12. Kate

Chapter 12

Kate

T wo months of being Bulldog’s “girlfriend”—because I refuse to call myself his ol’ lady—has been exhilarating, fulfilling, and the most fun I’ve ever had.

Going to work has become more difficult not only because I resent the way I was treated by them about Bull but also because everything has changed in my life. My old life now feels like a lie, and yet I can’t let it go.

This should be so much more difficult than it is. Charlie has not questioned me again about Bull, he acts like he doesn’t even notice him, but he’s been nicer to me and Emma, better than he’s ever been.

We’ve been out with Bull’s friends a few times, and they accept us. But most importantly, Emma is over the moon about Bull and me being together. Pretty much when he offered to go to the school and talk to her math teacher after he’d given her a bad grade sealed the deal for her. Bull was convinced it was unfair and that he could get the teacher to raise her grade, but I was able to stop him before he got out the door. I convinced him that Emma needed to learn to stand up for herself, but it meant so much to me—well, Emma and me both—that he was willing to stand up for her.

But even though Emma likes him, I still haven’t let him spend the night when she’s here, and he respects that. But man, there are some nights I want to say screw it and let him sleep over.

Tonight, Emma’s at her dad’s and I’m home alone. Bull is at work and I had planned to spend the evening getting caught up on things I’ve been letting slide. But I don’t want to. Right now, what I’d like to do is go to the bar and watch my man at work.

So I spend the next half hour getting ready to go over to the Ride or Die.

Bulldog

It’s a wild night at the bar. It’s barely ten o’clock and already the bar is full of people. There have already been two fights and one of the women, a regular lately, has already been causing a ruckus. It seems she’s had her sights on Saint, and Cat is not handling it well.

I pick up the woman with the thought that I’m going to carry her outside, but she has other ideas. She twists in my arms, wrapping her body around mine, and I struggle to walk to the front door. I move my head to see around her and the first thing I spot is Kate coming in.

She looks at the woman in my arms and then back to me. I’m struggling to put the woman on her feet, but she just slides down my body and forces her lips to mine. I tear myself away from her just in time to see the hurt look on Kate’s face before she turns around and runs from the building.

I am no longer worried about the woman. I chase after Kate. “Kate! Kate! Stop,” I holler after her.

But she keeps going and doesn’t stop until she’s standing next to her car. She turns to face me. “It’s no big deal, Bull. We weren’t serious. You can have whoever you want.”

I should be apologizing to her, explaining to her what she saw, but instead, all I see is red. “That’s crap and you know it, Kate. We are serious. You’re the one I want.”

She laughs, literally laughs in my face. “It didn’t look like it back there.” She shakes her head. “No, you know what? It’s good I came. It’s good I saw this.”

I throw my hands up in the air. “What? Me doing my job? Because that’s what you saw. I was removing her from the bar.”

She crosses her arms over her chest and the look she’s giving me tells me exactly how mad and hurt she is. “Oh, I didn’t realize kissing women was part of your job. Good to know.”

I start to explain, but Cat comes out the entrance of the bar, dragging the same woman I had in my arms only seconds ago. Cat pulls her by the hair until she’s standing up and then punches her. The woman falls to the ground, and Cat stands over top of her. “You don’t mess with other women’s men, you piece of trash.”

She’s huffing and puffing, and I know if I don’t intervene, Cat’s going to do worse and then Saint’s going to be all pissed off that I let his woman do my job for me. “I got it, Cat. Just leave her there.”

Cat walks over to me, holding her hand with the other. She hit her pretty good and she’s probably hurt her hand. She stops in front of Kate. “You must be Kate. Bull’s told me all about you. Sorry we had to meet this way, but I think she understands now to keep her hands off men that are taken,” Cat says to Kate as she gestures over to the woman that is still lying on the ground.

Kate says hi, and they talk a few minutes and I wonder if everything is okay, but as soon as Cat walks away, Kate’s face is closing up again. “Do you see, I wasn’t with that woman. She’s drunk, nothing was happening.”

But Kate isn’t looking very forgiving right now. “No. Look, this isn’t my thing, Bull. It’s good I saw this. I’m too old for this kind of thing.”

I stand there stunned. I thought we were done with the age thing. “Age doesn’t have anything to do with it. And you know what, neither does what you just saw. You’re scared, Kate. Because you know how I feel about you and I know you feel the same for me. But you’re scared. You want to keep playing it safe. Hiding me away from your friends, your family. It’s like you were waiting on me to screw up. But I didn’t. I was doing my job. If you honestly think I could ever want someone else in my arms that isn’t you, then we don’t have a lot to say to each other.”

I know I’ve gone too far. There’s fire flashing in her eyes, and she stubbornly turns away from me and opens her car door. I want to go to her. I want to do whatever I have to do to make this right, but I don’t. I can’t. I stand here and watch her, hoping she’s going to make the right choice.

When she takes a deep breath, my nerves start to settle because I think she may be coming to her senses. But instead, she pummels me. “In the end, me walking away right now is the right thing to do. We aren’t meant to be together. The age thing, and everything else. We’re just too different. You’ll be glad it’s over, that I ended it now instead of later.”

I want to fight. I want to scream and punch something, but instead I say as calmly as I can muster, “No, I won’t be glad that you walked away from me, from us, Kate. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, and it sucks that you’re giving up on us because of this.”

I walk away then, back toward the bar and punch the brick wall. It hurts, but nothing like the pain I’m feeling in my chest.

She stands at her car and watches me for the longest time. I lean against the wall, breathing heavily and watching her get into her car and drive away.