8. Riley

Chapter 8

Riley

I was a fucking genius.

That date with Will had spooked me far more than I'd admitted to Danny. In the days that had followed, I'd found myself thinking of him. Wondering if I should text him. See if he wanted a repeat.

The realisation had been horrifying.

I didn't want a boyfriend. My childhood trauma was enough on its own, but I also had Danny to consider. I spent all my free time with him. If I was seeing someone, I'd have to give that up.

I didn't want to. Spending time with Danny made me happy. I felt calm around him. He gave me a sense of peace I hadn't found around anyone else; not even my mum or Matty. Sure, maybe I'd find it with a partner, but there was no guarantee.

And if I did that, Danny would be losing his person. Again. Not only had he already lost Leo to a relationship, but he'd lost someone else long before that. I didn't know who, I might not ever know, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was that Danny missed them, whoever they were. Their loss chased him to Scotland every year, searching for solace in the bottom of a bottle.

I wasn't doing that to him. For better or worse, he had me in his life, for as long as he wanted it.

Dating someone else wouldn't be fair. Not just to Danny, but to whoever I chose. They'd have to settle for only having pieces of me, knowing there were parts of me Danny had already claimed. Not in a romantic sense, but something far deeper.

If there was such a thing as a platonic soulmate, then that's what Danny was for me. I had no desire to change anything about my life.

That was why this was the perfect solution. Sex could remain a part of my lifestyle, but there was no risk of any pesky emotions coming along with it.

See? Genius.

I knew Danny wasn't happy about it; he'd made that obvious over the past couple of weeks. But really, this was no different to what we'd already been doing. I was just streamlining proceedings, cutting out the unnecessary parts and focusing on the nuts and bolts.

Danny was so mad at me that I'd half expected him to not show. I should've known his protective nature would win out. Hopefully, after tonight, he'd understand what a great idea this was. Then, next time, we could do this together.

There was a distant knock on the door and I squeaked, scrambling up onto the bed. I'd been looking forward to this all week, but now that it was here, I was nervous. What if Danny was right? What if this bloke tried to hurt me? Went too fast? Didn't care about my pleasure?

That could happen with any hookup, I reminded myself. You've prepped lots and are quite capable of getting yourself off during sex. It's going to be okay.

Most of all, it was the thought of Danny being downstairs that calmed me. He wouldn't let anyone hurt me. All it'd take was one word from me and he'd be here in a flash.

I buried my face in my pillow, my prepped ass high in the air. Anticipation zipped through me. Just a few more moments and someone would be walking in here. Would he like what he saw? Me, ready and waiting?

Doesn't matter if he does, this is about getting off.

That was true, but still, I was vain enough to hope he'd like what he saw.

The seconds ticked past, but there were no footsteps climbing the stairs. I frowned against the cotton. Was Danny giving the poor bloke the third degree? He was just supposed to open the front door, for fuck's sake.

My cock now hung limp between my legs as nerves began to edge past the anticipation. Why wasn't he coming upstairs?

I was about to march down and find out when I finally heard the first stair creak. Oh my god, this was happening. Fuck, fuck, fuck .

You can end this at any time, I reminded myself. Just say ‘Danny,' and it'll all end. You have all the power.

Because of Danny. I shouldn't forget that. Without him, this wouldn't be happening. He might have thought I was a moron for doing this, but in reality, I was only comfortable doing it because of him. He wouldn't let anything hurt me.

Yes, that made me a codependent idiot, but so what? I was happy. Danny was happy. Everything was okay.

The door to my bedroom opened. Instinctively, I almost looked over my shoulder, but I caught myself at the last second. Instead, I shoved my face into the pillow until there were spots of colour dancing across the darkness.

Seconds ticked by endlessly. Ragged breaths filled the air. He wasn't touching me. Was something wrong? Did he not like how I looked?

I was about to lift my head, to ask if everything was okay.

But then I felt his hand on me. Not where I was expecting either. No, he caressed along my spine in soothing strokes. My breathing immediately slowed, my muscles relaxing under his gentle touches.

No, this wasn't at all what I'd been expecting, but fuck me, I was here for it.

