41. Ella

CHAPTER 41

ELLA

"Deep breaths, Ella. You are a strong, hot, amazing woman and you can do this," I say to myself in the mirror. Logan will be here any minute to pick me up for our date. I'm hiding in Millie's bathroom giving myself a pep talk because deep down, I'm freaking the fuck out.

"You good in there, babe?" Millie asks as she knocks on the door. I take one more deep breath, nod at my reflection in solidarity, and open the door.

"Yep, I'm good." I plaster on my best and most confident smile.

"Yeah… so then why do you look like you're about to eat me?" She eyes me suspiciously.

I tip my head back and laugh, there's no fooling her. "Just some pre-date nerves. I'm fine. You've definitely vetted this guy, right? We're not about to have a repeat of Old Mate Douchebag?"

Millie cringes."I vetted him, trust me. I wouldn't be letting you go out with him if I even suspected it would end like that other one did."

"Good. I wish I knew where we were going."

"He still hasn't told you?"

"Nope. Wants it to be a surprise. Wherever it is, it sounds pretty cool."

"I think it's cute that he wants to surprise you. He wants to impress!" Millie bounces a little on her toes. She's just as nervous as me, I think.

There's a knock on the door and both our eyes widen in excitement and nerves. Millie squeals a little bit and I grab her for a quick hug. I bend down to her little baby bump and give it a gentle pat.

"Wish Auntie Ell good luck, she needs it!"

Millie laughs and bats me away.

"Get out of here, you. Have fun and text me later. If you're comfortable enough having him drop you off at home, let me know, otherwise he can drop you back here. Love you!"

"Love you, too. See you later!"

I rush to the front door and grab my bag on the way. I steady myself, put on my best but more subtle smile and open the door.

"Hey, Logan."

He's tall and blond. Clean shaven. Muscular, but not over the top. He's exactly my type. Or, what my type used to be… before Xavier.

"Hey, Ella. You look nice. Ready to go?"

"Yep! Lead the way." He gestures towards the road where his car is parked, and I follow him out.

It's a reasonably quiet drive filled with simple conversation about how each other's week has been. He works in marketing, so I don't really know much about what he's talking about, but I try to seem interested and ask questions when needed. I don't really pay attention to our surroundings as he pulls us into a car park.

"So, I hope you like this place! Apparently it's been around for a while, but it's under new management, and everyone's talking about it."

My stomach bottoms out and I'm instantly nauseous as I look out of the window of the car and see that we have pulled up out the front of Jimmies.

"Oh, shit," I whisper, quietly enough he doesn't hear me.

"Have you been here before?" he asks.

"Um. Yeah, a few times." I sucked off the owner in his office . "But not since the management changed."

Shit, shit, shit. I can't be here . What if Xavier's working? I can't see him for the first time in three months on a goddamn date!

"Oh, cool," Logan says. "You're in for a treat. Their whole vibe has changed in the last few months. It's awesome. "

He unbuckles his seatbelt and goes to open his door, but I am frozen in my seat.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah. Yep, all good." I shake myself out of it and swallow my anxiety. I can't get out of this without explaining to Logan why I don't want to be here, and I really don't feel like explaining to him that the new owner is the metropolitan lumberjack that I may or may not still be in love with.

I undo my seatbelt and get out of the car on shaking legs. Maybe he's not working tonight. Now that he's in charge, he shouldn't be working nights anymore. I cross my fingers and toes that he has already gone for the day.

Logan leads the way and I pretend I have no idea where I'm going. I feel like I'm going to be sick, but I swallow it down because this guy really does deserve a chance. I'm going to try and not ruin it by acting like a nervous wreck.

The changes to the bar are subtle, but they have definitely made a difference. Some of the older furniture has been replaced with some modern pieces. Gone are the old wooden tables and chairs, and the colour scheme has changed from an old-timey pub to a modern, industrial looking bar. The music that was playing has gone from classic ‘80s hits to acoustic renditions of current popular songs. The bar is well stocked with craft beers and gins and the glassware has been updated. It still has touches of the same Jimmies charm I've always loved, just with Xavier's modern take on it. I love it. The place is packed with a younger crowd, and I feel so proud of the work Xav has put in. His dream is coming true.

We approach the bar and Lena is there. I'm nervous to see her again but there's literally nothing I can do about it. She smiles at us and does a double take when she sees me.

"Ella! Hey! It's been a while. How are you?" she asks. Looking just as gorgeous as always.

"Hey, Lena. I'm good. The place looks great!" I gesture to the space.

"It does, doesn't it? He's done so well." We both know who she's referring to, and all I can do is offer a smile and nod. It's then she looks at Logan who is practically drooling at the sight of Lena and I refrain from rolling my eyes. I mean I get it, but he could be a bit more subtle.

"And who is this?" she asks, giving me a side eye. I swallow a lump in my throat.

"This is… um… Logan.."

"I'm Logan. You are?" Logan says it at the same time as me and thrusts his hand towards Lena for a handshake. This time I do roll my eyes. This guy is on a date with me for crying out loud. Not going great so far.

"I'm Lena. Friend of Ella." Lena looks pointedly at him and gives his hand a limp shake before brushing him off and facing me once again.

"So, are you two on a date or something?" she asks. I swallow again.

"Yeah, we are. First date." I say, avoiding her eyes.

She hums under her breath before returning her attention to Logan.

"Well Logan, what can I get for you? I already know what she likes." She nods in my direction.

He orders a pint of some craft beer I've never heard of, and I take the moment to scan the room.

"Looking for someone?" she asks with a knowing smirk.

"Nope. Just taking in the… ambience." She shakes her head as she pours Logan's beer from the tap and then moves onto making my amaretto sour. I'm a little shocked that she remembers my favourite cocktail, but I guess it is her job.

