Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Jason resisted the urge to strangle Amanda and stepped between the two women. “Ex-wife.”

The look on Jen’s face made the panic rising in his torso feel completely justified. She looked from Amanda to Jason, a mixture of confusion and anger on her face. She didn’t accept Amanda’s proffered hand and stepped back. “What’s going on?”

Jason’s words were venomous. “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

Amanda shrugged and dropped her hand to her side. “Fine, but Ned Vickers has plenty of footage of you two together to prove otherwise.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m his soon-to-be ex-wife. We’re on the verge of divorce but still technically married. But Jason is the father of my soon-to-be-born child. Is that better?”

Jason gave her the iciest glare he could muster. “Don’t even start with that.” He held out a hand to Jen. “She’s lying. Listen, I can prove this one. I don’t know what the hell she’s doing here, but we’re getting divorced. We signed a prenuptial, and it’s uncontested so it’s just a matter of weeks, really.”

Jen placed her fingertips to her temples as though her head hurt from the information. “And you didn’t think to tell me this?”

Amanda just set her hands on her hips, arms akimbo. She tilted her head to the side, watching them with interest. The people leaving the Depot stared at them and Jason spotted a skulking Dan Klein by the door. He didn’t look happy that Jen was outside with him.

This couldn’t be happening all at once. Not today, Satan. His gaze narrowed at Amanda once again. “I need to talk to Jen. Alone. We can talk after.” He pointed at Yardley’s. “Meet me at that bar in a half hour.”

Amanda sighed. “Don’t you think I should be here for—”

“In a half hour or not at all, Amanda.” He wasn’t in the mood to negotiate with her.

She pressed her lips together. Without responding, she stalked away, the heels of her boots smacking against the sidewalk. She’d toyed with modeling in her early twenties, an attribute Jason had considered a turn-on when they’d started dating. Her power strolling was less appealing these days. His fury at her bringing up that paternity issue had him ready to burst.

One glance at Jen, though, told him he had a lot more to be worried about.

She hadn’t come out with a coat on, and her glance back at the Depot made it clear that she was considering fleeing back to its safety.

“Jen—wait. Let me explain.”

She didn’t look at him, raking her fingers through the knots in her messy bun. A passerby squeezed her forearm, giving her congratulations and a wide smile.

Jason stepped closer to her. “Can we talk somewhere more private?”

She gave him an odd look, then shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

“Look, I didn’t tell you I was still married to Amanda because I don’t really love to talk about her. And we’re almost divorced. It was a brief marriage that meant little to me. The dumbest decision I’ve ever made. And a few months ago, I hired a private investigator to track her odd behavior and discovered that she’s been cheating on me with my best friend from college since before we were married. She’s with him now, and he’s the CEO of my grandfather’s company.”

“Great job, you two!” Another woman shook both their hands. Jason and Jen pasted polite smiles on their faces, then watched her go.

Jen still said nothing, so Jason continued. “Anyway, because we hadn’t officially separated when my grandfather died, she was present when they went over the will with me. She knows about the inheritance stipulations. And now I’m pretty sure she’s trying to make up a pregnancy to take me to court for the whole thing.”

Jen blinked up at him, looking confused. “So she’s not actually pregnant?”

“No, well . . .” Jason cleared his throat. “I think she’s pregnant. I’m just saying I’m not the father.”

“And you know this for sure?” Jen gave him a sharp glance.

“Pretty positive.”

Jen stared at her own reflection in the Depot's window. “You know, Jason, I’m not saying I don’t believe you. It’s just that we’ve only known each other for what? A couple of weeks? And every few days, I find out something new. Some big surprise that has the potential to devastate me.” She swallowed hard, then met his eyes. “I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

“Jen—”

“No, I’m serious. It’s not fair to me. And it’s not fair to Colby. I need to be a functioning person, you know? I don’t get to just stay in my pj's and cry all day eating ice cream. Not to mention, I must think of him first. Who would be good to have in his life.” Jen straightened, but the hurt in her eyes brimmed with her tears. “And you’re just not that person.”

“Jen, please. I know I lied about so many things. And if I could do it all again—”

“You would do the exact same thing!” Jen’s words broke out in a cry that was clearly louder than she intended. She scanned the vicinity with an embarrassed flush on her cheeks. “Think about how many times you had the opportunity to tell me the truth. And you just couldn’t bring yourself to it, could you, Jason? You took the easy route because you’re a liar. Because you never cared about me in the first place.”

“That’s not true.” He tried to think of a way to prove his point, but how could he? Mildred had been convinced he loved her because of the damn hardware store, but if he told her about the bakery plan, she might refuse it.

“It is. Thank you for paying off my debts. If we won tonight, then I’ll pay you back as soon as I get the winnings. Otherwise, it might be a while. And thank you for showing up tonight. But it’s really over. I can’t trust you or your intentions.” She struggled for a steady breath. “And I don’t think I ever will.”

He reached out to her, but she slipped out of his grasp. Then she turned and hurried back into the Depot, wiping her cheeks of tears as she went.

