3. How To Jinx Yourself

Joey pulled out his phone,about to tell his friends that a stranger knew about the safe house.

"You have my number," Blade said dryly. "It's on the group chat."

Was that why his name had sounded familiar? Joey hurriedly opened up the large group chat with his friends and their boyfriends, and their boyfriends' friends.

Telos

Things have been quiet lately. Too quiet.

Mav

Shut up. Don't jinx it.

Blade

I'm being called to Ess-Mart right now. Public disturbance.

Yaeger

Telos totally jinxed it.

Telos

They should've just called it Ass-Mart instead of spelling it all coy. A-S-S, not E-S-S!

Mav

What are you, ten?

Onyx

I'm just happy it doesn't smell like the entire town's asses.

Telos

Just your own, right?

Onyx

What.

Doc

Wasn't this chat meant for IMPORTANT news?

Telos

Ass smells are important.

I bet Mav's stinks

Mav

Yeah, sure, you're welcome to take a whiff

Telos

Fuck off

Valor

We've reserved front row seats for the day you guys finally explode all over each other.

Telos

Ew

Mav

Finally something I agree with.

"Um," Joey said cleverly. "What's up with Telos and Mav?"

Blade sighed. "We have a betting pool. Yaeger started it. We've each named the location and position in which they're finally going to screw each other's brains out. Every so often, one of us gets a new idea and throws more money into the pool. It's about sixty entries long now."

Joey's mouth fell open. "Sixty? I haven't been around long, but... Do you think it'll actually happen?"

Mav and Telos were two muscular guys, both alpha types. Telos loved grand entrances as a pterodactyl; no one else appreciated his dinosaur appearances, though. And he seemed to get on Mav's nerves all the time.

Blade's mouth curved into a handsome smirk. "They've been at this for years. It's bound to happen sooner than later."

"Years? How have they not died of blue balls?" Joey asked, aghast.

Blade shrugged as he killed the engine. "We think they're aiming for their balls to fall off before anything happens. Go ahead and open the front door, will you?"

Joey eyed him. "How can I be sure this isn't some elaborate, nefarious plan to infiltrate the safe house?"

Blade's smirk widened. "I like how you think. But I could've just stolen you and Katie and made off instead of going to all this trouble."

That took a while to understand. "You'd steal me?"

Blade flicked a glance at Katie. "Why steal the golden egg, when you can take the goose laying them?"

"Oh, gods!" Joey tried really hard not to think about Blade putting a baby inside him, but it was difficult after what they'd talked about earlier.

"You agree?" Blade laughed.

"I... That's... That's evil!"

"Isn't that what you'd do?"

Joey bit his lip. Actually, yeah. Stealing the baby-maker made the most sense. "I-I'm, um, I'm going to open the door."

It wasn't until he had one leg out of the car, that he realized—"Why're you talking about stealing me when you're a cop?"

Blade's laugh was rumbling and loud, and it made all of Joey's insides squirm.

He hurried all the way to the front door, where he cooed at the lock. "Hey, it's me. I have a visitor today."

The jagged edges of the keyhole turned into a smile, and Joey inserted his key.

Scarcely had he opened the door when he found an empty shopping cart lurking by the patrol car. Joey sucked in a breath and hurried back to greet it. "Hey! Did you follow us all the way here from Ess-Mart?"

The shopping cart squeaked its wheels like a dog wagging its tail, and Joey's heart swelled. "Aww, that's so nice of you," he said, rubbing its handle. "Why don't you head around to the back of the house? There's plenty of space for you there."

The cart rattled its flap and careened off. Joey looked fondly after it.

Maybe, now that he had a place to stay, maybe he could build a collection of shopping carts again?

Blade stepped out of the house, one eyebrow raised.

"I like shopping carts," Joey said defensively.

Blade shrugged. "Nothing wrong with that."

Joey helped him carry the second load of groceries into the house, kissing Katie on the temple when she tried to peek at the crinkling bags.

The moment he crossed the threshold of the safe house, he realized he shouldn't have let Blade inside.

He'd been terrible at caring for Katie. Every single piece of furniture was singed in some way—char marks on the table legs, black spots on the floor, sooty patches on the ceilings where smoke from burning furniture had left stains.

