Chapter 22

twenty-two

What the hell was she doing here?

Savannah gripped onto the edge of the counter as soon as Tia brushed by her and followed Fallon wherever she’d gone. Fallon was absolutely going to think that Savannah was stalking her now, as if the accusation when they’d met all those months ago hadn’t been hard enough to deny, but showing up here? She should have put the pieces together, but they rarely talked about work. In fact, Fallon made it a point not to talk about work, which meant Savannah had never talked about Saylor.

And they’d never talked about the fact that Saylor’s girlfriend was Fallon’s aunt.

Savannah took over for Tia, making a few drinks and handing them out before she made herself a very strong one and chugged half of it quickly. Then she stopped and set it on the counter. If she was going to be leaving sooner than expected, she really shouldn’t be drinking.

She couldn’t believe that she’d left Brinley with Kyla for this. Fallon wouldn’t even talk to her. She knew that was going to be a fact. She’d stay hidden away until she could escape, and she would be left on her own in a sea of mostly people she didn’t know. Her nerves had been bad enough to begin with coming here at Saylor’s invitation, but add in Fallon’s upset?

What were they even doing together?

Savannah was walking on eggshells around Fallon, and all of that had changed since the last time they spent the night together. No matter what Savannah did, she always seemed to end up in relationships with people who couldn’t handle themselves. In turn, that meant she was the one running circles to try and keep from upsetting them.

“Thank you so much for coming.” Saylor stepped into the open kitchen and leaned against the counter right next to where Savannah had stationed herself.

“Thank you for the invitation.” Savannah plastered a smile on her lips and started mixing another drink for anyone who wanted to grab one. She could easily fall into the role of kitchen wench and disappear in here for hours if it’d be allowed. It would give her some sense of purpose in the sea of strangers.

Saylor touched Savannah’s arm lightly before pulling back and grinning. “Did you see where Tia ran off to?”

“She’s in the bedroom with Fallon and Monti, I think.” Savannah bit the inside of her cheek. She hoped that Saylor wouldn’t catch just how much Savannah knew that she shouldn’t, that she understood who the family was, the three women that everything centered around. She and Saylor were simply outsiders.

“You met Fallon then? She’s hard to read.” Saylor crossed her arms in a half-pout as she took the drink Savannah made and sipped at it.

“Yeah, she can be,” Savannah muttered under her breath, half-hoping that Saylor didn’t hear her.

“She scares me,” Saylor mumbled. “The first time I met her, it was like walking into a firing squad.”

Savannah snorted. She could absolutely see that, especially now knowing that Saylor was dating Tia. If there was one thing that Savannah understood about Fallon, it was that she was fiercely protective of the people she thought were hers. That would absolutely include Tia and Monti, and likely Athena as well. The question remained whether or not Savannah would ever fall into that category—or even Brinley.

“She’s just got this sour puss look on her face all the time.”

“The perfect resting bitch face,” Savannah chimed back. “I know it well.”

Saylor’s brow furrowed, and her gaze dropped to Savannah’s hands before moving back up to her face. “How do you know Fallon? Surely you didn’t just meet her.”

“That’s a long story.” Savannah ducked her chin and reached for her half-drunk cup. Maybe she would drink it all and she’d take a rideshare home instead. She took a small sip and decided against it. She needed to keep herself together throughout this entire confrontation, and yes, she knew without a doubt that it was going to be a confrontation. “I just can’t seem to escape her. She’s everywhere.”

“And you want to escape her?” Saylor crossed her arms, one eyebrow rising to the sky.

Savannah knew her well enough at this point to understand that she wasn’t going to be able to get out of this conversation now. Since Saylor had come to work for her a few months ago, she had blossomed. She’d gone from being reclusive and quiet to being confident and bubbly, as if she had woken up from a long sleep.

“I don’t want to escape her.” Savannah flicked her gaze to the bedroom Fallon had vanished into. Escaping Fallon was the last thing on her mind, but she was very conscientious of the space around them, and making sure that Fallon was as comfortable as she could be with that space. “I want her to come to me on her own terms.”

Saylor looked confused, and Savannah could understand why. No one knew they were together, even though their relationship had been ongoing for a while at that point. Before now there hadn’t been anything to tell, and even now, Savannah wasn’t sure what she could say. They’d started the conversation about changing the rules of their relationship but they’d never defined anything. Which left her in quite a spot.

Were they dating?

Were they in a committed relationship?

Was it okay for Savannah to say more or did she still have to maintain that line?

“We’re tentatively together, but we haven’t had a moment to sit down and really talk things through yet,” Savannah finally said, choosing her words carefully. Saylor was pragmatic to her core, probably too much so, but that meant she would understand what Savannah wasn’t saying.

Which was that she was lost.

And she didn’t have anyone other than Kyla to help her sort through things.

And she really needed to call Kyla.

That’s what she would do on her way home. Then maybe by tomorrow morning she’d have her head on straight and she could clearly walk through the conversation that she and Fallon desperately needed to have.

“You’re dating Fallon?” Saylor shook her head in bewilderment. “I can’t imagine anyone dating her.”

“We’re not…dating. At least not yet. Like I said, she and I still have a lot to discuss, and me showing up here unexpectedly into her world wasn’t part of that plan.” Savannah twisted her cup between her fingers, debating again whether or not to have another sip.

Saylor laughed lightly. “If there’s one thing that I’ve learned about this family, it’s that none of them like surprises. Tia’s probably the best with them, but only if it’s something that she considers fun and exciting. If it’s an emotional blow, whether it’s good or bad, they will hate it and they will all close in on themselves.”

