16. Thoren

Waking up with the warm autumn light streaming through the window and my mate in my arms, I feel like I’m in a dream. This cannot be my life. I never thought I would get something so magical. And as I gaze down at her, her yellow hair thrown around her pillow and soft lips partially parted, I realize I am in love.

The bond between us was strong in the beginning, but now that we have been intimate, it’s as if she is part of my very soul. I can feel her contentedness as she sleeps, her slow, measured breathing and toes twitching under the blankets. I roll onto my side and pull her into me. She breathes deep and wraps her arms around my neck. She smells a little of that rosemary soap and a whole lot of me.

It’s all-consuming.

My little human mate, so fragile with her small frame and soft skin.

“I’m so tired,” she groans into my neck.

“Stay,” I tell her, kissing the top of her head. “I will go get you some coffee from the kitchens.”

“But aren’t you comfy?” One of her legs slides over my hips and tugs me even closer. My cock stiffens in between our bodies, and she lets out the cutest giggle. “Seems like you’re very comfy.”

“Too comfortable,” I tell her, letting one of my hands drift down her back to grab a handful of ass. I love her body. “If I stay, we will never leave this bed. And we have things to do today.”

She looks up at me, her dark eyes shining in the warm rays that slant across her face. “We could always go see this person another day.” She looks nervous as she speaks, like I would be offended that she would offer. Or maybe she’s just scared to admit she doesn’t mind waiting another day to find her answers.

The thought thrills me, but my heart is still guarded. I don’t know if this is truly her speaking or if the bond now that we’ve slept together has strengthened so much that it’s clouded her judgment. I want it to be the former; I want her to want to stay. But I don’t know how to trust what she’s saying.

“We could,” I concede.

“But you don’t want to.” Her cheeks redden, and she ducks her head back against my shoulder. “That was stupid of me to say. Ignore me.”

“Not stupid,” I tell her, taking her chin between my finger and thumb, tugging her face back up to meet mine. I kiss her softly, letting her see just how much I wish we could stay in this bed for the rest of our lives. “But I have some things planned for you today, other than going to see Feryn. Fun things.” I kiss her nose. “Let me spoil you for a day.”

Her smile returns, warm and loving. “Okay,” she whispers against my mouth before kissing me hard, opening her lips to let me taste her. “I will yield.”

“I will return shortly,” I tell her as I try to untangle myself from her limbs. My cock aches and weeps to be inside of her once again, but I know we need to do this. She needs her answers, and I need to know that if she chooses to stay with me, it is her choice, not the bond forcing her into it.

I look back at her as she stretches and moves underneath the blankets. Her body is outlined perfectly, her voluptuous hips and breasts tempting me all over again. She rolls over onto her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows and letting her hair fall over one shoulder. She teases the ends of it while watching me get dressed.

“Hurry back,” she sings as I open the heavy wooden door. “I’ll be waiting.” I give her one last glance, answering her smile with my own, and then make my way down to the kitchens.

It’s been a while since I’ve stayed here with Erik and Nat, but not much has changed about the place. They have a cook now who comes in for lunch and dinner, serving guests and anyone else in town who needs a hot meal. But the mornings are quiet. People are slow to wake up, and only coffee, tea, and pastries are offered to the guests.

And it’s early, so I’m surprised when I see Erik in the kitchen, adding the coffee grounds to the filter. He grabs hot water from the fire and pours it slowly, the smell instantly filling the room. When he sees me, he smiles. And I immediately know that he knows. And that’s probably why he’s up so early. He didn’t want to miss the chance at seeing me.

“Good night?” he asks, his eyebrow raised and his smile cheeky.

“You know it was,” I grumble, rubbing at the sore spot in my chest from being away from her and searching the cupboards for a couple of mugs.

He laughs, the sound filling the room and reminding me of how he was as a child, always into something and causing havoc. “I’m sure everyone knows it was.”

“Yes, yes. I agree it wasn’t the best timing in the world,” I tell him. “But it just happened. Am I to say no to my mate?”

“Never,” he agrees, shaking his head. “Just giving you a hard time, brother. You know I am happy for you. You’ve finally received the Gods’ blessing, and both Nat and I are over the moon for you both.”

“Thank you, brother.” I place a firm hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. But he pulls me into a hug filled with emotion. I hug him back, squeezing him hard and pouring all of my love into it. We’ve always been a close family, and I’ve hated not seeing him for so long. I need to make sure I make more time in the future to visit.

“Now, I’m sure you came down here to get some coffee before the family breakfast — which you are not getting out of, by the way.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” I laugh.

