinda?" she got out.

"She's incredible and feisty and funny and I love her." Jagger couldn't believe he was saying all of this, and Hays's wide eyes confirmed it. "But things are worse than ever between us. Her dad lied to her about me and I think she still believes him."

"Crap," she said.

Hays and Jagger both laughed at that. The release in tension helped a lot.

"I'll … pray," Mercedes got out.

"I know you …" Jagger broke off and had to choke down a sob. His eyes stung, but he closed them so no moisture would escape. "I know you will."

Jagger couldn't even wrap his mind around the fact that he was so choked up. If only he could hug Mercedes one more time. If only he could believe that her prayers would help him. If only every person he loved didn't die. At least Hays and Shawn were healthy, and Belinda had been protected the other night. He should probably say a prayer of gratitude but didn't know how to get it out.

"You … pray."

Jagger refused to open his eyes. "I … Dang you, Mercedes. You ask too much of me." He shook his head and waited, but nobody rescued him. "I'll try, okay? I'll try. But only for you."

"Thanks. And for … Belinda."

He managed a soft laugh, but his eyes burned. "You are manipulative and beautiful and an angel and I don't want to live in this world without you." How he managed to say all of that without sobbing, he'd never know. He couldn't open his eyes and look at Hays or he'd break down. He heard a soft sob from his friend's direction.

"You'll … be okay. I'll … watch over … you both."

Jagger could even hear Shawn sniffle in the background. He was going to lose it.

"Love … you … Jag."

"I love you." His voice broke then, and the tears he'd been fighting leaked out.

"Love … you … Hays."

"I love you more," Hays said back, his own voice thick.

"I don't … think … that's possible."

Hays laughed and sobbed at the same time. Jagger's eyes popped open. He'd never seen Hays cry. Hays had seen him cry when he'd gotten the news about his mom dying. He edged to the side and put his arm around his friend's shoulder. It was easier than looking at him.

"Bye," Mercedes whispered.

"Bye," they both echoed.

How Jagger hated that word.

He released his grip on Hays but didn't move, standing side by side as if to face this pain head-on and together.

They heard rapid footsteps, then Shawn cleared his throat. "This sucks so bad," he muttered.

"Shawn, don't come here," Jagger said. "Stay with her."

"Seriously," Hays agreed. "Mercedes and Franz need you. Send Garrett and we'll film the closing scene or whatever you call it."

"Who cares about this stupid show anyway?" Jagger bit out. "We could've spent the last three weeks of leave being together." But he wouldn't have had this time with Belinda.

"Mercedes is obsessed with the show. It's her legacy," Shawn said. "I know it seems stupid to us, but can you please give it a hundred percent … for her?"

At least Shawn hadn't said in her memory. She was hanging on. Would they be able to see her again? One last hug? Jagger doubted it.

"We can." Hays nodded.

"Of course." Jagger was even more conflicted, though. He was naturally competitive—of course he always wanted to win—but did he want to defeat Belinda and her incredibly charitable cause? Not for a second. "Can you send two pilots?" Jagger asked. "Then we can film the finale tonight and turn the plane around and head home. See Mercedes before …"

He couldn't say it.

"All right. I'll call Julie right now."

"Thanks," Jagger said.

"I'll be praying for you, Mercedes, her dad, and Julie," Hays said.

"Thanks."

Jagger had told Mercedes he'd try to pray. He blew out a breath. "I'll try, okay?"

"That's all we can ask." Shawn sounded a little better.

"Can you get Julie to the hospital?" Hays asked. "I don't like you alone."

"She's doing so much to take care of everything by herself," Shawn said. "Hopefully she can come soon."

"Tell her to drop all the other crap. Only you and Mercedes matter," Jagger said.

"We'll see. Thanks, guys." Shawn hung up without saying goodbye.

Hays turned to Jagger and clasped his best friend in a firm embrace. Neither of them said anything. Then they pulled away, and both turned different directions. Jagger was relieved and a little surprised. Usually it was only him that couldn't handle emotion.

No. Hays sucked at emotion and relationships too. The girl he loved had dumped him the same weekend Jagger had lost Belinda. Now that girl was a famous, wealthy, and dangerous lady, Elizabeth Oliver. Hays never wanted to talk about her, and he dated about as much as Jagger. Only when forced.

Jagger needed to pack a bag and get ready to go hunt down the love of his life. While one of his best friends died. And one of his other best friends held her hand.

He had an awful feeling that he'd never see Mercedes alive again.

His eyes stung again. He rushed for the stairs, pounding up to his suite. He wished he could just go swim, lift weights, or—much better—find Belinda quick, tell her what they were going through, and beg her to just hold him.

None of those things could happen.

Shawn was right.

This sucked.