17

IRIS WAS SORRY that she wouldn't be seeing Siggi tonight. He would already be on his chase for the Northern Lights, and in any case, it gave her the opportunity to catch up with her family.

Before she did that, while she was still buoyed from her experience at the IMO and what Bjarkey had said in the car, she emailed Jay and in the most professional tone possible, and copying in the person who had overruled his decision about her being able to do the field study, explained that she would stay in Iceland until after the eruption and that the report would follow shortly afterwards. Pressing send felt hugely cathartic.

She opted to call her brother, Finn. On a weekday, he was the most likely of her family to be available to chat. He worked from home, writing software for companies who paid him a fortune because he was one of the best in his field at doing something that Iris didn't understand.

‘Finn! How's things?'

‘Ah, finally. We thought you'd fallen into a volcano in Iceland.'

‘Sorry, it's been busy.' She'd neglected the family WhatsApp since she'd left Hawaii. Her parents being on holiday made it easier. If they'd been at home, her mum would have been calling daily to find out what was causing the radio silence.

‘Is Iceland better than Hawaii? God, even asking you that makes my life sound depressingly boring.'

She laughed. ‘They're both great but Iceland has surprised me. I had an idea what Hawaii might be like and that's how it was whereas here…it's not what I expected.'

‘What have you been up to? Have you had time to do anything other than work?'

Iris told him about her snorkelling experience and told him about the open mic night.

‘You went to that on your own?

‘No, I went with a group. I met them through the guide who's been helping me out with getting to the site of what we think will be a major eruption.'

Finn was usually the person Iris told everything to but she wasn't sure how to tell him about Siggi, so held back from mentioning the camping trip because there was no way to spin that as anything other than a romantic getaway. She was worried he would judge her for embarking on what was essentially a fling.

‘Nice deflection on the tour guide,' Finn said. Iris could hear the smile in his voice. ‘And how's the work going?'

She told him about the job offer, leaving out the part about Jay insisting that she abandon her field work for no valid reason. She didn't want to get into what had happened. Finn would worry about it, share it with Felix, and the last thing she needed was for her brothers to rock up at the lab to warn Jay off. She wouldn't put it past them, especially Felix.

‘Wow, that's amazing. It's about time you were recognised for what you're doing. It's a game-changer.'

‘Well, I don't know what I'll do about it yet, but it's amazing to be offered something like that.'

‘Would you want to stay in Iceland?'

‘Honestly, I don't know. It's an amazing set up at the IMO and having volcanic activity on the doorstep is hugely tempting. But it's a big step.' She paused. Again, it was on the tip of her tongue to mention Siggi but she wouldn't want Finn to think that her considering the job offer was driven by anything other than a good career move.

‘It is, but you've been travelling a lot for a couple of years. That has to have its downsides?'

‘But if you say that to anyone, they'd think you were mad. Who doesn't love the thought of travelling the world for the job they love?'

‘Iris, you've always loved routine and consistency. I know the past two years have been out of your comfort zone and I think it's amazing that you've embraced that challenge. We all do. But there's nothing wrong in feeling that you'd want to settle down somewhere again. It's not a sustainable lifestyle for everybody.'

Finn was right. There were lots of downsides. She had lost the feeling of belonging anywhere. Of having a home. And the possibility of finding someone to share the rest of her life with was completely off the cards. She might have been closed off from the idea of falling in love again since Patrick, but Siggi had reawakened that possibility now. And she knew that was something she wanted.

‘I've met someone.'

‘It's the tour guide, isn't it?'

‘Yes, but it's not that cliché type situation.' It wasn't, was it? ‘He's not serial dating anyone new who comes into town.'

‘Right.' Finn sounded open to more information rather than judgey, and Iris decided she could do with someone else's take.

‘He grew up here but he travels a lot, to all sorts of places. In fact, he was in Hawaii at the same time as me before he came back to Iceland to work and save up for his next trip.'

‘Wow, that's some coincidence. And you like him?'

‘I really like him, Finn. He's fun to be with, he's thoughtful and he's taken me to some amazing places because he knows I'll love them for the geology.'

‘So the decision about staying is a bit more complicated.'

‘I'm not staying because of him. If I stayed it would be because of the job, and anyway, he'll be off travelling somewhere again in a few months. I'd only consider the job if it's a better career path for me, and I don't know yet if that's the case. At the moment, it's just nice to have been asked.'

‘That's great, Iris,' Finn said sincerely. ‘About the job and the guy. It's about time you had some fun with someone who appreciates you. Just watch out for yourself.'

Iris glowed. It meant a lot for her brother to give his blessing.

‘I will. Thanks, Finn. Have you spoken to Felix lately?'

‘Yep, he's in the thick of the exam preparation season so I haven't actually seen him but I gave him a call just to check he's not losing his mind.'

