Chapter 23

"Eden, I can't," I blurt out as we approach the outrageously fancy and bustling restaurant.

Coming to an abrupt stop, my hand slips from Eden's lazy grip. He twists to face me with a deep frown.

"Can't what?"

"I can't do people." My chest tightens at the admission. I'm ruining everything.

"Shit, sorry. It's a bit much, isn't it?" he says, rubbing the back of his neck, which I've discovered is Eden's telltale sign that he's nervous.

Guilt swirls in the pit of my stomach for fucking up our second first date with my insufferable anxiety. Could it not take a day off?

"Don't be sorry. It's my fault. I just can't do big groups of people right now."

I take his larger hands in mine, lightly dusting his knuckles with my thumbs.

"Same. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I wanted to impress you, I guess." Eden makes a self-deprecating scoff, and his shoulders sink.

I pull him closer and bring our hands tight against my chest so he can feel how my heart beats for him.

I peer up, standing on my tiptoes so our faces are close enough for him to hear every truthful word I'm about to say, "Honey, I'm already in awe of you. You alone impress me. There's not a single part of you that I'm not infatuated with. I respect and adore you as a man, a friend and a lover."

The side of his lip curls into a bashful smile, and his olive eyes twinkle under the amber streetlight.

"Lover, ay?" he teases while doing an eyebrow flash.

"Oh, piss off. That's the last time I ever try to be romantic," I grumble, even though I'm smiling ear to ear.

Eden releases my hands and cups my face, pressing several light kisses to my lips as I squirm. Before long, I surrender and kiss him back until it develops into a more passionate kiss. A tingle makes its way down my spine right to the tips of my toes. How does he induce such a physical response from me? It's like he gets under my skin and climbs to the centre of my chest, wrapping his very being around my thumping heart. I pull back, feeling slightly lightheaded after the all-consuming kiss.

"I have an idea," I say, searching his warm eyes.

"Does it involve lacey underwear?"

I chuckle, playfully rolling my eyes and lightly jabbing him in the stomach.

"Unfortunately, not. But it does involve a trip to Tesco. How riveting, I know."

"Oooook," he drawls with one eyebrow raised.

"I was thinking I could make you my famous chilli."

Eden pulls me closer, tucking me under his arm and planting a kiss on the side of my head.

"If we survive," he murmurs against my short hair.

My heart sings as he repeats the promise we made in captivity.

"Exactly. I think it's about time we started ticking off our list."

Twisting my neck to look up at him, I notice his eyes are full to the brim with tears.

"I like that idea," he replies, blinking hard and scrunching his nose to ward off his impending tears. "But I have one request."

"Go on…"

"We are not going to fucking Tesco. If I see another meal deal, I won't be responsible for my actions."

I bark a laugh and lean my head against the centre of his chest as I chuckle against him.

"Fine, no Tesco. Wouldn't want you going all Hulk on my arse."

Eden fake gasps like I've offended him and tries to peel himself away, but I refuse to let go, climbing him like I've always wanted to. I wrap my legs around his waist and cling onto his neck for dear life as he awkwardly shuffles us back to the car. He tries depositing me on the bonnet, but I don't give up.

An old lady stares at us with wide eyes as she climbs into her car, so I flash her a cheesy grin and go back to planting kisses on every inch of Eden's face. I even slip in a sneaky lick to his cheek.

"You're ridiculous."

Eden's firm chest sends waves through me as he chuckles. I'm certain his laugh has its own energy force, and whenever I hear it, it charges me up.

He tries to pry me away, but I hold on tighter and nibble on his neck, just how he likes it.

"Fine." He huffs and smothers me back in an all-encompassing bear hug, squeezing me so hard I could pop.

* * *

"Why didn't we cook at your place? Your kitchen is much bigger," I complain while struggling to find space on the counter for my array of spices.

"You'd have space if you weren't such a messy cook."

I twist my head, shooting daggers at Eden as he relaxes at the dining table with his hands behind his head, wearing a sexy smirk.

I know this was my idea, but I'm suddenly nervous about him trying my cooking for the first time. It feels incredibly domesticated. I've fantasised about sharing these mundane moments with him, so it needs to be perfect.

Sensing my mild irritation, he says, "I like that you're cooking for me. It feels homely."

Smiling to myself, I hear him approach from behind. He wraps his thick arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder as I sprinkle chilli flakes into the sizzling pan. Lips ghost the shell of my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I tip my head against him and close my eyes, soaking up his tantalising presence. Pushing my arse against his growing cock, I feel it twitch beneath his snug jeans. Eden latches onto my ear, sending a zap of pleasure throughout my length. No doubt, coating my tiny shorts with pre-cum. He leans into me harder, making us both groan. My whole body turns to liquid, unravelling against him. His hand dips lower, hiking my baggy T-shirt up to gain access to my cock. When his fingers brush the tip, I buck against him.

"Fuck, no knickers today." Eden moans against my neck.

I shudder and let out a needy sound as his hand wraps around my throbbing shaft. I forget how to use my hands, dropping the whole jar of chilli flakes into the pan.

"Shit!" My eyes fly open, bursting the lustful bubble we were in.

Eden jumps at my outburst, swiftly removing his hand from my shorts and knocking an almost full bottle of red wine. He tries to catch it, but it crashes to the ground, and I scream in frustration.

