Chapter 30

Mcenzie

My body sways slightly and I open my eyes enough to see Phoenix lifting me from the SUV. I lay my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me into the house. I'm exhausted and feel so dirty. No one speaks as we enter the house, and Phoenix carries me up the stairs. He walks into our room and directly to the bathroom.

He sits me down gently on the bathroom counter and kisses my forehead. "I'm going to warm up the shower." He keeps his voice low as he steps back, making sure I don't crumple from exhaustion. He yanks the T-shirt off he put on before leaving the warehouse and throws it in the laundry basket.

His muscles ripple beneath his skin as he leans into the shower and turns it on, closes the door, and walks back over to me. He grips the camisole I wore tonight, so I raise my hands as he takes it off and throws it on top of his shirt. His fingers trace the collar around my throat before reaching inside his jeans and taking the key out of his wallet.

I recoil at the thought of him taking it off. In such a short amount of time, I've become attached to it. "I'll put it back on after we take a shower," he promises. I nod once and sit up so he can unlock it. Exhaustion and sadness overwhelms me as tears begin to stream down my face.

"If only I had it before." I choke on the words and Nix gathers me in his arms, trying to comfort me. When he realizes my sobs aren't going to stop anytime soon, he pulls back slightly and finishes undressing, then helps me out of my jeans. He lifts me in his arms again and walks into the shower with me. He puts us directly under the stream of the water.

I sag into him as the warm water washes away the grime, sweat, and blood. My body shakes with the sobs wracking through my body. I'm not crying over what we did to that asshole. I'm crying for innocence lost, for all the women he hurt, and for the memories I still don't have.

Nix is like an anchor in the middle of my storm. He holds me tight and doesn't waver. Our relationship may have started on rocky ground, but he chose me. That's all I wanted. He chose me over his mother, even over his own morals. Morals he swears he doesn't have, but I know him. He is good. I don't care what he says. He is good and I will spend the rest of my life showing him that.

My sobs finally lessen, and I look up at Nix. My husband. The love of my life. He returns my gaze, those piercing blue eyes focused solely on me. "I love you." The relief in his eyes breaks my heart. I lift my hand and rub it along his jaw. "You checked in with me multiple times tonight. You have no idea how much I needed that. And you got rid of two men that did awful things to me and so many other women. You chose me."

He rests his forehead on mine and pushes my wet hair over my shoulder. "I'll always choose you. Always." He kisses me softly.

When he pulls away, I slump even more in his arms. Exhaustion is going to pull me under any moment now. Nix grabs my shampoo and turns me around. He washes my hair while massaging my temples. Then he grabs my loofah and body wash and proceeds to wash me. He massages my spine and shoulders, trying to ease the tension in my muscles.

I sink into his touch, enjoying how he works the knots out of my muscles. When he's done, I return the favor and wash him from head to toe. When we're finished, he turns the water off and grabs our towels. He wraps his around his waist and dries me off. I need to dry my hair because it will be a nest in the morning if I don't, but I don't feel like it.

"I'll braid it for you," he murmurs, reading my mind. I wrap the towel around me and stand in front of the mirror as he steps up behind me. Grabbing the hair brush he runs it through my hair a few times before plaiting it.

"How do you know how to do this?" My voice is barely above a whisper. I don't want to break the atmosphere we've created.

He glances at me through the mirror. "You taught me how." Disappointment settles in my stomach.

"I didn't know." I swallow and close my eyes, sighing deeply.

He kisses my exposed shoulder. "You will," he promises. I open my eyes and give him a soft smile. He's so sure I'll remember. I wish I felt as sure as he did. When he finishes, he wraps a hairband around the end of my braid. We brush our teeth, then he leads the way into our bedroom.

I grab a T-shirt out of his drawer and pull it on. I don't bother with panties as I crawl into bed. Phoenix is right beside me, not bothering to put any clothes on. He settles on his back and I climb onto him. My head tucks beneath his chin and he wraps his arm around my waist. He doesn't complain about how needy I'm being. I just want his arms around me and his body heat surrounding me.

I wonder how he'd feel about spooning and being inside me without actually having sex. Before I can ask, sleep pulls me under.

I step out of the candy store with a bag of banana runts, because they're the best and this is the only place I can get just that flavor. It's hot and humid. Some days, the humidity is so bad it feels like walking through a sauna or a really hot shower. Nix had to go into the office today, so I joined him. I love walking down River Street while he works.

Usually after he gets done, we'll go to the piano bar or his rooftop restaurant. I know River Street is touristy, but I love it. I love watching the people, the kids, and the families. Everyone seems so normal. So different from me. I'm married to a man that will probably never love me. Not really. Not like I love him.

