Chapter 10

ten

Fallon: I really hope you like oral, because I want to bury my face between your legs.

Savannah gulped. She hadn’t anticipated the not-safe-for-work content of that text message. Closing out of it as quickly as possible, she glanced around the room to make sure that no one underage had accidentally read it. But why would they? Brinley and everyone else were playing in the backyard.

“What are you blushing about?” Kyla poked.

“Nothing,” Savannah said way too quickly. There was no way she was going to be able to hide this one. Kyla would call her out on it in two seconds flat.

“You should know better than to lie to me.” Kyla plucked Savannah’s phone from her fingers and stared at the text that was somehow still open on the screen.

Savannah’s cheeks were on fire.

“Oh my God. Oh my God! Savannah!”

“Shut up.” Savannah snatched her phone back and immediately closed the app. Now her entire body was on fire, embarrassment all but consuming her.

“No! I won’t! Are you dating someone?”

“Shh.” Savannah glanced furiously around the room. “I don’t want Brin to know.”

“Are you really?”

“No, not really anyway. We’re… friends with benefits, I guess. Except I haven’t exactly gotten to the benefits portion of our friendship.”

“With that kind of text you haven’t gotten there? Well, now that I think about it, he is asking.”

“She,” Savannah corrected.

Kyla’s eyes widened in surprise but with a mischief in them still. “I stand corrected. How did this even happen?”

“I don’t know.” Savannah brushed her fingers through her hair. “And we’ve been trying to find a time to get together for two weeks now, and we haven’t managed it. Forrest’s been no help, and it’s not like I’m going to tell him why I want him to stick to the custody schedule for once in his damn life.”

“Yeah, that’s not a good idea.” Kyla waggled her eyebrows. “So you’re getting back into dating. Conrad swore he’d never see the day.”

“I’m not dating her. We’re just… attempting… to find some physical relief. If we can ever find a moment.”

Kyla chuckled as she stretched her arms over her head. “I can’t believe you’re actually trying to go on a date.”

“Again, it’s not a date.”

“Do you want me to call it a one-night stand?”

“No. It’s not that either.” Savannah shook her head wildly. “It’s more like Netflix and chill but for old people.”

Kyla dissolved into a fit of giggles. “You mean making whoopee?”

“I am not that old!” Savannah slapped her hand lightly against Kyla’s shoulder. “And neither is Fallon.”

“Is she older than you?”

Savannah nodded. “Ten years.”

“My, my, my.” Kyla had never seemed more pleased in her life. “What am I going to do with you, Savannah? It’s like you’ve gone back to high school and are finally having your wild life of living on the edge.”

“I can’t even with you.”

“You love me.”

“Of course I do.” The mood sobered, and Savannah had to blink rapidly to stop the tears from filling her eyes. She’d never thought she’d be here. Conrad was gone, and she couldn’t ask him for advice anymore. He’d never liked Forrest. What if he didn’t like Fallon?

“Oh, hon.” Kyla reached forward and squeezed Savannah’s hand. “I’ll beat her up if she’s a meanie. Heck, I’ll get Junior to do it. He’d gladly step into that role.”

Savannah shook her head, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’s not quite the same.”

“I know. It’ll never be the same again.” Kyla gave her a sad smile, but it was genuine. Savannah clung onto that thought. They were in this together. Not blood, not by marriage anymore, but brought together by a man they both loved deeply, with everything they were.

“It won’t,” Savannah said through more tears. “But it’ll be good again, at some point, it’ll be good.”

“Yeah.” Kyla reached over and wrapped her arms around Savannah’s shoulders, whispering, “And if someone’s getting laid, you deserve it more.”

Laughing again, Savannah backed away. She cleared her face of tears as her phone buzzed again.

Fallon: I hope that wasn’t too forward of me.

“You better answer her before she thinks she went and did something wrong.”

Letting out a snort, Savannah opened the app.

Savannah: It wasn’t. I’m with my sister-in-law. And yes, your face buried between my legs sounds like a dream.

She was smiling when she set her phone down. She shivered and closed her eyes again. What had gotten into her? Ever since Fallon had said she’d be willing to try some sort of sexual relationship, Savannah hadn’t been able to stop thinking about sex. She’d had so many dreams of Fallon naked, Fallon kissing, Fallon demanding, Fallon begging, Fallon, Fallon, Fallon, and here she was, hanging out with Kyla and her nieces and nephews and dreaming once again of a woman she hadn’t even touched yet.

