17. Sawyer

Chapter 17

Sawyer

I step into the kitchen early the next morning and have to blink a few times to make sure I’m not seeing things when I find Violet already there, cooking breakfast with Jake.

“Daddy!” Jake exclaims and climbs down from the chair he’s standing on next to Violet at the stove to run over and give me a good morning hug.

Violet turns and smiles at me, looking mostly recovered from last night, thankfully.

“Good morning. How are you feeling?” I ask her on my way to the fridge to grab the large container of orange juice I keep inside.

“I’m good, thanks to an angel who came and held my hair back last night,” she says and shoots me a grateful look as I pour my glass of orange juice.

“Anytime, heartbreaker.”

Violet freezes at the stove, staring at me with her spatula clutched tightly in one hand like she can’t quite believe what I just called her—until Jake climbs back up on the chair.

“Ms. Violet, I think the pancakes are burning!”

“Oh, no, you’re right,” Violet groans and scoops the darkened pancake out of the pan and onto the stack already piled on a plate beside the stove. “I’ll eat that one. I like them a little dark anyway. Are you hungry, Sawyer?”

“I’ll eat anything my little man makes.” I ruffle Jake’s hair on my way by. Normally, I wouldn’t want him close to the stove like this where he could get burned, but I trust Violet with him, and he’s far enough away on the chair that nothing’s likely to happen anyway.

“I helped make the mix, Daddy!” Jake says, pointing at the mess of dishes in and around the sink. There’s pancake mix drizzled all over, but I’m not bothered.

“Yeah, I kind of thought you might have.”

Violet chuckles to herself while I start cleaning up some of the mess in the sink. But my phone starts ringing in my pajama pocket, so I dry my hands in a hurry on the towel hanging on the cabinet door under the sink and pull my phone out. My jaw clenches when I read the name on the screen.

“Who is it?” Violet asks.

“My ex.”

Her eyes widen, and I step aside to take the call, not wanting to interrupt the fun. My conversations with my ex these days are usually tense at best, and I don’t expect this one to be any different.

“Hi, Miriam,” I say after swiping across the screen to answer.

“I need to borrow some money,” she says bluntly. No pleasantries, no greeting.

“Why?” I ask, trying to keep my voice calm despite the irritation prickling under my skin.

I paid Miriam alimony for a couple of years after the divorce, and she’s got a good job—but despite all of that, this isn’t the first time she’s called me asking for more. And calling it a loan is somewhat laughable, since she’s never once paid me back.

“It’s for a business opportunity,” she tells me, and I scrub a hand over my face.

This isn’t anything new either. She’s invested in or started up more failed businesses than I can count, mainly because she starts with grandiose ideas and then gets frustrated and bails out the moment things get even a little hard.

A lot like the way she handled our marriage, I guess.

“Miriam, no,” I tell her, my voice quiet and clipped. “I’m not doing that again. I told you.”

She starts to respond, but before she can, the sound of Jake and Violet laughing together about something fills the kitchen. Miriam must be able to hear it through the phone, because she makes an irritated sound, clicking her tongue against her teeth.

“You have a woman over? At this time of the morning?” she asks, sounding testy—which is hypocritical as fuck, considering we’ve been divorced for years, and she cheated on me for months while we were still married.

“That’s the nanny,” I murmur, turning away and lowering my voice even more. “I needed some extra help, since you have no interest in helping raise our son.”

Jake doesn’t hear me, still happily absorbed in making breakfast, but I catch a flash of movement as Violet looks over at me, sympathy and concern reflecting in her large hazel eyes.

She huffs a breath. “He’s doing just fine, Sawyer. He doesn’t need me.”

Of course he fucking doesn’t , I think, clenching the phone in a hard grip. I’ve done everything in my power to make sure he's happy and healthy and okay. But he craves a mother figure, and that’s something I can’t give him .

“Right,” I say tightly. “Well then, I guess this conversation is over.”

“Wait! What about the loan? This is an amazing opportunity for me, and I?—”

“I already told you. The answer is no.”

