Chapter 8

McKenize

I've missed this. I've missed him. I know I need to tell him about who took me the first time. Who I'm almost certain took me the second time. But he has his mom on this pedestal, and I'm not sure he'll be willing to take her down. Not even for me.

He kisses me like his life depends on it. Like I'm the very essence of his life. When he pulls back, I suck in a breath. Maybe he would take her down for me.

"So, you do love me," I murmur.

He chuckles and pulls me over to his chair. He sits and pulls me into his lap. "I do." He has no idea how much I needed to hear him say that. "I hate the first time I said that to you was when you couldn't remember everything else we've been through together."

I lean back and stare at him, letting his words sink in. "So, we never said that to each other before?"

He shakes his head as he runs his hand through my hair, his eyes tracing the movement. "No. I regretted it every single day. When you came back after the first time you were taken, you were…" He pauses as he thinks back to days I still don't remember. "Different."

I tilt my head at him as he continues to run his fingers through my hair. "Different how?"

His hands pause as he looks over my shoulder like he's remembering. "You were sick of my shit and you called me out on it."

I chuckle, imagining what he means. I realized it was his mom and his whole reasoning behind buying me was bullshit. But if he's saying now, he wanted me in spite of that. That he loves me. Maybe he will choose me. I wouldn't have known that then.

Pushing those thoughts out of my mind, my eyes land on the spot just below his ear. I frown that there isn't a mark there. Why would there be? I've been gone for two months. He smirks and tilts his head. "Go on, love."

I want to deny him. Deny what I was just thinking. But this isn't sex. It's foreplay. Foreplay can last for minutes, hours, weeks, maybe even months. After I've justified it in my head, I lean forward and lick his neck.

"I remember the first time I gave you a hickey," I murmur as I suck his skin between my lips. The sharp intake of breath has me humming.

"Do you?" he asks as his hand grabs the back of my head to keep me in place.

I don't answer him, instead I suck harder. He gets hard against my thigh and everything within me wants to ride him. But I've put up boundaries and I'm keeping them up until I can trust him again. My hand travels down his chest to his unbuckled belt. I grip him over his slacks and he moans. His head tilts back further. "Fuck, Kenz." I pop off his neck and inspect my work. My lips tip into a smile and I sit back, removing my hand from his hard dick.

His eyes are dark with desire, but he doesn't try to take it any further. "When did you get your tattoo?" I ask.

"The day after you gave it to me. I wanted to make sure it was in the exact same spot."

I narrow my eyes at him. "I hope a man gave it to you."

He laughs and nods. "No other woman will ever touch me except you." The satisfaction that settles in the pit of my stomach is hard to hide.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

He sighs. "I was an asshole."

"I'm not going to argue about that." He smirks and leans up, kissing me on the forehead.

"I was trying to stay away from you. The amount of times I fucked my hand while you were sleeping…" My mouth pops open in surprise. "Anyway, one morning a few weeks after I got you back, you came down for breakfast." He licks his lips and smirks.

"We were eating in silence and you said, ‘I wonder if I had married Caleb if he would have kept me satisfied.' So I made everyone leave, and I fucked you right there. From that point on, I refused to stay away."

I stare at him in disbelief. "I can't believe I said that," I admit.

One side of his mouth lifts in a half smile. "Like I said, you were sick of dealing with my shit and you knew exactly what to say to get a response." He runs his fingers through my hair again. "So, needless to say, you will be staying in our bedroom. And I'll give you space, but we will be having sex again soon."

My heart beats heavy in my chest. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I should have stayed with Larry. Maybe I should have followed through with selling my rings and going somewhere he wouldn't be able to find me. But I couldn't. Every time I'd even think about it, I knew it wasn't a wise decision and I knew I'd be back.

I can't live without him. I don't want to live without him.I nod slowly, accepting his terms. "Okay, but you're going to tell me something I don't know every single day."

He nods. "I'll do whatever it takes to keep you with me."

I want to tell him it was his mom that kidnapped me. But I'm missing some key bits of information with my memory loss, so I'm going to wait until I can put those pieces together myself or my memory comes back completely. Whichever comes first.

"How about we go out and celebrate tonight? Then we'll start having hard conversations tomorrow," he suggests. A flash of a piano bar enters my mind from the dream I had the other night.

I tilt my head at him. "Do you own a piano bar?" I ask.

The lines next to his eyes crinkle slightly as he returns my look. "Yes."

"I had a dream about it the other night. I don't remember anything concrete, but I remember the feeling I had when I was there. I knew I was with you and we had fun. Can we go?"

He smiles and nods. "Of course. It was one of our favorite spots." He pushes me off his lap and buckles his belt.

I arch an eyebrow. "What were you about to do before I walked in?" I ask him.

He chuckles as he stands. "I was going to look at your pictures and imagine it was your hand and not mine." I shake my head and laugh as my neck and cheeks heat up. "By the way, you're wearing that dress tonight and you're not going upstairs to put panties on. You'll go just as you are."

My mouth pops open. "How did you know?"

He arches an eyebrow at me. "That dress leaves little to the imagination." His hand trails from my shoulder, down my waist, and over my ass.

"And you don't mind that?" I ask.

He smirks as he pulls me back into his arms. "I don't mind people looking as long as they don't touch." I wrap my arms around his neck as I gaze up at him, unable to stop from smiling back at him. He places his forehead against mine, his hand sliding up to cup the back of my head. "You're mine. I'm the only one allowed to touch you. I don't share."

He's said that before and I remember it. "Neither do I," I whisper as his lips land on mine again. He has no idea how much I've longed for him these past two months. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but we'll come out on the other side. There isn't another choice.