"Great, dinner is fucking ruined," I yell, feeling my blood pressure rising. The red wine spreads across the white tiles like a puddle of blood, stirring unwanted emotions within me.

"I can't even make a chilli without screwing it up!"

I step back barefoot, but Eden snatches me from behind. I struggle in his hold, kicking my legs in a formidable rage.

"Stop, there's glass everywhere," he growls.

Eden carries me across the room and chucks me onto the bed, taking the breath out of me.

He calmly turns off the hob and bends to gather the broken glass.

I'm horrified by my sudden outburst and the rush of grisly emotions that control me. My hand slams against my mouth, failing to silence a loud sob.

I'm still so unstable. The tiniest thing can send me over the edge at any given moment. I'm trying my best to be normal. To be good enough for him, but it's never enough. I'm in a constant state of fear.

I have no idea how I'm going to work again, and my savings are dwindling. I'm about one month away from being homeless if I don't get my shit together. Simple tasks like going to the shop or cooking a meal can send me into a pit of despair.

Feeling the bed dip beside me, I groan, rolling onto my side, unable to face him.

"Baby, it's ok. It's just food and a bit of spilt wine. It doesn't matter."

Eden's arm wraps around my waist, and he tucks in behind me, nuzzling my neck.

"It does matter," I cry.

He rolls me over so I'm facing him and swipes the tears trailing down my puffy cheeks.

"Why does it?"

"Because we said if we survived, we'd do this, and I'm screwing it up."

"Kai, it was my fault for distracting you, and I knocked the wine over. You didn't screw anything up. Shit happens."

"You don't get it. I'm not surviving, Eden. This isn't surviving. I'm barely making it through each day without having a mental breakdown."

Eden frames my face with his hands and gives me a stern look.

"No, that's not true. Each day that you wake up is proof that you survived."

"I'm supposed to start working again next week, and I'm a fucking mess. If I can't even cook a bloody chilli at home, how am I going to work? I'm not as strong as you."

"Don't worry about work right now. Focus on getting better."

I shuffle away from him, feeling fury simmer in my chest at his blasé attitude.

"That isn't an option, Eden. I have bills to pay. I'll be on the streets next month if I don't start earning again."

He lets out a sigh and sits up against the headboard. Suddenly, the air feels cold without his closeness.

"I'd never let you become homeless. Let me help you out."

I shoot up to a sitting position and twist to face him, my fists clenched at my sides.

"No, Eden!" I snap.

"Why not? It's not an issue. I can afford to help."

I growl in frustration and climb to my feet.

"I told you I don't want to be saved again. This is why I didn't want to rush into things. I knew you'd try to fix everything."

Eden slams his fists on the mattress, making me flinch.

"That's not what I'm trying to do. This is different."

"No, it's not."

I glare at him, panting and digging my blunt fingernails into my palms. He scrubs his face and lets out an exasperated sigh. Uncomfortable silence fills my studio, making it feel smaller than ever.

"Fine, well, come work for me then."

"No, that's even worse," I bite.

"What do you mean, no? You don't even know what I'm offering."

"I can't work for you. I know fuck all about cyber security."

"No, but you can help me with marketing, finding new clients and administrative stuff."

I go to tell him no again but hold my tongue.

"You said you already have an assistant."

"Yep, and I'm looking to extend my team. Have been for some time."

"Eden, you can't just make up a position for the person you're dating. It's such a pretentious rich person thing to do."

Eden's hand comes up to his head, and he rubs his brow line like I'm about to make his head combust.

"Kai, I'm not making this up. I literally posted a job advertisement before we were abducted, but haven't gone through the applications."

I cast my eyes down, feeling slightly embarrassed for making assumptions.

"Are you serious?"

He picks up my pillow, rolls onto his side and growls into it. Now I feel like a dick. I kneel beside him, pulling the pillow away from his face to find his frown lines deeper than usual.

"But what if it doesn't work out between us? What if you get sick of me?"

Eden's hands come to my waist, holding me tightly with a severe expression.

"Kai, I'm going to say this one time and one time only. I will not get sick of you, and I'm not going anywhere. The only way I'm leaving you is if you tell me, hand on heart, this isn't what you want. Stop trying to fight us. We were always inevitable."

His words make my breath catch and my stomach somersault. As I gaze into his olive eyes, I believe every word. How could I not?

Time and time again, he's proven his unwavering commitment to me. He isn't trying to save me. He's trying to support me. That's what partners do.

My entire life has been void of people showing me pure love without strings attached, so it's hard to comprehend that this man only wants me with no frills. The real me, just Kai.

Eden sits against the headboard and pats his lap as an invitation. I climb on straddling his thick thighs, and he cups my cheeks before saying, "I'm sorry to break it to you, Kai, but you're mine."

He gives me a gentle smile and a single tear rolls down his masculine face, softening his torn expression. He'll forever be my sensitive beefcake. I need to stop doubting his intentions.

"You're mine, too. I'm sorry, honey." My voice quakes, more tears clouding my vision.

"It's ok, but you have to stop fighting this, alright?"

"I'll stop," I promise, leaning forward to give him a delicate kiss.

My arms slip around Eden's neck, and I snuggle into his chest, inhaling his grounding scent. He lightly strokes my short hair, and my body grows lax on top of him. Before long, I'm drifting off in the safety of his arms.