9. Crew

9

Crew

M y watch is about to tell me to take a walk with the amount of times I've turned my wrist over to check the time. The sun is getting high in the sky and it's nearly noon when Ford saunters by and I can smell his attitude from a mile away.

"Don't," I growl.

"Don't what, Crew?" Ford tips his hat back and stares at me with those cold brown eyes. "I warned you, now you get to clean up that mess."

"There isn't a mess to clean, Ford."

"Sure there isn't." He pushes his hat back over his eyes and disappears out of sight.

I kick my boot against the fence and dig my keys from my pocket, "Bode!" I holler to him as he rounds the pen on horseback. "I need you to take these horses up to the west pasture, can you do that?"

"With my eyes closed," he answers. "Where you going?"

"Into town, business. I'll be back later. Take one of the other hands with you."

"Yes, boss," he nods and circles the mare around to the gate.

The drive into town feels longer than usual and it's probably because I'm stewing over everything I'm going to say to Logan. I don't wanna be upset with her but she's still under my care as an employee and not showing up for her community service is grounds to kick her out of the program.

I can hear Cammy's voice in my head, she'll go to county.

Somehow the woman who I preached was not my responsibility had become it.

I pull up outside of the diner with no intent on hiding this time. Sneaking in last night to scare the life out of her creepy, handsy boss had been easy. He was in the back closing up, stepped right out into the alley, prime for a good roughing up.

Grabbing her phone from the center console I slip it into my jeans pocket and enter the diner. When the bell rings above my head she looks up and all the color drains from her face. At least she's aware of the fact that she's in trouble.

"Hey handsome!" The lady from the other day greets me. "Burgers?"

"What are you doing?" I ignore her and look at Logan, the annoyance that settles on her face is comforting.

"Working," she says, trying to sound polite.

"Get to the ranch."

The annoyance is quickly replaced with anger, her eyes narrow at me and her brows furrow. Her coworker is still flashing a bright smile at me and even though Logan is hiding it well I can see every explosive thought ticking behind her eyes. She made a choice this morning not expecting for me to care enough to call her on it. Unfortunately for her, the devil always comes knocking.

"I think I'll eat here today," I turn back and give her a bright smile that I know makes Shepard's blood boil.

"Sure thing, pick anywhere to sit and Logan will be along."

I set her phone on the table and slide into the booth as I wait for her to come around the counter with a menu and a coffee pot in her hand.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She asks me and pours me some coffee.

"I'm having lunch," I answer. I push her forgotten phone to her. "You left this in my truck."

"You're antagonizing me." She grinds her teeth, slipping the phone into the pocket of her apron.

"You were adamant about not breaking your parole if I remember correctly. Mandate says you have to meet with me, it's my name on those papers, not the ranch or the horses. I'm here, having lunch."

Realizing she's caught, she closes her mouth.

She doesn't say anything for a long moment, her eyes scanning over me as she searches for the correct response. She never finds it and I'm pretty proud of myself for dousing the fire that is Logan Shepard twice in less than forty-eight hours. But speechless was not something she did well or for a long time.

"Order then," she sighs.

"I'll take a burger," I say.

"No tomato," she scribbles and talks. I give her a small look of confusion. "Cam orders ham and cheese everyday, somedays he also orders a burger with no tomato."

Her eyes are dark when she looks up from her notepad again.

"And onion rings." I finish her thought trying not to smile at the fact that she had picked up on my lunch order through my brother.

"A double order?" She asks, Cam always makes it double. I nod at her. "I'll be right back."

"I'll be here." I grin as she scowls back at me.

I sit in that diner watching her go about her shift for the rest of the day like it's my goddamn job. Seeing a side of her I hardly ever get to see, a painted-on mask for everyone that comes in. She smiles but it never reaches her eyes and her voice gets a little higher when she's talking to all the retired nurses that come in for afternoon breakfast from the hospital down the street.

She floats around on her worn out sneakers, aware of every table corner, stray leg and rogue elbow. Never missing a beat as she works harder than anyone else in the diner. To say I'm in awe is a mediocre way to describe the feelings that stirred around beneath the surface.

Around three she circles back to my table to fill my cup.

"I'm done, but I have to pick up Ash and then we can go to the ranch and I'll get my chores started-"

"Logan," I stop her, "no ranch today. You worked hard enough."

"I'd still have nearly three hours if I was working up there today." She says.

I hate the way she doesn't look away from the tables around her, constantly on for the patrons in the diner. Her eyes take in everything but me as she pours my coffee to the brim without spilling a drop.

"You aren't, but if you want to be a stickler for the rules I have an idea."

She looks apprehensive for a moment but nods. "I have to grab my things."

I pay for my meal, including the pie that was given to me by the flirtatious waitress free of charge and wait for Logan by the truck. She comes out in a dark tank top and a pair of jeans with her hair pulled up into a ponytail and a scowl on her face.

"You can get your car later." I open the passenger side for her and she eyes me, but climbs in.

"Ash's school is—"

"I know where the elementary school is." I turn the engine over and pull from the parking lot with a chuckle. "Sometimes I think you forget I grew up in this God-forsaken town, too."

"If I remember correctly this town has always loved you," she groans and looks out the window. "Football star turned all-American Hero," her voice is low and whiny as she mocks me. "They hung banners in the streets for your homecoming, Crew Cassidy. Don't act like you weren't the golden boy of this town."