I'll never admit that to him or anyone. He already has so much sway over my decisions and emotions I can't give him anymore leverage. I walk over to the waving girl statue and sit on a brick wall, watching the River Cruise ships and the people. I take a few pictures for people.

A couple walks up to me and smiles. "Can you take our picture?" The girl asks. I nod and grab her phone. I take several of them in front of the statue and also in front of the water.

"Are you celebrating something?" I ask as I hand her the phone back. They smile at each other, obviously basking in their love. My chest and stomach burn at the look they share.

"We're on our honeymoon. We're taking two weeks to travel the eastern states," the man replies.

I force a smile. "Congratulations."

The girl looks down at my hand, and I realize she's looking at my ring. "How long have you been married?"

"Three and a half years," I reply.

"Are you still in the honeymoon phase?" She looks positively giddy. I swallow past the lump in my throat and nod enthusiastically. We can't keep our hands off each other, so maybe we are still in the honeymoon phase even though we've never actually been on a honeymoon. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dr. Chamberland speaking to one of the security that constantly follows me around.

I sigh in relief, ready to leave this conversation. "I need to go. Have fun." I offer a slight wave they return as I head toward the doctor and Clyde. When they spot me, they both turn and offer me smiles. I wave as Clyde steps forward.

"Mr. Stone had an emergency and asked me to drive you home." My eyebrows cave in. That's odd. Usually Nix would call or text me. I grab my phone, but nothing. So, I send him a quick text. Maybe I'm being overly cautious, but after what happened all those years ago, I feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder for Nix's mother.

He still doesn't know it was her. He's still convinced it was my father. I still haven't relayed the message she told me to tell him all those years ago. For months after, I would try to get the courage to do it, but I never could. After a while, I finally stopped trying. Nix doesn't answer, which is unusual, so I nod at the men and follow Clyde to the car.

Dr. Chamberland says he has to go help Nix, so we say our goodbyes and I get in the SUV. I stare at my phone, waiting for a reply or something, but nothing comes. I want to call him, but I don't want to come off as desperate. When we get back to the house, I tell Clyde I'm going to walk down the lake.

"I'll let Phillip know we're back. Do you want some food?" he asks. I sigh, realizing I won't be eating with Nix today, so I agree. I walk down the hill toward the lake and stop at a bench I love. Sitting for a few minutes, I think back to the couple that was on their honeymoon. That's what I want. Love, not just lust. I want Phoenix to choose me over everything else.

Lead settles in my stomach. Maybe I'm asking for too much. Maybe I'm going to wind up just like my mother. In love with a man that won't love me the same way. I glance toward the water and stand. Whose boat is that? I've never seen that boat in my life. Before I can turn around and run back up the hill, an arm wraps around me and pulls me against a hard chest. Before I can scream, a hand slams over my mouth.

Nix's mother steps out from the trees. Fuck! She jerks her head and the man holding me against his chest walks down the hill. I don't make it easy for him, though. I jerk in his arms, trying to make him drop me, but his grip on me is strong. I finally get a good kick in and hit his shin. He almost drops me that time, but his hold stays true.

Nix's mother swirls around as she glowers at me. "If you don't come with me, I'll kill you, but first I'll kill Phoenix and I'll make you watch." I swallow and breathe heavily against the hand that's still on my mouth. The thought of the world being without Phoenix is not something I can fathom. I squeeze my eyes shut and stop fighting.

"I knew you loved him." I glare at her. I hate that she's right. I hate that I love him. But I do love him and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Come with me and nothing will happen to him." The man lifts his hand off my mouth when he senses the fight leaving me, but he still stands at my back, just in case I try to run.

"What did he ever do to you? He's been looking for you for years." I haven't seen her at an auction since the one where she took me. But I could feel her watching, lingering, and I still never told Nix. I'm such an idiot.

She smiles at me, it's menacing and I want to look away but I force myself to stay focused on her. "If I wanted to be found, he would have found me. Now, don't make me tell you again. Get in the boat." I exhale in defeat and climb into the boat, looking up at the house one last time. The house of my dreams that he allowed me to design. He wouldn't do that if he didn't love me, would he?

"Let's see if he'll come for you." She snorts like she doesn't believe he will.

I straighten my spine and narrow my eyes at her. "He will come for me. He always comes for me." She throws her head back and laughs, but I continue to glare at her. "When he finds out the evil bitch you are, he"s going to kill you."

She laughs harder. "He would never kill me. Never."

I arch an eyebrow at her and turn away. "You'll see." It's a whisper and a promise. One I hope is true.