17. Kaia

“Good morning!” Natalie sings as she knocks once and then enters the room with a flourish. “Sorry to barge in,” she says with a smile. “But I wanted to have some time together before Thoren steals you away for the day.”

I cover myself quickly with the sheet. I had been expecting Thoren, and I had maybe been posing in a way that would tempt him to come back to bed. If Natalie got an eyeful, she sure isn’t acting fazed.

She lays some clothes down on a chair and then places a brush and some other things on the small table with a mirror. I could cry at the idea of being able to properly brush my hair for the first time in over a week. Thoren only has a crude version of a comb, with wide teeth that aren’t able to fully detangle or smooth my wild strands down in the mornings.

“I figured you’d like the idea of having a little girly moment,” she says, smiling at me as I eye the things she brought. “Can’t believe he has you dressing like that. You have curves, and you should show them off.”

I just stare at her, not entirely sure what I should do.

“Thank you,” I finally manage, remembering my manners.

She laughs, and it’s sweet and pretty. Her smile makes her honey-colored eyes pop, and I find myself, for the first time I can ever remember, not being jealous of another woman’s beauty. Maybe it’s because Thoren fucked me so hard last night that I momentarily forgot my name. Maybe it’s because he looks at me like I’m the only woman in the world.

Or maybe it’s just because I finally realize that a beautiful woman isn’t a threat.

“Wrap yourself up and come over here,” she says, gesturing to the chair in front of the mirror. “I’m going to brush and braid your hair, and then we’re going to put you in one of my dresses.”

A smile breaks out on my face, and I gather the sheet around my body as I crawl out of bed and walk the short distance to where she’s standing. I haven’t had my hair played with in ages. I used to get my hair done all the time before I got out of college and realized that was far down on the list of bills I was able to pay.

“So,” she says as she begins to slowly brush through the tangles and knots that have formed overnight — and also possibly from the wild sex. “I see you got good use of the salve I gave you.”

She bites back a grin as I meet her eyes in the mirror. My cheeks visibly blush as I remember how loud I was last night. “Sorry about that,” I murmur, wishing I could crawl back into bed and hide the shame. If she heard us, that means the entire fucking inn heard us. Great.

“Please, like you’re the loudest, weirdest, or worst thing I’ve heard over the years in this inn? No way.” She shakes her head and laughs. “No one would ever fault you for giving in to that mating bond. It’s a strong magic.”

“I’m starting to realize that.” I twist the linen between my fingers. “My chest aches, even now,” I tell her. “And he’s just downstairs. It’s taken everything in my power to not race down and find him. Like, I’m thinking about it now, and my heart is racing. It’s almost hard to breathe. It feels like a panic attack.”

“That will fade a little with time,” she tells me. “Erik and I have been together many years, and while it has faded, and we can be apart for a few days at a time, it can still be painful if we push it too far.”

“If I stay,” I whisper as her fingers begin to deftly section and braid pieces of my hair. Still tired from the sex marathon, I have to fight to keep my eyes open as my scalp tingles from her nails.

“If you stay,” she agrees. She clears her throat as she ties off the first braid. “Forgive me for asking because I know this is not my place. But I can’t help but wonder if you’ve thought about staying?”

Another section, another braid. She’s pulling them around my head like a halo, pinning them to keep them in place. Pieces are carefully selected to pull out and frame my face. I take a deep breath before answering, steeling myself for her reaction.

“I have,” I answer honestly. “But I don’t know what that looks like. Do I just abandon everything back home? My life and my home? I just leave my family to guess what happened to me?”

“Are you close with your family?” she asks, her eyes briefly meeting mine before going back to what she’s doing with her hands.

“No,” I admit. “But they’ll still notice I’m missing eventually. Doesn’t that matter?”

She shrugs and bites her lip, thinking about what she wants to say next. I’m worried that everything we talk about will get back to Thoren, and I don’t want that. I don’t want anything I say to her to be misconstrued.

