Chapter Twelve

"Holly." I can't tell if I groaned her name out loud or heard it in my dream. All I know is one minute I'm fast asleep and the next I'm wide awake in my bed and ravenous. All my senses immediately hone in on the little human curled up next to me. My mouth pools with saliva as her scent dances across my tongue.

All I can taste is her. All I can see, smell, feel is her.

I spent the rest of the night (with a few breaks here and there) devouring her and yet the deep ache I feel for her gnaws at me.

The monster inside me needs her. Now.

Holly is slumbering peacefully. From my angle, all I can see is the top of her head and the stripe of brown on her scalp where her roots have grown out. She must be having a very naughty dream because I can sense the sharp bite of hormones pulsing through her veins.

I reach under the blanket and start fondling her breast. Her nipples are already hard points.

"Hmmrph?"She makes a cute, groggy, confused sound as I lift her hips in the air and place a pillow under her head, so she's not face down on the mattress.

"I need,"I growl. The hunger slows down my thoughts, making it impossible to spit out the rest of my sentence. Holly's eyes slowly blink awake as I kneel behind her and push her thighs open with my knee.

"Mmmhmm."She makes a soft groan I can feel all the way in my groin as I lift the edge of the flannel she's still wearing, revealing her round bare ass, and run my fingers through her folds. She's already wet and so, so warm.

I support her weight with my left hand as I grab my cock with my right. I line up my tip at her entrance and pull her towards me, like she's my very own little fuck toy, and slowly feed myself into her. The wet friction makes every nerve in my skin sing.

"Oh. Az." She buries her face into the pillow and moans. From this angle, I must be too big, because only my tip is inside, and I can already feel her tightening and helplessly fluttering around me. I growl and drag out my thrust to slow down the tight pressure building at the base of my spine.

I want her. I want to fuck her hard and fast, but I also want to drag this moment out as long as possible. Who knows how much time we have left before the road crew digs her car out of the snow?

I grab her by the waist, my fingers almost spanning all the way across her stomach. I love the curve of her spine, and I want to kiss my way up it. I want to kiss and bite and lick every inch of her skin until I'm soaked into every pore. That way, when she's back home in the city, all she can smell is me.

Because she is mine. Holly is mine, the monster inside me growls.Holly fists the sheet helplessly as she unravels around my cock. She is too undone to speak or move as I drag her body towards me, down my length, until her ass is flush with my skin. Once she's putty in my hands, I go fast and hard, chasing my own pleasure. A few minutes later, my sack tightens against my body, and I fill her with my hot release.

I let go of her and she collapses forward on the bed. I fall down next to her and almost bounce her off the bed by accident thanks to my massive weight. Pulling her close to me, I notice there is a drunk, happy smile on her face. Smiling is not in my nature. I grew up in a family of frowners. My parents thought smiling was a sign of weakness. But when I'm with Holly, there always seems to be a stupid grin on my face too.

I drift on and off for the next few hours, and when I wake up, I'm surprised to find the bed empty. Holly is only a few feet away, rummaging through my closet.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"I'm gonna go check on the car," she says over her shoulder. She pulls out a pair of boots from the closet and waves them in my direction. "Can I borrow these?"

I squint. They're too small to be mine. They must be an old pair Carl left behind when he moved out. "Go ahead, I don't care. I don't want to get your hopes up, but I think it's a little too early. It's only the day after Christmas." I should probably hike to Frostwing Lookout soon to confirm when they plan on clearing the roads, but I am in no rush. The sooner they're here, the sooner Holly leaves. I know her check-out time will come eventually, but I'm not ready for that yet.

She nods and tugs on the boots anyway. "I know. I just want to check." Her face is always so open, I've had no trouble reading her so far, but right now . . . she's closed-off. She looks a little uneasy, maybe? Have I done anything to make her uncomfortable?

As she heads towards the door, only wearing boots, a ratty flannel that reaches to her knees, and not much else, she draws a little too close to the bed. I reach out and loop my arms around her waist, pulling her into my chest.

"Az!" she protests.

I don't kiss her shoulder or neck, instead I dip my nose into her unkempt hair and inhale deeply, committing her scent to memory. She reeks of sex—we both do—but deep underneath is her.

Warm, sweet, sunshiny Holly.