Several times, while Joey or Samsen had been watching Katie, she'd laughed and burped and accidentally set something alight.

Samsen had helped by leaving buckets of water around the house, but that had only begun after they'd been caught off guard a few times, and one side of the couch had burned into something unrecognizable.

If Blade had known Telos and Mav for years, then he probably also knew what the safe house had looked like before Joey moved in.

Joey cringed and couldn't look Blade in the eye.

"Need help putting away the groceries?" Blade asked.

Surprised, Joey gaped at him. "That's it? You're not gonna ask about..."

He waved at the scorch marks on the kitchen cabinets.

Blade flicked his gaze at Katie. "You should've said something sooner. Some of us have experience dealing with fire."

Did he... know what she was?

"It wasn't Katie," Joey yelped.

One thick eyebrow went up. "Are you saying it was you?"

"Um. Yes?"

"You went down on your hands and knees breathing fire at the cabinets before putting them out?"

"I go down on my hands and knees for a lot of things," Joey blurted, and clapped his hands over his burning face. "I meant. Uh. To scrub the floor."

Blade snorted, but his eyes had darkened again. "Sure. Let's go with that."

He began putting the food away. Joey couldn't help watching the way Blade's biceps flexed, the way his uniform pants stretched over his ass when he bent to tuck the cold things into the fridge.

With muscles like that, Blade's thrusts would be deep and hard, wouldn't they?

"Ba wa wa," Katie said, breaking Joey out of his thoughts.

He looked up wistfully to find Blade watching him.

"I need to, um, feed her," Joey mumbled.

"And I have to get back to work." Blade's smile was lopsided. "I'll come over tonight?"

Joey's insides squeezed. Oh, gods! "Um. M-maybe?"

Why did Blade's smile have to get more and more handsome?

"Don't touch the cucumber unless I'm there," Blade murmured. "That requires supervision."

"D-do you mean m-my cucumber, or yours?"

Blade smirked. "The one in the fridge."

"Oh." Joey gulped.

Blade nodded at him, turning like he was about to head for the front door. Then he changed his mind and came over, towering over Joey, his sheer presence stealing Joey's breath.

Blade cradled Joey's face in his hot, calloused hands. It felt so good, being touched.

"More tonight," Blade murmured. He brushed his thumb over Joey's lips like the ghost of a kiss.

Before Joey could react, Katie turned to Blade, reaching for him.

Blade sucked in a slow breath, looking surprised. He met Joey's eyes. "Okay if I hold her for a second?"

"I-I guess," Joey said.

He fumbled open the chest carrier and checked that she didn't have any scaly body parts sticking out. Then he carefully handed her over, and Blade took her so easily into his arms.

Katie beamed. She waved her hands and kicked happily in Blade's arms.

She'd never taken to someone else that quickly before. Joey stared, feeling a little betrayed because he was the one who'd slowly won her trust after he'd stolen her from her kidnappers.

Blade didn't even have to do anything. Just hold her.

Blade caught the look on his face, raising an eyebrow. "You want her back?"

"No, I just—" Joey bit his lip. He couldn't tell Blade why he felt like this, without going into everything else. "She likes you a lot."

"Jealous?" Blade grinned.

"Yes." Joey pouted.

Blade's expression softened. He shifted Katie into one arm, then pulled Joey against himself in a hug, and—

Okay, Joey could see why Katie was so happy. Because Blade's hug felt like bliss, warmth and safety all wrapped around him.

In Blade's embrace, he felt cared for, protected. Like he had someone to lean on if things got too difficult.

It helped that Blade had smushed Joey's face into his chest, and it was solid like the rest of his uniform-clad body.

After all the running he'd been doing for the past few months, Blade's hug felt like relief.

Joey's knees weakened a little.

Blade held him for a bit longer. Then he rubbed Joey's back. "I do have to go," he rumbled apologetically. "Break's up."

Joey sprang away, flushing. "Sorry."

"Nah. It's okay." Blade angled a smile at him, handing Katie back. "She's a cute one."

"Yeah. Thanks." Joey turned Katie around to face Blade. "Say bye," he told her, waving her hand at Blade. "Bye bye, Mr. Policeman."

