Chapter 12

McKenzie

Ilook up from my book and watch Phoenix as he works. Since the memory I had a few days ago, he's been hovering. He hasn't gone to his office in the city, instead he's been working here. Today he's keeping me company in the library instead of working from his office across the hall. Maybe he's nervous after last time. That I'll leave again and this time not come back. But I made the decision when I came back that I wouldn't be leaving again. Ever.

The memory I had the other night showed me who was behind taking me the first and second time. It wasn't my father. Part of me is angry at Phoenix for this grudge he has against my father, but I understand. The one person he's wanted to please the most has manipulated him his whole life.

I've been contemplating these past few days on how to handle this new information. Do I tell him or not? I'm demanding honesty from him; I should do the same in return. Will he believe me? I have this sinking feeling it's going to be difficult for him to give up a lifetime of belief.

His eyes find mine over his laptop like he could feel my eyes on him. One side of his mouth tips up as I climb off the swing and walk toward him. I've missed his touch, his kiss, the feel of his skin beneath my hands. His eyes travel down my body, his gaze landing on the anklet I found the day I came back and haven't taken off since.

I'm wearing a light blue dress that stops right above my knees. I have a lot of dresses that are comfortable and make me feel beautiful and sexy. And the way Nix looks at me in them makes me want to wear them every day. I stop in front of him and he places his laptop on the end table next to the sofa.

"What are you working on?" I ask him. He leans back, spreading his legs wider so I can step closer. He leans his head back against the sofa pillows as he stares up at me. His tattooed hands clench against his thighs before he relaxes them.

"There's a fight this weekend. I was reading the stats of each fighter," he answers. My eyes widen in surprise. I forgot about the fights. He mentioned it months ago, but nothing since. I lean forward and place my knee between his legs on the sofa. His eyes drop to the cleavage on display, my lips, then back to my eyes.

I lick my lips as I inhale deeply. "Will you take me?" He smirks, his hands rubbing up and down his thighs, like he's trying not to reach out and touch me. I wish he'd give in.

"Yes."

He has respected the boundaries I've put up. But I want him. I want him to distract me. To remind me why we're so good together. I want him. I straddle him and his smirk turns into a full-blown grin. His hands rub up my thighs, to my hips, and grip my ass as he pulls me into him.

"I was wondering…" I trail off, losing some of the nerve I had. What if he turns me down? His grip on my ass tightens as he rocks me against him again. His hardness presses against me and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from moaning.

"You were wondering?" he prods.

I run my hands along his shoulders, his black T-shirt stretched tight along his chest and biceps. He's so sexy. "I was wondering, did you ever have fantasies of doing things in the library at Brighton?" I swallow. "With me?"

His muscles tighten beneath my hands and I swear I feel his cock twitch against me. He sits up, bringing his chest against mine, his hands rubbing up my back. One hand cups the back of my head and the other comes around to hold my throat loosely.

"I did."

My breathing increases as he confirms what I think I may have already known. "Tell me," I whisper, scared to break the spell.

His hand tightens slightly around my throat. "One fantasy was me crawling under one of the tables and making you come on my tongue as you read one of your books. Reminding you if you made one sound I wouldn't let you come." He arches an eyebrow as I rock against him. "We were in a library after all." I huff a laugh.

He licks his lips as his eyes fall to mine, but he still doesn't lean forward to kiss me. "Another fantasy was pulling you back into the stacks and fucking you against one of the bookshelves. Kissing you breathless to silence our moans as you came all over my cock."

I close my eyes and tilt my head back, imagining doing that with him. He could have done anything to me and I would have let him. Even now, I'd let him. He runs his hand through my hair, down my back, and back to my ass, pulling me against him again. This time he rocks into me and I swear I feel his piercing through his sweats and my panties.

He finally leans forward and kisses me just below my ear, the hand that was around my throat drifting down to cup my breast, his thumb circling my nipple. "You always thought the only interesting thing about you was your hair," he murmurs against my neck. I tilt my head, giving him better access as he sucks the skin between his lips and teeth.

"I love your hair, but I always felt like your beautiful brown eyes could see the depths of my soul. Your slender throat was made to be marked by me and me alone. Your long legs were meant to be wrapped around me as I thrust into you. Your strength and heart called out to my black heart and made it beat again."

I lean back and stare at him. His ice-blue eyes connect with mine and I see the truth there. Phoenix means every word. He's not the kind of man that says things he doesn't mean. He's never painted this picture of himself as the hero. No. He's the villain and I know without a shadow of a doubt he would tear this world apart to find me. The decision I've been playing with the past few days clicks into place.

I lean forward and take his mouth with mine. I need him more than the air I breathe. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and I moan. The sound breaks whatever leash he had on himself. His hands grip the back of my thighs and he lifts me, flipping me onto my back on the sofa and settling between my legs.

His lips trail down my neck to my cleavage. He runs his tongue along the seam of my dress. "I've missed you so fucking much," he murmurs against my skin, his finger hooking under the strap of my dress and pulling it down my arm. I'm on fire, but goosebumps break out along my skin. I open my mouth to tell him I missed him too, but he starts talking again before I can.

"I'm sorry." He leans up to stare down at me, pushing my hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry for how I acted when I first bought you. I'm sorry I forced you to marry me. I'm sorry for being a total asshole those first six months. I was trying my best to keep you at arm's length, thinking I was protecting you."

