Chapter One

College Freshman Year

"I don't know why you have me at this damn game," Peyton complains next to me.

"Come on. It's Kellan's first game. I have to be here to support him. You didn't have to come with me," I tell her.

She rolls her eyes. "As if I would let you come alone. Someone would kidnap your adorable little ass."

I ignore her comment. Ever since we met on move-in day, she has been commenting on how small I am. I guess being five foot even doesn't help. Especially when she's easily five-seven. The fact that she tends to make me blush a lot doesn't help. She's dubbed me her adorable little innocent friend. The one who needs protecting.

Not that I mind much. I'm as introverted as an introvert gets, so it's nice having an extroverted friend to help keep the attention off of me. I think the roommate gods were looking upon me when they gave me her.

"Oh, look. It's Clayton James. God, he's so hot. Isn't he?" She nudges me.

I glance up at the screen over the arena. The man in question is skating around the rink as they put up his player picture with his stats. He's not bad-looking. Brown hair, slightly long enough to show some curls, with bright green eyes. He's the epitome of a hot hockey player.

I snort at her question. "Sure is. Probably a player too. You know how those guys are."

Her eyes soften. "I think Kellan has you tainted. Not all guys are as free-loving as your best friend there."

She's not wrong. Kellan has always jumped from girlfriend to girlfriend. I call him a serial monogamist. He claims he never has sex with them and leaves. That's not his style. He prefers to date them for a while, and when things start to heat up and get serious, he bounces. I think he means well. He wants them to work it out, but somehow, in the end, it never does. At first, it was because we were young, but when he started being noticed by colleges for his skills on the ice, girls flocked to him for his potential fame.

It killed me to see girls fight for his attention only to drop him if a better prospect came around.

I have a feeling college is only going to be worse. He's only a freshman and not even on the starting lineup, yet he already gets so much attention.

In high school, he was popular, but it wasn't everything. He was still pretty normal. College hockey is a different beast. We can barely get food in the cafeteria on campus without him being recognized. I guess that's what happens when you are recruited to one of the top college hockey teams.

It's expected that seventy percent of the players from this team will be offered a position in the Professional Hockey League, or PHL. I'm so excited for Kellan, but I also worry that one day he will forget about me.

This is our first semester at Walker University, and he has already been pulled in a million directions. Between practice for the Walker Wolves and all the physical training sessions he has been assigned, I've barely seen him since we arrived on campus.

Honestly, if it weren't for Peyton, I would feel like I'd already lost him. She's been keeping me busy so I don't focus on it, but the truth is, maybe I have.

Besides some texts here and there, this has been the longest we have spent apart, and it's only been two days since I saw him last.

"Oh, look, there's Kellan. Is he going to start tonight?" Peyton asks.

I can't help but frown at her question. "He didn't tell me he got a starting position. I thought that other guy, what was his name? Goads, I think, was supposed to start. I haven't talked to him since Wednesday, though."

Peyton brings up her phone and does a quick search. Then she turns the phone toward me.

Kellan Cooper, number forty-three, is in as Hank Goads, number twenty-one, is out on a career-ending injury.

My hand lands on my lips. That poor guy. All his dreams were crushed with one injury. My heart hurts for him as I imagine it being Kellan. I've been with him since our freshman year of high school. I know what these guys put into this sport. It would be devastating for Kellan if he lost this.

"Guess he forgot to tell you," Peyton harrumphs.

She's not Kellan's biggest fan. She feels he's been stringing me along all these years. Especially after I admitted I once had feelings for him.

Those feelings still make themselves known from time to time, but I've made my peace with them. I'm happy to be his friend.

Peyton is only trying to be a good friend and roommate. Honestly, it's refreshing to meet a girl who isn't falling over herself to get to him. Or me. I can't tell you how many times girls in school were either mean to me because of my friendship with Kellan or super nice because they thought I was their in.

I have to give it to Kellan. He never let either behavior stand. He always put them in their places.

A quick way to get on his shitlist is to do something to me. Girls still tried, though.

I'm hoping college will be different.

"Oh look. It's starting. How much do you actually know about hockey?" Peyton asks.