Blade laughed, his eyes crinkling. Joey's breath snagged.

"Bye, Katie." Blade wriggled his fingers.

Then he left, shutting the front door behind him, and the entire house felt so empty.

"Dammit," Joey murmured.

The patrol car door slammed. The engine purred to life, muffled by the walls, and after a while, it faded away.

Joey sighed, turning Katie around to look her in the eye. "What do you think of him?"

She smiled gummily, sticking her whole hand in her mouth.

"I think he'd be a good dad," he said.

He wanted to burrow into Blade's arms. He also... wanted to know what Blade was like, if he were trying to put a baby into someone. Like Joey.

Joey shuddered, shoving that thought away as quickly as it had come up. He didn't have enough resources for one child, much less two.

"He'll probably not come back after tonight," he said to Katie.

But one night would still be amazing, right? No one had wanted Joey before.

Tonight was going to go great.

Except it never happened.

Right around thetime Samsen announced that he was coming back to the safe house with his boss Valor, Blade texted.

Joey's pulse skipped as he opened the message.

Blade

Hey, Joey. I'm having to pull an extra shift tonight. One of my officers needs someone to cover for him urgently. I'm sorry.

Joey stared at the words, his heart sinking. But what could he do, really? If he threw a hissy fit, it'd totally turn Blade off.

Joey

It's okay. Thanks for the groceries.

Blade

I really am sorry for getting your hopes up.

Joey

Tomorrow?

Blade

I'll be there.

That was good enough. Blade was a cop. He had responsibilities. Joey was jobless and kind of a criminal. He could wait.

He made sure Katie was still asleep, before slipping into his bedroom.

Tomorrow... Blade would be here. In his bed. He'd... Would he get naked? Would he strip Joey's clothes off and press him down against the mattress? Maybe touch him all over?

Joey bit his lip, sinking shakily onto the mattress. He shoved his hand down the front of his pants and thought about Blade's mouth on his, kissing down his neck, sucking on his nipples. And further down yet.

And... Joey wanted to touch. He wanted to know what Blade's pecs felt like. Whether he had defined abs. And how big his cock was when he was fully hard.

A whimper slipped out of his throat.

Just because he was a virgin didn't mean he had no fantasies. Mostly, they were what he'd seen in porn. But Blade...

Blade was a whole other level of hot. Joey wanted the man to hold him down, to push his legs open and touch between his cheeks.

He whimpered as he reached behind and rubbed his hole. He hadn't gone in before. Hadn't really dared to.

He imagined Blade's large fingers pushing into him, stretching him and hungrily taking what he had to offer. He imagined Blade turning him over onto all fours.

Joey kicked off his pants and lay on his front, spreading himself so he felt the cool air on his hole. He ached. He needed to be held down, he needed to be owned and claimed and touched, Blade's teeth on his skin, his cock pushing between Joey's cheeks.

Blade was going to be too big. Joey just knew it. But he wanted it anyway; he wanted to be stretched open, that bare cock thrusting inside him. He wanted to feel every inch, he wanted Blade to pin him and make him scream.

And... And maybe Blade could tie him down at some point? So he was all ready to be bred.

Maybe Blade would breed him several times. Leave more and more of his cum inside Joey's body, until it dripped out of his hole.

Joey shuddered, panting into the sheets. Did Blade have a knot? Would he keep his cock inside for as long as he could? Until he was ready to go again? Then he'd keep on pumping into Joey, using his cum as lube and giving him more, until it overflowed.

Joey imagined Blade rubbing cum all over his thighs, over his hole and his belly and his cock, and he came so hard, he couldn't breathe.

When he'd gotten some air back into his lungs, Joey glanced at his phone. He took a picture of the mess he'd made on his bed, but didn't send it.

He didn't dare to. Would Blade really want to see it? He was at work, too. So Joey shouldn't distract him.

Joey tidied everything and opened the windows to air out his bedroom.

He did send Blade another text, though.

Joey

I hope your evening is going ok.

Blade

Busy, but that's normal.

Joey

Valor's coming over, Samsen's bringing him here. I think they're going to do bedroom stuff.

Blade

(whistles) You gonna be jealous?

