Chapter 25

twenty-five

Fallon chewed her nail, a nasty habit she’d broken nearly a decade ago coming back in full force. Athena had already scolded her once today for it, but she couldn’t stop herself. She hadn’t been able to get Savannah and their last conversation off her mind. No matter how many times she checked her phone, Savannah hadn’t called or texted, and she’d been too chickenshit to initiate something.

But Savannah was coming in today.

And there wouldn’t be any chance of avoiding her any longer. The closer the hour got to the time of Savannah’s appointment, the more Fallon’s nerves reared up in her stomach. With five minutes to go—and Savannah was always on time—Fallon was trying not to vomit all over her desk.

The door clicked open, and Fallon’s gaze was riveted to it. Savannah stepped inside, stopping short just past the doorway. A large, black purse hung from her forearm as she looked directly at Fallon. They stared in silence, and Fallon had no idea what to say to break it.

She shouldn’t have let it go on this long, that was for sure. She should have talked to Savannah before they had to see each other here, where they couldn’t talk, where they didn’t have complete privacy.

“I’m so sorry,” Fallon said, knowing that Savannah had no clue what she was apologizing for.

“Is Ms. Pruitt out today?” Savannah frowned, but she did step closer to Fallon’s desk.

Shaking her head, Fallon tried again. “For not calling or texting.”

“Oh.” Savannah’s lips thinned into a line.

Fallon longed to see them curl up into a smile. She wanted to know that Savannah was happy again, that joy was reaching down inside her and lifting her up, that she wasn’t an empty shell of who she’d once been.

“I should have—” Fallon started.

“You’re not the only one—” Savannah stopped as they spoke at the same time.

Fallon nearly smiled at the coincidence, but she stopped herself. Standing up, she strode straight to Savannah and reached for her hand before stopping. Clenching an empty fist, Fallon nodded toward the conference room.

Athena stepped out, breaking the silent conversation that Fallon didn’t dare to say out loud. Athena’s gaze landed on both of them, flicking between them, before she settled on Savannah. “No gifts for my office admin today? She’ll be disappointed I’m sure.”

Fallon choked. If she could have gotten away with groaning, she would have. But she wasn’t going to manage that without alerting Athena to the fact that something else was going on. And she really didn’t want that.

“Uh… I was a bit busy this week.” Savannah’s cheeks were a bright red.

Fallon stepped toward the conference room and held open the door. “Do you want me to take notes today, Ms. Pruitt?” She needed the awkward probing to end immediately. And the best way to do that was to distract Athena into work, which was rather easy.

“No, I don’t think so,” Athena said as she stepped past Fallon and into the conference room. She didn’t look over at Savannah as she went right in.

Fallon, however, locked her gaze on Savannah’s awkward stance and willed her to move. She wasn’t sure how long she could stand here and wait for Savannah to make her next move. They stared at each other, again cast into a battle where neither of them was willing to make the first move. Eventually, Savannah started in Fallon’s direction. She said nothing as she walked by. She didn’t even look up into Fallon’s curious gaze.

Sighing as she shut the door, Fallon sat down at her desk. She busied herself with work and tried to ignore the fact that Savannah was mere feet away, huddled in a room with her boss, and they had barely spoken more than three sentences to each other before they had to stop.

She should have texted before today. She shouldn’t have waited until avoidance was no longer an option. Cringing, Fallon struggled to focus, barely making headway on any of the work on her to do list. Finally when Athena exited and handed her a new list of things to do and disappeared into her office, Fallon couldn’t wait.

She jumped up from her desk and beelined it to the small conference room. She shut the door behind her and leaned against it before she stepped away and sat across from Savannah. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you sooner.”

“Same,” Savannah whispered, flicking her gaze to the door. “Do you want to talk about this here?”

“Where else?”

“MILF Wine?” Savannah slid the papers on the table into a binder. Fallon was so curious what was in there.

“Give me thirty minutes.” Fallon opened the door to walk out and stopped short. Athena stood right in front of her, an eyebrow raised and her arms crossed. “Y-yes, Ms. Pruitt.”

“You’re free to leave now.”

“What?” Fallon’s heart stuttered, her stomach dropping, and the nausea that had been so visceral an hour ago came rushing back.

“Excuse us a minute.” Athena turned on her toes and walked straight into her office.

Fallon tossed a look over her shoulder at Savannah, one full of worry and pity, but she said nothing as she followed Athena. Being tossed in the waves felt like an accurate description of what she was experiencing right now, and she had no idea where she was going to land—a sunny beach or the craggy rocks.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on between you and Savannah yet?”

“Uh…” Fallon’s voice vanished in an instant. Her heart thundered so loud that she couldn’t control it. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

Athena pursed her lips and crossed her arms. She widened her stance, and she wasn’t about to back down. Fallon had seen that look before. She’d been on the receiving end of it before, although it’d been awhile since that happened. “Do me the dignity of not lying to me.”

Fallon winced. “I don’t know what’s going on between us.”

“That’s better.” Athena moved to her desk and leaned against the edge of it. “Monti wasn’t detailed. In fact, she took great pains to avoid any information about the two of you, but I know something happened at Saylor’s birthday party.”

“Thank God you weren’t there.” Fallon winced again. She sounded like an absolute jerk. Athena rarely came to family events, and definitely not parties. She wasn’t a crowd person if she could avoid it.

“What happened?”

“Savannah showed up. She’s Saylor’s boss.”

Athena hummed, her eyes fluttering shut as she shook her head. “Nothing ever comes without complications.”

“Now you sound like Monti.”

“She’s pretty smart.” Athena lifted her shoulder and dropped it. “It might help you to take some of her advice.”

“She’s nosy.”

