Chapter 11

Phoenix

Iopen my eyes and wait for them to get used to the darkness, listening intently to my surroundings. Every muscle in my body is drawn tight as I try to figure out what woke me up. A screech erupts from Kenz, making me suck in a breath and roll over to see if she's hurt. Her knees and arms are bent with her hands in front of her face.

"Don't," she rasps.

My stomach hollows out at the tears streaming down her face. Cautiously, I place my hand in one of hers, flinching with how cold it is. I lower it slowly, then take my other hand and run it through her hair. She jerks her head away and tries to curl into herself. I inhale deeply and swallow.

"Kenz, wake up, love." I scoot closer to her, offering my body heat. She's shaking and I'm not sure if it's from the fear of her dream or how cold she is. She's kicked the blankets off, but since both my hands are occupied, I can't pull them over her. "Kenz," I say more firmly. Her eyes are moving behind her eyelids with whatever nightmare she's experiencing. Or maybe it's a memory.

She flinches as I shake her slightly, trying to get her to wake up. "Come on, love. Wake up." I'm desperate, but I keep my voice even. Her eyes blink open and she stops breathing. It's like she's trying to be invisible. "Kenz, it's me. You're safe." My voice is soft, barely above a whisper.

She blinks and sucks in a breath, slowly turning her head to look at me. Her lips tremble as she stares up at me. "You." Her voice cracks and she squeezes her eyes shut as tears continue to flow. My heart stutters remembering when I rescued her all those months ago, and she looked up at me with fear, whispering that same word.

Was she having a nightmare about that night? Was she remembering what happened to her in that hellhole?

That's the one thing I hope she never remembers. The one thing she'll never have to relive.

I run my thumb below her eye, wiping her tears. She's clutching my hand so tight it aches, but I'll let her break my hand if it brings her any semblance of comfort.

"You're not going to lick my tears?" she whispers.

I frown as a heaviness settles in my stomach, and my chest grows tight at her words. "Not tonight," I answer, wishing I could go back and change everything about those first few months. I want to pull her into my arms and offer her comfort, but I hesitate, not sure if she would accept it right now. I run my fingers through her hair and she doesn't flinch, so I pull her more firmly against me, trying to offer her as much body heat as possible. Removing my fingers from her hair, I reach down and pull the blanket over her. She grabs it and pulls it up to her chin, her lips trembling slightly. Her eyes wander, taking in the room, making sure she's really in bed with me. She takes a deep breath and rolls over onto her side facing me. I resume running my fingers through her hair as we stare at each other.

"Did you have a bad dream? Or was it a memory?" I ask. Her hand snakes out from under the blanket and she grips my forearm, her fingers still as cold as ice.

"They kept me in panties and a tank top all the time." Her voice cracks. I force my face to remain neutral and I don't speak because if I do, I might lose it. "I was always freezing. They'd remember I was there every week or so and take me outside, hose me down, and chain me back up."

I grit my teeth so hard I'm sure they'll break as I begin to plan the torture of whoever these people are. I will draw out their death for so long they'll be begging me to end it. She closes her eyes again and shakes her head.

"Why did I have to remember that?" Her voice is so low I have to piece together what she said.

I push her hair behind her ear. "I don't know, love. If I could take it all away, I would."

Her mouth tips up into a sad smile. "I know you would. That's why I love you." Her eyes close for a few seconds.

"I love you too," I reply, thankful she still feels that way about me after the past two months. She runs her hand from my shoulder, down my bicep, to my forearm, leaving goosebumps along the way. She opens her eyes slowly, like she's having a hard time keeping them open, her breathing already growing heavy.

"You always make me feel safe," she murmurs.

I lean forward and kiss her on the forehead. "Go back to sleep, love. I'll keep the nightmares away." I pull her close to me, wrapping my arms around her. Her breathing evens out as she drifts off.

"You always come for me," she whispers against my chest as she settles deeper into my embrace, finally falling back to sleep.

"And I will always find you, love," I whisper against her hair. Remembering my promise to her all those years ago when I found her the first time.

"You and McKenzie will be expected to come earlier in the day to see everything," Gil says. I take a deep breath, keeping my irritation at bay. I wonder if Kenz knows the next auction is coming up. It's still a couple of weeks out, but preparations are already being made. "I know this probably isn't the best time for you, but we have to keep up appearances, and you're next on the roster."

"We'll be there," I respond. Almost every council member that was there when I first started attending auctions all those years ago is out. I've slowly pushed them out. There are a few left, including Gil. I knew when I first met him he was different. I found out he joined because his wife's sister had been sold against her will. Unfortunately, they weren't able to rescue her. But they have bought several girls throughout the years to help them get out of an impossible situation.

He supports my idea of having the auction being something that's voluntary. Those who want to auction themselves off can fill out an application and put in their wants for a buyer. They can choose what kind of relationship they have with the person they buy. Whether it's sexual, dating only, or friendship. The choice is theirs.