Joey

I think so (sad emoji)

Blade

I'll make it up to you.

Why would he, though, when they weren't... anything? They'd just met today at Ess-Mart, and Joey had almost face-planted in his crotch.

Even though Joey was starting to really like that man, it didn't make sense that Blade saw anything good in him.

He sighed, going to sit with Katie.

Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

That night,Samsen brought his boss Valor to the safe house. Immediately after, someone tried to break in.

It was a good thing Valor was there. Valor chased the would-be invader away, and cleared the area around the house.

Then he and Samsen disappeared into Samsen's bedroom.

It didn't take long for the sounds to bleed through the walls.

"V-Valor," Samsen moaned.

Joey froze in the middle of scrolling through his social media feed, trying not to think about what they were doing.

It was hard, though. Samsen didn't stop moaning. He mewled and whined and his voice went high, and Joey groaned, scrubbing his face with his hands.

That could've been me,he thought. Blade could've been here, and we could've been doing that exact same thing.

Valor rumbled and growled. Samsen's voice went high, breaking over and over. Then came the sounds of slapping flesh.

Joey groaned, shuffling closer to Katie and Mazie, Samsen's baby. "Hey, maybe the three of us can have a chat."

Both babies watched him curiously, which didn't help to block out the sounds. Joey pulled up the chat on his phone.

Joey

They're being really loud (sad emoji)

Blade

Do you wish that was us?

Joey

Yes (sad emoji)

Blade

I'll make you come so hard

Joey

Oh gods, I can't talk about that right now. I'm on babysitting duty

Blade

Oops. Sorry. How bout I tell you about my day? There were so many calls that every single officer on patrol was busy. I had to climb two trees to rescue four cats

Joey

Four cats???

Blade

Yup. I don't actually like climbing trees. Do you?

Joey

Me neither

Blade

Once upon a time, I climbed a tree with two mountain lions in it

Joey

TWO??

Blade

There were no cameras back then, or I would've taken a picture

Joey

How did you not die?!

Blade

As unbelievable as it sounds, I made friends with them.

Joey

That's actually really cool

Blade

I've got plenty more stories if you want to listen...

Joey

Yes please. Anything so I don't have to hear more sex

Blade

Ha. Well, sit tight. Here goes nothing...

Blade called earlythe next morning.

Joey fumbled his phone in surprise and dropped it, before hurriedly swiping to take the call. "Hello?"

There came a deep sigh, Blade's voice rumbling in Joey's ear like he was right there. "Fuck, I didn't want to disappoint you two days in a row. But I can't make it tonight, either. That officer I was covering for yesterday? He's in the hospital, and I'm having to take up extra shifts to help out."

A whimper fell out of Joey's mouth before he could stop it. "It's okay if you, um. If you've changed your mind."

"No, it's not. I keep my promises. I... I wanted to make the cucumber good for you."

Joey squeaked, his face burning.

"I just got home," Blade said, his voice kind of tired. "I took a shower and I'm going to crash soon. What I could do is come over for fifteen minutes, and get you off real quick. But that's not what I want. What I want is to take you apart, a bit at a time, until you're shaking and panting and drenched for me. I want you so ready that the moment I slide my cock inside you, you'll come so hard, you scream."

Heat swooped between Joey's legs, hot and hungry like a beast. "Oh, f-fuck."

"I want your first time to be good. I want you to think back on it with a smile."

How was it possible that Blade talking about sex made Joey feel all warm and fuzzy inside? This man was too good to be true.

Then again, he probably just wanted the one time with Joey. I shouldn't get my hopes up.

Once was still a lot more than Joey had ever gotten.

"I, um, I thought about you yesterday," Joey mumbled.

"Yeah?" Blade's voice dipped. "What did you think about?"

Joey whined, his face growing so hot, it felt like his skin would melt off. "Um, y-you in my—my room."

"Mmm." Joey could almost imagine Blade licking his lips. "What were we wearing in there?"

"Nothing," Joey said quietly. He was so mortified. "I've never done this before."

Except Blade's hum deepened into a chest-rumble, and the sound lit up all of Joey's nerves.

He'd made Blade sound like that.

"You're doing good," Blade growled. "Keep talking. What were we doing in your room?"