“I’m home!” The stranger’s voice filled the living room.

Savannah instantly tensed, unsure about who this person was. She hadn’t been able to help Kyla move like she’d intended, but she had no doubts that this was the new roommate. The person who had let Kyla and her horde move in without hesitation and without requirement of rent. As much as the voice put her on edge, Savannah should probably bow down and praise the woman with everything she had.

Kyla’s watery smile instantly turned brilliant. She rolled her shoulders and shifted in her chair, pushing out another chair with her foot. The woman was wiry thin, her hair in a mess of curls held back by a straining clip.

“Savannah, you haven’t met Holli yet.”

“No, I haven’t.” Savannah sucked in a sharp breath. “Good to meet you.”

“And you. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Holli plopped onto the offered chair and immediately pulled her shoes off. Her scrubs were a dark blue, and reminded Savannah too much of the hospital and the floor where her brother had last been. Oncology. She’d never forgive those doctors and nurses—not that they deserved it, the ones who had missed his diagnosis several times, the ones who had ignored his complaints and told him he was too young to have pancreatic cancer. The others, the ones who had actually cared, they deserved every spot in Savannah’s memory.

Savannah had to swallow down that pain. It wasn’t Holli’s fault. In fact, Holli had done everything to help Kyla and the kids the moment she’d found out that Conrad was sick.

“Dinner will be ready in about an hour. It’s in the oven.”

“One of the best advantages to having you here, I think.” Holli laughed lightly as she tugged her socks off and wiggled her toes. She looked like she would have moaned if she were alone. “You’ll have to excuse me, but I need to take a quick shower to get the day’s work off me before I’m going to be presentable and sociable.”

“Don’t mind me,” Savannah answered. “I understand completely.” She wanted to say something about how thankful she was for all the help Holli was giving to Kyla, but she held her tongue. Something about that comment didn’t quite feel right.

Holli nodded, touched Kyla’s shoulder lightly, and then padded barefoot up the stairs. Savannah stayed quiet, trying to figure out what to do and say next.

“You should go out with Fallon tonight.” Kyla’s voice was quiet but confident.

“What?”

“Go out with her. Brin can stay here. She’s been begging for a sleepover since we moved in, and one more kid really isn’t going to make a difference in this house.” Kyla put her thumb over her shoulder. “Dinner’s on, and she’ll eat it like she always does, and it’ll give you some time that you desperately need.”

“I’m not desperate.”

“No, but I am, for some good gossip and details. Get out of here.”

“Kyla…”

“I’m serious.” Kyla gave her that look that would end any discussion. Conrad had described it once as the look he could never fight with. “Go.”

“I don’t even know if Fallon is available tonight.”

“Ask her.”

“I think it’d be better if I stayed around here. Brin is still struggling.”

“Savannah.” Kyla clipped her name short. There was that look again. “What’s holding you back from this?”

Shaking her head, Savannah stopped. She hadn’t thought about it like that before. She’d told Fallon that she wasn’t going to make her a priority, that Brinley would always be her first and foremost. But a sleepover at her favorite aunt’s? Where was the harm in that?

So what was the problem? Really.

Savannah shook her head and bit her lip. She lifted her gaze to meet Kyla’s and blurted out the first and only thing she could think of. “What if I’m not good at it anymore?”

“At sex?” Kyla hushed her tone in case there were any kids running around that could overhear them.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s been… well, it’s been a long fucking time, Kyla. Since Forrest.”

“You haven’t—I can’t believe I’m asking this—you haven’t been with anyone since him?”

Savannah shook her head, that same embarrassment creeping up again. “And it wasn’t like we were getting horizontal for quite some time before the divorce happened.”

“How long has it been?”

“You don’t want to know,” Savannah begged her not to ask.

“No, I kind of do now. I’m a prying sister, remember?”

Savannah wrinkled her nose and settled into the chair. “It’s been years.”

“Years?”

“Years,” Savannah confirmed with wide eyes.

“I feel like that old lady from the Titanic right now.” Kyla giggled. “Rose. It’s been eighty-four years. ”

“Shut up!” If Savannah had something to throw at her, she would have. Instead, she slapped her hands over her face and shook her head as she hid.

“Get out of here!” Kyla pointed to the door. “Seriously. Go bury your legs in some stranger's face.”