She chuckles softly. "I promise I'll be right back." She pats my shoulder awkwardly. Something is wrong. I'm giving her a hug, and she's not reciprocating. I haven't known her very long, but this woman is a hugger. The type of person who would gladly volunteer to hug a stranger just because they're having a bad day, and it would be the best hug of that stranger's life. She's just that warm and inviting.

What did I do wrong? I overdid it on the sex, didn't I? Every time I initiated, it was because I could smell the sex hormones in her veins, but maybe those signals crisscrossed in my brain, and I read her wrong?

Or is it the nudity? Humans are bashful about things that demons don't really care about, like blunt honesty, not sniffing people's hair, or letting strangers see you naked. I learned that rule the hard way during one of my med school internships when I whipped open the curtain on a human patient who was still changing into his gown. The doctor I was shadowing yelled at me in front of the whole unit, and I had to scramble to find a different hospital to finish my hours at.

I spin her around so she's facing me. "What's wrong?" I demand. I grab the blanket corner and cover my junk, just in case my nudity is bothering her. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

She blinks. "No, not at all!"

"Then why are you acting weird? Be honest, is my nakedness offending you?"

"No!" She fidgets with a piece of hair, adding, "It's nothing, really."

My eyes narrow. "Holly. You're not going to hurt my feelings by being honest. Tell me to put on a pair of pants and I will—"

"No. No, it's not that." She bites her bottom lip as she reaches out and buries her fingers into the patch of dark hair on my chest. "I'm sorry. I know I'm being weird. I guess I'm just feeling anxious about overstaying my visit. I know there's nothing we can do about the car, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable. You're probably missing your alone time. I would be if I were you. I may be an extrovert, but even I hate it when I have guests over and they end up staying longer than I was planning, and I'm exhausted, they've eaten all my food, my social battery is empty, but I don't know how to tell them to leave. Even if you need me to give you space for a couple of hours, please tell me."

I pause for a moment, thinking it over. She's right. On my personal Maslow"s hierarchy of needs, I value alone time at the bottom of the triangle under physiological needs. Which is confusing because shouldn't the top be the most important? Regardless, yes, right next to safety, shelter, and air is my need to be alone.

But do you know what I like more than me time? Sex. Holly. Sex with Holly. Really good sex with Holly. In any other situation, right now, I'd be at the point where my social battery would be tanked, and I'd be a cantankerous asshole not even a grizzly bear could tolerate being around, but for some reason, I don't feel tired.

Physically tired, sure—did I mention all the good sex we were having?

But I don't feel emotionally drained, as she said, or that I want to escape this cabin and climb to a higher elevation on the mountain where no one could find me, like I would be feeling if I was spending the holidays with anyone but Holly.

I feel good. Really good.

I feel like even though she's just checking on her car and will be back in twenty minutes, I'm still going to miss her.

What the fuuuuck is wrong with me?

"Have I said or done anything to make you think I'm sick of you?" I ask. Whether it's a human thing to be insecure or I'm inadvertently giving off signals I'm not aware of, I honestly want to know so I can fix it. Unless she wants me to smile more, that'll be a hard no.

She blushes and looks everywhere in the room but at me. "No. Well, I mean yes at first, but we cleared that up, didn't we? You've been so great. I'm sorry, just ignore me. I'm overthinking everything."

I run my thumb against a love bite on her neck. She shivers. Finally, she looks up at me and gives me a timid smile.

"If there's anything bothering you, I want you to tell me, okay? I'm not going to kick you out if you're too honest with me," I say. She nods. "And I know you're anxious to get back to the city, but we'll get you home soon enough. I promise." The wilderness isn't for everyone, even people like Holly who spend their summers camping. Sometimes even I miss the modern conveniences of town.

Holly studies me for a moment, her smile faltering. "Thanks Az," she replies. She smiles at me again, but this one feels forced. Her uneasiness has returned. Shit. I'm misreading the entire situation again. She's ready to go home, and she's too polite to say so. She must be tired of me. It doesn't matter how good the sex is, or how much fun we're having, no one in their right mind wants to be cooped up with a grump like me for too long. I don't even like being alone with me.