"Y-you were on top of me." Joey slumped onto his bed, burying his face in the covers. "T-touching everything. Oh, gods."

"Yeah? You like that?" Blade grunted like he was sitting down, and fabric rustled in the background. "Where would you like to be touched?"

Joey moaned. "My, um. Between my..."

"Between your legs? Want me to grab your thighs and spread you open real wide? Is that what you're saying?"

Joey's breath rushed out of him. He squirmed out of his pants, opening his legs and pretending Blade was right there, looking between them.

It was a good thing Samsen and Valor had already left the safe house. Katie was napping in the living room, and Joey had mostly shut his door, keeping it cracked so he'd hear Katie if she needed him.

"Getting shy, Joey?" Blade murmured. "Are you touching yourself?"

A soft, embarrassed sound fell out of Joey's mouth, even as his fist tightened around his cock. "Yes."

"Mmm. So am I. You've gotten me so big and hard for you."

Joey squirmed, his hole getting wet. "Oh, gods."

"I'm not wearing anything right now."

Joey began panting. It was almost too much, knowing that somewhere in Cartfalls, Blade was stroking himself, completely naked, thinking about Joey. His cock all thick and... ready. His voice broke. "I... I need."

"Want a picture of it?" Blade whispered.

"Oh, gods." Joey made a soft, helpless sound. "Yes."

"Mm. Okay."

Joey squirmed on the bed, shucking off his shirt, too. So he was completely naked, pretending Blade was there with him. Touching him.

"Want me to touch your pretty cock?" Blade growled in his ear. "Squeeze it a little, play with your tip. Rub you there until you leak."

Joey did exactly as Blade said he would, pretending his hand was Blade's. He moaned and squirmed. "I-I'm leaking."

"Mmm, fuck. From where? Your cock? Or your tight little hole?"

"B-both." Joey's face kept burning and burning.

"You know I'm imagining you on your bed, right?" Blade rasped, his voice alone making Joey's cock throb. "Your precum dripping everywhere, your tight hole smeared with slick. Ready for me."

Joey tingled in those spots—his cock, his hole. "Wh-what're you gonna do to me?"

"I'll touch every part of you first." There was a wet noise, like Blade was licking his lips. "Your lips, your neck. I'll massage your scalp. Play with your nipples a little, see if I can make you squirm. Then I'll open your legs wide and rub your cock nice and slow, make you come."

"Y-you make everything sound so good," Joey whimpered as he gripped himself tight. "This is e-even better than last night."

"Good." Blade growled. "You won't be closing your legs at all when I'm there. They'll stay open. I want your hole ready for me."

Precum shot out of Joey. He writhed and panted, stroking himself furiously. "I n-need you inside me," he blurted, then squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment. "Oh, gods, I can't believe I said that."

Blade groaned. "I need to know what you want, Joey. So I can make things good for you. I'll have to get you some toys. Use them to stretch you slowly, until you can take my cock. Fuck. It's dripping and so damn hard, so eager to open you up."

"You said you'd send a picture!"

Blade's laugh was low and toe-curling. "We're getting there." And in a lower voice, "I'll touch your tight little hole ‘til you're moaning and squirming for me. Until you're quivering and desperate to be stretched open."

Joey moaned, his balls writhing. He needed Blade on top of him, rubbing his cock between his cheeks. "Please, please."

"I'll start slow, you know," Blade growled. "Before the toys. Rub your hole nice and good, ease one finger inside. Get you used to it, then I'll put in another one. I'll find your prostate and make you come so hard just by massaging it."

Joey sobbed with how much he needed Blade on top of him. He felt hot all over, his hole squeezing as he imagined Blade pushing inside. "I need you."

"Fuck." Blade groaned. "After my fingers, I'll open you up with a toy. Something smaller than me to get your pretty ass used to being stretched. Then we'll get you open further. And when you're finally ready for my cock, I'll nail your prostate with it, good and hard.. Fuck you till you scream and come, and come again."

Joey came hard all over his hand, his moan choking off.

"Yeah? You like that, huh?" Blade's breathing came faster. "You like the thought of my cock deep inside your pretty ass. Fucking you senseless."

