Chapter 28

twenty-eight

Savannah pulled up outside the fast-food restaurant. She’d never wanted it to come to this, but for now, this was what she was going to have to deal with. Brinley was stashed in the backseat of her car, nervously biting her nails and saying nothing as she twisted her neck side to side as she looked for her father’s car.

Forrest was late.

Ten minutes had ticked by slowly, and shifted into twenty. The police officer parked next to Savannah was getting restless, that much was certain. He’d come over three times already to ask if Savannah had heard from Forrest and whether or not he was showing. But she’d been ordered not to poke the bear by Kevin, so she’d been scared to even text Forrest and ask for an ETA.

“Brin, if Dad doesn’t get here in the next thirty minutes, we’re going to go home, all right?” It really had to be forty minutes before the police officer was going to leave. She’d only paid for one hour, the mandatory minimum. Perhaps this was Forrest’s plan all along.

Waste more of Savannah’s money.

Wait until the officer had to leave.

Drive her up a wall one fucking minute at a time.

She hated that Brinley had to go there until this was over. But Savannah wouldn’t let her fear get the best of her, at least not in front of Brinley. She had to keep her daughter out of this as much as she could. She deserved the smoothest transition possible and to not be shoved into the middle of the custody battle—at least any more than she already had.

“When do I come home again?”

“Monday after school. I’ll be there to pick you up.” Savannah always tried her best to be there those days. She wanted to make sure to capture Brinley’s emotions every single chance she could, to give her all the support she needed.

“Okay.”

They sat in silence until the eleventh hour, when Forrest finally pulled up in his car. He pulled up on the opposite side of the police car and immediately got out.

“It’s time, Brin.”

Climbing out of her car, Savannah held her shoulders square and her chin up high. She wasn’t going to let Forrest talk bad at her or put her down. She walked with Brinley next to her as they went toward Forrest’s car. With one final hug and a kiss, Savannah said her goodbyes and sent Brinley the rest of the way on her own.

She hated doing that, but the more space she could keep between her and Forrest, the better. She didn’t even wait for Brinley to get into his car before she walked back to hers, slammed the door, and pulled out of the parking lot.

She couldn’t stop here.

Not where he could see her break down.

This was worse than the first time she’d had to do it. Tears seared their way down her cheeks, stinging her eyes and clogging up her nose. Savannah drove to the first place she could think of and parked outside.

Fallon had said if she needed something, and this was a huge ask.

But Savannah was here.

She dried her cheeks and tried to make it look like she wasn’t crying before she gave up. There was no hiding it this time. Climbing out of her car, Savannah looked around to make sure that Forrest hadn’t followed her. It’d been a stressful habit in the last week, ever since the papers were served. And it was one she probably wasn’t going to let up on soon.

The walk up to Fallon’s was quick. All Savannah could do was hope that Fallon was actually home tonight. The wait at the door was terrifying. Savannah shoved her hands into her pockets and waited as patiently as possible, which was not at all. Finally, the locks clicked, and Fallon opened the door.

“You said if I needed something.”

Fallon’s lips parted in surprise, her eyes narrowing in concern, but she opened the door and stepped back, allowing Savannah to come inside. Doing the only thing she could think of, Savannah stepped straight into Fallon, wrapping her arms around Fallon’s middle and burying her face in Fallon’s shoulder.

Fallon tensed, but then reached around Savannah’s back and pulled her in, her hands moving up and down Savannah’s back in a slow and steady motion. This was exactly what Savannah had needed. They held still, holding onto each other until Savannah backed away.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.”

Fallon said nothing, but she moved to the door and locked it. Which sealed the deal. Savannah was staying.

“I can’t burden Kyla with this.”

“Are you going to tell me what this is?”

“I served Forrest. I’m taking him back to court, fighting for full custody.” Savannah shook as she reached for Fallon’s hand. For some reason, she needed touch. “I had to drop her off with him.”

“That’s why you were so scared the other night.”

Nodding, Savannah held onto Fallon. “I served him that night. Kevin Brock—he’s my lawyer. Athena gave me his name. But we were worried that Forrest would try something.”

Fallon sighed heavily. “And did he?”

“Just harassing phone calls and texts. That's why my phone was off.”

