Chapter 9

Dark shadows surround me, pressing against every inch of my skin and crowding around the bleeding body at my feet that I’m desperately trying to save.

“No! You can’t do this.” I beat helplessly at the bloody chest below me. “You can’t die, you fucker! Don’t you dare leave me!” Tears stream down my face as I beg everything – from The Gods to the stars to the devil – to save the boy I love. One of the boys that I love. “I can’t lose a piece of my soul.”

Warm arms envelope me and a gentle kiss brushes my temple.

“Shush, babygirl, I’m here, I’m here.” I curl into the voice”s chest and sob uncontrollably. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“You died again!” I cry.

“It was a dream, babygirl. I’ve got you. Sleep now.”

Another kiss and everything goes dark.

“Fuck!” I cry as I roll over and receive a sharp jab to the stomach. My sleepy eyes fly open, the remains of my nightmare vanishing in an instant as fear of the present floods my senses instead.

There’s a body in bed with me.

“What the actual fuck?!” I screech. I’ve probably woken my entire dorm up, but I don’t give a damn. My hand frantically searches under my pillow for the flick knife I keep there for reasons just like this and the second I curl my fingers around it, an ounce of control and calm returns to me.

I open the blade with a soft hiss and press it to my intruder’s throat.

“Fuck, babe, you know that shit gets me hard.”

“Kaiden! Get the hell out of my room!”

“Morning gorgeous.” The Spirit grins up at me from his prone position stretched out on my duvet. Oh thank god, he has clothes on and is lying on top of the covers.

“What are you doing here?” I squeak, pulling the covers up to my chin in a desperate attempt to hide. The knife tumbles onto the bed between us and Kaiden reaches for it to move it to safety.

“Oh relax,” he scoffs. “I know you’re not naked under there, so chill out.”

I shoot a fierce glare at him and repeat my question.

“Well, you were making quite a racket having a dream or something, so I came in to comfort you. You don’t remember? You spoke to me.”

“How did you get in?” I squirm, uncomfortable.

“You still leave your window on the latch,” he replies, frowning at me. “You know that’s really not safe, babe.”

My shoulders bob in a shrug. Old habits die hard and all that. Besides, he knows as well as anyone why I need the window open at night. For the same reason I’ll bet he still sleeps with his unlatched. Escape routes were always a necessity during his childhood.

Kaiden surprises me by turning on his side to face me suddenly. Reaching out, he tucks a lock of my long brown hair behind my ear, resting his palm against my cheek when he’s done.

“I missed you, babygirl,” he whispers. “You look good.”

I blink at him, unsure how to respond. I’m biting my bottom lip, staring at him when he abruptly sits up. He climbs off the bed and stares down at me.

“It might be best if you don’t mention to...anyone...that I was here.” For a moment he looks kind of sheepish.

“Why not?” My brows draw together.

“You know Axel won’t like it, babe.”

“I don’t give a fuck what Axel likes,” I spit vehemently. Kaiden gives me a wide smile, like he approves of my feisty attitude. I give him a brief smile in return before my face falls. Rescuing me from my demons last night does not make everything from the past okay. I reach up to absentmindedly rub my hand over my new tattoo. “You should go,” I say flatly.

He doesn’t reply, but does as I asked. I feel oddly deflated when he’s gone. It’s like, without his presence to reassure me, the shadows of my nightmares begin to press down on me again. Breathing deeply, I shake the darkness off and head to the shower to wash away the cloying shadows of the past and get ready to face a new day.

Pulling on my uniform, I pause. Normally, I wouldn’t think twice about listening to Axel’s bullshit, but today I feel really drained and I just can’t face fighting him. That said, the university insists that we wear a uniform, so how the hell am I meant to keep the damn doe tattoo on show?