She hisses out an angry sigh, then inhales as if she’s about to say something else—but she must change her mind, because she just hangs up instead. The phone goes quiet, and I stand where I am, closing my eyes for a moment as I wrestle my emotions back under control.

“Everything okay?” Violet asks softly, and I open my eyes and glance over at her.

There’s a tiny line between her eyebrows and a hint of worry in her eyes. She also has a little smudge of flour on her cheek, and although it probably shouldn’t, just the sight of her eases the knot in my chest a bit.

“Yeah,” I say, stepping back over to where she and Jake are finishing up the pancakes. It feels like stepping into a little bubble of warmth. “Everything is fine.”

The look of concern doesn’t quite leave her eyes, but she nods, reaching out to squeeze my forearm in a gesture of support.

We all sit down to eat breakfast together, and Violet glances over at Jake. “Are you excited about going to see your dad’s practice today?”

He bobs in his seat, nodding emphatically. “Yeah! We get to go out on the ice with you, right, Daddy?”

His entire class is taking a field trip to the arena today, where they’ll get to watch us practice and then spend a bit of time learning more about hockey and the players, even getting a chance to come out on the ice. Violet surprised me by offering to help chaperone the trip, which is really sweet, considering she could have that time to herself instead. It’s just another sign of how invested she is in Jake’s life.

“Yup,” I promise him. “But only if you’re good while we practice.”

“I think we can handle that part, can’t we, Jake?” Violet asks him, and he giggles and nods at her.

I love how well they’re bonding. Violet hasn’t been here long, but it feels like she and Jake have known each other for years already. I shouldn’t be thinking about this, but the moment makes me wonder how Jake’s going to handle it when Violet inevitably has to leave for California.

And how I’m going to handle it.

I push the thought down as far as I can, resolving to cross that bridge later, and finish the rest of my breakfast so I can get ready for practice.

Violet takes Jake to school after we finish breakfast, and I head out shortly after.

It’s not unusual at all for us to have various groups visit the practice arena to watch us run drills, so the vibe isn’t any different than a usual day as my teammates and I gear up in the locker room. It’s fun having a bunch of kids in the stands—although they’re young enough that they might not understand all the ins and outs of what we’re doing, their energy is infectious.

Coach Dunaway doesn’t take it easy on us just because there are kids in the stands though, pushing us through several drills and a scrimmage before our practice finally ends. It feels good though. We’re hitting a solid stride, and I’m feeling optimistic about the games we have coming up.

Once practice is done, Margo and the rest of the PR team ask everyone who’s willing to stay a bit longer to remain on the ice. Most of my teammates stay, which makes me grin.

Several of the Aces staff have been doling out ice skates to kids and teachers, and people start to line up at the door to the rink. Jake and Violet are toward the front of the line, and I’m a little disappointed when I see Violet is still in her shoes, not ice skates, but Jake spots me and starts jumping up and down with one hand in Violet’s and the other waving to me ecstatically. His beaming smile takes the disappointment away, and I wait for them to get to the front of the line, then skate up to meet them.

“You make that look so easy,” Violet says, and I laugh.

“It’s almost like I’m paid to do it for a living or something. I take it that’s why you aren’t joining us?”

“Trust me, you wouldn’t want to see me out there. Reese got all the skating genes in our family. I’d only embarrass you both.”

“I already tried to talk her into it, Daddy,” Jake says, waddling toward me on his skates. He reaches for my hand, so I take it and help him step onto the ice so he doesn’t slip. “She’s scared, but that’s okay. We all get scared sometimes, right?”

“Right. Totally normal,” I tell him, then lock eyes with Violet again. “Last chance. Are you sure you don’t want to strap on a pair of skates and come with us?”

She bites her lip, looking torn, but shakes her head. “Maybe next time.”

“Fair enough. Come on then, Jake. Let’s show ’em how it’s done.”

“Yeah!” Jake exclaims, his voice echoing across the rink and making him laugh.

My son has been skating practically as long as he’s known how to walk, so he’s a natural on the ice. I do a few laps with him before we find some of the kids who look a bit more unsteady on their skates and offer them some tips and advice.

