Chapter 30

thirty

Savannah kept Fallon’s hand tightly in hers as she walked down the short hallway to her bedroom. Leaving the door open, she immediately spun and captured Fallon’s lips again. She wasn’t sure she could ever get enough of her kisses, of her touches.

If they could stay like this, then Savannah knew they wouldn’t have any issues. Or rather, she wouldn’t have any issues. Fallon never had problems with sex. This was where they thrived. Fallon leaned in, nipping at Savannah’s ear and flicking her tongue over it.

Moaning, Savannah’s knees went weak.

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” Fallon whispered before going back to nibbling on Savannah’s ear.

“I wish it were that simple.” Savannah kissed Fallon’s cheek and then her jaw. “But now that we’re here, my stomach is churning.”

Fallon pulled away, concern in her furrowed brow. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” Savannah didn’t want to stop touching. They’d done this before, and they’d been fine. Well, Fallon had been perfect. Savannah, however, had been anything but.

Fallon slid her thumb along Savannah’s lips, smiling sweetly at her. Where were all the worries from before? All the hesitations and fears? Savannah couldn’t find them, not in Fallon at least. Her own were raging and clawing their way up her chest and into her throat.

“What is it?” Fallon tried again, skimming her hand down Savannah’s arm and lacing their fingers together.

“I wish I didn’t have the problems that I do.” The words blurted from her, but she knew they didn’t make much sense. Savannah shook her head and dropped her forehead onto Fallon’s chest. “I’m not talking about Forrest right now, to be clear. I’m talking about me.”

“What problems?” Fallon cradled her, hands wrapped around Savannah’s back and simply held her in a sweet embrace.

“I’m fat.”

“You’re not.”

“Fallon,” Savannah growled out her name. “I need you to hear me. Don’t ignore what I’m saying.”

“All right.” Fallon pulled back, locking their gazes together. “I’m sorry. Will you try again?”

“I’ve never been skinny, but I’ve never been this fat either.” Savannah clenched her jaw. “I’m not sure I can do this.”

“We’ve done this before.”

Savannah shook her head. “No, we haven’t, not with the strap.”

“Oh.” Fallon straightened her shoulders and looked around, as if the toy would be lying around in wait. “But you have used one before, right?”

“Decades ago.”

“So you’re worried now because…” Fallon trailed off, clearly waiting for the explanation of a lifetime.

“Because my body doesn’t move like it used to. Because things don’t always feel right.” Savannah’s cheeks burned from the embarrassment. “I just don’t know if I can do this.”

Fallon scrunched her face and then sat on the edge of the bed. She patted the mattress next to her and waited for Savannah to sit. Taking her hand, Fallon brought her knuckles up to her lips and kissed them. “We’re not going to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“But I want to,” Savannah countered. “I really do. It’s just these fears keep coming up.”

“Careful now, you’re starting to sound like me.”

Savannah let out a snort and rolled her eyes. “Different fears than yours.”

“Fears nonetheless.” Fallon kissed Savannah’s knuckles again. “You’re afraid your body won’t do what it’s supposed to do.”

Shaking her head, Savannah relaxed. “I’m afraid that you won’t find me attractive, and I know how stupid that sounds because you’ve proven that’s not true, but I can’t stop—”

“The fear,” Fallon interrupted.

“Yeah. I never used to be this way.” Savannah wrapped her hands tightly together, twisting them in her lap. Shame filled her soul, and she hated every second of it. She wished it would vanish into the darkness along with Fallon’s fear.

“Then what changed?”

“If I say his name, you’ll get mad.” Savannah frowned. “But I don’t want to feel this way, not anymore. I don’t like it.”

“Good.” Fallon cupped Savannah’s cheek and brought their lips together. “Because I would hate for you to feel this way for the rest of your life.”

“So you should know that I’m worried about how this will happen, but I want it to.”

“Just tell me everything. Uncomfortable? Pain? Worry? New position? We’ll do whatever you want.” Fallon pulled Savannah’s lips to hers, lingering in the kiss.

Savannah didn’t want to get stuck in her embarrassment. She wrapped her arms around the back of Fallon’s neck and pulled her down. Savannah cradled Fallon between her legs, melding their mouths together, their tongues tangling. She sucked in a sharp breath and held onto the hope that she’d found in the last few minutes.

Fallon pressed her hand against Savannah’s hip and pushed Savannah’s shirt up. The fabric sliding across her skin was rough compared to Fallon’s tender touches. Fallon raised up over her, a smile that looked like it would never leave on her lips.

“I love looking at you,” Fallon said as she cupped Savannah’s breast. “Touching you.”

Savannah arched her back, longing for more of that touch. She pulled at Fallon’s shirt, tugging it over her head and throwing it somewhere behind her. She didn’t care so long as she had access to Fallon’s skin, her body, her touches and caresses. Savannah unclasped Fallon’s bra and immediately touched her newly exposed skin. Laughing, Fallon pressed kisses down Savannah’s neck, across her chin, and over her still covered chest.

