Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Amelia didn’t want to be at the ball. She wanted to be at home, hiding away in her little room and not have anyone bother her. But her parents were insistent that she attend, and Amelia couldn’t bring herself to tell them the reason why she didn’t want to go.

She couldn’t tell them about the bet and what Edmund had done to her. Amelia knew that she should, but that would just make things worse. Besides, she wanted to confront Edmund herself and get the answers before letting her father know that the son of a duke was not the man he expected to be a good husband for his daughter.

Downe was going to be upset about being duped like this. Amelia knew that Edmund wouldn’t get away from the fury. She needed to get the truth from him first before Edmund had to hide from the marquess’s anger.

As she stood at the edge of the room, watching the other guests mingle around, Amelia thought back over their interactions and how Edmund didn’t bat an eyelid when she attempted to force him away from her. Now she understood why he had stayed; he had to maintain the courtship until the bet was done. What he was to get out of it, Amelia didn’t know. And, if she was frank with herself, she didn’t care. The fact that Edmund had done this when she thought they were friends was bad enough.

She might have been working on a plan of her own, but knowing that Edmund had asked permission to court her because of a bet made her feel sick. She had feelings as well. Nobody deserved to be treated that way.

This was bigger than Amelia anticipated, and she wanted to get away from it. She didn’t want to be here, watching everyone carry on as normal. It made her feel like she was being observed. Did they all know about the bet? Were they laughing at her behind her back?

Amelia didn’t want to find out. She just wanted to be left alone.

Not wanting to be around anyone, Amelia left the room and began to explore the house. Her mother wouldn’t be too happy about her doing her usual routine again, but Amelia preferred it. It would help soothe her nerves and give her something to think about that wasn’t the bet. And it might help figure out what to say to Edmund if they crossed paths.

That happened sooner than she was prepared for, though, because Amelia saw him as soon as she entered the library. Edmund was sitting in a chair by the fire, hunched over with his head in his hands. Amelia froze, wondering why he was hiding away from everyone else. He couldn’t be waiting for her, could he?

She was about to leave, but then Edmund looked up and saw her. He sat up.

“Amelia.”

Amelia clenched her jaw. She wanted to scream at him and call him various names, but that would just draw attention. Keeping the door open, she moved into the room, holding onto the anger that had been bubbling away.

“I know about the bet. And I know you readily agreed to it.”

Edmund winced.

“I wouldn’t say I readily agreed…”

“But you still said you would court me until…what? What was the end result?”

Edmund looked like he would rather be somewhere else. He shifted to the edge of the cushions, his elbows on his knees. He wouldn’t look her in the eye.

“John and Harold—our other friend—would pay me. I know John would never part with money, so he was serious about it.”

“So you did it for money?” Amelia hated the taste in her mouth hearing that. “That’s just disgusting, Edmund. I may not be as proper as other ladies in the ton, but I know my self-worth.”

Edmund looked uncomfortable about it. Then he got to his feet, his expression saying that he was more than aware of how much trouble he was in.

“Look, it was all part of the bet in the beginning, I will admit that. It was fake, but I began to forget about it the longer I spent my time with you. I really…” He faltered, and then tried again. “I really do like you, Amelia. I think you and I are good together, and we get along well. We’ve had some fun times over the last few weeks, haven’t we?”

Amelia scowled.

“You think that we are good together? After what you’ve done? You arranged for your friend and that foul Colette Reed to confront me in public so you could come and rescue me, didn’t you?”

“No! I had nothing to do with that!”

“How am I going to believe you after what I’ve heard about you?” Amelia shot back. “I was set up for humiliation either way. It was going to happen sooner or later, wasn’t it?”

Edmund’s hesitation was enough for her. Amelia could feel the tears building. Her resolve was crumbling, and she couldn’t do it. She was going to lose her temper if she didn’t get out of there. Edmund, someone she considered a friend and was falling for, had betrayed her. He had used her for a bet.

The knowledge that she had been played was too much. Amelia could handle the usual ridicule, but this was something else.

Gathering all of her anger, Amelia decided to hit a few low blows of her own.

“I was using you as well, just so you know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t want to be courted by anyone. You knew my thoughts on courtship and marriage, and yet you decided to pursue me anyway. I wanted to say no that day, but I knew my father would keep bothering me and forcing me into something I didn’t want. So I decided to go along with it but make it hard for you to court me properly so you would walk away from me.”

Edmund stared at her.

“So that’s why you were behaving in such a strange way? The big hat, the stubborn horse…that was all to drive me away?”

“Yes. But because of your stupid bet, you still stayed around. At least I know the reason now.” Amelia smoothed her hands down her skirts, aware that she was trembling. “If you walked away from the courtship in displeasure, then I could pretend to be distraught, and Father would stop forcing me to find a husband. It would give me some breathing room, and I could get on with my life.”

Edmund looked like she had hit him over the head; his mouth opened in his shock. Amelia shook her head.

“I knew it was a gamble, especially when I am fond of your sister, but I wasn’t about to conform to what anyone else wanted. And it would have served you right for asking to court me when you knew my opinions on marriage. You would have gotten over it, and we could have moved on. But you were courting me for money? I think you’ve just made what I intended to do rather tame.”