“If I’m being honest,” I continue before she can jump in. “My life wasn’t great. I wanted to be a teacher, but there weren’t any jobs. So I became a teacher’s aide, which is basically just a person who grades papers or runs errands throughout the school. It wasn’t what I wanted. I also wasn’t close with my family and had no friends to speak of. I get that it wasn’t the life I dreamed of for myself, but it was mine . And it feels strange to give it all up so willingly. And for a gargoyle of all things!”

I slap my hand over my mouth, realizing that I’ve probably just insulted the hell out of her. She isn’t a gargoyle, but she’s mated to one. And she isn’t human either; she’s a witch with actual magical powers.

But before I can apologize, she laughs and pins the last of my hair against my scalp. “You humans are so strange. First, you tell me that you are not happy with your life. You have no friends and no family to speak of. And then you tell me you have the love of a good man, a strong and capable man, who will love you and take care of you for the rest of your life.”

Her hands rest on my shoulders as she looks me squarely in the eyes in the mirror. Her touch is warm and comforting but firm.

“Why would you want to trade this for that?”

I can tell it’s a genuine question, that she doesn’t understand where I’m coming from. It’s different when you’re the one who’s been ripped from your home and thrown into a brand-new world completely unlike the one you came from. Everything is foreign, and I’m scared that if I choose this one, everything will go wrong. I swallow the pain in my throat, and I can feel the unshed tears just waiting to fall.

“Nat,” I say, turning in my seat so that I can look at her face to face. “What if he decides he doesn’t want me one day?” A few tears fall, and I swipe at them quickly. “Where will I be then? Where will I go? Who will take care of me? I don’t know anyone here that isn’t his family, Natalie.”

And my mind races back to the response he had when I asked to see the ring he made for his mate all those years ago. He didn’t want me to see it. And that worries me. If he was truly ready to accept me as his mate, wouldn’t he have wanted to show me that? Shouldn’t he have wanted me to have it?

“Sweet girl,” she coos, squatting down and taking my hands in hers. “The moment you became his mate, you became our family, too. And while I can assure you that he will never change his mind about you, I can give you the comfort of knowing none of us would ever turn you out. You would have a home with us. You would have a home with Selah. Hells, you would even have a home with the rest of the crazies you haven’t met yet.”

She chuckles softly, using her thumb to wipe away the tears that are continuing to fall. The touch is motherly, and I suddenly wonder just how old Natalie is. She doesn’t look older than thirty, just like Thoren doesn’t look a day over forty.

“How old are you?” I blurt before my mouth can catch up with my brain.

“I just celebrated my seventy-sixth birthday this past spring.” She stands and walks over to where she’s placed the few dresses she brought with her. “What about you?”

I’m still trying to process that this beautiful woman in my room is seventy-fucking-six years old. Shit, I wish humans aged like that. I’ll be old and wrinkly by the time I hit that age. Does that mean Thoren won’t age with me? That I’ll just be this aging, wrinkly mate that he has to spend his days taking care of? That doesn’t seem fair.

Now I understand why Bella was so obsessed with Edward turning her into a vampire. Could Thoren do something like that for me? If I decided to stay, could someone do something that would halt my aging process so that I could be with Thoren for the length of his life span?

“Um, twenty-eight.” I stumble around the words, struggling to stay in the moment and out of my thoughts.

“So young!” She lays the dresses out on the bed. “Which one do you prefer?”

I stand, holding the sheet tightly around my breasts and off the floor so that I don’t trip. Each dress is lovely, and they all look warm and comfortable. But one catches my eye. The smock of the dress is a cream color, with loose sleeves that will keep me warm. There’s detailing around the bust that must’ve been done by hand, and the kirtle, which I’ve recently learned the term for, is a dark forest green with laces in the front to hold it together.

“This one.” I reach out and run my fingers over the smooth fabric, and a thrill shoots through me. I wonder if Thoren will think I’m pretty. He hasn’t seen me in something so girly and nice yet.

“Perfect.” She claps her hands and eagerly looks at me. “Drop the sheet. Let’s get you dressed.”