“Savannah…” Fallon nipped at Savannah’s ear. “Touch me.”

“I am touching you,” Savannah giggled as she pinched Fallon’s nipple into a peak.

“I want you inside me.” Fallon reached between them and pulled at the button on her jeans and immediately tried to push them over her hips.

When she couldn’t manage to get it done, Savannah laughed. She moved her hands down and helped Fallon wriggle out of her clothes. Immediately, she pressed her hand between Fallon’s legs, enjoying the sound of Fallon’s sigh in her ear. Savannah could get so used to that sound if Fallon would let her, and now maybe they had a chance for it.

Savannah rubbed Fallon’s clit lightly, making circles that barely touched her, but that she knew would drive Fallon crazy. She used her feet to push Fallon’s pants the rest of the way off, the plunk of the clothes dropping to the floor below the best sound that Savannah had heard in a long time.

“Don’t make me beg,” Fallon murmured, kisses following immediately.

Savannah wanted to know exactly what that would sound like. She almost couldn’t imagine it. Fallon was always so regimented and even-keeled. She wouldn’t get on her knees and beg, would she?

“Savannah,” Fallon said in a warning.

“I kind of want you to beg me now.” Savannah didn’t move her hand away though. She wasn’t sure exactly what she wanted other than to be right here and now with Fallon, allowing hope and light to flow between them.

“Don’t be silly,” Fallon muttered as she rocked her hips.

Savannah narrowed her gaze and curled her lips up. “No. Beg.”

“Savannah,” Fallon said, warning in her tone. “I don’t like to play games.”

“Oh, but I think you’ll enjoy this one.” Savannah kept her hand moving, not wanting Fallon to think she would stop if she didn’t beg.

Fallon groaned and dropped her head onto Savannah’s chest. She took slow and deep breaths, until she moved slightly and scraped her teeth down Savannah’s neck. “Please fuck me.”

Humming, Savannah grabbed onto the back of Fallon’s thigh and pulled her a little closer. “That’s a good start.”

“I want you inside me already.”

“I promise you, that will absolutely happen.” A small thrill ran through Savannah, filling her chest with a glee she loved to experience. It helped to push all those loud fears to the back of her mind where she could ignore them for a little longer. It helped to distract her from what she didn’t want and focus on what she craved.

“Now.”

“That’s a demand, not a request.” Savannah pressed her palm against Fallon’s breast and squeezed. Planting her foot onto the bed, she pushed her hips up and flipped them over so she was finally on top of Fallon. Savannah moved so she wasn’t sitting on Fallon’s thighs but next to her and immediately dipped one finger deep inside Fallon.

“That’s it,” Fallon groaned through the words.

The sound rang true to Savannah’s ears. She wetted her thumb and moved smaller circles over Fallon’s clit while sliding a second finger in. Her mind strayed to the strap that was nestled in the drawer in her dresser, somewhere where she hoped wandering eyes wouldn’t find it.

“Stay here.” Savannah climbed off the bed and stripped her shirt as she walked toward the dresser. She’d wanted this experience from the moment she and Fallon had agreed to something more than mere friendship.

Savannah rummaged in the dresser and found the strap she’d purchased along with the lube she’d stashed next to it. She turned back around, the items in her hand and nearly stumbled in her steps. Fallon was spread out on the bed, her knees parted, two fingers deep and her head thrown back as she pleasured herself. Savannah’s pussy clenched, hard. Her body responded immediately, creaming as her breath caught in her throat. “Oh.”

Fallon’s seductive chuckle was nearly enough to tip Savannah over the edge into her own orgasm. She never would have expected that another’s pleasure would bring her to the brink without so much as a single touch or taste. And yet here she was, staring at Fallon and ready to allow her own release.

“Like what you see?” Fallon crooned from the bed. “It’d be better if you’d get over here.”

“I’m pretty sure I said something about begging.”

Fallon’s groan reverberated around the room. “I want you… now. I’m not sure how much longer I can wait. Please, Savannah.”

That had been what she was waiting for. Savannah stepped into the strap as she walked, pulling it up and settling it against her body. She’d tried it on when she’d bought it and cleaned it, but it had felt so odd to wear on her own. But with Fallon here, ready and waiting, this felt right. Nearly perfect. The straps dug into her hips and her ass, somewhat uncomfortably, but Savannah wasn’t ready to back down, not yet.

She climbed onto the bed and bent down. Shooing Fallon’s hand away, Savannah pressed her mouth right over her. Fallon gasped, her knees coming up closer to her chest before she relaxed again. Her flavor blossomed on Savannah’s tongue, and she closed her eyes in the memory of the last time she’d done this. But this time everything tasted so much sweeter. All those barriers that had held them back before were gone—completely gone.

“Yes…” Fallon trailed off, her hand on the top of Savannah’s head as she pushed Savannah deeper into her.