Amanda waited for Jason in a booth in the back of Yardley’s. He regretted having told her to come and wait for him immediately. The restaurant was crowded, and from the way people looked in his direction as he walked through the place, they knew who he was.

Which made sitting down at a table with his ex-wife particularly uncomfortable. Not that other people knew who Amanda was. But they didn’t really seem to care either. Jen was clearly a beloved member of the community. He was an outsider.

He always would be an outsider.

Amanda had already ordered a drink—a Coke—which wasn’t like her at all. She sipped it, then lifted her eyes to him. “This is about the only thing I can stomach lately. Coke and soda crackers.”

Right. Because of the pregnancy. He gave her a sharp look. “Are you really pregnant?”

“Yes.” She paled some, which wasn’t the easiest thing considering how pale she already was. “But you knew that. I didn’t exactly try to hide the fact from your PI when he was snooping around my personal business.”

“It’s not mine.” Jason crossed his arms and leaned back in the seat. “And Jen’s son is first in line to inherit, so you may as well drop the sham. That baby is never going to even have a chance. And frankly, I don’t want to embarrass you in court.”

A server interrupted their conversation, and Jason ordered a beer. He watched Amanda sip her Coke again, her gaze downcast. She’d always exuded confidence. But she seemed strangely muted. Even the fact that she’d come to Yardley’s without protesting was a change of pace. When the server had left, she played with the edge of her paper coaster. “It’s your baby, Jason. We already did a paternity test. It’s not Chad’s. In fact”—she didn’t meet his eyes—“he dumped me for cheating on him with you.”

He suppressed an ironic laugh. Cheating on Chad with him? The absurdity of the phrase made him raise his brows. “So you—who never wanted to be a mother, ever—just so happened to conceive that last time we were together when it conveniently aligned with a viable opportunity at a substantial inheritance? What are you playing at? I’m not an idiot, you know.”

“I’ve never thought you were an idiot. But nothing about this is convenient for me, Jason.” Her face looked a bit pinched, as though she was on the verge of tears, something he wasn’t sure he’d ever witnessed. Or had he? Who knew? “But believe it or not, I want this baby. I had stopped taking birth control because Chad and I were talking about getting pregnant, but I didn’t think it would happen so quickly or with you. I should have told you, and it was wrong of me not to. And I’m sorry. I don’t know—it’s probably the hormones or something—but when I found out I was pregnant, I was really, really excited.”

“If it’s not about the inheritance, why’d you do a paternity test?”

The edge of her coaster was fraying badly. “Because I told Chad that I had slept with you when I found out. That it might not be his. And he asked for a test. He said if it was his, he’d consider staying together, but no way in hell was he raising your child.”

Even though she’d told him a few times now that the baby was his, something in her words now hit him differently. Made him almost throw up.

His pulse quickened, his throat going dry. He needed that server to come back with that beer—now.

He was going to be a father?

The breath he drew was shaky. “How do I know you didn’t sleep with someone else?”

“I didn’t. But if it makes you feel better, you can do a paternity test, too. There were only ever two options. It’s not Chad’s, so that leaves you.” Amanda shifted in her seat. “Think about it. What possible reason would I have to lie about this? We didn’t exactly end things on good terms. Co-parenting with you is just about the worst twist of karma I’ve ever heard of. And you’ve said it yourself—it’s not about the money. Maybe, just maybe, you can admit that leaves the obvious fact that I’m telling you the truth.”

He set his hands down on the edge of the table, pushing his weight into them. The server returned with his drink, which he stared at, watching the amber bubbles rising up the side of the glass. He was going to have a kid.

With Amanda.

“Holy shit,” he breathed out, but his head felt light. Too light. Was he getting oxygen? His throat felt choked, his collar too tight.

Amanda gave him a wary look. “You okay?”

“I’m processing.”

She nodded, then returned to destroying her coaster.

He chugged his beer. He might need a few of these with this news.

A father?

He couldn’t visualize that. A kid Colby’s age—okay. They could walk and talk and watch cartoons. But diapers and midnight feedings? Wait—would he even be around for that? They were on the verge of their divorce being finalized. “What does this mean? Are you trying to get back together?”

This time, Amanda laughed. She shook her head. “No. Maybe you are an idiot.” She cleared her throat. “No, I think we were together long enough to realize we don’t work. I don’t believe any child we bring into this world would benefit from a life being spent in our sham marriage.”

“It wasn’t like that—” Their shouted words during their breakup, the night he’d moved out of their house, came back.

“You should have told me you wanted out.”

“How can you talk to someone who’s never there, even when you manage to see them? You checked out of this marriage long before I did. I’m not even sure you were ever in it. You’re incapable of actual feeling, Jason! Grow up, already. Your life has been the exact opposite of hard.”

“You knew who I was when you married me, Amanda. You just didn’t care because I still came with a good stock portfolio and an address in Lincoln Park. Nothing changed.”

“How do you just not get it? I changed! I realized I wanted something more. Someone who actually gave a damn about me.”

And he hadn’t had a response for her because he hadn’t given a damn.