Later, as I'm standing in front of the stove cooking breakfast, I see Holly outside making her way back to the cabin. There's a determined look on her face as she trudges through the snow. The boots are a little too big and if she's not careful, her foot will slip out, and she'll have to hop backwards on one foot to retrieve it. I know this because that exact thing happened just a few minutes ago.

Mother Below, she is breathtaking. Even wearing a coat three sizes too big for her and her hair wild from roughing it in the mountains, I think she's stunning. More than that, she's kind, empathetic, and patient—my exact opposite personality-wise. But she's also mouthy and assertive when she really digs deep. Even though our time has been short, and that time keeps growing shorter and shorter by the minute, I hope I taught her something. To be selfish. To be a little mean. And not let assholes like me walk all over her.Something red in the corner of my eye catches my attention. I almost drop my spatula when I see him—Rom. Holly sees him about the same time I do and stops to smile and wave.

What is he doing here?I remember bumping into him in town when I had to refill my drinking water. I tried keeping the conversation short. Rom may have been my friend all those years ago, but things are different now. I trust him as much as I trust the rest of demonkind.

Rom dragged out our meeting, asking about some places to rent. It looks like he found a cabin, but what is he doing here on my front lawn?

No doubt he's working an angle, trying to get close to me and my fortune. He mentioned it when we chatted. Word travels quickly between demons, especially when money is involved.

Stop it, you're being paranoid. Rom is not your parents or Sasha, so you can calm the fuck down. I force myself to take a deep breath; the tips of my fingers prickling with pins and needles. I turn off the stove before I accidentally burn the food.

It feels like a knife to the gut when Rom gestures towards the cabin as he's talking to Holly. I know they can't see me from the window, but I get the sense they're talking about me. Is he . . . telling her? About my money? Rom hands her a flier and Holly takes it with a wide smile before heading back towards the cabin.

My jaw is still ticking by the time she returns. "What did he want?" I almost snap as she shuts the front door.

She pauses, giving me a wary look. "That was your friend. Rom? He wanted to let me know about a fundraiser for the library in town. I guess there's going to be a raffle at some festival in a few days too. Sounds fun." She hands me the flier, and I snatch it out of her hand, my blood pounding. My body relaxes slightly when I read it.

"Az," she says slowly, a worried expression on her face. "What's going on?"

I let out a shuddering breath, rubbing the base of my horn. "It's nothing. I'm sorry. He's just. . ." I let my voice trail off. I can't think of an excuse, but I can't tell her the truth, either. "Did he say anything about me?"

Holly's eyes widen as she shakes her head. I nod to myself. Good. She doesn't press me. That's even better. "Sit down." I gesture to the table. "I made breakfast."

Later that night, as I'm washing the dishes, I still feel edgy. My entire body is tingling. Holly sits crisscross in front of the fire, playing solitaire with an old deck of cards she found in one of the cupboards. She hums a cheery little tune, yet it does nothing to calm my nerves. I haven't said much to her today. I'm afraid if I open my mouth, something snappy will come out.

"Hey, I was thinking," she says out of the blue, "this place could be pretty cute if you spruced it up. I know you don't want guests, and I totally understand that. But maybe buying some new curtains, patching up those holes in the porch, and even adding a few extra lamps would brighten the place up. What do you think?"

I drop the mug I was scrubbing in the sudsy water and turn to look at her. She's too engrossed in her cards to notice me, a contented smile on her face. I narrow my eyes. He did tell her.

It doesn't matter how good or kind someone is, money changes people. I've been fooled once before, and I refuse to let it happen again. After Sasha crawled back into my life under the false pretenses of "trying again," she said the exact same thing. This place would be so cute if you spruced it up. Maybe we can buy some new curtains?

Sasha's requests started small at first. New bedding. A new lamp. A TV. Until she started hinting at bigger, more expensive items: rental listings for houses in town, texts about a couple selling their Camaro, "accidentally" leaving brochures for luxury resorts on my pillow. Stuff she knew I couldn't afford unless someone had told her about my secret fortune. I'm embarrassed to admit how long it took me to realize Sasha was not back in my life because she missed being with me. She had been sent by my parents to mend our relationship so they could eventually wriggle their way back into my life and get their greedy hands on my money.

Mother Below, that money has been more trouble than it's worth. I should just donate it. Or climb to the top of the mountain and throw it into the volcano. Instead, I keep it buried in glass jars around Carl's property because I don't even trust the local bank to keep the location of my fortune secret.