Savannah’s brow drew together. “What do you mean?”

“Meaning that Tia being in a relationship with me was a blow to both Fallon and Monti, whether or not they want to admit that. It’s shaken the three of them in a way they didn’t expect. Monti and Athena wasn’t such a blow because Monti kept them at a distance for the most part until Athena. So it’s far more like Tia’s gotten her back.”

Savannah didn’t know Fallon at all. That much had never been as clear as it was now. She didn’t understand or know the family dynamics. She hadn’t been invited into that space. And while she hadn’t expected it before, they had been seeing each other for months now and surely she should have picked up on some of this by now. Right?

“How long will the three of them stay in there?” Savannah finally asked, trying to judge whether or not she had time to absorb this new information.

“I don’t know. I don’t think the three of them have been in the same room together since I’ve been with Tia, at least not to my recollection.”

“When’s the last time…” Savannah trailed off, not sure if she could finish that question. She couldn’t imagine not talking to Conrad every day. The only reason they weren’t doing that now was because he was dead, and she still had daily texts with Kyla and her parents. They were a close-knit family, and she couldn’t imagine walking through life without them.

“I think Tia said it’s been at least seven years. It was for her birthday one year.” Saylor finished her drink and immediately turned to make another one. “They’re an odd family. I always just chalked it up to what happened.”

At least Savannah did know about that. Well, the basics of it, from her own research primarily but with a few hints of what Fallon had told her here and there. But what if it was more than that? What if Fallon wasn’t as interested in keeping those relationships and building them in the ways that Savannah valued? Maybe they weren’t as compatible as she’d thought. Maybe it really was just good sex and nothing else.

“Fallon’s always been the odd one out, if you ask me,” Saylor added. “She’s really hard to get to know, but I think she saw the worst of what happened compared to Tia or even Monti.”

“I’d agree with that.” Savannah stared into her cup and then set it on the counter. “You wouldn’t be offended if I left early, would you?”

“What?” Saylor’s face fell, the happiness that had been there disappeared in almost an instant. “Most of the people here are Tia’s friends, and my friends by proxy. You and Jericho are really the only ones here for me.”

Savannah looked around the room again, realizing for the first time that she was the only one there from the rink. True, Saylor hadn’t worked there for long, but surely she’d made some connections and friends with the other coaches, hadn’t she? If not, then Savannah was falling down on her job. They needed to become like a family in order for the coaches to trust each other.

She’d add that to her list of things to look out for and work on. Saylor needed to feel like she was part of the family—she deserved it. Savannah rolled her shoulders and glanced around the small apartment and the people milling throughout it.

“I don’t want to dampen the mood with my drama,” Savannah stated quietly, hoping it would be enough of an explanation for Saylor to understand.

“This isn’t drama.”

“It will be,” Savannah countered. “I know Fallon fairly well at this point, and she’s upset that I’m here, mostly because she didn’t know it was coming. Like you said, she doesn’t like surprises.”

Saylor shrugged her shoulders. “Are you here for you or for her?”

“I’m here for you, ” Savannah countered with a quirk to her lips. “Not everyone invites me to their birthday parties, you know.” That wasn’t quite true. She was invited to most of the parties that were associated with people at the rink, but that didn’t mean she went to everything. She always tried to put in an appearance though, make a good impression when she showed up. Who it was and what it was for would determine how long she stayed. She’d planned on staying most of the night for Saylor. But that was before seeing Fallon and watching her race off with no explanation.

“I’m not sure I can be with someone who isn’t going to tell me what’s going on,” Savannah said, following her own train of thought rather than the conversation she and Saylor had started.

“You know, change is hard. It really is, and I think the more ingrained we are in our habits and the more reason we have for keeping those protections in place, the harder change is to make. Don’t count her out yet.” Saylor locked her eyes on Savannah. “There’s always hope.”

Shaking her head, Savannah straightened her shoulders. “There might be hope, but I’m not sure I’m willing to be with someone whose immediate response is always going to be anger. I’ve…” Savannah paused briefly, unsure whether to share this or not. Saylor hadn’t been around during her divorce, so she wouldn’t know, and she’d kept as much of it hidden from her staff as she could throughout that time. But she also couldn’t complain about Fallon’s lack of vulnerability when she was struggling to do the same. “I’ve been with someone whose go-to was anger before, and I’m still untangling that web of abuse. I won’t subject myself or Brinley to a repeat of a relationship like that.”

“Oh.” Saylor pressed her lips together, thinning them out. “That makes perfect sense, honestly. I don’t think anyone would fault you for that.”

“That’s my hesitation with Fallon. I need someone who’s willing to be open with me, someone who’s willing to trust that I won’t stomp on their needs and emotions just to get my own met. I’m not sure Fallon is able to trust that.” Savannah stared at the door like she could see Fallon, Tia, and Monti.

“Don’t count her out yet,” Saylor said, glancing toward the door. “From what Tia tells me, something big is happening in the family. She’s just not sure which direction it’ll go yet.”

“I’m not sure I can risk waiting.”

“Then don’t. You and Brin come first.”

“Brin definitely does.” Savannah crossed her arms. “I’m going to head out.”

“See you on Monday,” Saylor chimed.

“See you.”

Savannah left immediately. She didn’t want to see Fallon when she came out of the bedroom, and she certainly didn’t want to make any more waves than she already had. As soon as she was in the car, she called Kyla to go pick up Brinley early. She’d vent as soon as she was there and then head home for a quiet night in.

She needed the time to think.