“So you would have continued to try and humiliate me?” Edmund demanded.

“You don’t get to be on a high horse after what you did. I’m certainly not.” Amelia turned away. “I know what I did on my part was bad, but you’re not innocent in this, either. You put yourself into this mess, and the outcome would have been the same. I would have looked like a fool.”

“You could have just told your father that you weren’t going to allow me to court you!” Edmund protested. “It was that simple!”

“Nothing is that simple, Lord Silverwood.”

Amelia heard a noise behind her, but she didn’t turn around. She wasn’t going to entertain him any further, walking out of the library and turning left. If she could keep walking, she could get away from everyone and find a place that nobody would bother her in.

Then she would be able to burst into tears without anyone finding her.

***

“Can I have a word with you, Amelia?”

Amelia looked up from her book to see her father hovering near her. She had been so engrossed in what she had been reading that she hadn’t noticed him join her. And she had been hoping for some time away from everyone, especially her parents. The day before had been rather fraught for her.

She wanted to tell her father to leave, but Amelia knew he would keep coming back until she gave in. Sighing, she nodded.

“All right. What is it, Father?”

Downe sat on the grass beside her and stretched out his legs. For a while, neither of them spoke, Amelia wanting to go back to her book but aware that it would be rude to her father. After a while, Downe spoke, leaning back on his hands as he stared across the garden.

“Your mother and I are still not happy with you. Or with the entire situation.”

“I did say that I didn’t want to be forced into courtship, Father.”

“I would say that you should have insisted further, but that’s what you’ve been doing since the beginning. We would have just gone around in circles.”

Amelia grunted.

“At least you understand that part,” she muttered.

Downe frowned at her. But he continued as if she hadn’t spoken.

“I shouldn’t have forced you into that. We should have anticipated that you might try something. We were pushing you away, and neither of us realized it. And I apologize for that.”

Amelia blinked.

“You’re apologizing?”

“Yes. It was our fault that this happened. If we had listened to you in the beginning, this wouldn’t have happened.” Downe sighed. “We just want the best for you, that’s all. We love you, and we want to make sure you’re looked after.”

“Father, I can look after myself,” Amelia pointed out. “I know you think men should be the ones in charge when it comes to women, but you know I’m independent.”

“I understand that, and I keep forgetting that you’re more than competent.” The marquess sat up, rubbing his eyes. “I apologize for putting you in that position.”

“You didn’t know that it was going to happen.”

“Also, your mother and I think it would be a good idea to let you leave London for a while. Just until everything dies down,” he added quickly as Amelia began to protest. “We’re away from the main streets here, but I think you deserve to have some quiet as well. We could go to the Lake District and spend some time at the house we have there. Your mother thinks this would be a good idea for all of us.”

Leave London for a while. Amelia had thought about it briefly, but she didn’t want to make it appear as if she was running away. But it sounded enticing, and she knew that it would be a good idea to put space between her and Edmund to get things in a more concise manner in her head. This was too much for her.

And it had been a while since they had been to the Lake District.

Then Amelia remembered what her father had said and peered at him curiously.

“But what about you wanting me to find a husband? You said that you needed that to be a priority of mine.”

Downe winced.

“I know I did, but after everything that’s happened, I think we can revisit that conversation another time. How does that sound?”

Amelia straightened up. But then she was immediately wary about that.

“What would you class as ‘another time’?” she asked. “A couple of weeks or a few months?”

“I was thinking we can discuss this again when you’re…twenty-one?” Downe shrugged. “You’re still young, and it gives you a chance to do what you want. I would like you to settle down with someone, but I’m willing to wait a bit.”

Amelia had hoped that she would hear those words since she came of age and had to enter Society properly, but now it felt like a strange dream. Downe actually said that he would wait and let her have her freedom?

Blinking back tears—Amelia hated that she seemed to cry so much over the last week since she confronted Edmund at the ball—she leaned over and hugged her father, almost knocking him over.

“Careful!”

“Forgive me.” Amelia sat back and managed a smile at her father. “Thank you. I do appreciate that.”

“We’ve not been looking after you properly, and this will be the best decision for all of us.” Downe gestured towards the house. “Besides, your mother needs time away from London to calm down. She wants to go and confront the Duke and Duchess of Blackwood about their son’s actions, and I know she wants to give Lady Colette Reed another scolding. Maybe we should distract her in another part of the country.”

Amelia couldn’t help but giggle at that.

“Maybe we should let her go and confront those she needs to. I know there’s a long list.”

“I think we should maintain our composure, somewhat. You know your mother can get really angry, and her words are sharper than a sword when she’s like that.”

Amelia knew that, and part of her wanted to let that happen. She certainly wanted it directed at Lady Colette and Lord Sutton. But Edmund had looked wretched when she last saw him, indicating that he knew the weight of his own actions. Much as she was still upset with him, Amelia didn’t want him to deal with that.

She loved him enough to keep him away from her mother’s ire.

A knot tightened in Amelia’s stomach. She had come to that conclusion about her feelings the morning after the ball, and it made her feel awful. How was it possible that she could be in love with someone who treated her like that?

Not that it was ever going to happen. She might be able to forgive him again, but could she trust him? Amelia didn’t know about that.

Space from him would be helpful. She would be able to figure things out properly.