Chapter Fifteen

“I can’t do it. I can’t do this mating thing anymore. I need you to take it back.” Kolton hadn’t meant to go bursting into his master’s office, but he genuinely didn’t feel there was anywhere else he could go. It’s not as though he could go running to any of his packmates, letting them all know what a failure he was in the mating stakes.

Lord Hades was alone, thank goodness. Kolton definitely didn’t want to face the consort with evidence of his failure. Lord Hades didn’t seem surprised to see him.

“Have a seat, Kolton. You’re looking distressed. Tell me what’s wrong with your new mate.”

Lord Hades sounded so calm and collected, he reminded Kolton of how Simon behaved. Perching himself on the edge of the chair, Kolton couldn’t look his master in the eyes.

“There’s nothing wrong with Simon. He’s perfect in every way. He never raises his voice. He doesn’t get upset if I do something silly. He never got angry that I thought Warner was my mate, and he had to watch me with him all that time, never saying anything or intruding. He was Warner’s primary doctor and cared for him during his illness. He’s perfect. He’s so perfect in every way, and I can’t compete with that.”

“Compete?” Lord Hades slowly swung himself left and right in his big chair. “That’s an interesting word to use. Why would you feel the need to compete with your mate? You’re meant to be equals, complementing each other in every way.”

Kolton snorted. “Well, then Simon got the short end of the deal. He got stuck with me. I can’t save him from anything, he’s got himself so completely together. He has a perfect life and a perfect house. He knows what to say in any situation. Even the consort was happy because my mate was a doctor, which is an important position in the mortal world – a position he gave up for me. He doesn’t need me in his life at all. He'd be better off going back to his job and helping real people with real needs.”

“It’s strange that you mention you can’t save him from anything,” Lord Hades said. “You know, when I met my beloved mate, I saved him from a man who wanted to sexually assault him, but in all the time that has passed since we met, I truly believe my Ali has been saving me.”

Is everyone out to confuse me today? “You’re a god,” Kolton said slowly. “You don’t need saving from anyone or anything ever.”

“Most people would think that.” Lord Hades stopped swinging in his chair, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his desk. “If you recall, you told me ancient gods couldn’t be wrong either, and while I wasn’t wrong about Warner not being your mate, I have been wrong on other things – something Ali doesn’t have an issue telling me about. I mean, if you want to consider relationship mistakes you only have to remember the Dread Queen Persephone. I still get embarrassed thinking about how long I spent trying to win her favor. She was the biggest and most public mistake I ever made.”

The shiver up Kolton’s spine was pure instinct. The queen had made a point of spreading the dread part of her title to everyone in the Underworld, hellhounds included.

“The point I am trying to make is that in all those eons, I was desperately lonely. Ali fills a hole in my heart I thought would be there forever.” Lord Hades smiled, something he’d only ever done since the consort had come into his life. “Ali saves me from that feeling every single minute of every day.”

Kolton shifted in his seat. The edge of it was poking against his butt, or maybe it was the way Lord Hades was picking at his psyche that was making him uncomfortable.

“Didn’t you pick Warner up off the streets because you were looking for a connection, too? Because you wanted to stop feeling lonely.”

“Well, yes, but that was a mistake. I realize that now.”

“Not to Warner it wasn’t. You were a blessing to him. At least that man could die in comfort, being cared for in his last minutes and believing he was cherished by you.”

“Simon said the same thing.”

“And your Simon was right. And no matter how uncomfortable it might make you feel, your helping Warner is what led you to meet Simon. Through you, the Fates were able to help someone who’s life thread was always going to be short and allow you to find your mate all at the same time.”

“Simon doesn’t need me.” The words just fell out. Lord Hades made perfect sense, but the frustration Kolton was wrestling with just wouldn’t be calmed. “You brought us into being to be protectors. Our pack protected this realm. Your reward was to send us to Earth, but ultimately we’re protectors. That was our sole reason for existence. Simon doesn’t need protection, and I don’t know how to do anything else. Surely that means he doesn’t need me in his life.”

“You’ve accomplished a lot in your long life,” Lord Hades said firmly. “I know, out of all of my hounds you were the one who resisted living on Earth the most, but you made it work. You have a successful business. You have always abided by the laws of the land, and you’ve never done anything that has caused me or any other god any concerns. Your prime directive when you were created was to protect this realm, but your pack bonds showed you there was more to life than a solitary job, and the life you’ve lived since then has proven that.”

He knows? But then, Kolton realized, of course his god would know what was in his heart. “I’ve always tried my best to make you proud.”

“And you’ve done that, Kolton, so I don’t know why you’re worrying so much about making Simon happy now. Have you asked him if he needs you?”

“I asked him if he needed saving from something. He said no.” Kolton glanced up at Lord Hades. “Not my best moment.”

“Mating isn’t about saving someone, it’s about being what your mate needs. You’ve only been together a few days. You need to spend time talking to him, learning what he needs from his partner.”

Kolton wasn’t convinced, but Lord Hades had been right about Warner when he’d been convinced at the time his master was wrong. “I still think Simon would be better off without me messing up his perfect life.”

“Would you condemn him to spend eternity alone simply because you couldn’t face talking to him? Do you want to do that to your hound who has been waiting for so long for you to find your person?”

Kolton rubbed his chest as he shook his head. He’d started missing Simon’s presence from the moment he’d zapped himself away.

“No one’s life is perfect, even if it looks that way from the outside. It’s up to you to get to know Simon and let him know he can trust you with those imperfect parts of his life.”

“Then can I save him?”

“If he needs it. But remember you’ll already be saving him from loneliness from the moment you go back.” Lord Hades’ gaze was pointed. “The one way to guarantee a relationship won’t work is by leaving it.”

“I’ll apologize to him when I get back.” Kolton stood up, recognizing the dismissal when he heard it.

“Take him a gift, as well,” Lord Hades suggested. “It doesn’t have to be big or extravagant, but something to show that you know what you did wasn’t the right move, and your apology is sincere. Ali always seems to think that is a good idea.”

Kolton couldn’t help lingering just one moment more. “What if I genuinely can’t do this, master? What if I’m the one hellhound who’s just not cut out to be a mate?”

To his surprise, Lord Hades closed his eyes and shook his head. “Please don’t be so quick to give up, my loyal hound. Your connection to me has already been passed to your mate. If your mating was to fail…the end would be absolutely final for both you and your Simon.”

“Final? You mean he wouldn’t remember who I was anymore?” At least then Simon would get another mate who was perfect for him.

“Final in that both you and Simon would be removed from the tapestry of life forevermore. You and he are bound for all time. Instead of looking for ways to escape your bonds, work with your mate to build the happily ever after you both deserve. Nothing I’ve heard you say suggests you don’t care for Simon – your biggest concern seems to be that he doesn’t care for you, and I know you’re wrong about that. Do you understand what I’m saying? I did not create you to quit, Kolton.”

Kolton gulped. That was the Lord Hades he’d been raised by. “Yes, Master,” he said, bowing low as he translocated out of the Underworld. As much as he wanted to see Simon again, he felt he should probably take his time to find a proper gift to accompany his apology first. As he arrived back in his apartment at his casino, Kolton rubbed his belly. Apparently blocking a bond so Kolton wouldn’t bother his mate didn’t extend to blocking the upset that same mate was feeling because of him. It needs to be a truly amazing gift.