Chapter 31: Silas

Presently,there were too many things for Silas to stress about. He might be going gray at the ripe age of twenty-eight and it was all thanks to this show.

The day had been uncomfortable, to say the least. The guys had hardly mingled with the girls, the girls not making an effort, either. The only interactions they'd had had been the morning's challenges and the brief interlude where Leith had commandeered Willow. After a while, both groups had reconvened and Silas had been forced to sit through another round of arguments where they'd ruled out eliminations one-by-one.

Sitting around the fire, he couldn't say he was thrilled with the decision they'd made.

Lainey stood on the other side of the flames, her attire looking like something one might wear to a funeral, if the funeral was held at a somber nightclub. The girls had, apparently, gotten this invitation because, when Silas glanced over, they were all clad in black, as well. Eloise, the pure brightness of her, stood out among them.

He still hadn't recovered from seeing her this morning, one of those little nightgowns pulled tight over her skin. He'd gotten a little thrill at the fact Killian hadn't offered her one of his shirts, though Silas did miss the sight of her in his.

Honestly, he loved the sight of her in everything.

He wondered if he'd ever be privy to the sight of her in nothing.

If he'd ever get to see her again after tonight.

Normally, Silas wasn't super in-tune with what his face was doing. Now, though, he could feel the scowl. The reminder that none of this was working out the way he'd wanted it to.

"So, we've given you the day to make your decisions," Lainey narrated. "Maxon, how do you feel these negotiations went?"

Maxon swallowed his heaping bite of humble pie and smiled at the host. "Man, it was tough. We've really gotten to know these girls while we've been here and it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, choosing one of them to leave."

Silas rolled his eyes—he truly couldn't help it. Where was all of this heartbreak just an hour ago, when Maxon had been gunning for the most strategic choice?

But Lainey only nodded along solemnly and turned to the girls. "And what about you, Cora? Was it any easier for the girls to choose someone to go?"

"Not at all, Lainey."

"Well, before we get into it, is there anything any of you would like to say? Maybe sway a vote at the very last minute?" Lainey looked hopefully at the lot of them and Silas wondered if it was in her job description to drum up drama or if she did it because she liked it. He had to give her credit, though, when the silence just rolled off her. "Well, if no one has anything to say, I guess we'd better get to it."

She lined each group of them next to her on the other side of the fire, the girls on the left and the boys on the right. It was strange to do this in the backyard, rather than on the rooftop patio but he supposed they'd had that setting last night. This was supposed to be different. A reminder that they weren't safe, perhaps? A reminder that, if they weren't going to play by the rules and give the production crew easy content, then production wasn't going to play by the rules, either.

Despite the proximity to the fire, Silas could see the slight shivering happening on the other side of Lainey. He didn't think it was chilly outside in the least and he knew that it must be nerves. Honestly, he hated that he'd had to contribute to those nerves.

Lainey spun to face the group, backing up a little too close to the fire for comfort. She let her eyes bounce between them. "Let's start with the…boys."

Maxon stepped forward, having decided without consent from the others to be their spokesperson for the night. Mournfully, Silas wondered if he should be the one to deliver the killing blow. Would it hurt her more, or less, if it came from his lips?

Maxon launched into the speech they'd been asked to prepare. "We spent a really long time today coming up with a solution to this elimination. Obviously, we would have preferred to finish out the show with every single one of these ladies still in the manor but that just wasn't the cards we were dealt." He shook his head back and forth, like he'd just made some sort of self-deprecating joke. "I promise you that we carefully considered every aspect of this decision, taking into account who was happy in their couples and who we felt was making the best effort here in the manor.

"We chose this girl because, even though she'd been really easy-going and everyone loves her, we haven't really seen her putting her all into her couples and it seems like she's been content to just float."

He's going off-script, Silas thought.

It wasn't ever supposed to be a criticism of her.

"So," Maxon continued, "even though we all love her, we've decided to eliminate…Danica."

Gasps resounded on the girls' side and Silas didn't have the wherewithal to determine who they'd come from and what they meant. Instead, he watched Danica for her reaction. He had to give her credit—she took it with grace.

In fact, he didn't even notice shock. Silas could imagine that Danica had already walked through every reason the boys had over the course of the day, that she'd reached the same conclusions they had and it wasn't that they didn't believe Danica deserved to be here.

It was more that Killian still wanted a relationship with Maia and Silas wanted one with Eloise. It was that Leith had had Willow locked in since that first week. So, really, it just came down to Cora and Danica. Foster didn't seem keen on fighting for Cora and Silas couldn't exactly fight for two women.

Their final decision, cold as it sounded, came down to finances. Danica had an established following and career. She had an agent and this show had been meant to rekindle public love for her. They reasoned it was fair to give Cora a shot at sticking around and building her own public interest.

Of course, they hadn't said it in so many words. They hadn't thought Carter would appreciate such a blatant exploitation of his show.

The girls descended upon Danica, arms and limbs wrapping around her, laments and encouragements whispered. She avoided looking at the boys and Silas wondered if she was just trying to avoid the pity or sympathy or whatever other emotion Maxon had plastered on his face.

Lainey had had enough of the grieving, apparently. Loudly, she demanded the attention return to her. "Danica—the boys have voted to eliminate you from Honeymoon Manor. How does that make you feel? Were you expecting this?"

Danice offered Lainey a pretty, if subdued, smile. "If it had to be one of us, I'm glad it was me. These girls deserve the absolute world and I'm so thrilled that they're getting the opportunity to find that while they're still here. I can only be happy for them and hope that this just means my own happily ever after is in the outside world."

"That's a lovely way to look at it, Danica." Lainey placed a hand over her heart only to drop it and return to business within a second. "If you could please stick around while we find out who'll be joining you on your journey home. Then I'll give you both a moment to pack your bags and bid your fellow Honeymooners farewell."