I snort. "More than you can imagine."

"Good. I'll be asking a ton of questions because I've never watched a single game."

I shake my head, but watch the ice.

Usually, I am so laser-focused on the game because I'm by myself that I get really into it. Watching the game with another person, one who isn't trying to use me for my connections, is a new experience. One that I rather enjoy.

Peyton gives it her all. Between asking me questions and yelling at the refs, she's transformed into a bona fide cheerleader right in front of my eyes.

"Come on. Stand up and cheer with me," she begs as she grabs my arm.

I shake my head at her. I might curse in my head at the dumb calls, but I would never scream like she is.

"Was that a check?" she whispers to me.

I shrug. "Could have been fair, but hard to tell from up here," I tell her.

We are sitting in the back of the arena, almost at the top of the student section. She wanted to get closer, but that's where all the drunk students are, and I'd prefer not to.

"Oh, come on ref. That wasn't a damn check! If you want to see a check, I can come down there and show you one," she yells suddenly, making me chuckle.

They take a moment to reset, so she drops into the seat next to me.

"I think I might like this hockey thing. I can't believe they got James on a check. Man is on fire out there, though. Did you see him?"

I nod. "I saw. He's a great player. Probably going to be drafted in the summer. I doubt he finishes his senior year here."

She gives me a teasing look. "Looking up the team stats?"

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, right. Kellan wouldn't shut up about the team stats over the summer. He made me quiz him on them so he could be prepared."

"Sure. Oh, Kellan's got the puck."

I glance up and watch as he skates down the ice, passing it to another player. He keeps moving as that player passes it back. Then he shoots, and he scores.

The arena goes crazy.

All I do is smile.

Clayton James might be a great player, but Kellan is one of the best I've ever seen.

I can't wait to see him do great things.

There are only seconds left in the game and we're tied. Going into overtime is not ideal because too much can happen. We need to end this now.

Wyatt Scott is the best goalie in the College Hockey League right now. The second best? That happens to be Jeremiah Hanks, our other goalie.

Still, the offense from the Cinci Badgers is good. They have had us against the boards most of the night.

Slinging the puck to the new kid, Kellan Cooper, I watch as he moves down the ice.

Kid has talent, that's for sure. His attitude could use a little adjustment, but freshmen are always that way. They think they are God's gift to the sport until they realize that they aren't the hot shit on the team like they used to be.

Most of the time, freshmen don't even get to play. Cooper is only in because another one of our starters is out with a career-ending injury. Poor guy fucked around and found out. This is just a preseason game to warm up, so Coach decided to give Cooper a shot.

While he's good fundamentally, he doesn't have any heart.

I can see the moment Cooper considers taking the shot without assistance. I want to yell at him not to, but I keep my mouth shut, moving into position to accept the pass if he takes it.

His eyes meet mine briefly. Then the puck comes flying my way.

I catch it easily before taking the shot.

It all happens in less than three seconds. The horn blows, then the crowd erupts.

The game isn't over yet.

Skating over to Cooper, I pat him on the helmet.

"Good job, Coop. That was a good pass. You could have made the shot, but you made a smart decision. Passing was a better bet."

He's beaming at me. Kid has had a bit of hero worship since he met me. I guess he's been following me since I started here two years ago.

"Thanks, man."

I skate away, getting ready for the next face-off. There are seconds left in the game, but anything can happen.

Staying focused is key.

The puck is gone, being passed from one player to another. Cinci has pulled their goalie in order to have an extra player on the ice, but it doesn't matter.

Within seconds, the game is over. The crowd is going nuts. Our players are in a huge circle on the ice, hugging one another.

You would have thought we won the Golden Puck instead of just one preseason game.

It's a good feeling, though. Knowing we are at the top of our game. We have a real shot at the CHL puck this year.

Our team is one of the most elite in the College Hockey League, but we haven't been able to secure a puck win in about four years now. It's the longest gap in school history that I fully intend to end this year.

"Locker room!" Coach yells, but he has a smile on his face.

I watch as everyone walks by the bench. Then I look out at the crowd like I always do. I soak in that feeling I get on the rink. The calm. The peace.

