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Chapter 49

We've just done the press conference. I insisted on a paternity test, and the results just came back. It's mine, my wife assured me it was already, but I know she hasn't stopped fucking her boyfriend. He's been hired as her ‘bodyguard' so they can be seen out in public, and she's moved him into the fucking house our parents bought us. We live on separate sides of the house, but I hate that she has him, and I'm back to having fucking no one.

So, I stand up there in front of all those cameras and say how fucking happy I am that I'm going to be a father, but inside I'm terrified I'm going to turn out like my own. I vow that I will bring my child up myself. I never want them to think that I don't love them because I don't love their mother. I know she won't care for the child. We stopped fucking as soon as she got a positive test result, and in public, we play the part, but behind closed doors, we don't even talk. She's manipulative and conniving, but she was also honest. She told me how it was going to be, and she's been true to her word.

I"m sure there will come a time when this will all blow up in our faces, but Father handed me the business. He's in Costa Rica with a twenty-year-old, and Mother's at the ‘spa', more likely rehab again. But at least when the baby comes, it will be mine. She won't give a shit, and neither will anyone else, but I will be the father he or she deserves.

I sit and wonder. I wonder if I'd fought for him, would we still be together. I wonder if he's moved on and found someone new. Part of me hopes so. I want him to be happy, but another part of me hopes he will knock on my door and take what I have left for him.

I love him, and I miss him. He made my life so much brighter, but I didn't have the balls to stand up to my father, and I now get why Jay punched me. I don't know what I was thinking, expecting him to be hidden away as my dirty little secret.

I can't help but hate my father for making me give him up, but then I know deep down I gave him up. I should have stood up for us; maybe I would be happy instead of living a miserable existence. At least when my child comes into this world, I can have a family. This house will then be a home, and hopefully, Chelsea will leave, and it will just be the two of us.