I pull on a low cut cami, then the sheer shirt over the top. I half button it and leave off the tie, before shrugging on my blazer which I also leave open. That’ll have to do. Sighing at my tired reflection, and the way I’ve bent so easily to Axel’s will, I grab my bag and head to the canteen for breakfast. I try to tell myself that it’s not caving, it’s self preservation. I should choose my battles wisely and all that, and picking a fight over clothing is just stupid when I’m feeling so raw after my nightmare.

That nightmare. Fuck. It’s haunted me for years, only ever replaced by memories of The General. It’s like my imagination can’t compete with the horrors I’ve been subjected to, and so it just tortures me by playing memories on repeat instead.

It’s fucked up, but not as fucked up as the knowledge that I’d rather have dreams about The General every night for the rest of my life than have to relive the moment Kaiden died on me.

And that’s why I just…can’t today.

Mercifully, none of The Holy Trinity are there and I’m able to grab a bagel in peace. Despite my better judgement, I keep messaging Harry, hoping for a reply. None comes of course. I briefly flirt with the idea of telling “Harry” about Kaiden staying over the night, especially knowing that Axel is having my messages rerouted to his phone. But it’s just not worth the hassle today.

Defeated and dog-tired, I trudge to my first lecture, glad that I have the afternoon off. I could get used to these half days, though I suspect once the course really gets going I’ll be using that time for studying. Once I’m in the lecture hall, I perk up as the lecture begins. Today we’re studying the science of sound and right from the get-go the lecturer has me hooked. I don’t even notice my stress melting away. I actually leave the room feeling energised and excited to learn more.

That feeling dies when I enter the canteen at lunchtime and all eyes turn to stare at me. Or rather, my mark, which seems to burn under their gaze. The room falls deathly silent. Sighing, I grab my tray and keep my head up. I have nothing to be ashamed of. As I walk to a clear table near the back of the busy room, whispers break out like wildfire at every table I pass. Speculation sweeps through the room in a tidal wave of gossip. I need to get answers and find out exactly what being The Doe means. From the weighty stares on my back and the malicious intent I saw in Axel’s eyes, I know it can’t be anything good, but I feel like I’m the only person on campus in the dark about whatever this thing is.

Sitting down, I pull out my phone and browse the internet, looking for answers. While scrolling one handed, I eat using the other. I sigh when my search doesn’t return any results. Changing the key words and parameters of my search brings me more luck. A single hit which takes me to an old alumni blog post. I skim through the blah blah reminiscing of the writer’s time at the university, until I’m nearly toward the end of the article:

Some rumours say that the legend of the Hunting Grounds is true, and that all alumni are sworn to secrecy on pain of death. Well, readers, I have never been one to shy away from the truth! But honestly, in all of my three years there, I can safely say I never heard any mention of the much fabled game…

I toss my phone away, frustrated that I’ve been unable to find what I’m looking for.

“Tut-tut, temper, temper, little doe.”

I look up to see The Trinity of arseholes standing before me. Before I can make a move for the phone, Kaiden has picked it up and is smirking at the screen.

“What’s the matter, babe, having trouble finding answers?” I scowl at him and lunge for my phone, aware that we’re drawing quite a crowd of curious onlookers, but not caring. Kaiden passes my phone to Axel like a good little bitch and smirks at me, the guy from my room this morning long gone.

Axel skims the article and gives a chilling laugh. Nothing good ever comes from him laughing like that. He passes the phone to McKenzie, who also reads it. The three of them move as one, crossing their arms and smirking down at me.

“You know,” Kaiden begins.

“We could give you answers,” Axel adds.

“For a price,” McKenzie finishes in a flat monotone, not meeting my eye.

“Still wanting answers, little doe?” Axel teases in a deceptively soft and dangerous tone. Swallowing, I nod, unable to speak. “Come to our suite after dinner tonight.”

I blink and they’re gone. The cacophony of sounds swirling around the room threatens to overwhelm me and I push away from the remains of my food. I need space or quiet or something.

Shaking my head to try and clear it, I dump my tray and push through the double doors out into the fresh air. I shiver and wrap my blazer tightly around me.