"James," Coach calls out.

I take a deep breath, loving how the air in here is colder. More crisp, almost.

Then I head toward Coach. He pats me on the shoulder as I slip on my blade guards. Then he follows me into the locker room.

The guys are rowdy and already celebrating the win. I wish I could be more like them. That I could live in the moment. I know many of them are using tonight as their last night to celebrate and drink before the season starts. I almost never drink, though, and tonight won't change that. My mind celebrated the win and then moved on.

I'm already thinking about what we need to do to prepare for our first regulation game.

"All right, boys. Settle down," Coach yells out.

Everyone starts to quiet down. Coach Miller has that aura about him, though. When he makes a demand, you better follow it. Guy knows his shit. He played for this college back in the eighties. Then he went on to play in the PHL for eight years, which was considered long back then. An injury to his leg had him retiring, but he immediately jumped back into it as an assistant coach then to head coach. When they offered him the position here, he said he would stay until he retired for good.

He's in his sixties now, but he doesn't seem to want to slow down at all. He's a good coach. Cares about us players. He stays out of our personal lives, though, which is a good thing.

"Good game out there, guys. We won. That's something to be proud of. I know I'm proud of the way you've played. Cooper, you really stepped up to the plate. You showed me that you listened during practice and trusted your teammates. Woods, you were the king of the assists tonight. Hayes, you really did your job as an enforcer. Those guys didn't know what hit them. Scott, you stopped all but two shots your way. There were over twenty of them. Amazing job, guys."

The guys are hooting and cheering.

I couldn't be prouder of my guys. Brett Woods and Beckett Hayes have been my best friends since we started together as freshmen. We took Wyatt Scott under our wing this year, but he has quickly found his place within the group. I couldn't imagine playing hockey without these guys by my side.

"Now you know you all did good, but there is one player who showed true character and leadership out there tonight. One who each one of you have come to me about in the past months to sing his praises." He looks at me. "James, get up here."

I move to his side and push back tears of joy. I know where he's going with this. It's what I've always wanted. What I have worked my ass off toward.

"Boys, say hello to your new captain, Clayton James."

The room explodes, and the guys crowd us as they congratulate me. Coach backs away, smiling at me before he lets the guys take me over.

We must stand in the locker room like that for thirty minutes as each guy makes their way over to shake my hand or tell me how much I deserve it.

The smile on my face never leaves.

When the room finally thins out, I take a quick shower. Brett and Wyatt are waiting for me.

"Where's Beckett?" I ask as I get dressed.

"Ran home to get the party started. There's no getting out of it tonight, Cap. You have to take at least one shot," Brett tells me.

I laugh. He's always trying to get me to drink in the offseason. I never do, though.

Maybe one won't hurt.

As we exit the locker room, there is still a small group of people waiting. One of them, I know, is waiting for me. As soon as I see her, I cringe.

"Clayton, you did amazing," Josie yells as soon as I'm close enough. She pushes her way through the others until she's at my side.

She's one of the athletic volunteers, so it's not like I can keep her out of here. She hasn't given up hope in me like the others. I know she's been telling people we are sleeping together. She likes the popularity it gives her. Especially since I haven't denied it.

She's not the first one to tell the lie, but she is the first one to claim it's happened more than once.

"Go away, Josie. I told you I'm not interested, and stop telling people I am," I grumble to her.

Brett steps into my side then. "Josie, honey, desperate isn't a good look. I wouldn't even bang you at this point. When are you going to get the point? My man here doesn't want you."

She gasps before looking at me with a glare. "I've given you the benefit of the doubt, but all those other girls were right about you. You're nothing but a player."

Her voice is loud enough that the others lingering around have started to pay attention. She gives me a chance to stop her, but when I don't, she turns, stomping off.

"I don't know why you don't set the record straight. Those girls thrive off the popularity they gain from claiming they have slept with the playboy Clayton James."

I shake my head. "There's no point. It's not worth it. Let's get out of here. I'm over the crowd."

He chuckles. "You're not hiding out in your room tonight, Cap. We have some celebrating to do."