“Good. While I’m sure she’s up there eagerly waiting for you to come back, I need you to wait a few moments.”

Ah. Natalie has something up her sleeve, then. That’s why Erik is down here to intercept me. “And why is that?” I ask.

“Nat wanted to have some time with her this morning.” He grabs one of the mugs I sat down on the counter and fills it to the brim before handing it back over to me. “She said something about how you’ve got her dressed like a man?”

I bark out a laugh before bringing the steaming cup to my lips. Just the smell helped me wake up, but the taste is a shock to the senses. “Gods damn, this is strong.”

“Mm,” he agrees, pouring his own cup. He gestures toward the table against the wall. “I was told they’ll meet us down here for breakfast.”

“And who is cooking said breakfast?” I ask, looking incredulously at him. “Because I know it cannot be you, the man who didn’t learn to crack an egg until his twentieth birthday.”

“Hey! I’ve learned a lot since finding my Natalie. She has taught me how to do many things in the kitchen.” His smile turns wicked. “Like that the counter is a perfect height when she sits upon it and I kneel before her.”

“Okay, enough.” I laugh and take another drink of the bitter liquid.

“No,” he admits. “I am not making breakfast. But Natalie thought it could be a bonding experience for her and Kaia. She’s very excited, you know, to have another sister.” Erik smiles at me, and I understand what he means.

Natalie doesn’t have any family, and so we became that family for her. She was very attached to my parents, who loved her like their own. When they passed, she took it just as hard as we did. And when they moved here, away from me and Selah, and even farther away from the rest of the family, visits became sparse.

“I will visit more often,” I promise. “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

“Ah,” he says, swatting his hand like it’s not a big deal. “People get busy with their own lives. We understand, and we would make the trip more often if we didn’t have this place to look after.”

“I am still sorry, Erik.” I sigh. “Life began weighing heavy on me. Almost all of my family have been mated for so long… It was beginning to feel like my forge would be my only companion.”

“You’ve waited a very long time. Thankfully, we live for a very long time.”

“I haven’t fully discussed that with her yet,” I admit to him. “She hasn’t outright asked, but I know it’s on her mind.”

“What? How long you’re going to live?”

I nod. “Selah told me that humans do not live as long as us. She has eighty, maybe ninety, years, and we have hundreds. Will the bond sync with my life span? Or will I be left without her?”

The thought has weighed heavily on my mind ever since Selah broke the news to me the day she met her. I’ve considered what it will look like for me when she is no longer here, whether that be from choice or because her body has given out. And I just can’t see myself existing without her. Especially now. Nothing would make sense without her.

“I think you need to go see Feryn before you start asking yourself these questions. Wouldn’t it make sense that the bond would want you two to stay together as long as possible?” he asks. “It would make sense to me that her aging would end up matching yours. Maybe Feryn will know of others with human mates.”

“And if she doesn’t choose to stay?” I ask because I can’t help but think of the worst.

“Brother,” he says, chuckling. “Based on what we all heard last night, I don’t think she’s in any rush.”

I think about how she said this morning that she would have liked to remain in bed… with me . That was a small choice, and I had turned her down, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. Once we had answers, this limbo I was living in could end. But maybe Erik is right. Maybe I should stop worrying so much and just enjoy the time I have with her.

“And so what if she chooses to stay and you only have so many years with her?” he asks. “You’ve already lived out a century, and you would have almost another with her. And then you would see her again when you seek her out in our eternal home. That, my brother, is better than never having her at all.”

I nod.

“Thoren,” he says, catching my attention and making me look into his eyes. “Have you thought about just asking her to stay?”

Have I? The truthful answer is no, I haven’t. It hasn’t crossed my mind. I don’t want to influence her decision-making. I don’t want to put her on the spot. I don’t want her to look at me with sad eyes when she realizes she has to break my heart and the bond. I don’t want to put that on her fragile shoulders.

“No. And I will not.”

He sighs, heavy and tired.

“I think you should consider it, Thor.” He sits his mug down on the table, having drank its contents, and levels me with a look. “I think you need to tell her that you want her to stay.”

“And if she says no?” The thought causes pain to ripple through my entire body, like my body is trying to mimic what it will feel like when the bond is severed.

“I will respect her decision,” I say finally. “It is her life.”

“It’s also yours, brother.” He shakes his head sadly and stares at the table for a moment. “And I think you should have a say in it.”

Maybe I should , I think to myself. Maybe I should tell her how I feel, how I want her to stay with me in this world. But the thought terrifies me, not only because she could say no but because it could influence her decision. I don’t want to use the bond against her. I want her to think with a clear head and heart.

I sigh. I did not think having a mate would be so difficult.