Chapter 28
Kaiden’s gone when I wake in the morning, and I’m oddly disappointed by that. I slept well, considering everything that had happened. No nightmares either, so I feel better than I should.
It’s probably for the best that Kaiden’s gone though. Dark, sexy dreams kept me enslaved to a deep sleep I was reluctant to rouse from. If Kaiden had been in the bed beside me, a powerful tattooed arm wrapped around me and the heat of his body seeping into mine…well, I probably wouldn’t have been able to control myself. Which reminds me, I really must sort out this birth control situation.
Not that I plan on sleeping with Kaiden again, but I sure would like to find someone I can…date. I guess I’ve never really had a boyfriend, just that secret relationship with Zie when we were younger. I’ve been on dates. But I’ve never dated. Maybe I should rectify that.
I’m distracted from my musings by the sound of a phone going off. My phone.
Looking over, I see that my bag and phone are sitting on my desk, alongside the cardboard box from The General.
My heart pangs.
I can’t decide if he was needlessly cruel last night, or actually doing me a kindness. He didn’t have to give me her ashes after all. But now I’m staring at the box which contains the urn with all that’s left of my mum inside and I can’t…I just can’t.
Two temperatures war within me: ice-cold numbness and burning-hot rage. Who does that? What kind of monster…well, I know all too well what kind of monster The General is. The worst kind. But somehow this – keeping my mother’s death from me, selling the house, cremating her when she wished to be buried and then delivering her ashes to me so callously – it all seems so much worse than the physical things he did to me.
I used to think I could withstand The General’s special attention, but then when he took—
My phone rings again, and I blink out of my most painful memory. I try so hard to keep that one locked down, but my control is slipping.
“Hello?”
“I’d like you to join me for breakfast in the canteen.” I”m surprised to hear Axel’s voice on the line. Even more shocked by his almost cordial tone.
“What? Are you actually offering me a choice here, rather than demanding I attend?” I quip and he sighs like I’m petulant and trying. “Will the others be there?”
“Yes. Of course. Why?”
“We’ll you said ‘join me’ for breakfast, not ‘join us’,” I point out.
“I see…are you going to come?”
“Yes.”
“And if it was just breakfast with me?”
“Can you thank Zie for returning my things please?” I say after a pause.
Axel’s silence stretches on longer than mine and eventually just as I’m about to ask if he’s still there, he speaks.
“Will do.” His response is tight, strained. “So are you coming?”
“Yes. But I need an hour to get ready.”
“An hour? You’ve changed.”
The corners of my mouth twitch, unsure if they want to pull downwards or tug up into a smile. Did Axel make a joke? With his deadpan baritone it’s hard to tell.
“I need to—It doesn’t matter. I’ll be an hour. Wait for me, or don’t, either way I gotta eat so I’ll be going to the canteen.”
I hang up before he can say anything else, and rub absentmindedly at my aching chest. Axel’s always been a mystery, and today is no different. He has me more confused – and curious – than ever. Which is why I agreed to his breakfast date. Meeting. Whatever.
Definitely not a date though. Nope, no way.
It doesn’t take me an hour to get ready, but once I’m done, I spend a good portion of time sitting on my bed holding my mother’s urn in my hands. It’s stainless steel. Modern. Cold. Impersonal. Something neither of us would choose in a million years.
“What should I do with you?” I whisper. My emotions are beginning to fray again as I contemplate my mother”s ashes. This is the closest we’ve been to one another in years, and although it’s no substitution for the real thing, I find myself feeling more connected to her than the last time I saw her. I can barely even remember when that was.
Everything was so messed up back then.
“I’m sorry you’re gone, Mum, that you were taken away from me. I hate that we had drifted so far apart and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was happening to me. I should have warned you to be more careful of The General, I should have made you listen when you brushed away my concerns. I’m sorry that you didn’t get your wishes in death and that I didn’t ask more questions or put up a fight…but I promise you, I will put this right. For both of us.”
With that vow, I feel stronger. I’m no longer numb. There’s a fierce determination coursing through my veins. I will fight. I will use whatever perks being The Doe affords me to my advantage. I’ll be strong and I’ll gain power so that I can go after The General, and win. I will make him pay for all of the pain and suffering he’s caused me. For taking my mum and my home away. For stealing my innocence and everything in the world I hold dear.
