Chapter Ten

Ever

I awake with a jolt, sitting up before my eyes are even properly open, my knives drawn. Before I can work out what woke me up, there is a soft knock on the door.

“Ever, dinner is ready!” Jenny calls through the door.

Thank fuck she didn’t come in to wake me up. That would have been hard to explain. I slowly force my grip to loosen on my knives and release a heavy breath.

“Coming!” I call out, my voice groggy.

I only arrived today, but Jenny offered for me to have a nap before dinner, and I was tired enough that I couldn't help it and fell asleep.

I am half tempted to try to go back to sleep, but my stomach effectively squashes that plan when it growls loudly at the mention of food. It has been days since I ate something more than a couple of crackers.

I jump up and place one knife back under my pillow and the other in a pocket, similar to the sheaths on my jacket that I have sewn into the waistband of my jeans. Until I can prove to my illogical and damaged side that I am safe here, I’m going to have to have at least one of my knives on me at all times. Especially if I don’t want to have a panic attack. They are sort of like a fucked-up version of a security blanket.

I move my stuff away from the bedroom door and briefly wonder if I could get away with taking my bag down with me without looking as crazy as I clearly am. Probably not.

I take a deep breath and walk out of the room and down the stairs, leaving my bag behind. I easily remember the way to the kitchen. Most of my daydreams took place in one of the boy’s homes, and I have never forgotten the layout of them.

As I approach the kitchen, I stand cautiously on the threshold, unsure of the usual protocols for this situation; as I peer in, my eyes land on Rob, Trick’s father. I’m once again startled by how little Rob has changed. My father looked haggard and at least ten years older than Rob or Jenny does, but then again, I guess drugs will do that to you. They both spot me at the same time as Jenny places the last dish on the table.

“Ever, it’s so lovely to see you.” Rob greets me.

I can tell that Jenny warned him of my ratty appearance since outwardly, he doesn’t react in any way apart from the sorrow, which I still don’t understand, shadowing his eyes. I offer a small smile, grateful that he didn’t try to hug me; that wouldn’t have ended well.

“Come and sit darling,” Jenny says.

I move further into the room, my eyes widening at the massive mound of pasta, a giant bowl of salad, and a heaping plate of garlic bread set out on the table. I don’t think I have seen this much food in years. My mouth begins to salivate.

“Help yourself. I may have gone a bit overboard. The boys eat like they are starving animals most of the time, so I have gotten used to making huge quantities.” Jenny and Rob chuckle, and I smile at them, desperately wanting to pile my plate high with food.

I wait until they’ve both filled their plates before loading my own with helpings of pasta, garlic bread, and salad. I am so focused on my food and getting it into my mouth as fast as possible so it can’t be taken away from me that I am not paying attention to my surroundings.

I finish my food in record time and suddenly remember my dusty manners. That was rude, right?

I stiffen and glance up at Rob and Jenny, only to find them both staring at me with wide eyes. I shrink in on myself, and my cheeks heat with embarrassment. Before I can thoroughly think through the repercussions, I blurt out the truth.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t eaten for a while, and I can’t remember the last time I saw this much food or had a hot meal. It was delicious, thank you. I’m sorry.” I say quietly, cursing my honesty once I have finished.

Rob clears his throat, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him exchange a look with Jenny.

“That is quite alright, Ever. I’m impressed. You ate as much as the boys,” he chuckles, although the sound is strained, “When was the last time you ate?”

“I had some crackers at a gas station on the way here.” I figure there is no point in trying to dodge the question now, and I already promised I wouldn’t lie.

“Before that?” Jenny asks gently.

I sigh heavily, scrunching my face up, trying to remember, “A couple of days, maybe.”

I hear Jenny gasp before she quickly covers it.

“You will never have to go hungry again, Everleigh,” Rob says fiercely, and I just nod dumbfounded. These people actually give a shit. How novel.

“Right, if you’ve still got room after that mountain of food, there’s chocolate cake for dessert.” Jenny grins.

I smile my first genuine smile, probably since I left this place all those years ago.

“I haven't had chocolate in years. There’s always room for chocolate.”

They chuckle at my answer, although it doesn’t entirely cover the sadness that still hides in their eyes.

I help them clear the table and then bring the plates over for the cake. Jenny cuts me a giant slice, and I am in absolute heaven after the first bite. I quickly finish my cake, and Rob confirms what I had already guessed when he tells me I will be going to school tomorrow. He offered me the rest of the week off, but I would rather not miss any more school if I can help it. Jenny tells me again that the boys will all be back by mid-morning and will be at school by lunch. I decide not to focus on that bit.

Denial is my friend. I internally scoff.

It’s not long until we say goodnight, and I traipse up to the room I’m sleeping in, not sure I will ever be comfortable calling it mine.

Although I had a short nap earlier, I am still tired, and having a full stomach for once is making me sleepy. I put my hoodie back on and take my boots off, this time knowing I’m not ready to leave both off yet. I have pushed myself far enough today. However, I leave one knife in my jeans, still easily accessible but not under the pillow where I usually keep it, so baby steps. I settle down for a night of tossing, turning, and more nightmares. I rarely sleep without them plaguing me.