30. Logan

30

Logan

" T hose need curtains," I squint, and fuss with the chain of Crew's dog tags around his neck in our bed.

Our bed.

My leg is hooked around him and the sun pours through the tiny cabin windows, bathing the sheets and our skin in warmth. I would have slept forever if not for the light in my eyes and now I'm nothing but grumpy. Crew draws lazy circles on my back with his calloused, work-worn fingers. Hazel eyes lit by the sunshine fall on my face and a smirk forms on his lips as he shakes his head.

"I'm surprised he's still asleep." Crew lifts the blanket with his foot and a bundle of blonde hair stirs at the end of the bed. Curled in a circle around one of those damn ducks, with chocolate still smeared across his face.

"The way Bode had him running circles last night in the barn, he's going to sleep through Christmas day."

Soft fluffy flakes of snow hit the window sill outside and blankets the forest around our house in sparkly white. Ash's quiet snores ripple up through the comforter as he wiggles down into the mattress still fast asleep.

Crew groans when I pull away, his hand catching my wrist and pulling me back against him, "where do you think you're going?" He asks.

"I want coffee," I coo and bring our lips together.

Sunlight dances in his eyes and his hand cups my face. "Merry Christmas," he purrs against my lips. He steals another kiss before reluctantly letting me go.

Crew sinks down into the blankets, careful not to disturb the sleeping duckling at the end of the bed that nuzzles against Ash. I hold back tears as he releases me. Happy tears, for my little family, pieced together with tape and hope but we were here. I grab my sweater from the hook on the back of the door and walk out into the main area of the little cabin. It's piled with cardboard boxes, Christmas decorations and, even in the chaos of moving in and getting settled, it feels like home. It's not new, or lavish but it's ours and there's not a bullet hole in sight.

I run the water and get it boiling before turning to survey the mess. The tree stands tall in the corner, flickering rainbow colored string lights tucked carefully into all the branches. The image of Crew lifting Ash up high enough to slip the gold star on the top dances through my memory. I laugh quietly under my breath and anchor myself to the counter as the wave of happiness hits. It felt damn good to be filling my heart with new memories that didn't eat me alive.

One good memory at a time. I would soon enough erase all the bad, and the anger I carry would be gone with it. One at a time.

There's a small knock on the door and I look at the time on the old stove. Padding across the cold floor I make a mental note to buy new socks to protect from the chill before swinging the door open to find Cam standing with an arm full of presents and a smile on his face.

"Morning, Logan." He slides past me into the house and stomps his boots on the mat, a tiny frustrated huff leaving my lips before I can stop him. "Where is everyone?"

"Asleep." I shake my head and help him with the presents so he can take off his jacket.

"Sorry." He removes the large tan cowboy hat from his head and hangs it as he kicks off his boots and wanders behind me toward the tree. His casual green knit sweater and blue jeans throw me for a loop but he looks handsome and it's nice to see him out of uniform.

Kneeling beside me he sets out a few labeled for Ash and a couple for Crew.

"Here." he sits forward, Christmas lights sparkling back at me in those big hopeful eyes, and pulls a crumbled, rolled piece of paper from the back pocket of his jeans. "Merry Christmas."

I take the paper in my hands and unroll it carefully. It's from the court house, stamped official and everything. "What is this?" I ask him, fear sinking it's grimey sharp claws into me so fast I barely have time to process.

"Logan, keep reading." He nudges the paper.

"Cammy?" Crew steps out into the living room, fighting to get his arms in a shirt as he closes the bedroom door. My eyes don't linger from the paper for long and my heart swells with excitement as the claws pull back.

"What's that?" He asks, moving around the couch to squat down behind me, the warmth at my back confirms that the storm is over.

"It's a court document stating that full custody has been reinstated and that a restraining order has been granted against Thomas Henry." I look over my shoulder at Crew, tears brimming my eyes and smile.

Crew looks up at Cam and then back at the paper.

"Granted no one can find Tommy so he has no clue." Cam talks about him like we don't all know the truth, but I understand why he does. "If he surfaces and starts causing trouble, I'm the first person you call. You hear me?" He's still the sheriff of the town and remaining separated from the situation was in his best interest even if a smile creeps to his face.

"This is official?" Crew asks him, taking the paper from me as I dry my eyes.

Cam's hand finds my calf and gives me a tap, "it's official."

"Merry Christmas, pretty girl." Crew kisses my temple and soft tears roll down my cheeks.

I couldn't have asked for a better gift; ultimate safety. Even if Tommy is gone for good this is a letter proving that I'm worthy to be Ash's mom, that it's me that he should have been with. It's a certificate of all the hard work I've done over the years to hold him close and keep him with me.

"Are you staying for Christmas dinner?" I ask Cam .

Both men stare at me like I'm crazy as I wipe the rest of the tears from my eyes and push off the cold floor.

"Not if you're cooking," he laughs and stands in unison with Crew.

"She's not." Crew takes a step back when he says it, standing clear of the dirty look I shoot over my shoulder at him. "We're going up to the main house, Dot and Bode are cooking."