Using her tongue, Savannah flicked Fallon’s clit. She moved by touch alone as she squirted the lube onto her palm and spread it along the dildo. Moving up, Savannah pressed kiss after kiss over Fallon’s hips, her stomach, along her ribs and to her breasts. She lavished Fallon’s nipple, teasing her as she pressed her thighs against Fallon’s and moved as close as possible.

Anticipation coiled in the pit of her belly. She could only hope that they were going to do this again and again, that Fallon would give her the same amount of pleasure as Savannah knew she was about to give Fallon.

“In me…” Fallon mumbled, her sentences nearly incoherent.

Reaching down between them, Savannah grabbed the toy and pressed the tip of it against Fallon.

“Mmhmm. Yes.”

Breathing deep, Savannah leaned forward slightly. The toy pressed into Fallon, disappearing inside her. A thrill ran through her again. She kept her movements slow, pulling back slightly and then moving in more.

With Savannah all the way inside her, Fallon raised her legs up and wrapped them around Savannah’s hips. The rhythm was rough at first, but when Fallon’s voice reached her ears, the grunts and calls for Savannah to continue, she strengthened her movements and increased her pace.

Fallon dug her fingers into Savannah’s back, pulling her closer. Savannah nearly fell on top of her, and she scrambled to catch her balance and keep herself upright. The fear of crushing Fallon coursed through her again until she had her hands against the mattress and space between their chests again.

“Keep going,” Fallon said.

“Not begging,” Savannah answered and gave Fallon one good hard thrust.

“Don’t stop,” Fallon whispered, her gaze locked between their bodies. “Don’t stop. I need this. We need this.”

Savannah kept her pace, watching with rapt attention the changes in Fallon’s countenance. Her nose scrunched slightly, her cheeks and chest reddened, her lips parted as her breath came in short rasps. Fallon reached up and pulled Savannah down hard, their mouths melding together in a sloppy kiss until Fallon pulled away sharply with a moan on the tip of her tongue.

The silence stilled them.

Waiting for Fallon to give her the first sign, Savannah held herself in position. She brushed her fingers tenderly over Fallon’s body, her hardened nipples, the light rouge of her skin, the freckles making the most random of patterns. She bent down and kissed one, distracting herself from the wait.

Fallon threaded her fingers into Savannah’s hair, tugging lightly until their mouths could touch one more time. They kissed, tongues slowly moving against each other. Never had the quiet sounded so full. Savannah relaxed, her entire body and soul melting into this moment, one that was as near to holy as she’d ever felt.

This was love, wasn’t it?

She’d tricked herself into feeling it with Forrest, that his overtures and words meant something, but she felt it now, true in form, without Fallon ever saying the words. And it wasn’t that Savannah wasn’t in love—she knew that much. It was that Fallon loved her, even without the phrase rattling around between them.

“You’re so wet,” Fallon’s voice echoed in her ear.

Savannah jumped. When had Fallon pressed fingers inside her? When had she woven her hand under the toy to feel her? Gasping, Savannah nodded. “Yes.”

“Want me—”

“Yes,” Savannah interrupted. She didn’t care what Fallon did to her, so long as the amazing feeling building within her burst and Fallon was there to catch her. And Savannah trusted that she would be.

Fallon rubbed hard, her fingers slipping a few times before she finally found a good angle and the right pressure. Savannah rocked her hips back and forth, adding to the sensations floating through her body. Whimpering, Savannah scrunched up her face and focused on her body. She trusted that Fallon loved her —whether or not she said it. Savannah didn’t need words. What she had was so much more precious than that.

She had trust.

She had hope.

She had someone who was willing to act on their love rather than just say it.

Fallon was doing that. She’d been there for Savannah more times than she could count. She’d made herself very clear in what she could and couldn’t provide. Savannah cried out, her pleasure pulling her to a pinnacle. She waited for it to wash through her and fill her from head to toe.

Savannah’s breath left her in an instant as she was overcome with her orgasm, made clean from the trepidation that had filled her so much before, from the worry and fear, from the problems she faced—if only for this brief moment. When she fell to Fallon’s side, one leg cast over hers, those pains and worries seeped back into her just as she knew they should.

“I didn’t expect this when I showed up tonight,” Fallon played her fingers over Savannah’s thigh, tickling her lightly.

“I didn’t expect you to come tonight at all.”

Fallon snorted lightly, which was the only sign Savannah noticed of her innuendo. “Next time I’ll be more prepared.”

“Next time?” Savannah teased. “You sure this isn’t a one-time only thing again? Maybe go back to our previous arrangement?”

“No.” Fallon snagged Savannah’s chin lightly and pulled their faces close. “No, we’re not going back to what we were. I’m not sure we ever could.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Savannah grinned broadly. “Because I don’t want to go back either.”

“Never,” Fallon agreed, bringing Savannah’s hand to her lips. “We’ve been through too much for that.”

“Absolutely.” Savannah moved quickly, kissing Fallon. She wanted to keep falling into Fallon’s arms over and over again, all night. She didn’t want to leave unless she had to, and she certainly didn’t want to give up this monumental moment. “I’m not done with you yet.”

“Thank God.”