8. Devastation

Devastation

Dalton

T he following couple of months were a whirlwind of activity for the pack as we settled into the new normal for us after the beta sickness.

I'd hooked up with Larken a few times since that first night together. Sometimes it was just a rushed hand-job to get the edge off the tension we were both feeling. Others it was sneaky blow-jobs on our lunch breaks. We were both working so much that sometimes all we could manage was a kiss and a hug. The contact was important when so many other things were up in the air in the pack.

Larken had knotted me again, just once. We still hung out all the time, I just didn't want to make too much of what we were doing while he was so emotionally fragile. Like I could say anything.

Since the attack on Elliotte, there had been several smaller kidnapping attempts and frequent incursions into our territory. Roan had largely been MIA with only a handful of calls and a string of messages between him and Larken. I could feel the hurt Lark felt as if it was my own.

Not that my situation with Axel was any better. He was still ducking out of the office every chance he got. I don't think he realized just how much stuff he was missing. I was covering for him far too much, I knew that, I just couldn't help myself.

Okay, so maybe he wasn't privy to the accounts of the factory the same way I was, thanks to my finance degree and accounting background. So he wasn't able to see how the Northarbor aviary clan were targeting us. They had damaged stock, equipment, and vehicles. They were also forcing suppliers to hike their prices, or not work with us at all. Their meddling always caused delays in much-needed repairs. They had influenced some of our customers to ask for a cut in our prices, or they wouldn't buy from us at all.

The situation was maddening. We had to waste time and money sourcing new people, machines, ingredients, for our cider, while also protecting each shipment that left our territory. All of it was eating into our profit margin. Troubling, since it wasn't like the pack was rolling in money to begin with.

Blake was a great Alpha, yet he had only been at the helm for just over a year. He had pulled the pack out of dire financial straits. With his knowledge and my creative accounting ability, we could get out of this easily, but there was a constant nagging voice which told me to not stray from my current path. I'd stopped anything remotely illegal after leaving my birth pack. I couldn't go back to that. Now wasn't the time to bend the rules. There had to be a way of fixing this without falling into old habits.

So I spent all my free time brainstorming ways to get the pack out of the financial shit storm that was quickly approaching us.

My first plan was to get the council to sanction the aviary, which I had done successfully. After all, they had before when we took in two bird shifters, one who had been wrongfully form locked, stuck in their shifted form, for the "crime" of mating outside of his species.

It was rather lucky our cider was popular with other supernaturals, as it gave credence to our plea for assistance. The aviary was damaging relations with not only shifter packs, but witches, ogres, vampires, all kinds of other beings in the area who loved our cider.

The council got the aviary to back off for a while, giving us all the time to think of new ways to fortify our supply chain. They also compensated us, giving a much-needed boost to our coffers.

With all that was going on, there wasn't much time to think about the relationship forming between me and Larken. I just knew I needed him around, and was coming to rely on him as much as he seemed to rely on me. He would come to me for comfort. It warmed my heart to be there for him.

In the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago, Larken had sought me out. He tearfully explained Roan's former bond and the changes Tate and Asher had gone through. We had clung to each other that night. Him in his grief, me in my secret jealousy. Why had Tate been given my dream? Why did he deserve it more than me?

A night of sweet touches soothed us both. It wasn't about the sex we had then. It was about having someone to really be there for us. To know we could let out the bitter feelings, though I kept my envy to myself, letting Larken have his moment without him needing to support me, though I knew he would have put aside his hurt for me without question.

Really, it shouldn't have been a surprise when only a couple of weeks after the massive confrontation where Asher had been dragged off to Abrocaelum, the land of the elves and fae, that there was more to come. I just should have realized how thoroughly the news would devastate me.

I was working in my office. Axel and the elf were off on one of their patrols. Chase was interviewing enforcers, checking them for their loyalty to the pack, when a ripple of shock ricocheted through the pack link.

One by one, the faint messages came through the mental link we all shared.

Asher's back. Tate isn't breathing properly!

Searching along the pack bonds, I found our Alpha near the clinic. I ran, along with what felt like half the pack, to join our Alpha and understand what was happening. Had there been an attack? Had the elves betrayed us?

Then, as I got close enough to hear with my heightened shifter hearing, I caught the words which would forever alter the path of our lives. All the pack would be changed.

"Yes, Alpha. My lion just wants to get Tate checked out. He's pregnant."

It felt like my heart stopped. My stomach fell somewhere to my knees. Everything was blurry, my vision obscured by tears.

Tate was pregnant! Why? Why was he the one to get this gift?

What had I done wrong to be punished like this? Why not me? The thought sent a lance of pain through my heart. I let my tears fall freely.

I crashed to my knees there in the grass, no one around me noticing as I crumbled, my tears soaking into the earth .