Watching his patience and gentleness as he helps a somewhat frightened looking girl about his age wobble her way across the ice makes my heart expand so much that it feels like my chest might burst. I wish I could’ve given him a family that didn’t splinter into pieces, but despite it all, my son is one of the best people I know.

After a while, I glance down at Jake. “Want to take another lap with me? As fast as we can go?”

His eyes light up. “Yeah!”

“Okay, then.” I grin. “Hold on tight.”

With that, I lift him onto my shoulders and dart off across the ice, holding him tight. He wraps his hands around my neck and squeals happily as we soar around the perimeter of the rink. As we circle back around to where Violet is watching from the stands, he points at her.

“Daddy, is that one of your friends talking to Ms. Violet?” he asks over the rush of the wind in our ears.

The grin that’s been plastered on my face falls when I see that Violet is talking to some young guy who seems to be a chaperone for one of the groups of kids that came today.

The man is sitting next to her in the stands, one arm draped across the armrest as he leans closer to speak to her. He’s clearly flirting with her, and I can’t tell if she’s just being polite or not, but she laughs at something he says.

My stomach twists.

I want her to laugh like that for me .

Slowing down, I lift Jake off my shoulders and deposit him carefully on his own skates. He takes my hand, and when I glance over at Violet and the other chaperone again, my jaw clenches as I see her reach inside her purse for a scrap of paper and a pen. Is she giving him her number?

Irritation pricks at me. Everywhere she goes, men keep hitting on her, and while it’s hardly surprising—she’s a beautiful, vivacious woman, after all—it bothers me more than I’d like to admit.

I’m just being protective of her, that’s all, I tell myself, although part of me knows that’s a lie.

When we get off the ice, Violet stands up to greet us, beaming at Jake.

“Did you see how fast we were going, Ms. Violet?” he asks.

She crouches down to tap the tip of his nose. “I sure did! You were as fast as lightning.”

He launches into a story about how he helped a few of the other kids practice their skating, and while they’re distracted with that, I glance over at the guy who was hitting on her. He rises from his seat, but when he starts to walk away, I follow after him, catching up to him a few yards away—far enough that Violet won’t be able to hear us.

“Hey,” I say, and he turns to look at me.

“Oh, hey, man.” He smiles. “Nice work out there on the ice, it was a great practice. I’m a big Aces fan.”

“Thanks.” I hold out my hand. “I think you have something that doesn’t belong to you.”

“I… what?” His brows pinch together.

“Her number,” I tell him quietly but firmly. “It’s not for you.”

He blinks, looking taken aback and a bit intimidated. I feel fucking insane, but I don’t back down, keeping my hand extended until he reaches into his back pocket and digs out the piece of paper Violet gave him.

I crumple it up in my hand, give him a curt nod, and then turn and head back toward her and Jake.

“Can I go back out on the ice again?” Jake asks as I approach. “Just for a little while?”

“Sure,” I say, and he scrambles back out onto the rink to rejoin the other kids skating around.

“He’s a natural,” Violet observes as we stand side by side, watching him. “Just like his dad.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, I think I put his first pair of skates on him when he was about a year old.”

“Then I guess he’s had plenty of practice.” She purses her lips, tilting her head to one side. “Maybe I should’ve gotten a pair of skates and joined you. I’m really not great at it, but he looks like he’s having a blast.” She laughs softly. “And if I’d been out there, I could’ve avoided giving a fake number to a stranger.”

My gaze snaps to her. “ Fake number?”

She makes a face. “Yeah. I mean, I know I said we should both give dating a try again, and I really will! But that guy was just a little overbearing and not my type, so when he asked for my number, I just made one up.”

A laugh bursts out of me, a flood of relief shooting through my chest. She didn’t give him her number. She isn’t interested in him.

Violet puts a hand to her face, shooting me an embarrassed grin as she peers through her fingers. “Is that bad?”

“No, heartbreaker.” I shake my head, smiling back at her. “It’s not bad. Not at all.”

Her grin widens, and the sight of it makes my heart skip a beat in my chest.

God, I’m so fucked .