Peony

I try to be strong and hold off on messaging them first, I really do. I make it forty-eight hours before I cave and text Zie first. I try for a cheery, I’m just checking in vibe, but he can probably read between the lines of my message and hear my desperation.

But it’s been two days. Two days since they left, which gives them plenty of time to settle in and unpack. I figured, first weekend there, they’re bound to go out drinking, so I wouldn’t expect to hear from them straight away. Especially if they’re nursing hangovers. But they should have sent something by now. They promised.

Picking up my phone for the hundredth time, I check the ringer is on loud. I need a shower but I don’t want to risk it in case one of them calls.

I fire off the same message I sent to Zie, to Kaiden. I add a ‘miss you’ to the end of his text though, because I don’t need to worry about sounding like a needy, clingy girlfriend with him.

I contemplate texting Axel, but after that kiss…I don’t even know what to say to him. If my mum hadn’t come home, how far would it have gone? All the way?

I don’t know. I also don’t know if it would be classed as cheating. Zie and I never put labels on anything so I don’t feel guilty, but I know if the tables were turned, I’d be crushed.

Fuck.

Why aren’t they texting me back?

Maybe I should call, leave a message?

No, maybe I’ll give it another day or two, then call to check in. Make sure everything’s okay.

It’s going to be a long two years as it is, not seeing them every day. I don’t know how I’ll cope if I don’t even get to talk to them.