11. Rue

Rue

I had a nightmare last night about the little boy that was Koa in the darkness. He didn't look like him. Not really. He was five, at best. Small. No tattoos. No piercings. All well and good—as a five-year-old should appear. But what really concerned me was the darkness that was consuming him.

His eyes were matte black. They looked almost alien. The skin under his eyes was black, like he hadn't slept in months. I could see black veins in his neck, running up into his hairline. His fingertips were black, and it seeped further up his hands, his arms.

It was consuming him.

Then there was the thing behind him. All teeth and snarls and hunger. The little boy stood between me and it, as if to create a barrier. As if that small child could stop the massive beast of darkness behind him.

I knew I was looking at Koa. I also knew he was battling his monster. While I wasn't completely sure about him and his monster, I got the distinct impression he was failing.

In hindsight, I should have been terrified. But my only concerns were the fear I could see in Koa, and how to reassure him he was going to be okay. He wasn't alone and he didn't have to fight by himself.

I wasn't sure if I was dreaming of the fear staring out of me from that child's face or the beast behind him. But I must have dreamed about those first few moments three different times last night.

Coming home to find the path of death leading straight to our front door might have caused some concern and anxiety, too. Finding the giant black hole in the living room was downright unnerving. Every worst-case scenario jumped into my head—we'd been found, we were targeted, someone was hurt, I was too late.

Even without knowing a lot about voids, I knew it could only be Koa once I stepped inside and saw what awaited me. Unicorns were a pastel death monster and foukes were dark, faceless, swamp monsters with horns. But a void was just what their name suggested—a void.

My husbands were not happy I'd stepped into Koa's monster like that. Once Calix brought Koa out and laid down with him to take a nap, Javan and Bryn told me all the reasons I shouldn't have stepped into Koa's void.

Which I understood. They were scared. Koa was a danger to everyone, including them and himself. And that was knowing Koa and his monster loved them. They barely knew me.

The buzzer made me jump and I turned for the oven. With mitts on my hands, I opened it and pulled out the casserole dish. Setting it on a trivet, I shut the door and changed the temperature to preheat to fifty degrees hotter for the next dish.

Then I turned to look at the island. There were half a dozen hot dishes and just as many cold ones. When I reached a point where my head was clogged with far too many things to think about and they all felt heavy, I lost myself in something sensible. Like cooking.

I'd made a feast. I thought we were going to have to invite people over or something. There was a lot of food here. Yep, I'd gone overboard.

Saar was right. I needed to let go of the guilt. But it wasn't just guilt. Like Koa, I felt like I should have an answer to offer. In a way that was entirely different and yet remarkably the same, I was in a key position to be able to offer something.

Something big. Something that could change this war. The big answer they'd been waiting for. Something only we could provide given our circumstances.

Yet, it was just out of our grasp. We wanted it so badly we could taste it. But try as we might and with as much desperation as we felt… there was nothing. Just… nothing.

Sighing, I turned back again when the oven buzzed and added the last dish I'd prepared to bake. Then I set the timer and contemplated if I'd worked off enough steam or if I needed to work on something else.

"Wow."

I glanced at the door to see Javan standing there, looking at all the food I'd prepared.

"Are you hungry?"

"No," I said, laughing. "When I get stressed, I cook."

Javan gave me a soft look and crossed the kitchen, taking me in his arms and hugging me to his chest. "You've already given us more new information than we could even hope for."

"Yes, but was it useful?"

"Yes," Javan insisted, though I didn't necessarily agree with that. The things I said only solidly implied my family was involved with Silence. It didn't offer us anything else.

He pressed his lips to mine. I sighed, leaning more heavily into him. When our kisses started to get heavier, I pushed him away a little. "What's in the oven cooks quickly. I only have like three minutes left."

Javan sighed, rolling his eyes but not hiding his smile. I kissed him quickly and then backed away. It would be far too easy to get carried away with this man, my gorgeous husband .

