16. Roark

The week we spent on planet Sha’hPihn went by in a busy blur. I performed my duties. I organized our shipments. I made the phone calls back home for our ceremony arrangements. And I visited with the authorities I’d made friends with over the last fifteen years I’d spent as captain. I’d never liked schmoozing, but it was necessary in my line of work. When people valued you they tended to give better deals—and in my case, higher quality cargo.

I’d made a few genuine friends over the years, but no one I’d consider important enough to choose to spend time with over Huu-goh. I counted down the days to the event I’d bought us tickets to attend, desperate for time with my mate where we could speak freely without language barriers.

Ushuu’s lessons were helping, and we’d been communicating more and more as of late, but there was still so much I didn’t know. Things I needed to understand if I was going to make him happy, comfortable, and carefree.

Things I wanted to know about him—simply because I cared.

As I rode back and forth across the planet, running errands throughout the week, I spent my free time writing a list. It was the most important document I’d ever written, and I spent more than a few hours fretting over its contents. There was no room for error. On the list I included everything I wanted and needed to know about my little mate. Things I’d been desperate to ask, but never been able to.

That wouldn’t be the case anymore.

There was no denying the fact that I was excited .

Far more excited than I could ever remember feeling.

Though I still experienced some anxiety as well. What if he didn’t feel the same way I did? What if, somehow, I’d misread our interactions? What if Huu-goh did not want a mate? What if his proposition had been an accident? What if I had to let him go? What if, what if, what if?

I had never been one to dwell on unpleasantness, so I quickly pushed the thoughts away.

I was too busy to doubt, even if I wanted to.

After what felt like a century, the week ended and the time for our date arrived.

I was a nervous, gray-spotted mess. Not because I wasn’t eager, but because I didn’t want to get this wrong. Which meant there was no hiding my very real concern from my current audience. My spots were on display as Ushuu helped me prepare for the night.

He’d offered, delighted by the idea of dressing me for my “date” with Huu-goh.

And I appreciated his support, more than he knew.

It was early yet, but I had a few more errands to run. Fun ones. For Huu-goh, of course. I hadn’t had a chance until now, as my schedule had been far too busy. The only reason I’d eaten all week was because Huu-goh had been surprisingly stubborn about it—procuring plates of food from the mess hall that sat untouched on the nightstand till I came home. I’d gobble them stale, but even that made me feel loved.

Loved and cared for.

In a way I hadn’t known I could.

Huu-goh had become increasingly worried about me as the week progressed, but I’d waved him off. This was a part of the job, and though it wasn’t necessarily pleasant, it was important.

I was content with that.

On one of their shopping trips Ushuu told Huu-goh where we’d be spending our Friday night. Afterward, the elder Sahrk informed me through text that my mate had been so excited he’d walked into a wall.

Just imagining that had made me laugh so hard I’d nearly walked into a wall myself.

I’d been giddy that night, anticipating Huu-goh’s reaction the moment he saw me. It was another surprise. Lately I’d been full of those. And as the pile of gifts in the corner of our room grew and Huu-goh’s words of thank you grew with it, I knew I’d made the right choice.

I wouldn’t have been angry if he’d been asleep when I made it home. It was late. Every night had been late. But when I finally arrived to our room well after dark, Huu-goh was waiting up for me.

I grinned and crossed the distance between us, my hearts in my throat.

The moment I collapsed into bed he climbed on top of me, looped his arms around my neck, and performed a happy dance.

The nanobots he’d reprogrammed zoomed around the room like they were feeding off his excitement, and I’d nuzzled the downy soft fur on his head, soaking up his chatter like a sponge as he told me all about how excited he was, and how lovely his day had been. Huu-goh pressed hundreds of those strange little kisses all over my face as I cradled him against my body, lids already drooping.

He’d been doing that a lot lately.

The kissing.

Not that I minded.

It made me feel fuzzy every time he did.

Almost as fuzzy as when the chaste kisses became slick and he sucked on my tongue.

As I basked in his affection, at peace for the first time that day, my eyes scanned the room.

Huu-goh’s box of spare parts was scattered in the back corner like he’d been tinkering with them again. The set of tools I’d given him glinted between pieces of used-up metal. The broken translators sat to the side, shinier than before—but still unusable.

His little pile of toys had taken residence in the corner of the room since the day I’d given them to him. The box had to be nearly full by now, as he collected more and more from Ushuu each day.

The clutter should have bothered me but it didn’t.