The truth was what he’d felt when Amanda left was annoyance and anger. Not sadness. Not hurt.

Not loss.

The exact opposite of what you’re feeling right now with losing Jen.

Amanda sighed, twirling her straw. “I should have told you about Chad before you found out the way you did. I hated myself for a lot of that, you know, especially since you were always a lot nicer to me than he was, and I don’t know. I guess in the end, it’s better that I didn’t get pregnant with his kid.”

“Chad’s an asshole,” Jason agreed. It had taken him a long time to see it, but he’d never look back at their years of friendship the same way.

“You were an asshole to me, too, at the end.” Amanda shrugged. “But I probably deserved it. We were making each other miserable. And that’s a good sign that we shouldn’t ever be together again.” She sucked her cheeks in. “Besides which, you apparently have moved on.”

Her claims about Ned having footage brought back his anger with her. “Why in the hell would you have Ned take footage of me with Jen?”

She blinked a few times, her long lashes lifting as she looked at him. “Because I had him do it in general. I was angry after you hired that PI to follow me and Chad. And I wanted revenge. I wanted to contest the divorce. So I had Ned gather evidence, and wow, there was a long string of women for a couple of months, Jason. I’m not going to lie. That astonished me.

Until you got here. And then it all stopped.”

“Then if you know I care about that woman, why would you introduce yourself that way?” Jason’s voice was strained.

“I don’t know. I was jealous. She’s pretty. And obviously talented. I watched the show last week, and the way you looked at her? I don’t know if you even looked at me that way on our wedding day.”

That she’d been jealous was odd. But it gave her a vulnerable side he didn’t normally associate with her. “And you never looked at me the way you looked at Chad. You definitely never considered having a kid with me.”

She grimaced. “Touché.”

Fighting with her no longer held any note of satisfaction, strangely. For the first time in a long time, Amanda somehow seemed more . . . human. Maybe it was the fact that she was pregnant. Or maybe that they were having a conversation that felt civil.

How long had it been since they sat and talked like this?

Had they ever?

He took another swallow of beer. “And what are you planning on doing with that evidence you gathered?”

“I don’t know.” She met his gaze, her blue eyes thoughtful. “I think it sort of depends on how you choose to proceed with the baby. I’m not exactly a fan of dragging my child’s father’s name through the mud in court. But if you have no intention of stepping up ...”

He should have expected her to have some sort of endgame. Amanda was as risk-averse as he was. It was part of the reason they’d gotten married. They were safe options for each other. Her decision to have an affair had only been proof of how much she’d loved Chad.

Jason was silent for a few moments. The restaurant was noisy, which he was grateful for. The likelihood of them being overheard was too high otherwise. “If it’s actually my child, then I want to be involved.” The relief on her face was palpable. “I’m not going to ignore I have a baby, Amanda. I don’t know exactly what that means for you or the baby, but I’ll be there to support you in whichever way I can.”

She breathed out, then reached across the table, offering her hand. He reached for it and grasped it for a moment, not caring who saw. Even if their marriage had gone up in flames, they didn’t have to continue the cycle. Her eyes were shiny, and she squeezed his fingers, then released them. “I guess we can figure out the details later. Especially now that you’ve made a new life here in Maryland. I want you to have enough time with him.” She bit her lip. “By the way, it's a boy. I tested for gender. I didn’t want to wait to plan things.”

He was going to have a son.

He closed his eyes, breathing out.

Then a scene came to him, an imagining from his brain, of Jen and Kevin sitting here a few years earlier. Or maybe somewhere else in this town. When his brother had found out he was going to be a father.

He didn’t know how the conversation had gone. Had it scared Jen to tell Kevin? Had it excited her? Had he been excited?

Whatever the circumstance, the news must have tormented Kevin as much as it moved him. Kevin’s reaction hadn’t been the right one, but Jason couldn’t entirely fault his brother. And if Jen had been as instrumental to his sobriety as Mildred had suggested, losing her must have been more than Kevin could bear.

The problem was that it had left Jen vulnerable and abandoned.

And she’d fought back, shown a resilience that was so . . .

His jaw clenched.

. . .it’s what you love about her.

Jen and Colby deserved that money. Every cent. He was ready to let it all go now, no matter what it meant for him.

His chest tightened.

He didn’t want to leave Brandywood. Didn’t want to imagine a future where Jen and Colby were here—without him. And with Amanda having his baby, it’s not as though he could ever imagine leaving Chicago permanently again.

But he’d tried so hard to figure out a way to make any of this right, and he’d failed.

No amount of money he could spend, no grand gesture could undo the harm he’d caused, the trust he’d broken. He could never repair that. Never convince Jen he loved her.

He had no choice but to leave.

He would never be worthy of Jen and Colby. Because his grandfather was right: he’d never been worth the second chance at life he’d been given. He didn’t deserve Cavanaugh Metals, and he sure as hell didn’t deserve Jen and Colby Klein.

All that was left was for him to stop fighting the inevitable and walk away from it all.

He looked at Amanda, and the breath he expelled felt like hope leaving his body. “Actually, I think it’s time for me to go back to Chicago.”