“Ah.” Fallon pressed her lips hard into a line. She led Savannah to the couch and sat down, lowering the volume on the television until it was next to impossible to hear it. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because I didn’t think you wanted to know.” Savannah hated it, but it was the truth. They were at such an odd place in their relationship, having talked but still not really come to a resolution. Not that much had changed in the last week other than Fallon’s heroic nature showing its face.

“And now you think I do?” Fallon raised an eyebrow at her. “I’m not trying to pry, Savannah, but you have to admit, this is quite a change.”

“Yeah, I know.” Savannah worried her hands together. She wished she’d sat closer to Fallon, once again needing that physical contact to center herself. “Tell me I didn’t make a mistake.”

“Which decision are you talking about?” Fallon plucked invisible lint off her pants.

“Letting Brinley go with him.”

“I don’t imagine you had much of a choice on that one.” Fallon stretched her legs out, resting her feet on the small table next to the couch. “Court orders and all that.”

“I could have fought harder for a protection order.”

“If you’re going to doubt every decision that you make, and if you’re going to backpedal and worry about them, this is going to be an even longer lawsuit than you anticipate, and I’m not sure that you’ll come out whole on the other side.” Fallon’s cheeks hollowed.

“You still haven’t answered my question.” Savannah wasn’t sure why she was pushing for this so hard. She already knew what Fallon thought—that she wasn’t doing enough to protect Brinley from everything, from him.

Fallon sighed heavily and rubbed her temples before letting her hands fall into her lap. Savannah had never seen her this frustrated before, but surely that’s what this was. Exasperation. Frustration. Annoyance. All bundled into one whopping feeling. Maybe even a little pity in the mix.

“I think you’re making the best decisions that you can with the information you have and the resources you have.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I’m not the person to ask these questions to. You should be asking Kevin.”

“I don’t trust him. Not like I trust you,” Savannah whispered the last bit, scared to admit those words out loud.

“I don’t know anything about custody cases.” Fallon pointed her toes toward the wall before she ran her fingers through her hair. Savannah was entranced by movement, by the way that even in a moment like this Fallon seemed to have everything together even though Savannah knew she didn’t. They were both traumatized individuals just struggling to take life one day at a time. “Kevin’s very good at his job.”

“What if he wins?”

“He won’t.” Fallon reached over and snagged Savannah’s hand. “If Kevin thought Forrest had a chance in hell, he wouldn’t have taken your case.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.” Fallon squeezed Savannah’s fingers. “You’re making the right choice, Savannah. You need to do something different than before.”

Savannah nodded and stared down at their joined fingers. She wanted Fallon to hold her, cradle her, whisper sweet nothings that made the big bad world outside vanish. But what was most shocking about that revelation was that Savannah trusted that Fallon could do that.

“I wanted to tell you the other night, I really did.” Savannah kept her hand in Fallon’s, scared that if she were to let go that Fallon would never touch her again.

“Why didn’t you?”

Savannah shrugged slightly. “Call it fear.”

“Was it only fear?” Fallon pulled her closer. “Or was it something else?”

“Fear,” Savannah reiterated. Her heart raced. She was going to have to tell Fallon exactly what was happening, and she needed to get the words out as soon as possible to stop the tension between them, to end the standstill, at least she hoped it would. “I’m scared of making the same mistake twice.”

“What do you mean?” Fallon’s brow furrowed.

“You came in the other week hot and ready for a fight, ready to win a battle that you didn’t even know existed. But it didn’t exist. There was nothing for you there. Just me.”

“I came to protect you,” Fallon whispered.

“I know.” Savannah gave her a weak smile. “And thank you for that because it did show me one thing.”

“What’s that?” Fallon kept her grip tight on Savannah’s hand.

“That you care when you told me you wouldn’t.”

Fallon sucked in a sharp breath.

“I need someone I can rely on, someone who’s willing to go into the trenches with me. I need a friend.” Savannah winced at that. It was true, but there was also so much more than that.

“I can’t be your friend,” Fallon said slowly, no doubt choosing her words carefully. She always seemed to do that.

“I need a friend,” Savannah repeated. “Can’t we just go back to the way we were, before all this drama. When we were relying on each other and sharing with each other? When we first met? Well, maybe not then, but the few times after that.”

“No,” Fallon said firmly.

“No?” Savannah pulled away, her heart threatening to shatter into a million little pieces. “I just did the hardest thing in my life, and you’re going to tell me that we can’t be friends again?”