Maybe once upon a time, it would have.

But it had been a long time since I felt that way.

We’d both had to grow a lot to cohabit the same space.

I had never been a messy person myself, but I found Huu-goh and his piles more than a little endearing. His piles of laundry. His piles of blankets. His piles of tools. Every time I saw them, it reminded me how sterile and bland my life had been before he came into it. It was nice seeing the evidence that someone else lived here.

His disarray was soothing, though admittedly I could tell he tried to keep it neat.

As wonderful and exciting as it was that he’d enjoyed my present, there were other gifts I was more curious about. The ones he’d been purchasing on his shopping trips with Ushuu, specifically. The ones that resided in a pile of their own on top of his old bed.

What had he picked?

Clothing?

More tools?

Frivolous, wonderful little things he’d never be able to find on F’ukYuu?

I hope so.

Every day a bag or two was added to the procession. Never too much all at once, always very practical. Ushuu found Huu-goh hilarious, and I couldn’t help but agree. Huu-goh was more careful with my money than I was, and that was saying something.

I had yet to see any of the items he’d bought out of their shiny bags. Ushuu had told me to be patient, and that Huu-goh had something planned. If there was something I usually never lacked, it was patience, though I was learning where Huu-goh was concerned, that wasn’t always true.

He’d said thank you about a hundred times, and I’d had to shush him when it didn’t seem the gratitude would ever end. It was flattering, to say the least. A far better use of my money than what it had been doing previously—growing stale in my bank account.

I was a little disappointed he hadn’t spent more, if I was being honest. I had wanted to truly spoil him—for the sky to be the limit. But my little mate was a practical man, and he’d been dead set on not spending a penny above the amount I’d originally told him.

In hindsight, I should’ve predicted that.

It was poor planning not to give him a higher number. But when he’d asked me, I’d been blindsided. He’d looked so shaky and small. Unsure of himself. I would’ve done anything to see his smile again, and I hadn’t been thinking clearly enough to anticipate this problem.

I should have.

Huu-goh had come to me with nothing. Slaves on F’ukYuu certainly weren’t treated like people. And before that, I had no idea what his life had been like. I had no idea how long he’d been with A&R before his relocation. I couldn’t fathom what his life on Earth had been like at all. For all I knew he’d grown up the same way he’d spent his time as a pleasure slave. Penniless, beautiful, and alone.

I wanted to spoil him more, but I didn’t want to overwhelm him. I had plans for us on our date, and that would have to be enough for now.

This was the last stop on our journey home, and I could practically taste the salt in the air already. Osheania was close . Close enough my hearts throbbed toward it and I daydreamed about what Huu-goh would think the moment he stepped foot on my planet’s lovely pink soil.

“You are sure he will like this?” I confirmed, eyes narrowed at Ushuu. He hadn’t led me astray, thus far, so I wasn’t actually concerned.

I was, however, uncomfortable .

The stiff clothing Ushuu had insisted I wear barely let my surface breathe. My tendrils hissed unhappily beneath the fabric. They didn’t like being trapped, and I didn’t like the vulnerability that came with that either.

This event was a safe space so I knew there was no need to fret. The price tag to attend helped weed out the pirates that frequented the planet. There was no need for paranoia, but still, I struggled to reassure myself.

This particular event was being held in a ritzy hotel at the highest point of the planet. It was an area that was known for being high-end and anti-crime. On top of this, there would be security throughout the hotel at every entrance, and along the walls of the ballroom.

We would be safe.

I’d made sure of that, going so far as to interrogate one of my contacts into admitting which of the events on Sha’hPihn would be most secure. At first, wanting to pad his own wallet, he’d tried to convince me to attend one of his own, but I had refused. Huu-goh’s safety was of utmost importance and he hadn’t been able to promise me his security would be nearly as satisfactory as the event I’d ended up buying us tickets to.

I wasn’t above using my size and status to intimidate, though I didn’t do it often. However, nothing in my life had been more important than this “date” with Huu-goh. My contact had quaked in fear as I towered over his desk, claws digging into the surface. With my tendrils flailing behind me, I knew there wasn’t a being in this galaxy who would not give me what I wanted.

The bulbous alien had immediately told me what I wanted to hear.

We’d finished our business as usual afterward, but he wouldn’t stop quaking the entire time. When I’d left, he’d hurried after me to try and mend the bridge he’d burned. It was almost laughable, really, that he thought I cared.

I only had so much time and energy, and all of it belonged to Huu-goh.