Deep inside, my alter stirred. He soothed me as best as he could, sending all the love he had for me down our bond. He understood how deeply this hurt me. This felt like something I might never recover from. With his strength bolstering me, I was able to regain my feet and drift closer to the innermost circle where we all surrounded our Alpha and the new omega, his alpha lion looking on the verge of madness.

"This is a miracle. The Luna has blessed us," Blake said. Even from this distance, I could see how happy our Alpha was at this news. "Let's get you to the clinic." He speared a look at the assembled crowd, making most scurry away.

Not me, though. I couldn't bring myself to move. My feet were rooted to the spot as I watched Asher take Tate into the clinic, Blake close behind them.

The elves stood guard outside as I stayed where I was. The shock was just too much for me. My brain felt like it was in overload as my heart was shredded.

All I could think was, "why would The Luna betray me like this?" I'd tried my hardest to be a good shifter, trying not to complain at being born a beta when all I wanted was the ability to have a family of my own. I so desperately wanted to be an omega. I'd have given anything to be in Tate's position .

Tate. Did I imagine the fear and doubt on his face? Did he even want to be an omega? He was so fucking ungrateful!

I don't know how long I stood there before Chase appeared by my side.

"Hey, Dally-do, the office needs you. Are you feeling okay?"

Unable to respond as I slowly tried to pull myself together, I just stood there.

Chase wrapped an arm around me. The gesture was comforting. At least my alter appreciated the side hug, but it wasn't what I truly needed.

"I'll call Lark."

"No." All I could manage was a faint protest.

"Come on, Dal, you need someone better at comforting than me. You and Larken are close now, right?"

I shrugged. The fog was lifting as panic, sharp and hot, sliced through me. Showing weakness like this was so unattractive. Larken wouldn't want me anymore if I were a huge, hot mess. Only one of us could be all needy at once.

Of course, Chase didn't listen to me and called Larken quickly. The alpha must have been nearby as he came running up to me just minutes later as I stood with Chase holding onto me .

"Hey, Dimples, Chase. Everything okay?" Lark was clearly getting a vibe as his voice was soft and his eyes searched my face for clues.

Not giving me the time to think up a lie, Chase launched into an explanation. He didn't even get to the end of it before Larken wrapped his arms around me in the tightest hug. It honestly felt like he was trying to squeeze all my broken pieces back together.

"It'll be alright. I know it's not fair, but who knows? This might be a test."

The words, "a test" echoed through my mind. I clung to it as my hands came up to clutch onto Larken.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"—" Larken's response was stolen as Roan and Hiroshi hurried onto the scene. We stepped apart. The loss of the touch had my raccoon grumbling. They ran past us, unseeing, in their animal forms. A charcoal wolf and a stunning tiger.

We both caught the change in scent at the same time. I felt Larken stiffen. There was a momentary expression of shock, then pain, before a mask slipped into place.

Roan didn't even notice us as he waited outside the clinic, and Hiroshi went inside alone.

It was my turn to comfort Larken. I took his hand and threaded our fingers together. "I've got you. "

Larken mustered a smile for me. "And I've got you. Dal—" His words cut off as Roan went inside.

The pack link was silent. Like me, I think everyone was in shock. I had at least been somewhat prepared about Tate changing designations because Chase had told me. Honestly, I should have been expecting a pregnancy announcement. The rest of the pack were unaware of everything on purpose.

I didn't know how long we all stood there just watching the clinic. Blake had moved, waiting outside of the doors. He ignored us, his focus on what was happening inside, as he watched the clinic.

It only felt like moments when a roar rang out.

"Asher!" Chase yelled. Blake's eyes met his brother's. Chase nodded in answer to whatever he had been told over their family link, then he called for more guards to be ready as the familiar figures of Roan and Hiroshi backed out of the clinic, a raven flying above them.

Hiroshi, still in tiger form, stopped next to our Alpha, Roan flanking him.

If he didn't want the baby, no one would make him carry it to term, right?

The stray thought had Roan's mental voice. Tate didn't want the baby? How dare he refuse such a gift?

I kept my feelings and thoughts locked down tight.

The raven circled the trio as roars sounded inside the clinic. They only paused when Alpha Blake used the pack link to speak to all of us, even if the words were meant for Tate.

No, Tate, he vowed. While he directed his words to Tate, all of us heard them. If you don't want this child, then we will help you. Your body is yours. Your mate cannot make that decision for you.

We drifted closer as the bird continued to fly high above us.

You swear?

I do. Blake promised. The same as I would never have asked Kade to have our babies if he hadn't wanted them. I won't allow a member of my pack to be treated like an incubator. Yes, this baby is a miracle to us, but if it isn't to you, then I understand. You've had only a couple of weeks to adjust to something that other shifters have their entire lives to come to terms with.

Shame filled me. I was only thinking of how I would react. Tate had to be terrified, especially if this was something he had never dreamed of.

Larken and Chase both wrapped arms around me as if they understood everything I was feeling.

Asher came thundering out of the clinic in his white lion form. He was beautiful and terrifying when shifted. He roared at our Alpha, who refused to back down.