“We can’t.” Fallon shifted slightly, putting even more space between them. “I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t?” Savannah wanted to get up and pounce. She wanted to scream and yell and get the answers faster, but if there was anything she’d learned about Fallon in the last few months it was that these things took time.

“I can’t be your friend again, not like it was before.” Fallon’s cheeks pinked, the color showing against her skin in a way that was glorious on her. What the hell was she thinking about?

“You’re not making any sense. We were friends first. Surely we can go back—”

“We can’t.” Fallon’s words were sharp, loud. They reverberated throughout the room.

Savannah normally would have cowered down, but she didn’t. There was pain underlying those words, and she heard it loud and clear.

“I can’t be your friend without wanting more.” Fallon raised her gaze, meeting Savannah’s. “I’ll always want more.”

“Oh.” Savannah held her breath, the pressure in her chest increasing by the second until she finally forced herself to breathe. “But what I need is a friend.”

“I know.” Fallon frowned, the sad look torturing her gaze even more. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”

“No, it wasn’t. I was just supposed to put flowers on a grave and head on to my first appointment with a new lawyer. I wasn’t supposed to meet you.” Savannah fell back into the couch, her shoulders rounding as the energy was sucked right out of her.

“I’m not convinced of that.”

They fell into silence, Savannah staying on her end of the couch while Fallon stayed on the opposite. What were they supposed to do now? Savannah had shown up a mess, Fallon had administered the attention she needed, but now she was refusing any more. And it was the more that Savannah craved.

But Fallon wasn’t willing to give it to her, and she couldn’t force it. She would never dream of doing that.

“I’m struggling, Fallon.”

“We both are.” Fallon looked at her again, that same sadness sweeping over her stunning features. “I think you should leave for now.”

“But—”

“It’s time to go, Savannah. You’re back on your feet, you’ve gotten the advice you needed, and it’s time for you to go home and figure out what your next step is.”

“Is that what you truly want?” Savannah was going to give Fallon one more chance to change her mind, one more minute where she could come back and tell her to stay, when all of this would change for the better.

“For now, yes.” Fallon stood up and walked toward the kitchen, leaving Savannah in the dust. “Feel free to see yourself out.”

“What?” Savannah asked, knowing that her voice was too quiet for Fallon to hear her. Savannah immediately stood up and followed Fallon. She wasn’t ready to leave, not just yet, not without knowing that they were truly through. “When will I see you again?”

“Soon, I imagine.”

“I have an appointment with Athena in a few weeks.”

Fallon gave a wan smile. “I promised Brinley to help her with something, so I’ll see you then.”

“Help her with what?” Savannah furrowed her brow, her stomach plummeting.

“It’s a surprise. I promised I wouldn’t tell you. Just trust me that you’ll like it.” Fallon poured herself a glass of wine. It seemed like forever ago that she’d found that gift. She hadn’t even known if Fallon liked it at the time, but surely that move meant she did. Surely it meant that Savannah had done something right.

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“I’m telling you that our friendship is over.” Fallon took a slow sip of her wine before setting the glass down.

“But you’ll be friends with my daughter.”

Shaking her head, Fallon tensed. “I’ll always be there for Brinley if she needs me in a crisis, please believe that. But after this one promise, I won’t be fostering a relationship with her.”

“Or me?” Savannah asked, even though by now it was very clear what Fallon had meant.

“Or you.” Fallon leaned against the kitchen counter. “I can’t be your friend anymore.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” Savannah stepped closer. “I know it’s something.”

Fallon’s breath caught in her throat, and her gaze dropped from Savannah’s eyes to her lips. Her pupils dilated, her lips parted and quivered. The pulse in her neck thrummed. Savannah saw each and every sign, and she knew exactly what Fallon wasn’t saying. There was too much between them. Perhaps there always had been.

“You’re not perfect,” Savannah murmured, finally understanding what Fallon had told her ages ago. “I’m not perfect.”

“No one is,” Fallon said.

Savannah looked Fallon directly in the eye, the world around her halting. At least this small piece of it. She finally understood. This wouldn’t work. They hadn’t done it right from the start. In fact, everything they’d had from the moment they had met had been off-kilter and out of whack.

“Right.” Sucking in a long breath, Savannah let it out slowly as she took a step away. “I guess I’ll see you around then.”

“See you around,” Fallon agreed.

Walking away, Savannah couldn’t help but wonder—had she made another wrong decision?