“What?” Savannah snorted. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“I know, but you know what I meant.” Kyla snagged Savannah’s phone and waved it around. “Do I need to text her for you?”

“No!” Savannah lunged, but Kyla already had the phone unlocked and was texting furiously on it. She handed the phone over with a satisfied smirk on her lips. “There. It’s done.”

Savannah: What’s your address? I’m leaving now.

“Holy fuck!” Savannah couldn’t make her gaze move from the screen.

“Did she respond yet?”

“She’s typing.” Savannah bit her lip. That had been way too forward. Fallon would know it wasn’t her texting. The question would be if she would care or if she’d use it to her advantage. Savannah gulped.

“Well?”

Savannah trembled as she turned the phone around. “She sent me her address.”

“Then I guess Auntie K is here to the rescue. Brinley!” Kyla shouted through the living room.

Brinley ran inside immediately, something she probably wouldn’t have done if Savannah had tried calling her.

“Hey, baby, wanna spend the night? You can sleep in the room with Evie and Justice.”

“Yes!” Brinley’s face lit up, stars in her eyes.

Savannah ultimately knew that this was the right thing to do. That Brinley would be safe here, that she’d have fun, and that she’d get to spend even more time with her cousins. But it still felt odd to ditch her only daughter off on family so she could go get laid.

“Give your mom a hug. We’ve got some jammies you can borrow and your mom can bring some clothes when she picks you up.”

Why was it that Kyla was leading Savannah through this like a dog on a leash? It was as if she’d never done something like this before. Well, she hadn’t, to be fair. Hugging Brinley and giving her kisses and words of love, Savannah tried to forget why she was doing this.

She was half in a daze throughout the entire drive to Fallon’s apartment, which was in a much nicer building than Savannah’s. At one point, Savannah had been fine financially. Then again, she’d been married with two incomes for the household.

Knocking on the door, Savannah panicked. She shouldn’t have just assumed. She should have probably brought her own change of clothes. Hell, she probably should have gone home and showered and cleaned herself up first. At least shaved, right? What was it that women even liked these days?

The door snicked open. Fallon stood on the other side, her dark hair around her shoulders, her eyes locked on Savannah’s, and everything about her soft, warm, and inviting. It was the exact opposite of the woman that Savannah had met in the cemetery that day months ago. That woman had been cold and shut off from everything.

“Hey,” Savannah said.

“Hey back,” Fallon responded. Except neither one of them moved.

They were frozen in time. Was Savannah supposed to make the first move or was Fallon supposed to? She couldn’t even remember any more. Everything in the elevator that one day had felt so natural, but this felt planned and stagnant, as if they were there for one thing and one thing only.

But wasn’t that just it?

They were there for one thing and one thing only.

Savannah sucked in a sharp breath, and she stepped forward. She cupped the side of Fallon’s cheek, lifted up on her toes, and pressed their mouths together. Fallon moaned. The sound shifted things in Savannah’s body, things that she’d once thought were dead, things that had sprouted to life suddenly in the last few weeks, things that yelled to be caressed.

Fallon threaded her fingers into Savannah’s hair, pulling her in even closer. Savannah stumbled, but Fallon didn’t stop. She dragged Savannah into the apartment and shut the door behind her, locking it. The three clicks from the different locks were so distinct and perfect. They sealed everything that Savannah had been afraid of away in a safe where they couldn’t be accessed.

Pressing Savannah into the wall next to the door, Fallon parted her mouth and nipped at Savannah’s lower lip, sucking it, teasing it. Her breath was hot. Savannah’s heart rampaged a beat that she knew was unsustainable. But she couldn’t catch herself.

She was floating on ecstasy and excitement.

She was lost in the anticipation of exactly what Fallon had told her was going to happen.

“Fallon,” Savannah murmured, purposely sliding her hand down the front of Fallon’s shirt, over her breast, and onto her thin waist.

Their mouths were pressed together again, firmly, confidently. Savannah’s eyes fluttered shut, and she used her body to feel, she let her body be her guide. Whining, Savannah didn’t want Fallon to stop. But Fallon pulled back, her lips twitching into that patented smile she had.

“I can’t wait to sink into you,” Fallon murmured, her lips brushing against Savannah’s.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Savannah asked, finding confidence she didn’t know she had.

“Absolutely nothing.”