Chapter 21

21

When Ben and Lauren arrived on the set at six a.m. the next morning, it was already a beehive of frenetic activity.

"Thank you!" said Lauren. "This is what I expect it to be like!"

Ben looked at her strangely, but she didn't feel like explaining because she was not eager to relive the pain and fright she felt from thinking he'd been sick or injured severely enough that he'd been hospitalized.

They climbed out of the town car and embarked immediately on a hectic whirlwind of a morning, rushing from hair and makeup to wardrobe to set.

Paul made it clear that they needed to be sharp and on point that day. They had double the amount of shots to get through since they were playing catch-up from the day before. When he said this, Ben apologized profusely.

"Seriously, stop," Paul said sincerely. "You were where you needed to be. I'm not saying this to guilt you into giving a flawless performance. Here's the thing—both of you are pros. I'm just giving you the lay of the land. We have a ton of work to get through today. So let's get started."

Ben and Lauren both nodded and then smiled at each other. They were vibing today. Lauren could already sense that they were at the top of their games, both individually and collectively. It was going to be a good day. She could feel it in her bones.

As the shooting day wore on, Lauren was glad that she had been right. She and Ben were in the zone together. Most of the shots they were able to get in the can in one take.

Lauren felt the magic of the shoot running through her veins in an electrifying current. What should've been a really miserable, tense day on set because of all the make-up work they had to get done was turning out to be one of the most relaxed and fun shooting days she'd experienced since starting this new job.

The first opportunity that anyone had to even breathe was during the dinner break as people sat around with their paper plates full of food from craft services, sharing stories and laughing and just being giddy in general that the day was almost behind them and that it was a total success.

Ben and Lauren were sitting next to each other, talking and laughing and enjoying their food just like everyone else was, when, all of a sudden, Ben surprised her by leaning over and giving her a kiss. And not just a little kiss either, but a full-on, tongue-twirling, toe-curling kiss.

The crew exploded in cheers, clapping, whooping, and hollering. Even Paul was smiling, and there were some teasing shouts of, "You go girl!" and "It's about time!"

Lauren smiled demurely. She certainly didn't want to be the spoilsport that ruined everyone's fun, so she just waved to the crowd and did her best to take the good-natured ribbing as if she enjoyed being the center of attention.

She didn't.

Lauren was a private person when it came to relationships, and she felt extremely uncomfortable that Ben had just put theirs on display. Especially after the previous day spent with his family and the night together that followed, it seemed as if what was unfolding between them was intimate, private...sacred.

And to her, Ben had just turned it into a spectacle.

Paul stood. "Okay, okay..." he said, gesturing for the crowd to quiet down. "This is very exciting news, I'll grant you. But we still have two more shots to get through this evening, ladies and gentlemen, so let's take this energy and channel it into work, all right? Five minutes."

Lauren was relieved. At least in five minutes, she could distract herself with performing in front of the camera.

As soon as Paul yelled, "Cut!" for the last time, Lauren made a beeline for her trailer. Suddenly, she was feeling extremely claustrophobic. Trapped. She needed to get back to Hope Falls.

This caused her to pause—to freeze in place, actually—midway through the mundane task of gathering her laptop and luggage to load into the town car that would take her and Ben back to LAX.

Since when did words like 'trapped' enter into her thoughts when she thought about being with Ben? When did that start?

As she thought back over the past couple of days, her first instinct was to think that it sprung out of nowhere, beginning with that public and uninvited kiss at dinner. However, the more carefully she considered, the more she realized that there had been seeds of it during the visit with Ben's family yesterday, and those seeds started to sprout at his home, especially when she was looking at his family photos. And although she choked them at the time, she didn't pull them up by their roots.

She shook her head. Was it possible that, as much as she cared for Ben and as special as their connection was, things were getting too close, too serious for her liking?

The thought made her highly uncomfortable, even scared her...but it had the ring of truth.

Lost in thought, Lauren gathered her bags and made her way to the small beach parking lot where the car was slated to pick them up.

She was looking forward to the ride to the airport, alone in the back of the town car with Ben, where they could just hold hands and chat, reconnect on that magical level that was only available to the two of them when no one else was around—and maybe her fears about how far and how fast down the road of commitment this relationship had sped, and how it could dissipate as surely and as easily as morning dew in the light of the strong, bright afternoon sun.

Lauren sat down on the molded stone bench that graced the far side of the parking lot, wondering idly what was taking Ben so long. She knew that her internal crisis slowed down the process of gathering her things from the trailer. She fully expected to see Ben here waiting for her when she arrived, but he was nowhere in sight.

She glanced at her watch and frowned. If he didn't hurry, the car was going to show up and they would be forced to wait. Hopefully not for too long. She didn't want to take even the smallest chance that they would miss their flight. She really needed to get home. Home to Hope Falls—the one place where she felt like she could actually think.

Just then, she heard a high-pitched shriek of laughter coming from the direction of the house where they'd been shooting. She frowned. What was that?!

Lauren slipped off her heels and took a few steps out into the sand so that she had a fuller view of the oceanfront by the house. She was struck dumb by what she saw: Ben, in full "Television Host Persona" mode, surrounded by six bikini-clad college-bimbo types.

He was taking photos with them in all different combinations, laughing, charming the hell out of them. Lauren knew that it shouldn't bother her. But the same feeling that she had growing up, when she would see her dad flirt and turn on his mega-charm, flooded through her now. She felt angry. She felt helpless. She felt betrayed.

Lauren saw Ben sign one girl's cleavage, another one's inner thigh, and then a third girl's ass—which the girl made sure to present to him by turning away and bending over slightly, poking it out to show it off to its best advantage.

What was she, a baboon?