"I still need you inside," Joey whimpered.

His phone buzzed.

"I sent you a picture," Blade whispered. "Look at it now."

Joey fumbled with his phone, opening the text message. He dropped his phone.

Blade's cock was big and red, completely wet at the tip. He'd wrapped his large hand around his base like he was trying to hold it back because it looked so hungry. Like it was going to bury deep inside Joey the moment it got a chance.

"Oh, fuck," Joey whined, his cock aching. "It's not gonna fit."

"We'll make it fit," Blade promised. "I'll hold you down, and make it fit."

Joey came again, his balls writhing, his hole dripping and painfully empty. "Fuck, fuck," he whimpered.

"Don't take your hand off," Blade growled, his breathing ragged. "Keep it on there. Keep stroking."

"But—" Joey squirmed. "It's getting sensitive."

"I want you to come another time for me. Can you do that?"

"Y-yes." Joey flushed hot. He could, but he usually didn't because he made more and more noise with each release.

"Good. I'd use my own hand if I were there." Blade was panting now, and in the background, there came the wet, rhythmic sounds of him stroking his own cock. "I'll treat your pretty ass so good. Kiss it and lick it. Rub my tip all over your hole, get you used to my size. Cover you in precum. Then I'll push in every single inch and let you feel what it's like to take a big cock."

Joey moaned. He wished fervently that Blade was there with him. That Blade was inside him right now, his red, hungry cock stretching Joey open, easing in until it was completely buried.

"I'll bend you over," Blade panted in his ear. "Hitch your ass up high so I can see your tight little hole sucking around my cock. Ready to receive my cum."

Joey choked on air, his cock pulsing at the sound of Blade's voice. Blade's need.

"You like that? Presenting your sweet little ass for me? Letting me plow you open?"

Just like that, Joey was squirming again, his hips jerking so his cock shoved into his fist. "Please, please."

"I'll pull out completely to see how much I've stretched you," Blade groaned. "Then I'll hold you down and feed my cock back inside, inch by inch. Fill up your tight virgin hole. You won't be a virgin anymore, Joey. You'll be stuffed full of my cock, and you'll scream and come so hard, you won't stop coming for a while."

Joey came again. He couldn't help himself.

"Fuck, your breathing," Blade hissed. "So fucking sexy. Panting and gasping like you need more."

Joey sobbed. "I do. I need you."

Blade stopped talking. There was only harsh breathing on his end, then a long, rumbling groan.

Joey buried his face in the sheets, his ears burning.

He'd done that. He'd made Blade come.

Both of them were quiet for a while, with just the sounds of breathing across the line.

"I'm going to sleep really fucking well after this," Blade rumbled. "Was that good for you?"

"Y-yeah. It's... It was my first time talking to anyone like that. It was so good." Joey pulled his pillow over his head, self-conscious again.

"You did really well," Blade said warmly. "I'm glad you let me have this first of yours."

Joey was so thankful Blade couldn't see the way his face burned. If everything went his way, he'd give all his firsts to Blade.

I'm crushing on him, aren't I?Joey grimaced and buried his head deeper under the pillow. I shouldn't be so dependent on him. He can't find out about Katie.

Blade's breathing evened out, growing slower. "I'm going to call it a night. Or a morning. Put my number on speed dial. Call if you get in trouble. I'll come."

Joey flushed. "But what if you're sleeping?"

"I'll wake up. Your safety is more important than my sleep, Joey."

And there Joey's heart went, skipping all over again.

He probably does this for everyone with a baby,Joey told himself. He's a policeman. Don't get your hopes up.

"Okay," Joey said softly.

"Those guys in Ess-Mart were after you, weren't they?" Blade murmured, sleep creeping in around his words. "It's why you were hiding with Katie instead of sticking with the other shoppers."

"I don't know," Joey lied. "Maybe they wanted to steal a large flat-screen TV?"

Blade snorted. "Valor said someone was trying to get into the safe house last night. Don't forget that there were people chasing you down, is why we put you there in the first place."

"I guess," Joey mumbled.

"We'll talk more when I'm awake. Don't get in trouble."

"I'll try not to."

Blade huffed. Joey hung on to the call, all the way until it disconnected.