‘I won't call him, then. Maybe let him know we've spoken and I'll catch up with you both properly when I get back.'

‘And when's that going to be? Or will we lose you forever to your Icelandic tour guide?'

‘No, of course not,' Iris laughed. ‘I think another week or so, that's all.' She didn't want to think about what little time they had left, or what life would be like without Siggi.

‘You know you can stay here when you get back?' She'd given up her rented flat when she began travelling so much for work and instead had stayed with her parents for fleeting visits home, or at Finn's when the parental scrutiny became too much.

‘I know. I'll probably start off at Mum and Dad's, but thank you.'

‘Enjoy yourself, Iris and take care.'

By the time she'd finished the call with Finn, there was a response from Jay in her inbox. He'd replied to her, removing the other person Iris had copied in to her original message. The gist of his response was a threat that she'd lose her job if she wasn't back by Wednesday. Twenty-four hours ago, Iris would have been worried enough about the prospect of that to be on the next flight out of Keflavik airport, but now it made her smile. The conversation with Bjarkey had changed how she saw him. He was a bully, and by not standing up to him, by believing in the power she thought he had over her, she'd allowed him to bully her for years. But no more.

Iris attached the email trail to a fresh email to the HR department at British Geology Labs asking them to confirm whether Jay had the authority to dismiss her with no warning. She copied Jay in for good measure, knowing that this was the last thing he'd expect her to do, and also knowing already that he didn't have the authority because there was a process that would have to be adhered to.

Feeling energised by what she'd done, Iris lost herself in the data she and Bjarkey had collated that morning, formatting it into meaningful bitesize chunks for her report, roughly drafting the text as she went. It was past midnight the next time she looked up from her laptop. She stretched and closed the lid, pleased with the progress she'd made.

She picked up her phone and saw that she had a text from Siggi.

The lights were amazing again tonight, but I had no fun without you x

Want to meet for breakfast tomorrow? xx

Want to meet for a goodnight kiss now? x

It was tempting. She'd resigned herself to not seeing him until tomorrow, although they'd made no plans. It had been a full-on day and now that she'd stopped working, she was already fighting sleep.

I'm too tired even for kisses. Tomorrow? xx

I'll pick you up at 9 x

She stared at the kiss in his last message. It swelled her heart and reassured her they were both thinking along the same lines. She was falling for him and she knew the same was happening for him.

If only it was just that. That she'd met an amazing guy and was falling for him. It would be so simple. But now, it was going to make it harder to decide about whether the IMO was the right place for her. Iceland was Siggi, as well as everything else she loved about it. Even if she could be objective enough to discount her feelings from the decision, surely they would keep seeing each other if she stayed. Wasn't that inevitable? Because surely the only reason they'd put an expiry date on their relationship in the first place was because of the reality of their situation in the beginning.

The following morning, Iris headed downstairs to meet Siggi. Embla was on the reception desk. Still feeling invincible because of everything that had happened yesterday, Iris greeted her with a smile and received a narrowing of eyes in return.

‘ Góeur morgunn,' Siggi greeted her, as she came outside to find him. He took her gloved hands in his and leant in to kiss her.

‘I've missed you,' she said, wrapping her arms around him.

‘And I have missed you. I had to hang out with Jonas and Rachel yesterday,' he said, as if it was a hardship.

They joined hands and strolled together along the street towards the centre of town.

‘Did you see the Northern Lights last night?'

‘Yes. It was a good night, but they were not the colours that we saw.'

‘Maybe that was especially for us?' Iris said.

‘I think you are right,' Siggi said, smiling. ‘I hope you are hungry.'

‘I'm starving.' Iris hadn't realised until it was too late that she hadn't eaten dinner the night before, having been engrossed in her report. All she'd eaten since she and Bjarkey had stopped for coffee and cake in Hraunvik, were the complimentary biscuits in her room.

The breakfast place was called Sandholt, and was on Laugavegur, nestled amongst the shops. There was a small line forming outside, but Siggi went straight to the front.

‘I have a reservation,' he said to Iris when she protested about jumping the queue.

He spoke in Icelandic to the woman who came over to them, and they were shown to a table for two in the busy restaurant.

‘I like the shakshouka,' Siggi said, pointing it out on the menu, which usefully had an English translation. It sounded good; stewed tomatoes with egg served with sourdough bread.

‘I don't think I can resist the waffles,' Iris said, looking longingly at someone else's table where a steaming plate of fluffy-looking waffles had just been served.

‘Coffee?' Siggi asked.