Logan pays for our drinks which was nice. I must thank Lena for making me a cocktail which ended up costing him a little bit more, especially when I was just going to order a cheap glass of wine. We're about to head out into the beer garden to grab a table when I see him.

He's walking out of the corridor that leads to his office, laptop bag on his shoulder, and he's heading straight for the bar. I'm frozen on the spot, and I can't look away from him. He's on his phone, probably reading an email or something, and he walks straight past me without noticing. I turn to watch him, and he goes behind the bar to speak to Lena.

"Hey, Lena. I'm off for the night. Have a good weekend— oomph . Ow. What was that for?" I look at Lena and she is clearly elbowing him in the ribs to get off his phone. I should turn and run, but my feet have decided now is a good time to just stop working completely and I'm stuck there, watching.

Lena is pointing her head in my direction in a not-so-subtle way and muttering something under her breath.

"What, Lena? I can't hear you. He looks around to the direction she's pointing her head towards, and he scans the area, scanning over me once and doing not a double take, but a triple take when he sees me.

"Oh." He mouths.

"Yep," Lena confirms.

We both stare at each other for a long while before I'm shaken out of my stupor by Logan. He gently places his hand on the middle of my back and starts to guide me towards the beer garden. I think he's saying something, but I can't hear anything over the roaring in my ears. I finally break eye contact with Xavier, who seems just as shocked as I am, and turn to Logan who's looking at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" I ask.

"Yeah, I asked if you were okay. You look like you've seen a ghost," he says into my ear, a little closer than necessary, but I'll put that down to it being loud in here.

I look back at Xavier and his eyes are darting between me, Logan, and Logan's hand on my back. Even from here, I can see his jaw tick.

"No, not a ghost, just thought I saw someone I used to know."

"Oh, okay. Are you good to still go outside?" he asks, and I nod. I force myself to turn away from Xavier once again and this time I don't look behind me as I walk outside with Logan and find a table. By pure fucking coincidence, it's the same table I sat at on my date with Jed, the night I met Xavier. The universe is a prankster.

We start talking about the usual stuff you talk about on a first date, career, family, hobbies, travel. I want to give this my full attention, but I can't, knowing that Xavier could still be inside, watching me on a date. My ears perked up when Logan asked me if I read.

"Yeah, I love to read. I mean, I'm a librarian, so it would be weird if I didn't." He laughs at that. "Do you read?" I ask.

"Yeah, I do every now and then."

"Oh cool. What sort of books do you like to read?"

"Non-fiction mostly. I'm really into those self-help type books at the moment. I've been working on myself a bit and they've really opened my eyes to a lot of things."

I stifle the urge to groan.

"Do you have a favourite book or author?" Please say something half decent or I may just walk out on this date.

"Umm, let me think. Oh yeah, I can't remember the title but there was this one by some famous guy, his name starts with a J… Jordan someone?"

I know exactly who he is talking about, and I now have a major red flag.

"What about you?" he continues. "What do you like to read?"

"Fantasy and romance, mostly."

He laughs. This man actually tips his head back and laughs.

"Aw, that's cute. Is it like fairies and stuff? With little magic spells?"

"Um. Sort of. Not like a Tinkerbell type fairy."

"Uh huh. Sure," he says patronisingly. "And romance novels, do you read them often?"

"Fairly often, I switch between those two genres quite consistently." He ponders this for a moment. "Why?" I ask.

"Well, I just don't know how comfortable I would feel about the woman I'm dating frequently reading romance novels."

I don't think my jaw could have dropped open any further. What the fuck?

"And why wouldn't you be comfortable with that?"

"It gives women unrealistic standards of what to expect in a relationship," he says nonchalantly.

I stare at this guy in disbelief. I had heard that these sorts of guys existed out there, but this is my first time experiencing one in the wild. I have the biggest ick to have ever icked right now. I think of Xavier, and how he read my favourite books and was always asking me for recommendations. We even tried some of the moves he read about in bed!

I'm done, I can't keep going. I need to get out of this date. Like, now.

"Right. Hey, I just have to go to the toilet, are you good to wait here?" I ask, standing up from the table with my bag.

"Sure thing." He leans back in his chair as I walk away from the table. I notice his eyes drift towards the bar, and I bet my left kidney that he will try and sneak over to chat to Lena while I'm gone.

I escape into the bathroom and call Millie. She answers almost immediately.

"Uh oh. Not even an hour in and you're calling me. This can't be good," she says.

"Oooft. So bad, Millie. Firstly, he's brought me to fucking Jimmies of all places."

"NO."

"Yes. And secondly, he just told me he wouldn't want his girlfriend reading romance novels because it would give her unrealistic expectations in a relationship!" I'm whisper-screaming at this point.

"Put him in the bin!" Yells a drunk voice from one of the cubicles. I love women.

"I agree with drunk girl," says Millie. "He's trash. I'm sorry Ell, I really thought this guy would be better."

"It's fine, you didn't know." I sigh. "I just have to get out of here, like ASAP."

"Okay, get an Uber to our place and we can debrief over a Milo."

"Perfect. I'll message you when I'm on my way."

"Be safe! Oh, and Ell…"

"Yeah?"

"Was he there?"

"Yeah." I breathe.

"Shit. Was it weird?"

"Yep. I froze, he froze. We couldn't stop staring at each other. I think I went deaf at one point."

"Whoa."

"Yeah."

"Okay, hurry up and get home to me so we can debrief properly. I may just have a Milo while I wait for you as well."

I laugh. "Okay, see you soon."

I hang up the phone and open up the Uber app, I'm so focused on the screen that I walk straight into someone. Strong hands grab me and steady me, hands that I know all too well. I look up, and there he is.