I felt the wave of Alpha power directed at Asher and almost fell to my knees with the strength of it .

Something passed between the pair before the Alpha shifted. More people surrounded us, drawn by the commotion in the clinic and the words over the pack link.

"But Alpha—" Asher pleaded with Blake.

"No," Blake said firmly. "We have tolerated this for too long." A frown marred his face, making him look so much older than his twenty-two years for a moment. "You are irrational and dangerous. You either fix this, and soon, or you leave. Do you understand?"

Asher bowed his head, showing the right level of respect. Too little too late for me. Asher was a loose cannon.

"Yes, Alpha."

"Tate?" Blake's voice was gentle as he turned to the raven perched on Hiroshi's head. The tiger looked pleased to have the bird there. "Take your time to choose. Though you only have a week or two at the very most."

Tate lifted into the air and shifted as he landed. Show off.

"You'd truly let me choose?"

Blake shook his head as he took in the crowd that had gathered around him. He directed his words to us just as much as Tate.

"Every omega may choose to share their body with a new life. Babies are a privilege, but not everyone can bring new life into the world." He was so kind to Tate as he turned to speak only to him, though we all could still hear him. The very air was still as if listening.

"Tate, your bond with your alpha, with your omega mate, is so strained right now. With Hiroshi pregnant," I felt Larken's fingers spasm around mine at the confirmation. "You'd have someone to go through it all with, yet if it's too scary for you to contemplate, then we support that. We are your pack, your family. Anything you need, we will provide it."

We all watched as Tate digested the words, his fingers running over the fur on Hiroshi's head.

Finally, he spoke. "The Luna gave me this gift for a reason. I'd be a fool to throw it away, no matter how it scares me. As my mate, you have no right to tell me who I can be friends with, how I live my life. You are supposed to be my partner in all things. My best friend and support system. I shouldn't be terrified to tell you I'm unsure about being pregnant. It shouldn't be up to our pack Alpha to step in to protect me from you. This is your last chance, Ash. Your lion needs to be under control. Get over Roan's place as my friend and family. Get over yourself."

Even at this distance, I could see him crying. My heart thawed just a little towards him.

Blake, the only Alpha I'd ever seen with such a caring way with omegas, took Tate into his arms, giving him the quiet support he needed but couldn't quite get from his mate.

"Thank you, Alpha," Tate said. "I'm going to keep the baby. Will you help us?"

"Of course."

Asher fell to the ground in relief and pain. It was easy to see his grief and regret written all over his face. "I swear it, Tate, by the time our baby is here, I'll be better. For you."

Completely done and overwhelmed, I broke from Chase and turned to Larken. "Take me home and make me feel something good, please?"

Larken met my eyes. "Sure thing, Dimples."

"Go," Chase said, "I'll cover for you. Shouldn't have eaten that sushi, right?"

I managed a smile for my friend. "Right. Thanks, Chase."

Together, Larken and I walked the short distance to my little house. I opened the door carefully, just in case either Spice or Priscilla were close.

My pretty, gray, long-haired cat was nosy when new people were in her home. She appeared from my bedroom. She had likely been sleeping in the window, waiting for me to come home.

"Oh! She's a pretty one!" Larken squatted and held out a hand for her to sniff. "Priscilla, right? "

I nodded, so pleased he had remembered her name from my stories.

Approving of him, Priscilla rubbed along his long legs and allowed him to pet her. Maybe she'd let him brush her. She loved being groomed.

Spice, never to be outdone, came scampering along one of his walkways. I'd named him Spice because of his coloring, he was the black and gray most ferrets I'd seen were, but he also had a dash of cinnamon all over him. He was just too cute! Spoiling him, I had installed tunnels all along the walls, with platforms for Spice to climb up.

"Hey, Spice! Sorry, I don't have any treats for you."

My ferret didn't care, he just wanted to sniff the new person. Like my cat, he let Larken give him some fuss.

"Come on," I urged. Retaking his hand, I pulled him towards the bedroom.

Larken flashed me a grin. "Sure thing, Dal, but after, I demand playtime with your furbabies."

"Give me your knot and you can have whatever you want," I said as I stripped him out of his clothes.

He captured my mouth with a scorching kiss. Whatever I want, huh? Dangerous.

Shut up.

I felt his laughter over the pack link. I was just about to respond when his hand wrapped around my cock and all thoughts fled .

We fell into bed and used pleasure to block out the hurt of the day. We spent the rest of the afternoon and all the evening there, with only breaks to feed ourselves and my pets. The best way to end a shitty day, in my opinion. Being with Larken was so easy, and my animals loved him. The things he could do with his tongue! Phew, he was hot in bed.

Rationally, I knew using sex to cover my feelings of grief was a bad idea, but being with Larken made me feel so good. With him, I could forget the pain and just live without the weight of it on my shoulders.

Both of us had our own pain to deal with, just together, none of it seemed that bad.