Iris nodded, and when the waitress came over, he ordered their breakfast in Icelandic. It was sexy hearing him speak his native language, but for the first time, Iris thought about it in the context of staying in Iceland, and didn't think it sounded like a language that would be easy to learn. When Bjarkey had said the name of some of the volcanos, the words bore no resemblance to how it looked like they should be pronounced when Iris saw them written. Suddenly, that seemed like a problem when it hadn't mattered before.

‘How was your day yesterday?' he asked her, lacing his fingers in between hers across the table.

‘Really good. We went to Hraunvik again.'

‘Is anything happening there?'

‘We saw some evidence of movement on the surface. There were a couple of fissures which Bjarkey reported.' She watched for his reaction. ‘And we set up a couple more seismometers now that we have a better idea of what might be happening.' There was something in his eyes that Iris couldn't quite fathom; he definitely didn't look as relaxed as he had before she'd mentioned Hraunvik. ‘And something else happened yesterday.'

Iris had been going over and over the best way to tell Siggi about the potential job offer from the IMO. She didn't want it to sound as if she'd engineered the opportunity because of how things were progressing between them. But it was hard to think of it in isolation.

‘My boss insisted that I leave Iceland. He wants me back in the office by tomorrow, whether the report is finished or not.'

Siggi shook his head. ‘That seems crazy. Isn't it better to wait for the eruption and then you have the whole story.'

‘Exactly. Anyway, I've told him that I'm staying, at least until something happens. Because you're right, leaving now jeopardises the past two years of work that I've done.'

‘Man, this guy is an idiot,' he said, shaking his head again and grinning. ‘You are not worried about going against him?'

‘I was. I'm pretty sure he wants to fire me but then I talked things through with Bjarkey and I guess I have options I hadn't considered before.'

‘Wow, that's great, Iris.' He beamed at her. It was great to see that he understood what that meant to her.

She nodded enthusiastically and carried on. ‘Anyway, Bjarkey introduced me to Emil, he runs the IMO team. When he heard what's been happening with Jay, he basically offered me a position.'

Siggi pulled his hand away, leaned back in his chair and pushed his fingers through his hair. ‘Wow, I mean…I don't know what to say.'

His reaction told Iris everything she needed to know. He'd jumped to the conclusion that she was basing her life choices around their relationship. She'd known there was a risk that he'd think that, but it still hurt to see him react so predictably.

‘You don't need to say anything. I haven't decided on anything yet. It's made me realise that I have options I hadn't been aware of before, that's all. Whether that's here in Iceland or in other places around the world.'

Their food arrived and Iris was grateful for the pause in conversation while they ate.

‘You should not make any decisions with me in mind, Iris,' he said without meeting her eye.

‘I wasn't going to, Siggi,' she said gently, trying to catch his eye.

‘You know what we decided. You staying doesn't change anything.'

It felt like a punch to her stomach. She was almost physically winded by how much that comment hurt. She'd honestly thought that they'd at least discuss how the future might look in the light of her staying in Iceland and yet it seemed a discussion wasn't what Siggi wanted.

‘I don't know what would give you the impression that I would stay in Reykjavik just to continue whatever this is with you.'

He looked at her, now with hurt in his eyes. And that cut into her just as deeply. She didn't want to hurt him, but also, she needed him to know that he had thrown the first punch.

‘I am sorry, Iris. Even if you stay, I will not. I will still be leaving at the end of the summer.'

Now he was twisting the knife. Did he know how much this was hurting? This was rejection. Nothing could be worse than this. Leaving him tomorrow, thinking she might never see him again, would not be worse than this. The coldness in his tone. The way he was avoiding looking at her, when only a couple of days ago she had been his love.

How had it come to this?

Because nothing had changed at all. It was still a hypothetical situation that he was getting upset about. She had to make him understand that.

‘I know,' she said, as calmly as she could, trying to hold back tears that were threatening to spill. ‘I'm not asking you to stay here for me. I'm not asking you for anything, Siggi. I heard you when you said this wasn't going to become anything.' And if she hadn't known that before this conversation, she knew now. ‘I'm sorry. Thank you for breakfast. I need to go.'

She stood up, grabbed her coat off the back of the chair and ran outside.

‘Iris! Skítt!'

She heard him try to follow her, but he got caught up in having to pay the bill, giving her valuable time to put some space between them.

At the first opportunity, she headed up one of the small side streets that led off Laugavegur so that when Siggi left the restaurant, he wouldn't see her. Because now, the tears were falling down her cheeks and she didn't want him to see the effect he'd had on her. She was freezing. She stood there for a moment, not sure where to go, then pulled her coat on. He'd be sure to assume she'd go back to the hotel. It was better to stay away until she'd gathered herself and thought about what she would say. What could she say? She'd told him he wouldn't factor in any of her decisions and though he'd looked hurt, he'd made it clear that was what he wanted. Whether she stayed or not, what she and Siggi had was over.