Chapter 14

Carter

I saw the look she gave me. I could feel the tension in her body. She didn't want what was happening to happen, but she didn't do anything to stop it. I didn't know how I felt about that, but I did know that I couldn't let her run from me. I needed more, and I had to convince her that she needed it too.

"My back is starting to get wet." I tried to break the tension. I laughed lightly as I pushed against her.

"Oh, yeah." She scrambled off of me and began brushing snow from her pants. "It is kinda cold now." She stood and offered me a hand. When I grabbed it, she pulled with more force than I thought she possessed.

"Wanna grab some hot chocolate?" I motioned to the exit of the snow tent. I knew once we were back outside in the sunshine and warm air, we would thaw out.

"That's sounds nice." She smiled sweetly.

I led her outside, and the more walking we did, the more awkward and stilted the conversation became. It was as if she were pretending that the kiss didn't happen, and we were back to putting both emotional and physical space between us.

I let it go as we perused the rest of the carnival. I wanted to talk about it, but I'd rather do it in private. We stayed until dusk, and then I offered to take her home.

The drive back to her apartment was quiet, and when I pulled into a parking space, she started to rush to get out. "Can we talk about this?" I blurted the words out. She froze, her hand on the door handle. I watched as her shoulders seemed to sink.

"Do we have to?" The words were barely a whisper.

"Yeah, we do." I didn't want to sound like I was forcing her to, but if I didn't speak my piece, I thought I might burst. I'd been burying these feelings for weeks, some days to the point that I couldn't think of anything else. I needed to express myself or I might try more than kissing the next time something like this happened.

She slouched back in the seat and stared out the windshield. We sat there in silence, and I willed her to say something. After a few moments, I realized I was going to have to be the one to start this. "I'm sure it's obvious that I like you." I glanced over at her, but she continued to stare straight ahead. "I'm not supposed to date patients. I'm supposed to keep it professional," I continued. "It's against the rules for me to act on anything I feel for you."

Her head swung in my direction. "So why did you?" Her eyes darted around my face. Then they softened, and I saw a flash of what I was feeling flitter across her face.

"Because I can't deny it anymore, and I think you feel something too." I swallowed.

"I can't feel something." She bit her lip as soon as the words left her mouth. "I can't do this again."

"Do what again?" I was confused.

"I had just gotten out of a relationship when this happened." She pointed at her leg. "He left as soon as things got hard. We were together for years. I thought he was my one." Her hand curled into a fist as anger filled her features.

"If he left as soon as things got hard, then he wasn't the one. The one stays when things are hard." I didn't know who I was trying to convince here, her or myself. "He was an idiot."

"You sound like my roommate." She laughed lightly as her eyes stayed focused on something in front of us.

"She's smart." I grinned. "I don't know how this will work, but I can't be friends anymore. It's too hard." I sighed. "I need more."

"More? Like what?" Her eyes went wide and she shifted in the seat.

"More like a date. A real date." I laughed. "You know… with dinner at a nice restaurant and an activity of sorts. I walk you to your door when it's over and we awkwardly stand there wondering what the other's thinking?" I was trying to lighten the mood, but she seemed even more nervous,.

"You seem like a great guy, but…" I knew where this was going and I needed to stop it. I'd heard this speech before, and I wasn't ready to give up yet.

"Wait, wait, wait." I held my hand up. "You don't know me well enough to do this yet." I sounded as though I was pleading. "What did this guy do to you to make you so afraid of taking another chance?"

"We had everything in common, and it didn't work. You and I are at totally different places in our lives. Why would this work better?" She seemed frustrated.

"Sometimes that makes things better. Haven't you ever heard that opposites attract? Besides, I know what you have at stake here. I know what life looks like for top level athletes. I understand you better than you think."

"I guess you're right," she murmured. "So where does this leave us?"

"It leaves me in a place where I want to break the rules and see where this goes." I laughed. "And I'm not a rule breaker."

"Ok." She nodded and then finally looked at me. "I'm in." She smiled.

"In?" I chuckled.

"I'll give this a chance," she clarified.

"You're not just saying that, right?" I glanced over to see her reaction. "You're really going to be open-minded?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Her brow crinkled.

I shrugged. "Just asking. You're not the first girl I've been attracted to. I don't want to play games here. I like you. I want this to be an honest shot." I opened my door and climbed out before she could respond. I knew what college girls were like, but I wanted to believe she was different. She'd proven me wrong about everything else I believed.

I opened her door and stepped back, waiting for her to climb out. When she stood, I caged my arms around her as I backed her against the side of the car. "How's Saturday night? 7?" I smiled.

"Saturday works." She grinned as she looked over my shoulder at something behind us and giggled.

"What's so funny?" I leaned closer.

"We have an audience," she whispered as I leaned closer.

"Let's give them a show." I brushed my lips over hers with intent this time. She melted against me as I slowly melded our mouths together. A squeal sounded from behind me and Ava giggled, breaking the kiss.

"I need to go. I'll see you Tuesday for PT," she whispered as I stepped back, allowing her to move past me toward the steps. "I had a great time."

"Same. Have a good night," I called as I watched her disappear upstairs. Ashley did a little finger wave before they both slipped into the apartment.

Ava

"What was that?" Ashley squealed with excitement.

"That was Carter asking me out on a real date, and me saying yes," I mused as a grin spread across my face. Maybe I was a little more excited about this than I let on.

"So are you two like together?" Ash clapped happily.

"I guess? Maybe?" I shrugged. "We didn't really define it."

"You think he has any hot friends?" She flopped down on the couch as I went to grab a juice from the fridge. "I bet he's great in bed." She closed her eyes and sighed.

"All we did was kiss." I gasped as I took a sip of juice and sat down, visions of Carter flitting through my head. He was lean and muscular and I could feel the definition of his body when I tackled him in the snow.

"So far. God, A. I bet he could take you to another world in the sack." She started fanning herself.

"All I agreed to was a real date. I'm not ready for that yet." I slouched back and started daydreaming. I'm sure she was right. Carter worked out daily, and it showed. He was a perfect gentleman today, and I'd bet he was a generous lover. He seemed to want me to be happy.

"You're thinking about it, aren't you?" She giggled. "I can see it all over your face. You're thinking about what it would feel like… the two of you… together."

"Maybe a little." I smiled dreamily.

"A little?" She smirked.

"Ok, a lot." I laughed. "He just seems too perfect. Does that make sense? I'm waiting for the bad stuff to show up." I glanced at the ceiling, willing my mom to give me a sign.

"Not all guys have baggage. He just might be the one you've been waiting for." She shrugged before standing. "Think about it. There's one person out there for each of us. Maybe you found yours." She walked away. "I'm going to take a shower. Don't overthink this date," she called over her shoulder.

"I won't," I called back. The truth was, I probably already was overthinking it. Before a game, I always tried to run all the plays in my head. I didn't like surprises, and thrived on predictability. I guess dating was kinda the same. Danny and I met as kids. I knew pretty much everything about him. I could predict every date and knew by what he'd say whether he was telling me the truth about things. I didn't feel this with Carter. Everything was new and I was still learning about him. What if I never learned enough? He was so much of a chance that I wasn't sure my heart or my head could handle it.