Having the first daughter sold as some ritual to become a council member is barbaric. Unless she wants to be sold. My first goal was to remove Marcus from the council. I was able to do that within the first year after I bought Kenz. He still comes to auctions, but he doesn't have any power to make decisions. My second goal was removing the senator that bought Anna.

It proved difficult when he did become the vice president, but he had a heart attack and died while he was in office. Sometimes I wonder if Rex somehow found a way to cause that. He was on a long vacation when it happened. I know he was going to look for Anna because he found out who bought her. He didn't find her, but the man wound up dead. Not too long after that, his wife was in a fatal car accident. I haven't asked any questions and Rex hasn't offered any details.

Gil gives me some more details that I barely listen to as I think back to last night. I barely slept after Kenz woke up with that nightmare. I watched her sleep the rest of the night, making sure she was safe. Even in her dreams.

"There's been some murmuring about not having masks anymore," Gil says, bringing my attention back to the conversation.

"By who?" I ask. When I first started attending auctions, I wasn't fond of the masks, but now I like the anonymity of it. It adds to the fun Kenz and I have during the auction. It's like our own brand of foreplay.

"No one in particular, but apparently it's been talked about a few times and some have overheard."

I hum. "We can discuss it in our next council meeting." He agrees and we hang up.

Standing, I leave my office and walk to the library. I decided to work from home today so I can keep an eye on McKenzie after the memory she had last night. I reminded her at lunch that it would be a good idea to schedule an appointment with Dr. Pearl. They didn't get a chance to meet before she left.

She didn't disagree, but she didn't agree either. She was quiet and withdrawn. Understandably. Pushing the door open, my gaze immediately goes to her swing, but she's not there. Walking deeper into the library, I stop at the end of a bookshelf in the middle of the room and lean against it as I watch her.

She's sitting at the window seat, her knees pulled up to her chest and her forehead resting against the window. A book lays open at her feet. She takes a deep breath and leans back slightly to stare down at her book.

"Kenz?" I call out to her, trying not to startle her. She turns slightly and looks at me over her shoulder. "You hungry? I was going to eat lunch."

She nods and stands, walking to me. She doesn't speak, just looks up at me, waiting for me to lead the way. I keep my face a neutral mask even though I'm worried about her. She's acting like she did when I got her back. Well, not exactly like that. At least this time she's not flinching when I try to touch her.

I wrap my arm around her shoulders as we walk to the kitchen. Phillip is there plating the food he made for us. He gives us both a smile in greeting, his eyes crinkling slightly as he studies McKenzie. He looks at me, then back to her before turning back around.

Normally McKenzie greets Phillip and Clara. She loves them both, but today she hasn't spoken much. Anna walks into the kitchen with a plate. It looks like she's already eaten. Over the past several months, I've noticed Anna prefers to be alone. She's a lot different from the Anna I knew in high school.

Dr. Chamberland and Dr. Pearl both said that's normal after the trauma she experienced. But it's been a while, and I was hoping she'd feel more comfortable around us. The only people she's comfortable with are Rex and Kenz. She's polite to Phillip and Clara, but they haven't formed friendships like Kenz has with them.

Once she was fully recovered, she also asked if she could stop seeing Dr. Chamberland. I didn't question it even though I wanted to ask her why, because she still sees Dr. Pearl occasionally.

"Kenz?" Anna says. Kenz looks up and smiles slightly at Anna, but the smile doesn't reach her eyes. Anna crosses the kitchen and stops in front of Kenz as I go to the island and sit down. I watch them to see if maybe Kenz will brighten up slightly, but she doesn't. "Are you okay?" Anna asks.

Kenz blinks her eyes rapidly and I can tell from the glossy look in them she's trying her best not to cry. I wonder if it's because she remembered all those years ago when I licked her tears away and told her if I lick it, it's mine. She rarely cried in front of me for that reason, and I hated myself every day because of it.

McKenzie nods and does her best to give a decent smile, but anyone who knows her can tell it's fake.

"You're not okay," Anna says.

"I don't want to talk about it," McKenzie finally says.

Anna stares at her a moment longer before nodding. "I'm here if you need me." She hugs her quickly like she knows if she holds on for too long, it will be the straw that breaks Kenz.

Kenz doesn't reply as Anna turns and walks back to the hallway that leads to her room. She sits next to me and rubs her hands down her thighs as she waits for her food. Phillip places plates in front of us with turkey club sandwiches and some sweet potato fries, then leaves the kitchen. I take a bite from my sandwich and chew, thinking about what I can say or do to help bring Kenz out of this fog she's in.

"I think I owe you an answer to a question," I say as she picks at her sandwich. She scowls slightly and doesn't respond. I lean toward her and push her hair behind her ear. She turns slightly to look at me. There are storm clouds in her eyes.

"I don't have any questions today," she murmurs before turning back to her plate.

"I fucked up last night," I admit.

She huffs as she puts a fry in her mouth. "I didn't realize you could admit such a thing."

"Kenz—"

"Drop it. Please."

I stare at her profile for several seconds before exhaling deeply and picking up my sandwich. I'll drop it for now, but once I give her a few days to process whatever memory she had. Then I'm getting answers.