He leans down, kissing me again, his tongue sliding against mine. My legs are still wrapped around his waist. I leverage myself so I can rub against him. He groans into my mouth, breaking the kiss he breathes hard against my mouth as he rubs his covered cock against me. I clutch at his back, fisting his T-shirt, then push it up.

He leans back and yanks it over his head. I rub my hands along his heated skin, his muscles flexing beneath my hands. We stare at each other for a long moment, my mouth tips up into a small smile.

"We can protect each other from now on," I tell him. He returns my smile, his thumb trailing from my forehead, to my cheek, and to my ear, his hand cupping the side of my neck. I lean up and capture his bottom lip with my teeth, releasing it slowly. The blue of his eyes is barely visible, as desire shines brightly down at me. "Now, I know this isn't Brighton, but it is a library. So.." I lift one shoulder and smile at him.

I don't need to give him any further encouragement. He stands, pulling me with him, and walks to one of the bookshelves that has a ladder. He places me on the ladder and makes sure I'm steady before he drops to his knees. His hands snake under my dress and pulls my panties down my legs. I step out of them carefully so I don't fall off the ladder.

Nix wraps one of my legs over his shoulder and looks up to wink at me, then his head is beneath my dress. I grab it and hold it against me so I can watch him. My stomach quivers in anticipation as he looks at my pussy for a brief moment before closing his eyes and licking me.

My head falls back against one of the steps on the ladder as I get lost in the feeling of the swipes of his tongue. I grip his hair, moaning as he hitches my leg higher so he can thrust his tongue inside me. He stops immediately. My eyes pop open and I look down at him.

He gives me a wicked grin. "You have to be quiet, love. We're in a library." He brings his middle finger up and circles it around my clit. I bite my lip, trying to stop myself from crying out.

"I can't." The words come out in a groan as he slides his fingers through my folds.

"Then I'll have to stop."

I suck in a breath and glare down at him. He arches an eyebrow in response, waiting for me to agree. I nod once and he unleashes on me entirely. He sucks my clit into his mouth as two fingers enter me, crooking them just so. I see stars with how tight my eyes are closed. I clutch his hair and pull my lips between my teeth so I don't let any sound escape. My abdomen quivers from the onslaught.

Wanting to ride his face, I try to buck against him, but it's impossible in this position. He rakes his teeth over me and I slam my hand over my mouth as I come so hard he has to wrap his arm around my waist to stop me from crumbling to the floor.

He stands to his feet, not giving me time to recover as he quickly pushes his sweats down. I eye his cock, my eyes feasting on his piercing. Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I remember what it felt like in my mouth.

He chuckles as he wraps his hand around his cock and swipes the head against my pussy, giving me a chance to feel his piercing. "Later you're going to ride my face while you suck my cock, but right now I need to be inside you." Our eyes collide as he lines himself up with me and slowly sinks into me.

I wrap one leg around his waist and watch as his mouth drops open and his eyes become half hooded. "Fuck, you feel so good," he says as he bottoms out. He leans his forehead against mine as he rocks into me slowly. "I'll never get enough of you. Never," he whispers before he pulls almost all the way out of me, his cock teasing my entrance, and thrusts back into me.

I gasp, but have enough self control to stop myself from moaning. A growl rumbles in his chest, but he doesn't completely release it as he keeps a steady pace within me. My head falls forward into the crook of his neck as I meet each of his thrusts. His thrusts are hard and oh so good. He wraps his hands around the back of my thighs, lifting me so my ass is resting on the rung of the ladder.

I cling to him as he adjusts me just enough that he is rubbing against my g-spot with every thrust.

"Oh god," I whisper as I allow him to take over. His arms are shaking, the muscles in his neck and arms taut. I clutch at his shoulders as I eye what I consider my spot. My spot to mark him. Leaning forward, I latch onto the skin just below his ear.

He grunts. "Fuck, Kenz," he moans.

I release his skin slightly and nip at his earlobe. "Shush. We're in a library."

He chuckles as I take his skin between my lips again. I try to focus on marking him, but his thrusts are becoming more pronounced and I know I'm going to fall off the edge I'm on. His chest quivers against mine as he makes his thrusts more shallow, zeroing in on my spot. My nails rake down his back as he rocks into me over and over again, his piercing touching that bundle of nerves.

I clamp my mouth shut and push my face into his neck as I come. It's so good. He's the only person who will ever make me feel this way. After a few seconds, he begins to lift me up and down on his cock. He leans back slightly, watching as he pounds into me over and over again.

"So. Fucking. Hot." He enunciates each word with a thrust, then he's throwing his head back and coming inside me. Another growl rumbles through his chest, but other than that, he doesn't make a sound. He slowly releases my legs, making sure my feet are on the ground as he pulls back.

Immediately I feel empty and want him again, but my legs are shaking so badly, I'm not sure I could do it again. He tucks himself back in his sweats and places his arm under my legs and the other under my neck, cradling me as he walks back to the couch.

He sits and settles me in his lap. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I lay my head on his shoulder. He rubs lazy circles along my back as we both catch our breath.

"Nix?" I whisper. He hums in response. "Let's not keep things from each other anymore. I know I still have memories that will come back. Hopefully. But from this day forward, let's be honest with each other."

He pushes me back slightly to look at me. His eyes change to different shades of blue as he thinks it over. It's amazing to watch and know when he comes to a decision. He nods. "Okay."

I take a deep breath. "There's something I have to tell you."