I busied myself by cleaning the kitchen. Javan helped, though he brushed against me far more often than was necessary. I tried not to smile about it. Little touches and soft kisses. His hard, hot body pressed against mine as if it were required when reaching for something.

The buzzer went off just as I had most of the food moved off the island so it wasn't taking up the area we tended to eat on. I pulled the last dish out and set it with the others before turning off the oven.

And then Javan was there again. I could feel his heat on my back before he touched me. His hands were a gentle touch against my waist, tucking under my tank and slowly pulling it up. His knuckles grazed my skin as he went.

Flushing, I lifted my hands so he could pull it over my head. He dropped it, following down the length of my arms with his caress, his lips hot on the bare skin of my shoulder. Down my ribs, my waist, to my hips once again. This time, he pushed my pants down. They crested my hips, then fell freely to the floor.

He feathered soft kisses along my shoulder before urging me to turn around, where Javan captured my mouth in a hot kiss. I welcomed the heat that consumed me from his touch, his hands still moving smoothly over my skin. The air made my skin turn to gooseflesh and my nipples hard.

For a time, we stayed like this, kissing and touching, letting it warm our bodies thoroughly. Javan held me to him. Feeling his warmth spread through me, filling me with comfort I couldn't manage to bring myself. He slowly drowned out all the tension and aggravation from not being able to give something vital to help them stop Silence.

It faded to something in the back of my mind, until all I could think about was his touch on me.

Javan's hands dropped to my ass and he hauled me against him, our hips tight together. His throbbing length was pressed between us, against my pelvis and up along my navel. I tried very hard not to think about it. Because I wanted the sweet moment, the comfort he was offering.

Minutes passed before one of his hands dropped from my ass cheek. It slid down to my thigh, then up again, petting me. When he dropped it to my thigh again, he shifted so his leg pressed between mine, gently urging them apart.

I swallowed, closing my eyes as I let him spread my legs a little, trying not to be so needy at this moment. It wasn't lost on me that I was naked and he was still dressed, though neither of us did anything to change it. This time as his hand drifted, it didn't go to my thigh but between us and down. Almost as if he were following the length of his hard dick, a thought that had me smirking against his lips. His touch was gentle, soft, just touching me. Feeling my lips and tracing the slit from its apex down, as far as he could reach.

His touch was teasing. Maybe he was just exploring, but my body felt like it had been put in the oven and I was ready to cool down. Or burn hotter, but this teasing burn was going to have to progress one way or another.

Pulling my mouth from his, I looked up into his eyes. His smile was soft, even as the heat in his eyes changed that beautiful brown to deep, dark chocolate. He kissed my cheek, the corner of my lips, and then his finger pressed between my folds, making me suck in a breath.

"I—"

He put his mouth to my ear, his finger pressing in and out my heat, brushing over my clit, making my entire body jump. "Tell me what you want, wife."

I nodded. "I want more. I want you to…"

His finger moved. Pressed inside me, stroking my hot flesh. I moaned, a shiver running over my skin. Just one finger he urged in deeper, exploring my sex and heat.

He kissed my neck, sucking on my flesh. I arched my back, wanting more. Encouraging more without managing to say the words. Wanting him to keep on doing what he was doing .

"Javan," I panted.

His chuckle was low. A sexy sound that rushed through me and made my walls clench around him. "You like that?" He pushed another finger into me.

My head fell against his chest as I groaned. "Yes." My legs shook.

"You're so soft. So wet." He stroked me, pushing his fingers inside, but using the heel of his palm to rub against my clit.

Javan moved, putting a little space between us as if he was trying to watch as he pleasured me. It made me flush.

"You're going to come soon, aren't you?"

I nodded. I didn't think I could speak.

"Do you want me to make you come?"

"Yes," I whispered.