"Yeah, maybe." My voice is cold and indifferent. It sounds so hollow in my head.

Holly raises her head and frowns. "You sure you're okay?"

I nod, rinsing off the mug and setting it on the mat to dry.

"I'm pretty tired. I think I'm going to turn in early," she murmurs. She cleans up the cards and comes over to give me a side squeeze.

"Just give me a few and I'll be in." I return the hug with zero enthusiasm. As soon as the coast is clear, I open a cabinet, the one that Holly can't reach, and rummage around until I find the old CB radio Carl left behind. Hopefully, it works, but I'll hike to Frostwing tonight if I have to.

I don't even bother throwing on a coat as I step outside into the frigid night air. I only have to flip through a few staticky channels before I get in touch with the local park ranger.

"Chad," I say instead of hello.

"Azgoran?" he says on the other line, sounding groggy like he just woke up. "Is everything okay?"

Yes . . . No? I have no clue. "When is the road crew coming to dig out my guest's car?"

"Your guest's car?" he murmurs to himself, as if he already forgot when I called him and told him a few days ago. "Oh right! Not sure, man. I guess her car was the only vehicle that was buried, so they're not in a huge rush. I'm sorry, they haven't given me a date yet."

I growl under my breath. This is ridiculous. What am I supposed to do? Dig the car out myself?

I'm already doing the mental math to figure out if I start digging now, would I be done by the time the sun comes up, when Chad pipes up, "The resort on BZB is lending us a rescue vehicle. We"ll be heading up the mountain tomorrow to take a couple of stranded visitors back into town. Do you need a ride?"

No. But my houseguest does.

The snowcat arrives the next morning as soon as Holly wakes up. I'm already waiting on the porch with a jar full of cash when she appears.

"Azgoran, what's going on?" she asks, stepping out onto the porch. She wraps the flannel tighter around her frame. Her worried eyes flick from me to the snowcat to the jar of money caked with dirt, and back to me again. Her eyes are so big they take up almost half of her face.

"Your ride is here," I say, reaching into the jar and retrieving a handful of cash.

Her face falls. "My ride? Az, you need to tell me what's going on!"

"Your checkout was technically yesterday." My heart shatters as her brown eyes go shiny with tears, but I stay strong. I hold out the stack of cash for her to take. "I don't know when they'll dig out your car, but here, this should tide you over until then."

She ignores the money, holding her clenched fists at her side. I try shoving the money into the crook of her arm, but she doesn't let me.

Finally, with an exasperated sigh, I shove the money into the front of her shirt between her cleavage. She gasps, but it works—she's too shocked to duck out of the way in time.

There. You want my money so badly? Then take it.

I take a step back, expecting to feel a sick sense of satisfaction for finally getting Holly to take the money. But as she glares at me, her entire body trembling with quiet fury, my blood turns cold.

Have I made a mistake? Maybe Holly doesn't know about the money—

Well, it's too late now, isn't it? Even if my suspicions are wrong, it's just better if she leaves. I'm broken, too broken to be around other people.

Turning my back on her, I head towards the door. Before I turn the knob, I hear a quiet, "Fuck you."

I'm so shocked those words came out of her mouth; I turn back to gape at her. Her face is covered in snot and tears but there's fire in her eyes. She could burn down a whole mountain with that look. "Fuck you, Az!" Her voice is shaky but growing stronger. "I changed my mind. I'm going to give you and this cabin the best review in the whole fucking world. Five out of five stars. Best trip ever. It'll be so good, everyone and I mean everyone will want to stay here. You'll never have a moment of peace again."

I grit my teeth. "I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your stay."

And that's it. I close the door on Holly, ending her five-star trip and our time together.

When I step into the kitchen, the cabin feels too warm. Too stifling. My entire body prickles like I've been dropped headfirst into a haystack of needles. I need to burn. I need to destroy. It"s the same feeling I get every time before I lose my grip on reality. Without realizing it, I've been leaning my weight on the table. When I lift my hand, there's a palm-shaped scorch mark on the laminated top.

I jerk towards the hearth and snuff out the fire with my powers, leaving only cold and darkness. Good. Just how I like it.