9. FWB

FWB

Larken

P utting aside my hurt feelings over the situation with Roan, I tried to be there for Dalton as he processed his grief and jealousy at Tate's pregnancy.

Truthfully, I had some envy to work through myself. Roan had accepted both Asher and Tate into his bond and even once that bond had dissolved, leaving behind broken hearts and a new alpha and omega, he still wanted to be with them. Now he was going to be a father with his omega mate.

The pain I felt over seeing him accept betas made me realize a lot of things about my friendship with Roan. Namely, that he relied on me a lot, but didn't offer the same friendship in return. He still hadn't asked how I was after being knocked out! A stupid thing to get stuck on, except it was just one of many things that troubled me about our unequal friendship.

In the fallout of the pregnancy announcement, Roan had called more, using me as a sounding board for his troubles. He told me more than I needed to know about his life with his unconventional family before and after it fell apart. Slowly, they were picking up the pieces, just the same as Dalton was pulling himself together.

The beta spent more and more time on my mind. Dalton impressed me. He had such inner strength. Instead of making it everyone's problem that he was suffering, he buried it deep and carried on. To those who didn't know his secret, or not so secret, desire, they wouldn't be able to tell just how much it burned inside that he wasn't Tate.

I think it was pretty common knowledge that Dalton wanted a baby. Most of the pack knew he was a sure thing for holding babies, changing diapers, feeding them. Hell, Dakota had handed off Hayden to Dalton when he was barely a day old because everyone knew Dalton would die before hurting a child.

What wasn't as common knowledge was that Dalton was envious of omegas. He wanted the ability to carry a baby. He wished for an alpha to take him through his heat and get him pregnant.

Yet, instead of giving him his dream, The Luna had bestowed the gift on Tate. Given the gift to a new omega, one who wasn't sure about his new designation, then had hesitated over keeping his baby .

I knew I shouldn't doubt The Luna's plans for her shifters, but seeing someone I cared so deeply for hurting made me want to battle all their demons and even face goddesses to get him what he wanted.

In a few months, Dalton had become very important to me.

The pack was far too busy with all the babies, Kade's and Jasper's, to celebrate the winter festivals. Security was too tight in the compound for them to leave it to join in with other celebrations. Instead, they passed with little fuss.

Dalton was drifting from me, putting all his walls up, so just after the new year, I approached him with an idea I had.

"Hey," I said casually as I perched on the edge of his desk. "There's something I wanted to ask you."

"Oh, well… Now's not really a good time. I've got work." Dalton avoided looking at me, instead concentrating on his laptop screen.

"You've also got a lunch break. I got Winter to make you something." He looked up with a frown. "You've been skipping out on meals," I chided, earning me a snort in return.

I knew Dalton had a small kitchen in his house. He needed it to prepare the food for his ferret since there was no way Winter was letting Spice anywhere near his massive catering kitchen. Winter kept the place spotless and would likely cry if he found ferret hair in there. Dalton arranged for orders of meat to be delivered to the main kitchen and took it home to prepare rather than buying store made food for his pampered pets.

Dalton's look could have burned me to cinders if he had that power. "Come on, Dally—"

"Do not use that goddess-forsaken nickname!" he fumed. "I wish you'd never heard Chase call me that." He glared at me while I grinned, unrepentant. "Fine." He let out a long breath, as if needing patience. "I'll meet you in the library in five."

Maybe he had sensed I didn't want others in the pack overhearing what I wanted to ask because Dalton had picked the right place for us to hash some things out. The library was a fairly big room with walls filled with shelves. Books of all kinds filled each shelf to bursting. I'm sure there was a system to it, but having spent precisely no time in there at all, I didn't have a clue what all was in there. I'd been much too busy getting through my own book selection to even look at theirs .

"Hey." Dalton was subdued as he took the empty seat next to me. I'd picked the leather armchairs near the fireplace. The room was cozy, fighting off the winter chill with a fire lit in the hearth.

Immediately, he began fussing with the paper bag of food on the low table. From the paper bag, he carefully took out the sandwiches and the chips Winter had lovingly made for us, knowing exactly which fillings were meant for me and for him. With dainty hands, he picked at his food before he took a small bite and chewed carefully.

"Are you okay?" Concern lit up all my senses, making me hyper aware of how stiffly Dalton was holding himself in the seat and how little he had picked out for himself to eat. He was already back to being as thin as he was after the beta sickness when he had returned to work.

"Can we just get this over with?" Dalton asked frostily. One by one, I saw those walls slam down, shutting me off from the vibrant man I'd come to know.

"Get what over with?" His behavior was troubling.

"The part where you say you don't want to sleep with me anymore. That you've decided to look for an omega or something." Dalton wouldn't look me in the eye.

Ah, shit. Well, that explained the pulling away. He was protecting himself .

"That's not what I was going to say at all."

His head snapped up. "It wasn't?" A glimmer of hope shone in his expression. A wall had an open door.

"Nope," I popped the p to be extra obnoxious. "I wanted to ask you something else."

He narrowed his eyes, suspicious. Another door opened to me. He wasn't shutting me out anymore. "What?"

"What do you think about a FWB thing?

"Friends with benefits?" He laughed. "I forget how much younger you are than me." I was only twenty-eight to his forty-something. Hardly an age gap, especially since shifters lived so long.

"Sure. Not seeing anyone else, just two friends casually sleeping together when the mood strikes."

"Not dating?"

I felt my eyebrows lift. "Are either of us in the position to date anyone? Or are you telling me you don't still have feelings for Axel?"

"It's complicated," he hedged, his tan cheeks pinked with a blush.

"I know, but what we have isn't, and I want to continue what we're doing." I tossed an arm around his shoulder, bringing him closer, sensing he needed the contact. "The sex is great. I enjoy being around you. I just don't think either of us is ready for a boyfriend or a mate. "

"You can't mate me. I'm just a beta."

"Well, I hate that rule and I do whatever the fuck I want."

"And what you want is me?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Dimples, you're hot, fun, so smart. Honestly, you're out of my league."

I watched more of his walls crumble and a pleased look filled his face.

"Even as a beta?"

"For sure," I said easily. "I want to continue what we've been doing, so no more hiding from me. We'll hang out, fuck when we get the urge and just be chill about it."

Dalton laughed, shaking his head. "I thought for sure you were going to make up some bullshit excuse not to spend time with me."

"Why would I do that? We have fun, don't we?"

"Last time…"

"What?"

He sighed. "I was a mess."

I thought back. His pain was so heartbreaking. So genuine and raw. The fact he'd let me see him so vulnerable and let me look after him meant so much to me.

"So was I." Dealing with Dalton's pain gave me an excuse to cry with him. "So why don't we just continue to be hot messes together? I'd hate to miss out on the way you choke on my dick." I gave him a suggestive leer and waggled my eyebrows, desperate to lighten the mood.

It worked, because he laughed and leaned into me. He felt happier as he picked up his sandwich. "Why the hell not!"

"You're in? Friends with benefits? Just us?" I raised my sandwich towards him to toast our promise.

He finished the toast with a grin. "Yeah. Just us."