Danica nodded, clearly uncaring that it was a little cruel to make her sit through this. Silas would miss her. Not in any romantic capacity—that had never been a factor between them, especially once he'd gotten his first glimpse of Eloise. But she was one of his favorite people in the manor and he was grateful that he'd gotten an opportunity to call her a friend.

She'd probably smack him in the arm if he ever said any of that to her because the two of them didn't exactly get sappy. It might be worth it if he could get her to smile before she went, though.

The girls huddled together, their conversation a static buzz in the night air. Danica finally met his eyes, a warning flashing in them that he didn't quite understand. Was something wrong with Eloise? He let his gaze find her, only to see her shaking her head at something Cora was saying. Her expression was almost distraught, like they were making a last-minute decision that she didn't feel she could do anything about.

Were they going to eliminate Killian?

Would Eloise come to him for comfort if they did?

"Ladies?" Lainey prompted when they still hadn't regrouped. Her words sent them back into position, Cora stepping up as their own spokesperson.

"Sorry, Lainey—we had to make some last-minute changes to our plan."

Maxon scoffed. "Is that allowed? We had to make our decision before we heard who they chose. Why shouldn't they have to stick to it?"

Cora threw her head back, her patience wearing about as thin as Silas's. "Get over yourself, Maxon."

Silas pinched back a laugh.

Lainey extended a hand, gesturing for Cora to continue.

"After hearing the boys' reasoning for eliminating Danica, we think it's only fair to the rest of the contestants to eliminate this boy. This boy has definitely made an effort but his efforts, unfortunately, haven't proven fruitful. We think he might have better luck outside of this environment."

Eloise's eyes shone across the backyard to him, her lips turned down. He didn't imagine it bade very well for him that she sought out his eyes, in particular.

Cora continued. "We also think it's probably fair to keep the numbers even and make sure there aren't two people left without someone to honeymoon with. So, the boy we've decided to eliminate is…Silas."

The panic of hearing his name felt drowning. Would he ever get to see her again, if he left? She lived in Washington, only a border away—he could visit. Would she want to see him?

What if, when Silas was gone, something happened with Killian? Or, god forbid, Maxon? What if she found someone else before he could get to her? Before he could tell her that he didn't want to help her fall in love with someone else and that he didn't think she needed lessons on how to get someone to fall in love with her.

He didn't care that the rest of them had deemed him expendable—he'd never walked through life with desperation to be liked. But, fuck, had Eloise agreed to this? Earlier, they'd told the contestants that decisions had to be unanimous, so she would have had to sign off on it. Was she tired of him?

Not interested in picking up where they'd left off?

Did she?—

"No."

The voice was an interruption to his spiral and he couldn't quite figure out where it came from until it spoke again.

"Silas needs to stay," Foster informed them, like he'd taken up the mantle of their de facto leader within the last minute.

Lainey met him with a pitying look. "Unfortunately, that wasn't the deal. It was the girl's decision on who to send home."

Foster crossed his arms, wrinkling the fabric of his unbuttoned shirt. "No. I'd like to just leave the manor and allow the rest of the boys to stay."

Silas could practically feel Maxon gearing up to ask if Foster was allowed to do that so he made sure to elbow the other man before he could open his mouth.

Lainey studied the boys, searching for an answer that Silas wasn't sure she'd find there. "You're offering to leave in Silas's stead?"

"Yes."

"And why would you do that?"

"Because Silas has the potential to do exactly what this show is intended to do and I don't think he should have to leave just because his partner is." Foster grinned at Silas like they were old buddies before addressing Lainey again. "And because I haven't found love in the manor. I think you're all the coolest people on the planet but I don't think there's a relationship in the future for me with any of you."

For the very first time, Lainey looked uncertain. Silas held his breath, fearful of swaying her either direction. Did she even have the power to allow this? The host remained silent, staring off into the distance of the backyard as she placed a hand on the device nestled into her ear.

Finally, she said, "I don't know, Foster. We promised the girls a choice in the matter. It doesn't seem very fair to strip them of that choice."

Nodding, Foster turned to the girls. "Change your vote then. Eliminate me and let Silas stay."

What had Silas even done to earn this gesture from Foster? Yes, they'd been chummy, he guessed, but it wasn't like they were extraordinarily close. Maybe it was just that Foster was feeling charitable. That he saw how over the moon he was about Eloise.

Could everyone see that?

It didn't seem like Eloise could.

Lainey waited another beat for instruction. "Well, girls, is that something you're willing to do? Would you like to change your vote?"

Silas prayed for a swift yes. A resounding agreement and perhaps even glee at not having to make a decision that would send someone home against their will. But Cora just turned to share some sort of silent communication with the rest of the girls.

"Can we discuss it?" she asked Lainey, gutting Silas a little bit.

Lainey nodded and allowed the girls only five minutes. Silas wasn't sure what he was supposed to do during that time. If he were smarter, he wouldn't look at Eloise. He wouldn't watch her wide, perfect eyes staring down her friends and he wouldn't imagine all the ways she would soon be rid of him.

Yet, Silas couldn't rip himself from her. He watched her hungrily, knowing this might be the last moment he'd ever get to see her in the flesh. He took in the hair spilling over her shoulders that he'd like to card his fingers through. He took in the plumpness of her lips that he'd give anything to have the opportunity to kiss again. He took in the way her hands were wringing each other in front of her and wanted nothing more than to take them in his own.

And, of course, he took in her body, though he was trying really hard not to make his dick hard right now.

Perhaps those five minutes should have been agonizing but he was just glad for the opportunity to extend his time in her presence.

He hardly even noticed when Cora turned back around and sealed his fate.