“She cares about you and what happens to you. She doesn’t want to see you hurt.” Athena bit her lip before popping it from her teeth. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Fallon stilled. Athena had never spoken to her like that before. She’d never said that she cared about what happened to Fallon so directly. Or anyone else besides her own family for that matter.

“So what’s going on?” Athena asked, her voice lowering.

“I don’t know. I thought maybe something more could be there, but then some things happened, and I don’t know where we stand with each other.” Fallon ran her fingers through her hair. She was ready to collapse. She needed someone to wrap her in a hug and just hold her, and she wanted that to be Savannah. But Savannah was the one who was causing her so much distress.

“Then why don’t you go find out.” Athena nodded toward the door. “I need you to not be so distracted when you come to work tomorrow.”

That’s what this was about. Work. Athena didn’t care about Fallon because they were practically sisters-in-law. She cared because Fallon hadn’t been doing a good job at work that week.

“Yes, Ms. Pruitt.” Fallon nodded. She didn’t wait as she left the room and found Savannah standing awkwardly at her desk. “Let’s go.”

“To MILF Wine?”

Fallon didn’t answer as she grabbed her purse and walked straight toward the door. She waited until Savannah followed her out and then locked the door behind her.

“You’re making me nervous,” Savannah muttered.

“Yeah, me too.” Fallon snagged Savannah by the arm and pulled her in close. She stared into Savannah’s bright brown eyes. “MILF Wine.” The desire to lean in and press their mouths together was just as strong as the first time they’d stood like this in the hallway. But this time, Fallon knew exactly what it would feel like, what Savannah would taste like, how they’d move together.

“You’re going to have to stop looking at me like that if you want to get there.”

Fallon cleared her throat and stepped back. She gritted her teeth to keep herself from saying anything stupid. Jabbing the elevator button, Fallon waited in silence. She couldn’t screw this up. It would affect so much in her life. Not just her personal life, but her work life and her family life—the family she was just beginning to get back.

They reached the parking garage, and Savannah pulled on Fallon’s hand to stop her forward motion. “Wait a minute.”

“For what?” Fallon was about to keep walking. If she could have just a few more minutes to avoid, then she would take them. Even if she knew she shouldn’t.

Savannah reached up, cupping Fallon’s cheek. She moved up on her toes and pressed their lips together. Fallon moaned. Her heart fluttered; her body tingled. Fallon leaned into Savannah’s touch, her eyes closing as she parted her lips. She could so easily fall into Savannah every day if she let herself. And a part of her wanted to do that. A part of her wanted to fall into Savannah’s arms, let Savannah hold her and care for her, and never leave.

But that other part, the one that was afraid, the one that knew this was a bad idea, wouldn’t let her. Taking a step forward, Fallon pushed Savannah back. She had no idea where they were going to end up, all she knew was that she wanted to move. She wanted to sink into Savannah, three knuckles deep, face buried between her legs, entire body poised for whatever Savannah wanted next.

“I want you in my life,” Savannah whispered when she pulled back.

Fallon’s brain took more than a few seconds to catch up. She moved away slightly, shaking her head. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“I know.” Savannah looked around the parking garage. “So where do we go from here?”

“I want you to know that it’s not because I don’t want to.” Fallon stumbled over her words. She wasn’t even sure what she was saying, but she knew they were from the heart. “I want you.”

“You can have me, Fallon. There’s nothing stopping you but yourself.”

“I know that.” Fallon gripped the strap on her purse tightly. She had no idea what to say or where to go from here. “I know this is on me.”

“Forrest can’t touch you.” Savannah clenched her jaw. “I won’t let him.”

“I’m not worried about that.” Fallon took a deep breath, holding it for a count of three in her chest. “I’m worried about you and Brinley.”

“I’m taking care of that.”

“He’s an abusive asshole. You don’t know what he’s capable of.” Frustration rang through her tone, hitting every nerve that she had and lighting it on fire.

“I know exactly what he’s capable of. You don’t. I’ve been dealing with him for more than a decade. Trust me. I know what I’m up against.” Savannah lowered her voice. “You don’t get to tell me what he’s capable of. Ever.”

“But it won’t stop me from worrying about you and Brin.” Fallon softened her tone, needing Savannah to understand exactly how worried she was, how this was going to interfere with any part of their relationship going forward.

“Forrest isn’t your father.”

Fallon halted. She stiffened. “I know he’s not.”

“Do you?” Savannah pushed.

Backed into a corner, Fallon wanted to flee for her life. She wanted to run away and not look back, but the look Savannah gave her was so sincere. “I know he’s not,” she repeated.

“Then give me a chance to deal with him in my own way.”

“I don’t know if I can do that. A relationship is asking a lot of me, but to not call out abuse when I see it?”

“I’m not asking you to not call it out. I’m asking you to let me be in control of how I deal with it.” Savannah squared her shoulders. “That’s all I need.”

Fallon fought for words. “I can’t let you—either of you—be hurt. And if you’re not okay with that, then this won’t work out between us.”

“This is my fight.”

“It’s not just your fight if I’m there with you.” Fallon stepped back and waited. “So where does that leave us, Savannah? Are we together or not?”

“I…don’t know.” Savannah frowned.

“Call me when you do.” Fallon didn’t touch her, even though she wanted to. She simply walked away. Her heels clicked on the concrete floor as she walked toward her car and slid behind the wheel. She was crumbling. There was no other word for it.

Somewhere along the way, she’d fallen in love. Not just in love, but head over heels in love, not just with Savannah but with Brinley. But to watch them suffer? To allow Forrest to continue to run them over? Fallon wasn’t sure she could manage that. And if Savannah didn’t take a hard line with Forrest, then Fallon couldn’t be in a relationship with her.

It would hurt too much.

And not just her.