And if that means I have to be the prized trophy of The Holy Trinity in order to make this happen, so be it.
Resolute, I cross campus and make my way to the canteen. I can play nice. I can do this. I know that Axel, Kaiden and Zie are powerful, and if anyone has the power and resources to take on The General and win, it’s them. So if I work with them to ensure they win this contest, and I become their prize, I’ll then be able to make The General pay.
As soon as I walk into the canteen, Kaiden waves me over. It wasn’t necessary. My eyes automatically sought them out the second I entered the building. They’re sitting in their usual formation, at their usual oversized table, and all eyes are on me as I approach them.
“Thanks…for waiting for me,” I clarify quickly before turning to Zie. “And for um returning my uh—” Fuck. I can’t say mum. “Things.”
Zie frowns at me. There’s a bang, the table jerks, and he hisses an expletive under his breath before glaring at Axel and turning back to me with a tight smile. “No problem. You’re welcome.”
“How did you get in?”
“The window, of course,” Kaiden quickly replies. I frown, smelling a rat.
“Okay, well, thank you. I’m going to grab some breakfast. Do you guys want anything?”
“Sit down, Peony,” Axel snorts, a smile almost tugging at his lips. “The Trinity don’t queue up for food like inmates.”
He called me Peony and his tone was almost friendly…and I didn’t hate it. I slide into the chair opposite Axel and ask, “Well, how do you eat then?”
“Watch.”
He nods to someone over my shoulder but before I can turn around, university waitstaff descend upon our table carrying plates and plates of food. Way too much food for the four of us. Kaiden and Zie load up their plates before the servers have even finished laying everything on the table.
“Well that explains a lot.”
“What?” Axel watches me with a satisfied smirk.
“I thought the oversized table was just for your ego.”
Zie chokes on his pancake, eyes bulging out, and Kaiden howls with laughter. Axel fails to look amused and indicates that I should eat.
I’m not about to turn down free food, so I quickly load my plate with pancakes, syrup and bacon. Axel scowls at my choices but he knows I’ve always had a sweet tooth. No amount of time apart will change that.
“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of this invite?” I say once I’ve eaten enough to take the rumbling edge of hunger off.
“We have business to discuss,” Axel replies.
“I wasn’t aware we had any business together. Only history.”
“You’ll never be history, Peony. Not when you’re my past, present and future, eternal.”
There he goes again, using my old nickname and tugging on my heartstrings. I’m being manipulated, that much is clear, but why? Axel’s started a new game and I need to learn to play along.
“Business then. What is it?” I prompt, trying to keep the conversation on track. I don’t want a trip down memory lane today.
“When did your mum die?” Axel throws me by asking suddenly. I feel all the colour drain from my face.
“A while ago,” I force out past the lump in my throat after a moment. My eyes are stuck to the half empty plate in front of me, but suddenly I can’t face another bite. I push the plate away.
“What happened?”
How do I answer that? Confess I have no idea how or when my own mother passed away? They’d have so many questions and I can’t explain that I was so entangled in a different kind of grief, that the news barely registered. By the time it hit home, all opportunities for asking questions were long gone, and the only thing that was left behind was crushing grief and guilt, multiplied tenfold.
Taking a deep breath, I steel myself to reply with a lie but before I can respond, a commotion breaks out all around us and everyone is suddenly clamouring to get to the huge flat screen TVs that are mounted high on the walls all around the canteen. Cries for people to shush and for someone to turn up the sound ring out. The Trinity move as one, getting to their feet smoothly and I quickly follow with far less grace.
“...to repeat, our breaking news this lunchtime...the Prime Minister has been rushed into hospital from his original home in Deathfall. Police have confirmed that he is in a critical condition following a suspected home intrusion after an official visit to Trinity College. His wife was out of town and was safe, and has since been notified of her husband’s critical condition. No further information is known at this time…”
The room erupts into conspiracies and my jaw slackens. I stare at the Trinity and eventually McKenzie looks at me. He gives the tiniest nod of his head and my heart stops.
They did this.
For me.