Cool, slick fingers reached underneath me, wrapping around my shaft. I whimpered, grateful he'd spotted the lube I'd left out for him. Again, I'd said no foreplay needed, but if he wanted to feel me up a bit then he could be my guest. My nerves, which had got the better of me, were fading under the surety of his touch. I bit my lip as my cock stiffened, delighting in the moment.

While he stroked me in confident movements, his other hand went to my hole. He touched the skin tentatively, almost checking my response, before sliding a finger in past the first knuckle.

"You don't need to worry," I rasped into the pillow. "I'm prepped and lubed. Fuck me already."

There was a rumbling noise, almost like he'd started to chuckle before immediately cutting it off. I frowned. That was strange. Mind you, I had asked for no talking, so maybe he was taking it to heart.

He continued to touch me though, stretching me even wider than I'd already done. I whimpered into the pillow as my hips started to move in tandem with his fingers. Fuck, I hoped he had an accurate understanding of his size and wasn't just suffering from delusions of grandeur.

When I was comfortably taking three of his fingers, he must've deemed me ready. The familiar sound of a condom wrapper being torn open had the last bit of anxiety edging away. I was on PrEP, but given the circumstances, I'd been firm on protection being used.

Once again, the stranger did the unexpected. Instead of shoving himself in, he rubbed the covered head of his cock up and down my crease. The action made me shiver. Whoever this man was, he obviously wasn't going to rush this…experience.

The bed creaked, the mattress dipping behind me. I felt the brush of denim against my thighs and my cock throbbed. He hadn't got undressed—why was that so fucking hot?

I was vibrating with anticipation when he finally notched himself against my hole. His hand ran up my spine, stopping at the bottom of my neck. As he pushed forwards, his fingers squeezed, like he was reassuring me.

I wasn't going to lie, it was needed. The dude was fucking huge. I tensed automatically, breathing through my nose as I willed my body to relax. To let him in.

Thankfully, the man didn't rush. He waited, stroking his thumb along my neck until he felt me relax. Only then did he edge in and out in small increments, not stopping until he was fully seated.

By that point, I was yanking at the sheets in desperation. I hadn't felt this full in a long time. Not since that night with Danny, so many years ago.

"Fuck yes," I moaned loudly. "You feel so good."

Another chuckle. The sound had me freezing for a minute as the hairs on my arms rose, a bell ringing in the back of my mind.

But then he pulled back to the tip and slammed home. All thoughts of anything else were washed away, leaving nothing behind except the pleasure he was giving me.

Using the hand not on my neck, he lifted my hips slightly, changing the angle. My whimpers morphed into full-blown moans as the fat head of his cock dragged over my prostate.

His thrusts were unforgiving. All I could do was hold on to the sheets and let him use me.

It was weird—he was in control, but I'd never felt more powerful. I was the one making this stranger feel so good. It was my body dragging those little grunts from him. My hole clenching around his shaft. My skin he couldn't stop caressing.

I'd been half expecting him to hammer all the way to the end, but suddenly he changed his approach. He slowed down, letting go of my neck and running his fingers over the lines of my muscles. Was he trying to memorise me? To remember this for future lonely nights?

My breath caught in my chest. This wasn't going at all as planned, but I wasn't sorry about it. How could I be when he was making me feel this good?

His hips started to move again, but slower this time. He was rotating slightly, stretching me in a new way. It sent waves of electricity along my limbs, making me cry out as he brushed over my prostate again and again and again.

Just when I couldn't take it anymore, he switched to slow, deep thrusts. Ones designed to make me forget that we were two individuals, and that I wasn't just an extension of this perfect stranger.

My cock was throbbing painfully between my legs, sticky precum creating a mess on the bedding beneath me. My orgasm was building, and I knew already that it was going to be explosive. The kind of release I'd be reliving over and over again.

In the back of my mind, those warning bells were going again. This was so much more than the anonymous fuck I'd been expecting. This man was ruining me in way I hadn't thought possible. There was only one other time I'd been this satisfied in bed, and honestly, I hadn't believed anyone else capable of it. That night with Danny had been my first taste of nirvana, and knowing I couldn't go back there, I'd genuinely believed I wouldn't experience it again.