"This town spends too much time making people into what they want them to be and not enough time focusing on who people really are when the gossip dies down," I say. "And Cam's the golden boy, I left town for a reason, but that didn't fit the narrative."

"Whatever."

She brushes me off and fiddles with her phone in her hand and I can tell she's uncomfortable with the surprise but this is one fight she won't win. I follow the other cars into the pick up line, realizing my truck is very out of place and very dirty as I slow to a roll and park. And even though it's ugly, Ash lights up like a Christmas tree when he sees it in the line.

"Mama!" The sound of his excitement fills the cab as Logan helps him into a seatbelt. "Kevin's gonna be so jealous when I tell him tomorrow at school!" He's wiggling so much that Logan has to stop, inhale deeply and try again to buckle him in.

"Alright baby, take a beat. Mr. Cassidy has somewhere he wants to take us."

She climbs back into the front and I feel her tense as I turn toward the ranch, but she relaxes a touch as we drive by it and I turn down an old service highway that leads into the brush. I can see the curiosity cross her face as I pull the truck to a stop and hop out, helping Ash down from it on my way around.

"Keep in ear shot, but down there," I point to the break in the trees, "there's a creek— not deep," I turn because I can feel Logan's eyes burning a hole in the plaid shirt I'm wearing. "There's frogs in it, I need you to catch at least… six."

"Six?" Ash laughs. "I can catch more than six!"

"Careful," I tell him as he heads for the dip that leads to the creek. I turn back to look at Logan as I stand up straight. "Come on."

She sighs for a long moment before closing the door and following me down the small hill toward the creek. "It breaks about half a mile down-"

"I know Foster's Creek, Cassidy," she snips. "It runs behind the trailer park. Just because nobody wanted me hanging around doesn't mean I couldn't hear all the parties."

"Watch your step," I say as the ground softens beneath her feet and she sways to the left, reaching out for my extending hand. Her fingers brush against mine and the heat from her skin lights a thousand tiny fires.

She pulls away the second she's found her balance and tucks her hand into her pocket as she looks around for Ash.

"There," I point just to our right where he's digging at a fallen log, the sound of his sneakers scratching against the ground echoing out.

For a long time my sensitivity to sounds made it hard to acclimate to being home. I could hear everything and it was always a bigger dog with more teeth in my mind, the shadows of my military training following me around in the dark. But I learned to use it instead of fear it.

"Did you-" she sighs, dropping her voice so Ash can't hear her. "Hurt Carl?"

I try not to smile at the question but it was nice to know that our little talk had shifted his perspective on the world. "Wasn't me," I say. Lying to her is the right thing to do.

Even if she was comfortable with the idea of violence, which from the way she treated Tommy's truck I know she is. It's the idea that I took care of something for her that would get her riled up and, as fun as that is on a regular day, her shoulders had started to relax and her brows had gone slack from my response.

Logan just needs a day to be herself more than any other person I know. Even if the small lie sits heavily in my gut.

"I didn't come to the ranch today because I need the work, Crew," she said. "I can't afford to miss shifts."

"You can't afford to miss community service," I retort.

"I can't afford to lose my home which is something you clearly do not comprehend. I have to be able to work and I can't do that if I'm spending every day at the ranch shoveling horse shit." She swallows tightly.

"I didn't put a baseball bat through Tommy's windshield, you did that. Own it."

"I'm not acting like I didn't! I'm pissed the system is broken and that it took that baseball bat for someone to listen to me! If I lose my house, I lose my son, Crew!" Logan spits.

"You think being thrown into county won't lose you a son?" I ask her, double-checking to make sure Ash was okay before I step into her personal space. "All you gotta do is ask for help!"

"No," she shakes her head and an angry scowl forms on her lips.

"Why is that so hard for you?" I tilt my head to catch her eyes and am met with fire.

"Because even if a person's intentions are kind, everyone gets sick of helping, eventually." She steps back from me. "And everyone's kindness comes with a cost."

I want to question her, to fight it but I see her daddy staring up at me and I know there's no use. Logan Shepard was raised to be as stubborn as the man who raised her. Cam might have been wrong; for the first time in a long time I'm not sure I can help her through the anger she carries, but it doesn't mean I wasn't gonna try.

"We'll schedule ranch chores around your work shifts, I'll sit at the diner until you get it figured out," I say and her eyes catch mine.

Ash runs down the side of the creek, darting across rocks and giggling as he goes.

"Mama!" He yells, crouching down in the dirt. "Look!"

We both wander down the creek to where he sits, hovering over two ducklings that seem to be alone. "What did you find, A?"

"Ducks!"

"Their mama seems to be missing." I sink onto my heels and look down the creek.

"Did she get lost?" He asks me.

"Maybe. When it rains the creek gets too strong for them to be able to swim, the current must have been too much for her." I hear Logan huff from beside me as she lowers herself next to Ash.

"Will she come back?"

"She might but she'll have to learn to take on the strong waters." I'm met with a dirty look that turns the corners of my mouth upward.

"Or she's working on finding them some food, building a new nest." Her brows crease.

"I bet that's it!" Ash scoops one of them up in his palm. "A mama would never leave her babies."

"You're right, bud, she wouldn't."

He stands with the duckling cradled against his chest and turns to look around. "Here," he gently passes it off. "I'm going to go find them some leaves and grass. "

I watch him run off in the opposite direction on a mission and when I turn back she's still staring at me. "Why are you being so nice to us, Crew?"

"Because, despite what you believe, not all kindness comes at a cost."