"If you're staying, you're unpacking," I sigh, looking around at the mess, but Crew pushes his hand into mine and brushes his thumb over it in a soft, quiet celebration of our victory. Of our safety.

"Put me to work." Cam claps his hands together.

Crew shows him a pile of boxes in the corner that need to be worked on before joining me in the kitchen. His strong arms wrap around my middle and his chin rests on my shoulder as we look out over the snow covered forest through the kitchen window.

"How does it feel?" He whispers to me.

His warm breath rolls down my neck and I lean into his touch to soak it all up.

"Unreal," I respond.

Crew laughs under his breath and kisses my jaw, "you worked hard to get here Logan, it wasn't some luck of the draw, or fate that did it. You earned the freedom, the peace of mind."

Leave it to Crew to say something so profound that tears are brought to my eyes again. I curl into his touch, burying my face against his chest and his hands rake over my head as I cry. How had I gotten so damn lucky?

"I have something for you," he says and before I can protest he's pulling away and disappearing. I pout only because I could have spent forever in that hug, hiding from all the overwhelming emotions that came with this relief.

He returns and hands me a small rectangular package about the size of a book, wrapped in paper with a birthday design on it. My eyebrow lifts and he rolls his eyes when I look up at him. "That's all I could find," he admits, "open it."

Inside the birthday wrapping paper, tucked carefully into the love and care that Crew had put into the gift was a framed photo of the three of us from the Winter Festival. Crew and Ash smile brightly, Ash positioned on his broad shoulders, his cheeks rosy from the cold. My head is turned away from the camera, smile painfully wide as I stare up at the two of them with my arm wrapped around Crew's middle. Snow dances around us and the wind is pushing my hair in every direction, but it's the most perfect photo I've ever seen.

I brush my finger over the photo and look up at Crew to find him staring down at me. His freckle stained face and beautiful hazel eyes watching carefully as I inspect the gift carefully. I hold the frame up and smile.

When I do, I feel something taped to the back, and flip it in my palms.

"What's this?" I ask him, but he just raises an eyebrow and silently urges me to open it. I pull the paper free of the tape and hand him the frame, unfolding the paper to see that its enrollment forms for school, completely filled. "Crew," I whisper and look over at him.

"I'm not saying you have to do it- it's your choice- but I wanted to make sure that you knew you had one; a choice to finish school, a chance," he explained.

"But Ash…" I chew my lip.

"You have help now, you have me." His shoulders tense like I might reject his gift; he braces for impact but the collision never comes.

"It's perfect, Huckleberry," I coo and he inhales.

"It's not much," he says as his hand finds my hip.

"In comparison to every other gift you've given me in the last month, sure. But I have Ash, a chance at an education and a home." I look around and sink into his touch. "One without any holes in the walls. I have my sanity." I shrug and he laughs.

"That might be going too far." he kisses me, and his smile imprints on my cheek.

"Agree to disagree, grizzly bear."

"It's not much when you weigh it against all of those things but it's a reminder of all the things you gave me. Including this." I press my forehead against his chest and can feel his heart racing beneath the fabric and muscle. "You really screwed yourself if you think about it."

"Why's that, pretty girl?" He asks and I want to look up at him but the rhythm of his heart beat is steady and holds me in place.

"Because nothing can stack up against the heart of Crew Cassidy."

His lips press to the top of my head, I can feel his smile as it grows, and his grip around me tightens to bring me into his hug. Little feet on hardwood echo through the house as Ash wakes and barrels toward us with the duckling in tow. Crew breaks away and scoops him into his arms, resting him on his hip between us.

"Morning," I say, kissing his arm and staring at them both. "Merry Christmas."

Ash wiggles from Crew's arm when the realization hits that it's Christmas morning, flinging himself to the floor he takes off running. I go to follow but Crew grabs my fingers and spins me back to him to steal a long, needy kiss from my lips.

"You get your Christmas present later," I laugh against his mouth as his hands trace down the curves of my body to my hips.

"Is it good?" He asks.

"I don't know." I shrug. "Have you been naughty or nice?"

Crew growls and his grip on my hips tightens, "if I'm on the naughty list, what do I get?"

I back away and he reaches for me as I go, "Ash is staying with Julie."

That's all he needs for the lust to fill his eyes and a mischievous smile to spread across his face. He shakes his head and a tiny huff of frustration drips from him as he rakes his eyes down my legs.

He stalks toward me and I laugh as he stares down at me with a look that screams , impatient, but he would wait. Crew leans around me and grabs the hammer off the table behind me, winking as he slips the frame from my hand and turns to the blank wall that faces the living room.

Three quick bangs and a nail is in place. I slip my hand under his shirt against his back and stand close as he hangs the family photo on the wall.

"Does this mean you'll stop trying?" I ask as he steps back into my arms.

Crew glances from the photo of us to me, hazel eyes glittering with every ounce of hope and reassurance I never knew I needed until now.

"I'll never stop trying, pretty girl."