Fuck, I'd never been so happy to be wrong.

But it's just for tonight, I reminded myself. That was the whole point of this. I couldn't obsess over this perfect stranger. He'd leave once this was done, and I'd never think of him again.

Just as it was supposed to be.

Part of me wanted to sneak a glance over my shoulder, but I didn't want to ruin this moment. It was better that I didn't know what he looked like. Better that I just enjoy this for what it was—stupendous sex.

I was so close to the edge, but I needed more. The slow, deep thrusts were no longer doing it for me. Lifting up onto my elbows but keeping my face in the pillow, I shoved back on him hard. I went faster, encouraging him to do the same.

Fortunately, he immediately realised what I needed. His pace increased once more and he wrapped his hand around my shaft, jerking it in time. I moaned loudly, the sound barely discernible over the creaking of the bed frame, as he slammed into me.

My orgasm was rushing towards me, but I tried desperately to hold it back. I wasn't ready for this to end. Once it did, this man would leave. I wouldn't have this again, not with him.

I had to hold on. Just a little longer.

His weight fell against my back, the sweat dampened cotton of his top clinging to my skin. He was big, much wider than me, which made sense given the size of his hands and cock. I wasn't being crushed, so he had to be holding himself up, letting me take enough of his weight to feel him, but not so much as to make me feel uncomfortable.

Maybe I'd glance back. When we were finished, I wanted to see him. I wanted a face to put to all the fantasies I knew I'd be concocting during future lonely nights.

Stubble brushed against the back of my neck. Quiet moans mixed with loud breaths had me shivering. I bit down on my lip. I would not come. I wouldn't.

Then he pressed his lips to my neck. One touch. One quiet kiss.

And I came undone.

I flashed back to five years before. To the orgasms I'd had under Danny's touch. For an instant, guilt and shame joined the pleasure coursing through me. Experiencing this with another felt like an odd betrayal of my best friend, which was ridiculous. That night was long behind us, closed behind steel doors and barred with locks to rival those of Fort Knox.

I wasn't betraying Danny, but a part of me had thought I'd only ever share this level of pleasure with him. That it was a secret, sacred part of us.

But I'd been wrong. The stranger spilling his release into the condom between us was proof of that.

I blinked against the pillow, my emotions in chaotic disarray. I'd just had the orgasm of a lifetime. Why the fuck wasn't I revelling in that?

The man pulled out, his breathing even now. I could almost feel his eyes burning into the back of my neck, like he was willing me to turn around.

I forced my face further into the pillow. Any desire to see him had fled in the wake of my orgasm. I couldn't invite Danny back into my bed, but I could ask this stranger back. Could sit up and introduce myself, ask if he wanted a repeat, see if our chemistry would be just as intense a second time.

But that was the slippery slope I was trying to avoid with all of this. No, I didn't want to see him. Instead, I'd be grateful that he'd given me an amazing experience and revisit it as a fun jerk-off memory in the future.

And I wouldn't think about how he'd made me feel as satisfied as Danny once had.

I lay there silently, willing the stranger to leave. For a minute or two longer, I felt him watching me.

Then, just as I was beginning to wonder if I'd need to summon Danny, I felt his weight leave the bed. There was the sound of a zipper closing. The door opening. Steps on the stairs. The front door banging.

Relief filled me and I relaxed into the bedding. He hadn't stopped to talk to Danny, which was good. My bestie would probably have a few quips about the ride I'd just been given.

Again, I felt that unexpected surge of guilt. What the fuck was my brain doing? Danny had heard me get railed many times before, it had never bothered either of us.

It's because you've not been fucked like that since Danny was the one doing it, my inner voice pointed out. Now he knows someone else out there can make you moan exactly like he once did.

Yeah, that was fucking awkward. It didn't need to be though. We were friends, nothing more. And, as his friend, I was going to go downstairs and buy him a Chinese. I grinned lazily. I definitely owed him for putting up with my hare-brained schemes.

I rolled over and strolled for my en-suite, smiling at the tenderness in my rear. Great sex, then a takeaway and gaming with my best friend.

Honestly, what more could a guy ask for?