My eyes widen in shock and he scowls at me, pressing a finger to his lips for me to keep quiet. Why? Surely he isn’t keeping secrets from the others?
I frown before my brow creases in concern. Shit. What did he do? How did he do it? Will he be able to get away with this? I know the boys have hurt people before, but there’s a difference between what they do, and taking revenge on the most high profile politician in the country.
I long to ask Zie exactly what happened, what he did. If The General will recover. Why didn’t he kill him outright? I would have if I were in Zie’s position. But then again, The General isn’t my father and Zie doesn’t know everything he did. Perhaps if he was aware, The General wouldn’t still be breathing.
Then my stomach lurches and my lunch threatens to resurface at that thought. I grab the edge of the table to steady myself as my knees begin to quake.
Axel flicks his attention from the TV back to me without a word of comment on the news, and the other two follow his lead, as always. They take their seats and Axel raises a brow for me to do the same. I collapse back into my chair.
The enormity of what Zie has done, for me, slams into me with enough force to steal my breath away. The only thing that scares me more than the thought of McKenzie getting caught for this, is what he might want in return payment from me as a thank you.
“Where were we?” Axel asks, as if he doesn’t know exactly where the conversation was heading before the interruption.
I can’t believe he isn’t going to comment on the news. Zie clearly wants me to keep quiet but someone has to say something.
It’s hypocritical if I ask if he’s okay or express concern because the Trinity know me well enough to know that I don’t give a fuck, but it’s still his dad. If I’m pretending that I didn’t know Zie did it, I would at least ask…
“Are you okay?” I whisper to Zie.
“Me? Never better,” he mutters darkly, making a shiver run down my spine.
“The question is, are you?” Kaiden asks pointedly.
“Never better.” An awkward silence settles over us. “So, business?”
“We were asking about your mum. What happened there?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, so if we’re not here to talk about whatever this mysterious ‘business’ is, I need to go.”
“I’ll find out, either way,” Axel warns. “About all of it.”
“Good.” I get to my feet. “Maybe when you find something, you can let me know.”
“Stay.”
“Why?”
“You need to move in with us.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I blink, stopping in my tracks and turning to gape at Axel.
“You heard me.”
“I did. But I have no idea why you’d be suggesting something so outlandish. I can’t stand you, if you haven’t noticed.”
“Sit down and I’ll explain.”
Axel never offers to explain anything. Ever. Curiosity wins out and I sink back into my seat.
“Talk then.”
“You’re moving in with us.”
“Erm, no, I’m not.” I huff in frustration. I should have known Axel wasn’t going to explain shit. He tricked me into staying.
“This isn’t up for discussion or negotiation.”
“Exactly, so you listen to me. I don’t know what cock and bull reason you think you have for this crazy idea, but I’m telling you now: I’m not moving in with you. Now or ever.”
“All of us, or just me?”
“Take your pick,” I snap in response to Axel’s cold smirk. He’s insane if he thinks I’d willingly move in with him. With any of them. Even with things being…better with Kaiden, I don’t want to be in his space twenty-four seven. Fuck knows why they’d even want me to be.
“It’s come to our attention that you may not be as safe being The Doe as I originally thought.”
I snort at that. It would be cute, if it wasn’t so laughably naive of Axel to think that I’m in danger here in Black Hallows compared to the past two years.
“Having you under our protection physically would give me…peace of mind.”
“Fuck your peace of mind. And fuck your perceived danger too. The last I checked, you never protected me from shit. You up and left, and now that we just so happen to be at the same university, despite your best efforts to entangle me up in your fucked up games, you have no claim over my life anymore.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that if I were you.”
“I’ll be your doe, but that’s all I’ll ever be to you, Axel Abbot. Unless The Doe is required to reside with all of the contestants on some sort of rota basis or something, you have zero say in where I lay my head.”
I don’t bother excusing myself. Even though it pains me to leave the rest of my breakfast uneaten on the table, I do. I get to my feet and walk away without so much as a backwards glance. Fuck Axel for continuing to be a controlling ass. Fuck Kaiden for sitting there all quiet and saying jack shit. And fuck Zie too for whatever that stunt with The General was. A peace offering?
Last night, today…it’s all too much. Fuck The Holy Trinity and their games. I’m done.