Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

T he rest of the weekend was fairly quiet and routine. I haven’t seen Ezra since, and to be honest, I’ve been avoiding him on purpose. I didn’t want my husband pick up on anything when I told Ezra we were done.

I’m scared to admit that I’m avoiding the conversation because I’m worried it will turn out badly. Not because I think Ezra might freak out like Thomas would. No. He’s not that type of guy. I don’t think Ezra would do that. But I’m still avoiding it. I haven’t changed my mind because I will stay with my husband and work on our marriage.

Thomas wanted me to take a few more days off to recover from all the stress of the last few days. I would have preferred to work simply because it would give me something to do, but at least this way, I can finally put my tools in my new shed and care for my beloved garden. I have, therefore, canceled the gardener for the week so I can do it myself.

After hours of tidying up, I finally finish organizing the shed and stand back, satisfied with my work. Now I can take a quick shower before preparing dinner, ensuring it's ready on time.

I’m about to leave the garden shed when I freeze in my tracks. Ezra is leaning in the doorway, blocking my exit. I didn’t hear him approach and have no idea how long he’s been standing there.

“You seem to be getting along with your husband again,” he says. So you were there after all…

It’s good to know I wasn’t imagining him. That means my decision to stay with my husband is right. Ezra and I have no future—what would that even look like? Living together next door to my ex-husband? No! Ex-husband…? That can only end in disaster. So I’ll pull the ripcord before I do something I can’t undo.

I haven’t wholly cheated on my husband yet, and the two little slip-ups where Ezra satisfied me… I try to remember that Thomas isn’t innocent, either. That makes it easier for me to forgive myself somehow and keep my guilty conscience in check.

“Ezra… listen…” I begin with a sigh and step a little closer to him.

“I didn’t like what I saw, Beauty,” he interrupts me in a dark voice. Excuse me?

“He’s my husband, Ezra! I will not talk to you about when and how I have sex with him,” I counter forcefully.

His eyebrow twitches upward dangerously, but there’s no threat from him. I’m not afraid Ezra will blow up like a rocket, as is often the case with my husband. But he can’t talk to me like that. Especially not here!

This conversation absolutely must stay between us. I have no desire to become the laughingstock of our neighborhood because I made a pass at the young single guy. Because that’s exactly how everyone would interpret it, dragging me and my marriage through the mud. Again…

But he doesn’t let me get any further because as soon as I’ve said the words, he shakes his head decisively, enters the shed completely, and closes the door behind him. He plunges us into semi-darkness so that only the dim light shines through the frosted glass and forces me further backward.

“No. I don’t want to hear this. You… can’t end this with us, Beauty. It didn’t even really start… you’re not happy with him,” he interjects, not listening to what I say.

“Ezra… I’m married and over ten years older than you. This thing with us… it’s going nowhere. Besides, I love my husband,” I try to reason with him and look at him insistently.

A contemptuous snort leaves his full lips, which I know I will miss, even though I shouldn’t. Damn it, don’t make it so difficult for me!

Still, I shake my head again and hold my hand between us so he understands I’m serious.

“You’re telling me you’ll be happy with him? Are happy with him? That’s bullshit, and you know it! I’ve already had to stop you from doing something stupid several times so you wouldn’t hurt yourself, and you think that was because you’re oh so happy?” He is almost shouting now.

I can’t believe what he’s saying, and I stare at him in shock until anger takes over. It’s not fair that he’s here doing this.

“This isn’t serious for you. You only want me as another notch on your bedpost. And I’m not even your type, as I’ve seen so well over the last few weeks,” I hiss back, angrily putting my hands on my hips as I glare at him admonishingly.

His jaw tightens before he turns his face away from me, knowing I’m right. But after a moment, he shakes his head weakly before his gaze finds me again.

“You have no idea… All those women meant nothing to me. I can’t even remember their names because I’ve only seen and tasted you. Heard you. It was only you I fucked in my imagination instead of those women… You have no idea how much I want you and how much I don’t fucking care about any other woman in this world… But you don’t want me. You want to stay with your abusive husband who isn’t the least bit interested in you and who doesn’t fulfill your needs—doesn’t even notice them. I wish you all the best, Mrs. Shepherd,” the last words come out in a rasp before he gives me another respectful nod.

I don’t even get a chance to say anything; he disappears as quickly as he arrives. I don’t know what to say or how to feel now. It’s as if everything is running past me like a black-and-white movie, and I’m stuck in the middle of it as a viewer, unable to intervene, only watching as the heroes in this movie face their enemies.

Shouldn’t I be feeling better now? Relieved? I expected to feel different, but instead, I feel completely confused and strangely… lonely. I try to convince myself it’s for the best. Anything else would have ended in disaster, and I’m not prepared to unleash chaos on my family.

I will forget you, Ezra King, because it’s better this way…