Lauren felt absolutely sick to her stomach. She sprinted the few steps off the sand and back to the relative safety of the ignorance of her bench.

She dusted the grains of sand off of her feet and slipped back into her designer heels, immediately feeling more like herself.

It's part of the job , she reminded herself. It's not like he was flirting with them for real.

Yeah. Right.

Five minutes later, Ben sauntered up to the bench with his bags slung over his shoulders, and before Lauren could stop herself, she said, "I'm surprised you couldn't charm one of the girls gone wild into carrying those for you."

Ben laughed, not realizing how hurt she actually was, and said, "I probably could have."

The town car pulled up, and Ben said, "Perfect timing."

When the driver popped the trunk, Ben reached for Lauren's bags, but she snapped, "I've got it," and lifted them in herself.

Ben looked at her strangely, and even Lauren recognized that turning into a jealous shrew every time one of his over-eager fans wanted his autograph, wasn't a great long-term strategy.

But she couldn't help it. At the moment, her emotions were taking over.

She sighed as she climbed into the back of the town car. It was going to be a long trip home. She grimaced. And with the way I'm acting , she realized, Ben's probably thinking the exact same thing .

Several times on the trip back to Hope Falls, Ben turned to Lauren and asked her what she was upset about. Although Lauren felt extremely tempted to just lay out her feelings for him so that they could talk about it and she would feel better, but every time she stopped just short of doing that and replied, "Nothing."

Finally, Ben asked point blank if she was upset about the girls who had asked him for autographs.

"Is that all they asked you for?" she asked coldly.

She wanted to slap herself. She knew that all the shit that was coming up had nothing to do with Ben. But in what seemed like a pattern since Ben came into her life, it appeared that she was powerless to stop it.

"It's part of the job, Lauren," he said, but not unkindly. "I get how you feel. If I had seen you surrounded by oiled-up bodybuilders on Venice Beach or something, having to flirt and sign their body parts, it would make me feel like taking a swing at all of them. Which of course, I wouldn't do—mainly out of self-preservation—but also because, as much as it would hurt to see, I would realize that it was your job."

Lauren closed her eyes and nodded. She knew he was right. She just needed a little bit of time to get her emotions under control.

She could hear Karina's voice in her head saying, " Gee, Laur, those would probably be good words to say out loud right about now ," but she just couldn't bring herself to say anything.

Lauren pulled out her laptop, powered it up, and began to lose herself in work. On the one hand, it felt good to be distracted. On the other hand, she actually felt somewhat resentful that Ben was just letting her work without trying to further explain his actions or validate her feelings.

How could he just sit there quietly, not saying a word, when he knew full well how upset she was?

" Well, gosh, Laur. Maybe because he's asked you about fifty times if you're all right, and every single time, you've told him you're fine ," she heard Karina's voice pipe up again inside her head.

She grimaced to herself. She must really be losing it if Karina's voice was now starring inside her brain as 'the voice of reason.'

As they made their way through the airport, and then later on the flight itself, Lauren really felt like Ben was making a special point to flirt especially charmingly with every female they ran into—the ticket clerk, the gate attendant, the barista, the flight attendant...even the pilot.

She really was losing it.

About halfway through the car ride back to Hope Falls, Lauren realized that she had had enough. She simply couldn't take anymore. She slipped the silk eye mask she always traveled with over her eyes, donned her headphones, and leaned her head back to rest, completely ensconced in the small, cozy cocoon she'd created for herself. It felt nice.

The next thing she knew, Ben was carrying her from the town car up to her front door. She realized she must've fallen asleep in the car.

She was groggy but alert enough to understand that, to have some measure of control, she was going to have to get her own feet under her on the ground. She tried to wiggle down, but Ben just held her tighter.

"Relax," Ben said softly. "This is the least I can do for you after I wore you out last night."

After a brief moment of internal resistance, Lauren sighed and snuggled deeper into Ben's arms. She loved the way it felt there.

Lauren had always been tall, and she'd never been with a man who could so easily pick her up and carry her.

She'd never even been with a man who'd even tried to pick her up and carry her.

Lauren was all for equal treatment and women's rights, and in some circles, she would even be considered a feminist—but she had to admit that being carried by this strong, tall man was one of the best feelings she had ever experienced. She knew she would remember this moment forever.

Maybe she was a fish who really did need a bicycle? That thought scared her.

She shook her head and nuzzled it deeper into Ben's neck. That was too complicated to think about right now. Best to just relax and enjoy the feeling.

He set her down on her porch and ran back to retrieve her bags. Rather than setting those down when he returned, however, he simply stood there, waiting for her to unlock her front door.

Oh lord, he didn't think he was spending the night, did he?

Lauren started to panic. She didn't know if she could do that. All the feelings she was having, she had to process. As much as she appreciated that Ben seemed to be overlooking the fact that she'd been a total bitch to him all day, she had to figure out how to prevent that from happening again.

Ben waited patiently as she unlocked the door and went inside to deactivate the security system, seemingly oblivious to the alarm bells that were clanging like crazy inside of her.

As she turned, opening her mouth to make her excuses, explaining how tired she was after traveling, he shut the door behind them and—in a flash—he had her pinned up against the wall.

He slowly lowered his head and gave her one of the slowest, sweetest, most torturous kisses she'd ever gotten from anyone. Before he was even ten seconds into the kiss, her legs felt weak and she was shaking with desire.

Lauren was just reaching the point of saying to herself, So what if he stays the night? Who's it gonna hurt? when Ben pulled away gently and said, "See you tomorrow. Last day of shooting."

She stared at him mutely, and he smiled and told her to sleep well and dream of him.

As he left, Lauren closed the door behind him and finally found her voice. In a softly ironic tone, she said, "That shouldn't be a problem."