I was snapped back to the present by Ushuu’s poking and prodding as he carefully adjusted the uncomfortable clothing, making sure the seams lay flat. He’d been kind enough to procure this for me when he’d been out and about, and I was grateful, even though I had already decided that I hated wearing it.

“You look cute,” Ushuu teased. I glared at him. His smile softened. “He will love it. It may seem odd to you—” Ushuu’s lavender gaze was warm, “because it is not our way. But where Huu-goh is from, what you are wearing right now is…special.” Ushuu’s voice was reverent as he studied me, pride written all over his face. “If you want to impress him, this is definitely the way to go.”

I nodded.

My hearts ached anew.

“Huu-goh will be able to take over for me,” Ushuu said. It took me a moment to understand that he was talking about his duties on the ship, and not dressing me in huu-man clothing. “Maybe not this flight, but the next.”

“Ushuu,” I reached for him, and he came willingly, our snouts rubbing as I closed my eyes.

“All I’ve ever wanted was to see you happy,” Ushuu told me. “I do not have children of my own. After he died—” He didn’t need to say the name for me to know he was talking about his mate. My first captain. The man who had taught me everything I knew. “I did not want to make a child without him.”

I nodded.

“I am glad,” Ushuu added. “Because there would’ve been no better son—pod-made or otherwise—than you, Roark.”

We hugged for a long time. The tendrils that could escape around our wrists did so, tangling together as our hearts thumped as one.

When we separated, I was more sure than ever that I had made the right choice.

“I will miss you,” I told him, and it was the truth.

“And I will miss you,” Ushuu replied.

I wished Huu-goh was here to comfort me with his strange humming song. Because I felt unsteady as I finished dressing and tried to focus on our “date” and not the fact that the only constant in my life would soon be changing.

Maybe it was good, though.

To let things change.

If I had always remained so resistant to it, I never would’ve met Huu-goh.

The collar of my new shirt was stiff and unyielding, and I tugged at it with a grunt. With purpose, I made my way out of Ushuu’s chambers—he’d graciously offered to let me change there so I wouldn’t ruin the surprise.

Mala was at the helm of the ship, keeping things running smoothly so I could take time off. Ushuu followed after me, keeping pace with my brisk walk as we headed down the hall.

“I should escort him,” I blurted to Ushuu only for him to shake his head.

“It will be more magical if you pick him up from your hotel room like we planned.” As we rounded a corner, a few recruits saluted us both. I nodded to them politely, though my mind was far from present. None of them commented on my strange clothing, so I figured it didn’t look as off-putting as I’d worried it did.

“I could?—”

“No, Captain,” Ushuu laughed, obviously amused. I wasn’t sure I liked being the butt of a joke, but I let it slide. These were extenuating circumstances. “Don’t overthink it.”

It was hard not to when I missed Huu-goh, and wanted nothing more than to nuzzle his orange fur and bask in his scent.

Normally I didn’t like deviating from the plans I’d made, but standing in my ridiculous getup, after my talk with Ushuu, I felt off-kilter. When Huu-goh was close, things did not seem so dire.

Would he like what I was wearing?

I hoped he would.

“ Captain ,” Ushuu stressed, catching my attention. His eyes were soft as he sighed. “I may be old, but I am still a capable warrior. Trust that I know what I’m doing.”

I knew he was right, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous.

“You’ll take him to the hotel? You won’t let him out of?—”

“I won’t let him out of my sight,” Ushuu promised. “Please, Roark. Let me do this for you.”

Anxiety flickered at my fingertips and I flexed my hands into fists to stave it off.

“How long?” I asked, gritting my teeth.

“It’ll take half an hour to get him to the hotel, and he’ll need at least an hour to get ready,” Ushuu explained.

“And I’ll?—”

“And you will arrive to pick him up—” Ushuu stressed, “with flowers .”

“With flowers.” I agreed. I would have brought him a lot more than a single bouquet if it was up to me, but Ushuu had made it clear that flowers were a customary gift for a first date on Earth, and I wanted to do this by the book.

I only had one chance to woo him for the first time.

If all went well, this was the story we’d tell our children.

“Understood,” I straightened my collar again, glancing at my dearest friend, before I steeled my nerves and turned away. When I was halfway down the hallway, Ushuu called out to me one last time.

“Captain?”

“Yes?” I twisted to look at him, annoyed but amused when I saw the shit-eating grin on his weathered face.

“Don’t wrinkle your tux.”