He pulled his fingers out of me, and I protested with a glare, reaching for his wrist. Chuckling, Javan pulled away from me. He ran a hand along my stomach, fingers pulling on my nipples before gripping my hips and setting me on the countertop. The one I'd just cleaned all the food from. The island that we all ate at. My cheeks heated.

The stone was cold against my skin, making my body shudder. I wrapped my hand around his cock, giving it one long stroke. He was hard and thick and long. Ridged with sexy veins and dripping pre-cum.

I stroked him, my hand sliding along his shaft, savoring his moan. The way his eyes closed and his lips parted. I watched his expressions as I continued to touch him. Slowly. Teasing. Just as he had been me.

He groaned as I explored his dick, his hands running down my arms and over my thighs.

When he opened his eyes, he took my face in his hands as he kissed me. His tongue thrust into my mouth as I learned what he liked. The way the skin moved over his cock. How his balls jumped sometimes. His cock twitched as I moved my hand to his pre-cum covered head rubbing the wetness along his shaft.

He broke the kiss as he pressed me backward until I was stretched along the cold countertop, forcing me to remove my hand from around him. He trailed wet kisses over my body where he could reach, sucking and nipping along the way. The metal of his piercings around his mouth was warm, but I could feel them very distinctly. A different kind of smooth touch, harder with less give against my skin.

My stomach muscles danced as he kissed his way south. His mouth was still on my flesh as he dropped his face between my legs. I gripped his hair, wanting to see his face. His eyes flickered up to mine and he smiled against my skin.

The moment his tongue trailed over the lips of my pussy, I leaned my head back onto the counter, trying to catch my breath. My whole body tightened, and my legs curled up on their own.

His hands were on my thighs, pressing my legs apart. I trembled as his hands moved to my stomach, my hips, my thighs. Still touching me. Still exploring.

I gasped at the pressure of his mouth against my sex. The warmth of his tongue against my clit. I couldn't stop from bucking against his mouth, from moaning at the pleasure that raced through me.

He flicked his tongue against my clit, and I arched my back, a soft cry falling from my lips. He growled, a deep, guttural sound, and the vibrations of it made me tremble.

"That's it," he murmured. "Come for me, Rue. Let me make you feel good."

He brought one of my legs over his shoulder, spreading my legs further for him as he worked his tongue on my clit. My entire body twitched and tightened as I gasped. I tried to release his hair—I was probably hurting him with how tightly my hands held fistfuls of it—but I couldn't convince myself to.

With every flick of his tongue over my clit, my hips jerked against his face.

His fingers traced the entrance of my heat. I didn't think he was really teasing me at this point. He was just drawing this moment out. This was our first time alone together, so Javan was learning my body. Taking his time. Not wanting to make it end too quickly.

But I nearly came undone when he started to slide a finger into my pussy.

"Javan." His name came out breathless, barely audible as I pressed my hips to his face. The leg over his shoulder tensed, pulling his whole body closer.

"You're so wet," he praised against my clit as he pushed his finger in again. Then he added a second, curling them around to rub my walls.

Stars danced before my eyes. I bit my lip to hold in a moan. I was so hot, so turned on, so desperate for him.

I was soaking wet. Slick. When his fingers pulled out of me, I whimpered.

"Do you want me to make you come?"

I nodded, too short of breath to speak. I didn't know how much longer I could hold off. He chuckled, pressing his mouth to me with renewed effort. He plunged his fingers into my wet heat with a mission instead of his learning teasing touches. I writhed on the counter, arching and moaning loudly. My body tensed, shaking with tremors as he expertly fucked my pussy with his fingers and licked my clit like he'd been born to do this to me.

When I came, my cries filled the room, bouncing back at me. I shuddered, my body shaking as he continued to draw it out.

Panting, gasping for breath, I lay there staring at the kitchen ceiling. Javan slowly stood over me, his mouth glistening with my wetness, licking his lips. "That's my favorite kind of feast."

"Jesus," I muttered, draping an arm over my face to hide the way I blushed.